Times Square, Manhattan (late 1960s). Photographed by Eiichiro Sakata.
Sakata was a Japanese photographer who worked with famed photographer Richard Avedon while he was on trip for Vogue in 1965. Avedon invited him to New York the following year and became his darkroom printer. On weekends, he roamed around Manhattan, taking portraits in Times Square from 1966-1969.
Times Square, known for its theatres and hotels in the early 20th century, was in rapid decline by the mid-1960s. The Great Depression and city decline brought more adult forms of entertainment, such as burlesque shows and dance halls. Sex work started to become prevalent in the area. The introduction of the 25-cent peep-show in 1966 brought even more explicit forms of entertainment and commerce, like porn theatres and shops. The Port Authority Bus Terminal became a known pipeline for runaways coming to the city and the sex work industry.
JUNE 6, 1944: Members of the 82nd Airborne Division, 508th Regiment, check their equipment before taking off from an airfield in Saltby, England. source
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"No. You can't," Haj-deek started.
"I have," Vivec replied placidly. "You touched the Heart. You carry its power."
"You had no right," Nerevar raised a fist. "You didn't tell us you meant to--use her, as you used me."
"And what else would you have me do? Cast down the Tribunal, and plunge Morrowind into chaos?" The soft tone went on. "Have Baar Dau fall, and thousands die?"
"You do not need HER to stop Baar Dau!" Nerevar and Voryn spat at the same time.
Haj-deek wanted to shrink away, into the rock when the fists started getting thrown. She wanted to disappear into the soot and ash that had been tracked in, that despite cleaning seemed to cling to the bottom of everyone's shoes.
I don't know if I want this...
A feeling then. The same feeling she remembered getting, whenever the Hist wanted something of her.
I'm afraid.
A deeper feeling in her bones, almost. A certainty. The angry voices went on around her and she paid them hardly any attention, she was so consumed with pleading with whatever-it-was in her own mind.
Fixing her father's madness had felt impossible but still more doable than this. That was...one and done. This...THIS...
Use me as you will...
Lorkhan seemed like he'd expected it. Maybe that was what he thought of everyone who came near his heart. But she didn't want to, she'd just wanted a family.
Is this what he felt like?
She remembered, suddenly, Almalexia. The crazed hatred in those golden eyes, and a fear that she might look out on someone else with that same face.
Think of all those you could help...think of all those things you could do...
"FUS--RO DAH!"
Suddenly there was a gust of wind, and Haj-deek was broken out of her thoughts. When she looked up Vivec was standing back from Nerevar and her father, who'd both fallen over.
"What in oblivion was THAT?" Nerevar growled. "Doesn't matter, I'm still going to beat the guarshit out of you!"
"Stop!" she called out. "This isn't helping. We JUST fixed everything!"
"Exactly," her father said, straightening himself up, "And I am not about to let him RUIN it."
"Can we not have any more fighting?"
"Sod that, I'm--" Nerevar stopped, suddenly, seeming to consider something else. "Start with explaining what you just did and tell us WHY we should allow this."
"You remember the Tongues from the Battle of Red Mountain? Jurgen the Calm?"
"I do," Nerevar calmed just slightly, and Voryn soon echoed him.
"He reflected for some time on why things went so poorly for the nords, and decided it must mean that they had been unfaithful to Kyne--Kynareth. He decided to make a monastery in Skyrim. It was there I learned the art, from some of those who followed his way."
"Jurgen, a monk?" Nerevar laughed, but it petered out when he saw Vivec (who was still wiping blood from under his nose) was deadly serious about it.
"Now," Vivec said, "Are you going to listen, or are we going to brawl like a bunch of drunken canvasari?"
"The thought had crossed my mind."
"What good can this do?" Haj-deek finally found her voice.
