something ive thought about a lot. even though i know no ethnic experience is the same, i always find myself struggling with thoughts like this, so i decided to make a vent comic about it
image id under the cut!
[image id: a grayscale comic.
the words ‘I am hispanic’ are written in white above a scribbled-in silhouette of a person. below that, there are five more scribbled-in people; the three on the left are gray, the one in the middle is white, and the one on the left is also gray. the words ‘my grandparents on my mother’s side emmigrated from Mexico. I’m not sure about my father’s parents’ are written beside the people.
the words ‘the line of my heritage is filled with people of color’ are below that, and they are overlapping with a large gray crowd of scribbled-in stick figures in a triangle shape that points to the words ‘And yet’
the words ‘I feel distant from them’ are below the crowd of people and to the left of a singular white scribbled-in silhouette. the sentence continues in the right of the figure with ‘from my culture’ and then below the figure with ‘from my family.’
the next image shows the side profile of a person with two piercing holes and hair that just barely touches their collarbone. their mouth is open, and there is a speech bubble to the right of them that reads ‘I don’t even know how to speak Spanish.’
underneath that, the words ‘My mother says she tried to teach my siblings and I when we were young,’ are written with four silhouettes in ascending height - shortest on the left and tallest on the right - below that. the shortest silhouette is colored white while the rest are gray. the sentence continues below the silhouettes with the words ‘but we didn’t want to learn.’
below that, the words ‘I know I’m not white’ are written largely and are encased in a bubble of scribbles.
in the next image, the words ‘But the stereotype of the hispanic family -’ are written above five gray gingerbread-looking people, all connected by the arms and all smiling. the words ‘close and tight-knit and full of frequent and bright gatherings-’ are written above an identical set of five gray people. below the gingerbread people, the sentence finishes with ‘has never been my family.’
below that, there is a gray retro dial-up phone with the phone off the receiver to the left of the white words ‘I barely even speak with my extended family.’
the words ‘my grandparents died before I could speak to them in their tongue’ are written below that and to the right of a bouquet of roses and daisies that look as though they are falling flowers-first to the ground.
the next image shows the words ‘I know I’m not white’ are written again, encased in a bubble of scribbles.
below that, a hand and part of a forearm is drawn with the words ‘but my skin is pale’ on the right. a pair of lips with the top lip colored in white with a speech bubble are below those words. the speech bubble is below the hand, and it reads ‘and my tongue is foreign to that of my ancestors’
underneath that, there are two scribbled-in silhouettes. one is white and small, and the other is gray and looming over the white one. the words ‘a hispanic friend once related to me some of her struggles.’ are to the right of the looming gray figure. next to the small white figure are the words ‘I tried to empathize,’ with the sentence finishing beneath both figures with ‘but she told me I wouldn’t get it.’
the next image shows a single scribbled-in white figure in the middle of the words ‘I wasn’t hispanic enough for her’ and the words ‘i guess’ beneath it.
the words ‘I know I’m not white’ are written below that, again encased in a bubble of scribbles.
beneath the bubble of scribbles, ‘but am I hispanic enough?’ are written.
underneath those words, a single white scribble figure is drawn upside down, a gray cartoon heart that is half-scribbled on in white is drawn on the left side of their chest. the heart is ‘bleeding’ gray droplets that make a puddle to the right of the figure’s head. the words ‘I have no relationship with my family’ are written on the left of the figure, with the sentence continue on the right with ‘ i have pale skin’ and to left again with ‘i don’t even know Spanish.’ In the gray puddle, the words ‘I am a foreigner born in hispanic blood’ is written in black.
the comic ends with the words ‘I don’t even know how to speak Spanish’ written in white.
