Closure HIM AND I
After more than a year, gathering all his courage. He finally decided to reach me. That day, Friday never imagine he’ll call me back all of a sudden, I don’t know his number anymore I ask who’s this? It caught me of guard after hearing his voice on the other line. The first thing is, he said “SORRY, IM SORRY’ never taught he will utter those words again and again. I don’t know how to react honestly so he continues to explain that he can’t find me nor search me to his account. Even attempting to call me at my work place but he thinks once I find out its him ill end his call. He knows the answer to his questions already yet he asks me still. We talk for almost fifteen minutes how’s life and updates to us. He asks me if I get mad of him? Of course, yes, after finding out about what he had done to me. As time goes by, I told him that I understand him already I know his situations so its fine, don’t worry I’m already okay now. I apologies also then after saying it to him he finally said “because of you “which is I know the meaning already. Instead, I repeated to say SORRY… (Inside of me” we can’t be together I don’t see myself to you I’m sorry”) I Don’t want to make things complicated from the both of us he’s happy to what he has now, I think. So, I won’t bother him anymore. Even though I told him that he needs to explain it to me in person but after that I realize, that’s enough! There’s nothing more to say it clears everything he is happy so am I. Just like what he said” are you cutting the ties of us already, because he can’t search me at all and no more string attach. After finding out what he had done to me, which is he unfriended me to his social media account recently this year. So, to make it fair I blocked and I deleted everything that reminds me of him. He made the first move so I’ll do the ending.
I know I also hurt his feelings because having a guy friend is the rare thing that every girl like me dream of. I just don’t want to ruin our precious friendship that we build, but the mere fact is that when you keep on protecting, saving all those memories you have shared together all those happy and sad moments, frustrations, disappointments that you’ve been through. How I cried and laugh every time we talk to each other. Some Advices when we’re broke, comforting each other when one of us are lost and doesn’t know what to do next. thinking giving up is the only key for everything. The one call away friend that I can rely on when I’m in torment. Where I can be who am I through good times and bad times. Those shared future dreams, plans that we promise together. All of these I wanted to SAVE and PROTECT but he chose to FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. Love me more than, I could never ever imagine for the rest of my life. I wanted to last our relationship forever as special good friend of mine, a brother and a sister that we can lean on to each other. Yet he doesn’t want what I wanted. I don’t want to lose him, BUT he chose to leave and walk away. I tried to reach him once again coz haven’t heard anything from him for a couple of days, that turns into months and now for more than a year. So, he finally decided his on path to undo me to his life. It HURTS I admit and I won’t deny it because all I thought is he understand me, he understands my intentions for the both of us. I thought not loving him back to be together is enough to make him stay. Either way, I lost him both.
06-18-21