"The maiden succeeds the mother," Vivec started, "The young, the revolutionary, the hortator come again. Almalexia's sphere, redefined. The people will still worship Ayem, of course, but while she is still young, an altered view is best. Consider it - youth sparks the fire of change. The patron of children, the sick, the needy. Love, and mercy, and all of that."
He glanced up at her.
"You did always say you wanted to be a healer, and here is the best opportunity to do so. The power you took from the Heart--"
"I didn't take it," Haj-deek said suddenly. Taking Almalexia's spot, that was an uncomfortable idea. The idea of being WORSHIPED even more so.
But then she remembered that look the sailor had given her when she'd healed the wound that should have killed him. The surprise, the relief...the joy...
"Lorkhan gave it to me," she said.
"She speaks true." Sotha Sil, who had remained silent even through the brawling, went on, "I spoke to the Heart when I took my own turn at it. He wants something of her - of us all."
"To stop Alduin's return, or...no, he didn't want to become Alduin. I don't know anything about that. 'And scrolls have foretold of black wings in the cold, that when brothers wage war come unfurled'..."
"A nordic prophecy, I believe," Sotha Sil replied, "You mumbled about it while you were out, and I have started looking, but it will require more effort."
"He wants us to stop him from becoming Alduin," she said, "So you might need to look for things that may not actually have been written down...or may not actually exist."
She wanted something to talk about that wasn't Vivec's plan. How was one to be a god, anyway? Healing someone's wound was one thing, having people pray to you to heal their wounds, that was another...
Yes, Haj-deek thought, she was afraid. But then the thought of all the good she could do returned...
"What have you told people?" she asked Vivec. "I could help a lot of people doing this, but...I need to know what you've already told everyone."
"If your father and...Nerevar...will allow me to continue without further bloodying my person, I will explain."
"You aren't considering this!" her father burst out.
"I am," Haj-deek said quietly. "He was the one to show me that...spell...that fixed you. He was the one to come up with the plan to bring House Dagoth back into...that will let us be a house again. If it doesn't hurt anyone..."
Lorkhan had said she could. The Hist...she was pretty sure that was what was behind that urging feeling to do this. The Hist would want this. She didn't need to wonder why, that part was obvious.
When it looked like calm would rule the day, Vivec went on.
"Incarnate of Nerevar, son of Boethiah, and so shall the Prince of Plots follow you also. It was Boethiah who spoke of the truth of Lorkhan's plan, and it was you who listened to Lorkhan when none other would."
"Make an enemy of Boethiah. This sounds like a wonderful idea," Haj-deek laughed weakly.
"The alternatives were Lorkhan himself or Meridia, and I doubt the transition would be as smooth in either case. You acted as well as any acolyte of Boethiah would - things changed because you acted, because you saw what you wanted and made it happen. You are here, because you fought for and carved from certain end in prophecy that which you wanted."
"It makes sense," Nerevar said suddenly, in a tone of voice Haj-deek didn't at all expect, raising a hand to stop her father's next potential outburst. A voice that sounded like some of the canons at the temple, or like the Duke when she'd overheard him talking about some plan or the other of his. "But you can't use her as you did me - without asking. I keep my mouth shut about Foul Murder because it benefits me and House Dagoth. The very moment I detect a hint of--"
"Head on a spike, hands in a box. I have seen what becomes of your enemies," Vivec said. "Truthfully, no one else would do. I was unsure if you would agree to it despite your...sundering from Azura, and so the youngest of you seemed the best option. More importantly, one in a position to be watched."
"Watched," Haj-deek said.
"Watched," Nerevar echoed. "Explain."
"Sotha Sil had his Mechanical Heart and the welfare of the Clockwork City. I had the Nerevarine to wait on. Almalexia had little to do but mire herself in loss. I have reflected on the situation at large and come to the conclusion that supervision is needed, to prevent...exactly the sort of thing befalling us all again."
"And you choose someone already likely to be supervised," Nerevar said. "I hate that that's a good idea."
"Five minutes ago you were attempting to remove his head, and now you agree with him?!" Voryn burst out. "NO!"
