#hirantalkstoomuch

[hiraunia]

Sevinka and Jinx talking about Silco like he was their ex is so important to me

[hiraunia]

There's something about Leshy's betrayal that feels more visceral than the others. While the others ability to use their destroyed body parts was greatly reduced, they weren't completely taken. Heket still talks despite her throat being torn out, Kallamar still hear even if poorly after his ear were ripped off and while Shamura's brain was literally damaged they're still quite brilliant when they can think correctly, Leshy however, Leshy is completely blind. We see in the animated shorts that he has no sense of where things are unless he can feel its presence so his bandages are just covering his empty eye sockets.

I think there's also the age factor. While the Bishops are all very old we know their birth order which correlates with their intended fighting order. So even if they are old Leshy is explicitly the youngest and is treated as such. It very much hit that those 'Must protect' instincts. Especially when you add in that I'm almost positive Leshy was designed to be the cute one if the Bishops. His shape language is literally a circle, he almost appears fluffy due to his leaves and while you have complex creatures being the other Bishops Leshy is literally a worm, that almost as simple as you can get.

While none if the Bishops are actually innocent with the tone of the game and the contrast of him and the other Bishops Leshy ends up seeming the most comparatively innocent. Between all that it almost draws a picture of a naive innocent who did not know about the danger[Narinder] until he was literally having his eyes gouged out and because he was the first(I don't think we have confirmation of that I'm just going off of fighting order) he got it the worst.

[hiraunia]

Kinda sad that we won't be getting much of Bells Hells because of the next three episodes because I'm super excited to see how Braius is gonna be fitting into this whole dynamic.

Bells hells is already so bi and so poly and so so horny and I cannot wait to see how hard that is gonna be cranked up once Braius gets settled in.

And look, I know everyone is focused on Orym and Dorian but I'm way more excited to see what's gonna be happening with Braius and Chetney. As far as I can tell Chet hasn't gotten very far with anyone in the group(Though I did just get back so I've been slowly catching up on what I missed and I could be wrong) but know we have this new guy and he being a massive flirt?!

I feel like with the way Travis has been playing Chetney and the sheer absurdity of Sam Riegal those two are going to be drawn together and it is going to be glorious to witness. Just hilariously horny antics.

[hiraunia]

I don't think I have a PD but I do like learning about them, how they manifest and how pwPDs struggle and I just find cluster b to be so funny. Like I feel like Bpd, Hpd and Npd have so many similarities and it makes a lot of sense why they're in the "Dramatic and Erratic" cluster(As stupid as I find that description, and honestly the descriptions of all PD clusters to be). And then there's ASPD. Like here's this cluster full of disorders where they struggle with their senses of self and difficulty with their emotions, oh and here's 'Don't give a shit disorder'.

Like maybe I've been misinterpreting Aspd but from what I've read from pwAspd it feel more similar to Szpd and even Ppd than it does Hpd Npd and Bpd.

[hiraunia]

AuDHDers who misinterpret their Autistic symptoms as ADHD are not the problem, its society's trivialization of ADHD as Neurotypical+ and eager dismissal of ADHD suffering.

If ADHD was taken seriously as a nuerodevelopmental disorder then there wouldn't be any issues with the conflation of ADHD and Autism because ADHD wouldn't be seen as the preferable 'problem', it would be seen for what it is, a disorder. But because it isn't seen as a legitimate disorder Autism is allowed to be dismissed as a non-issue because ADHD is extremely socially acceptable to dismiss and even debate the existence of.

The idea that ADHD can be seen as "just" ADHD despite being an incredibly difficult and life destroying disorder is part of the problem.

I often see the take that people conflating Autism with ADHD is ableist because of how that devalues how impactful Autism is on people's lives (Which is 100% true) but I rarely see that followed down to its roots which is that thus has been an ongoing problem that has been happening to ADHD since people have learned what it was. ADHD is not any less impactful than Autism, it's just differently impactful and yet I often see this conversation taking place as an Autism only issue and not an overall issue with how these disorders are treated.

[hiraunia]

With the final chapter of TCWKTM by @crinklytinfoil upcoming I have decided to celebrate with more doodles. YAY!

(Did I say upcoming, I meant release. Apperently I posted this 3 minutes after the last chapter updated)

I don't know why I have decided that Shrike always wears those night vision goggles(?) now but they look cool at least(GOD I LOVE THEM).

I think I've finally gotten a hang of Dani's hairstyle for my design which is a blessing because in order from the easiest to hardest hair texture to draw is Coily>Straight>Locs>Wavy>Braids>Curly with a jump of times 4 from braids to curly(My hubris for giving Cyan short curly hair has and will continue to keep biting me in the ass).

Speaking of Cyan, I've also updated him. He always has eye bags now cause he feels tired now, more so than the start of the fic at least. Since, unless I've missed something, he's still wearing Black's suit I felt I should make it a part of his outfit. One of the issues I was having when I drew him though was that we still call him Cyan but he wasn't wearing cyan anymore which is an issue when I read the story but when I drew him it just felt odd. My solution to that hangup of mine was to keep the suit and belt black’s but give him the gloves and boots so there's at least some cyan still on him since I don't think it was ever stated that Johnny cut those off, there wouldn't be a reason to and they would fit him better than Johnny's anyways. He also isn’t wearing his backpack thing or helmet(not that I ever drew anyone with theirs anyways) since I figured they probably lost it or some shit. In this pic no one is wearing theirs but that’s just because I wanted them to look like they were chilling, Cyan straight up doesn’t have his.