"Voryn," Nerevar raised his hand again. "How does this work? We watch her, who watches you?"
"All of you," Vivec said. "You watch me, and Sotha Sil. We watch you, and each other in turn. We meet as often as possible, so it may be judged if any of us begin to backslide or go mad as Almalexia did. We frame it as her defeating the darkness, but needing to be prepared in case it should return to seize any of us."
"I despise that you have a point."
"Is anyone going to ask what I think?" Haj-deek asked quietly, feeling suddenly too seen when they all looked at her. "I...I like the idea of...I don't want to become what she did. I don't think she wanted it either. But without someone to check her, she...she broke under the strain."
She could hate Almalexia all she wanted but she felt a great deal of pity for her too. She still didn't really want this, but she wanted to help people, and...this was an easy way to do that, wasn't it? Wouldn't it help House Dagoth if she did this? The Mother had had to die, but she could make sure this death meant something, that she actually turned what might have been an evil end to better use.
"I don't know how to be worshiped. I know how to be nobody, and that's about it."
"I'll tell you what Vehk used to tell me in the old days when I was first king," Nerevar said, "Be what you wish you saw everywhere else."
"And you did that?"
"He did not in fact do ANY of that," Sotha Sil said, for once with an edge in his voice.
The talks went on for quite a while longer, but all seemed mostly settled once they were done.
Haj-deek would come to Mournhold when the body of Almalexia went, to bring Mother Morrowind's body to its final resting place - with, of course, Nerevar and some guards of her father's choice.
She would appear not as the Mother, but as the Maiden, and Nerevar would assist her in speaking in the manner expected of her...or speak for her, if need be. Vivec suggested it to hammer in the association of the First Hortator with the Second, the Redeemers.
Haj-deek still wasn't sure about any of this, but if Vivec said it, they would all believe it, and she wanted her family to be a family as the other Great Houses again.
Think of the good you can do.
Again and again the thought came, urging her, and she kept flip flopping on whether or not she thought it was her own mind or the Hist. One moment she would be certain and the next change her mind again.
------------------------------
Im-Kilaya stayed to make his requests. Her father was ill pleased by it but it was figured that it would be best to get all the unpleasant demands and requests out of the way at once rather than spread them out.
With Vivec and Sotha Sil preparing to leave, he acted, bringing into sight a small bag, from which he produced a single black seed.
"You want one of your accursed trees planted here? Of course you do," her father spat. "You want to draw the power I wield into your trees, and--"
"The Hist does not need your power," Im-Kilaya replied evenly. "And the presence of our trees would benefit the land greatly, even if it were only one of them. And one indeed is all I ask. I only want you to remember...all that you have now, you have only because of my people and I. Not the Dunmer you see as above us, but the Argonians, the beastfolk, we are why you enjoy your family and your sanity again. We do not ask for gold or titles, but things of greater weight."
"Freedom," Haj-deek said.
This, this must be why the Hist would want her where she was. So she could do something about slavery.
"I don't know what to do," she added a second later, "I want to help, but I don't know what to do."
"You cannot seriously be--" her father started, and for all the doubt Haj-deek had felt that day she was certain, at least, about this.
"I am," she said firmly, "I don't know what to do, or how to do it, but I want...I want to help them. I couldn't do anything before, and now...now maybe I can."
Her father still did not care for the idea, but he seemed at least impressed by the sudden certainty she was showing.
"Cleansing my madness was not enough, was it? Do you aim to fix all the world's ills?"
"If I can," she said.
She could not fix everything, obviously, but she could still do SOMETHING, and something was better than the nothing that had happened until this point.
"And the seed?" she asked.
"Sunnar..." there was a groan.
"It doesn't need to be directly outside the citadel," she said, "If we had anywhere with sufficient water now, that would do..."
"Mausur," Nerevar suggested, "The ice your mother put up while she...lived there...melting without her there to maintain it. With the lava, I imagine it would be as close to swampy as one can get a place so long devoid of water in general. We tell people that their precious Maiden was kept safe from whatever danger Vehk's unhinged mind concocts by the beastfolk, and this is her way of repaying the favor."
He could go from violence to plotting so quickly. The blood from Vivec's nose wasn't even dry on his hands earlier before he'd turned on a drake to think of how to spin it to their advantage. Was this how he'd become king?
She took the seed, hugged Im-Kilaya one more time. Then he left, to seek out Sotha Sil and Vivec so they might leave.
"Mutiny, in my own citadel," her father said, "You all are lucky I do not turn you out and force you to live with Vehk as punishment!"
"I should die before the day was out - by my own hand. I doubt I could put up with the moralizing or poetic nonsense long enough to get to dinnertime. Spare me, Lord Dagoth!" Nerevar called out, suddenly in a jovial tone.
"He's not so hard to ignore, once you get used to it," Haj-deek said. "He'll repeat anything that's really important."
"Is everyone plotting but your mother?" her father asked. "Where did she go?"
"Dara made herself scarce when we started fighting with Vehk," Nerevar said, "I can go after her, if you want."
"No, no, I'll take care of that. In the meantime. You, and you--" he pointed to Nerevar and Haj-deek. "--no more surprises."
"How was I supposed to know he'd do that?" Haj-deek burst out.
"This is how: if Vehk's lips are moving, he is lying or scheming," Nerevar replied with a rakish grin. "My own is over, Lord Dagoth, you have my word."
Her father made a noise Haj-deek was more accustomed to hearing from grumpy old men back in Ebonheart, and then moved off.
-------------------------------------------------
It made sense, in quite a few ways, and that burned almost worse than having to work with Vivec in the first place. A bright future, forged from the dark bones of the past.
He hated it.
He hated it so much.
On one hand it would keep her close to home for quite some time, and far away from the clutches of the legions of filthy imperial-lovers that were the Hlaalus...AFTER this visit they planned to Mournhold, of course.
He would have to be sure to send someone along who absolutely could be counted on to prevent trouble from that direction. Ulen, he could absoluttely trust, but it was a guarantee that sending him would go poorly for everyone involved. Another name came to mind as he passed through the hallway leading to the hot springs, and he nodded to himself. Yes, one perhaps inclined to plan and plot, but one who would obey regardless.
The sound of happy little squeaks made themselves obvious when Voryn walked into the hot springs cavern, and he turned in the direction of Sadara's corner.
"You do like scuttle, don't you," she was saying to the formerly blighted rat. "I can't give you any more, or you'll get fat, and we don't want it being too hard for you to get around."
Sadara finally stood from where she'd been kneeling. He stepped closer, and she started to turn.
There was a smile on her face.
"Is the yelling finally over, then, Nerevar? I th...ought...that..."
Her voice dropped, along with the smile that had seemed so bright. She fixed the frightful look quickly, but it had been there long enough to see it.
"I--didn't expect you, L....Voryn," she spoke after a long pause. "Nerevar isn't here."
"I was looking for you, actually."
Surprise. Was that surprise he saw now?
"You rushed off once Vivec angered us, and I wanted to be sure you were well."
"Well enough," she replied quietly. "What did you end up deciding?"
She did not look him in the eye. This was behavior he expected from a sleeper or dreamer, not her.
"Sunnar ended up saying she wanted to do it," he said, "She's expressed interest in the healing arts, and using what authority this would give her to help free slaves. I wouldn't have expected it, if she hadn't been brought up by the Argonians."
A pause.
"Why did you choose them?"
Sadara twisted her hands together. "I had brought them some slaves to hide before. I thought if anyone would hide me, it was them. They were good people, and it needed to be a port town. I thought my chances were better there than in Vivec City."
"You could have come back."
"I didn't think I could," she replied.