Funnily enough this is the one that took the least amount of time to make, I started it yesterday and finished it like now though I do attribute that to a stroke of sudden inspiration that I was able to draw in my sketchbook so honestly most of the work was the coloring.

Drawing these guys just kinda being silly is so fun it's unfair, especially Purple. This man has done so much bullshit, I should shoot him on sight but the moment I pick up my pen he appears, the motherfucker! A pretty fun aspect of these purple are, as you can see, he's using Grey's skin. While I'm pretty sure in the story he looks the exact same I figured it would be more fun for drawing purposes to mix the two of them together to create some distinction rather than just drawing Grey with a purple suit.

My design for Grey had him as average height but more stout(at least comparatively for my artstyle) while Purple was a little more scrawny and tall which worked well for what I wanted to do. His bangs are center parted when Grey's bangs are gathered in the center. Also I drew their expressions differently, when it's Purple I draw his more bitter/sour, I decided that most of his expressions are squinty and tend to furrow the brows while Grey's are more, I'm not sure how to put it, genuine?

As you can probably tell I really enjoy trying to come up with the character's designs myself but I know when to throw in the towel and admit someone did better than me. I tried to come up with a design for Olive/Finch myself but I just could not come up with one I liked even equally let alone more than @krysmcscience 's design. They really captured their energy well so I’m just using theirs.

Ayy, I drew my take on good old Johnny boy. I think I did a pretty good job making him look older without him becoming a mass of wrinkles.

Drawing Flayer's ship was pretty fun, I've been trying to draw backgrounds and objects more so it was good practice. We obviously don't know what it actually looks like yet other than it is made of flesh and metal so I definitely had to just make shit up. For these bitches sake I hope it's bigger than what I designed because it is going to suck otherwise. Just as I'm typing this I kinda already wanna redesign it though.

I went for something more simple based of the premise that ships are complicated and difficult to make; the whole thing is kinda supposed to look like the flesh is doing a lot of the work to keep it together to compensate for a lack of technical knowledge and skill but just now I remembered that Flayer was the head of the mechanics so she almost certainly has more than enough knowledge and experience to make a good ship on her own even without the flesh. Oh well, I can redesign it when we learn more. I'm keeping its face though, the face was a completely but incredibly happy accident.

Also, I find it interesting that the Imposter’s missions are usually about them destroying biomechanical technology but one of Flayer's named imposter abilities is to use her genetic material to create machinery that fuses artificial and organic material.

Bounus Doodles!

I'm pretty sure these were all drawn sometime before the new year but they were all I had and I didn't want to post one image of doodles so enjoy them now.

While I am still proud of Brown and Devon making out I think my favorite doodle here is Cyan and his judgmental ass face. Why is he staring at Finch like, he is not in any position to but judging like that.

I also borrowed Kry's designs for Red and Umber, I couldn't help myself for Umber, it was just too perfect!

Not sure how I feel about my take on Skeld!White(Finnegan I CANT-). I'm not sure if it's just I'm so used to seeing Kry's design that anything else feels weird or just that I made him too baby faced and princessy. I tend to draw men that are very pretty and feminine so I think I went overboard when I tried my hand since he was usually described similar to how I would normally design a man.

[hiraunia]

Learning about aromanticism and learning that I was repressing the idea of being one is wild because my entire life I just thought I was never close enough to anyone to fall in love to the point that a friend of mine in highschool suggested that I may be aromantic and I brushed it off with, and I shit you not, 'Eh I probably just haven't met the right person yet' even though I knew damn well that I was bisexual but I didn't need to get with anyone to figure that out I guess!

Then I finally, six months ago, as a full grow ass adult, start humoring, not even accept just humor the idea that I might be aromantic. Like I was straight up repressing the idea that I was aromantic for YEARS because I knew that entire time that I did not want to date anyone. Why? Because I thought the idea was so ridiculous! Of course I couldn't be aromantic, I liked my friends and I was so obviously bi, I couldn't be aromantic if I was bisexual that would just make me a monster for wanting to have sex with someone I didn't love and I wasn't some inhumane freak who couldn't romanticly love someone. Plus some of them couldn't even feel love in the first place, like what's a loveless aromantic, that's not me. I'm not a weirdo like that.

Like no one ACTUALLY loves their family, they just don't want them to die or suffer. That's basically what love is, you just want good things for someone you like. It surely isn't a completely different feeling that usually happens to coincide with caring about them. Afterall, everyone feels like they're kinda lying when they say they love their family even if they care about them and like them. Love is just weird like that, you kinda always feel like you're faking it whether it's romantic or platonic or familial because we always hype it up as the strongest feeling any human can experience but no actually feels that strongly so when we say we love someone there's always a bit of a disconnect. That's totally normal.

Yah, I was so painfully loveless it hurts to look back on. 'Oh but I really care about my friends and mom' yah but you felt sick every time you said you loved them, that ain't a normal chief!

[hiraunia]

I know nothing about cult of the lamb except what I've seen from like two of my mutuals and that they recently added a Goat player option because all the sudden I'm getting a lot of Cult of the Lamb stuff on my for you page because of that.

And then this video popped up on my for you:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNnG5QCg/

What do you mean Mating Tent?! I wasn't aware this game is freaky like that!!

Also, while I know nothing about this game I will say, I don't believe the goat and lamb were actually disturbed by what they did in that tent, they're just trying to save face. They ABSOLUTELY are going to fuck again and you can't stop them!