"Even as injured as you were, you thought you couldn't? Whatever you thought of my plan, I thought surely if anything were wrong, you would know you would be safe with a Sixth House base."
She took a deep breath.
"Gilvoth figured me out," she replied quickly, starting to run at the mouth, "He'd figured it out the first time I left, wanting to see the sun at Kogoruhn. And when I finally decided to leave for certain, I...he made it clear that if I ever returned he would tell you why I had left. And I was afraid, I thought...you might say anything, do anything, I don't know. Maybe just...obliterate my memory, like you did with Ulen and the others, so you could just have Nerevar, as you wanted. I wasn't him, I was never going to be him, but he was all you saw when you looked at me."
She looked up at him after that, finally, like she was waiting for something terrible while he dealt with the fire blast she'd just lobbed at him. Logically he knew it, but to hear her confirm it, to spit it out as if she were speaking the words that would drag her to the gallows?
"I will not deny that that was true, before," he said carefully. "But why act as though it means the same now?"
"Because Nerevar is here," she said, trembling. "What use do you have for me with him here?"
There had been time for her to bring this up before. Plenty of time. Why now, when it was just the two of them--
Oh.
Oh.
She didn't want Nerevar or Sunnar hearing about this. She wanted to get what she saw as inevitable done and over with, out of sight of the others. She was ready to get the crying started, even.
"I did not bring you back just to toss you out again. For one thing, Nerevar would take my head over it. The man does not love easily, but when he does, he is utterly devoted."
That finally made Sadara smile again. Her posture eased, even if she still struggled to meet his eyes.
"You are not going anywhere. None of us are."
Then she started to actually cry, and Voryn realized just how unprepared he was to have anyone emoting at him. The best he could offer was a hug but that seemed to be all she needed.
-----------------------------------------
The established routine returned. Nerevar insisted on spending more time with Haj-deek to prepare her for this trip to Mournhold. He had a decent handle on etiquette (however boring he found it), but politicking was one of his specialties, so he would share these particular duties with Gilvoth who insisted on continuing the lessons she'd started when she first came to Red Mountain.
Politics, and suspicion. She didn't like these things, but given what she was about to start doing she knew she'd have to at least TRY.
And thinking of that...
When her father told her that he'd chosen Orvas Dren as the head of the escort group (or honor guard, perhaps?) she felt another tug from that instinct she assumed was the Hist. It wanted something to do with him, but she thought at first it must be because he owned slaves and she was supposed to free them.
The next step came when Nerevar was pouring out some Ancient Dagoth Brandy for himself at breakfast. She felt a tug so strong she couldn't stay silent.
"Could I have a bottle?" she asked suddenly, looking up at her father. "To give to Orvas. After...stealing the skooma, you know, I...feel I owe him something."
"And suppose you get tempted by it, as you were the skooma?" Nerevar asked.
"You'd be able to smell it a mile away. I'd never be that stupid. Besides, if I wanted anything I could just get an Almsivi Intervention scroll and get myself to Ald'ruhn, then to Vivec City, the Black Shalk Cornerclub will sell to..."
The stares almost made the moment worth it.
"She's just like you!" Voryn accused Nerevar. "How is that possible? Sunnar, you'll have the bottle, but you're to take it to my room."
"Do you not trust me?"
His face buried itself in his palms, with an only slightly upset groan. She would have the bottle by the end of breakfast, and made as if to obey the command to take it to her father's room.
She took a slight detour to her own, half afraid they'd see her.
Half afraid they'd think she was drinking it herself, which she did not in fact do.
What she did do was uncork it, sway a bit from the strength of the brandy's scent, and then reach into the bag in her wardrobe for the golden vial that had been there since the beginning of her journey.
She emptied the vial of Hist Sap into the brandy bottle, swirled it around a bit, corked it back up, and carried it into her father's room as he'd ordered. Not a moment too soon, she thought, as she saw Nerevar coming down the hall.
