Hi hi!!! It's Bri Bri here! I worked on this but, it is rusty due to me not writing for a while. I do hope you like it and I know it may be bad. I hope you enjoy the drabble! I love these two so much!! Momo and Toshiro have been my ship for a long time since first starting Bleach. I loved their interaction and also, I wanted to write more on my ship! < 3
Each night it was scary. To sleep alone, feel the blankets laying on top of her. The warmth of the soft fabric against one's skin. Fingertips squeezed against the blanket in comfort. Twisting and turning on the bed. Feeling tears creating in her eyes. The fear of being alone. Terrified of that dream she had over and over. Her love her admiration taken away. By the one she trusted, the one who gave her hope. He...ripped it with that blade through her chest. Stabbed. Blood leaking out in pain, that blade struck in her chest. How could he do this...? Why did he do it? Her heart is broken over the fact he lied to her. Lied to everyone and used her. The tears fell even more. In the darken room, where she slept after being let free to go. Those nightmares don't go away. They don't!
"Was it my fault...? Could I have not noticed due to my love and admiration?" Hinamori whispered those words. Not understanding she still questioned why he did it. Knowing in her heart he never loved her. She was nothing but a doll to him. To be used like a doll on string like a puppet. It was then---she heard a noise due to her screaming. Someone came inside it was Toshiro her childhood friend who came.
"Oi, Hinamori wake up!" His hand lightly touched her shoulder trying to wake her. He came to see her like they were planned to do. To watch the stars together just like they always use to do as children in the rukon district. The brunette would quickly sit up with full on tears down her face. "No!!" She panicked sitting up on the bed. "Don't hurt them!! Don't do it!" She yelled out when two hands gripped her shoulders tightly. "HINAMORI!!" Momo eyes widen in shock, her eyes blurred with a vision of watery tears. "S...Shiro-chan..?" Her whisper had a cracked tone in her voice.
"Hinamori..." The white haired male spoke full concern for her. Knowing full well what she gone through even suffered from him due to Aizen's trick. He left a scar on her that could not be erased. Nor could he ever forgive himself for it. Quickly wiping her tears away, both of her hands would wipe the watery tears. "W...What are you doing here, Shiro-chan?" She asked in a more calm tone. Toshiro let out a sigh, soft yet a little frustrated that she forgot.
"Didn't you want to see the stars? You came earlier to ask and I came here to get you." His tone was gentle yet calm. He knew she missed going even if it was a little before bed. It brightened her mood.
"Oh! That's right...I after finishing my paperwork I.." Recalling her earlier tracks with coming in her room to nap after her Taichou Hirako had ordered her to finish up the work which she knew he wanted to listen to his jazz music. Of course she scolded him. Still---she was looking forward to watching stars with Shiro-chan. Staring at Hinamori Toshiro had his teal eyes look into her eyes full of worry. "Hinamori...are you sure you are alright? You were having another nightmare weren't you?" He didn't let his voice show any panic but, truthfully he felt she was dreaming of the past again. Hinamori couldn't deny it. She knew Shiro-chan would always worry. He always did look out for her. Never would she want to worry her best friend. "Ah...no Shiro-chan I was just having a dream about Hirako-Taichou. He was...giving me all his work again. It was no---"
Just then Toshiro raised his voice to stop Momo. "Hinamori, I know you were having one because I heard you screaming!" He spoke loudly but full of worry. Seeing her kimono it did show the scar she gotten from him. His teal eyes looked full of sorrow, of agony for what he did. Tears fell down her face, looking at Toshiro with sadness. "Shiro-chan.." Not wanting to worry him. No! She never wanted that...never in her mind did she wish for his sadness. "I...didn't want to worry you. I...just..." she suddenly felt arms wrapped wound her tightly. Pulling her into a embrace, feeling her body just lay against his chest. His arms wrapped around her back, not too tightly as he knew she was fully recovered. However, her nightmares still came back. Some nights they were gone some nights they weren't. He often tried to come check on her.
Grabbing onto his Haori, tightly her fingers trembling against him. Her breathing rapidly going faster. Feeling her body slowly relax, smelling the scent on Toshiro. It was relaxing, calming, even putting her heart and mind at ease. "Hinamori, don't deal with this all on your own! You know...I will be here." His words spoke in a soft whisper.
How can I have her feel less alone? Why does she always do this? He has to protect her from any pain. Knowing full well she was scared to trust. He knew that and yet...
Tears fell down her face, sobbing onto his black shihakusho. Taking a deep breath, her lips stopped quivering. "Shiro-chan...I...I..." she stopped when Toshiro just kept her in his arms. "Hinamori... You don't have to tell me now. Cry out your tears." He would hear Momo cry again knowing she bad a bad nightmare and he didn't want her to stress more. He didn't want to see her in pain.
Minutes had passed after Momo lifted her head off of Toshiro's chest. Her chocolate eyes staring into his teal eyes. Seeing he was relaxed and only worried about her. "Shiro-chan, thank you for letting me cry. I...just didn't want to worry you. I always wanted to keep this to myself." She would speak knowing he would always tell her it was alright to speak with him.
Just then a flicker lightly flicked her head. "Hinamori... you bed wetter! I will always be willing to listen no matter what is going on! You always did forget." He would sigh slowly before continuing, "I know it isn't easy...just know I will never leave your side no matter what happened in the past. I will always forgive you." He spoke softly, his words full of gentleness. Momo would rub her head, feeling the slight pain but she would smile hearing his words. She knew he never would even after all that happened, he was always there and never would abandon her. Her eyes widen in a slight anger. "Shiro-chan!! I am not a bed wetter!! I don't do that anymore. What am I to do with you?" Her eyes soften before she smiled at Toshiro.
"Thank you...Shiro-chan." Momo said when Toshiro would glare. "What did I say Hinamori! You are to call me by Hitsugaya-Taichou!" He said when she looked at him in surprise. "Ah, yes...I forget but, Shiro-chan." She said in a soft tone to stand up where she would fix her robes. Walking to go towards her door. Hearing footsteps behind her it was Toshiro who walked with her to go outside on the roof where they often watch the stars. "I did ask you to come view the stars with me didn't I? Thank you, Shiro-chan."
Once they both used flash step, sitting on the roof with carrying soft pillows for their bottoms. Just for extra support, a warm smile appeared on the brunette face. Her chocolate eyes stared up at the many lights in the darkness sky. They glimmer with a light that calmed her worried heart. The scars will not fade however they will always remain there. A reminder of what transpired. The pain and yet growth. The growth in maturity of learning to heal slowly and forgive. Momo would never hate Toshiro for what has happened. That day when he stabbed her due to Aizen's trickery. She often touched the scar with one hand. A smile appeared on her face, taking a deep breath when she let her head lay on his shoulder. She did not blame him nor hate. The scar reminds her of their bond remaining strong even now.
Toshiro did not move---he stayed still to feel the warmth from Momo. Her warmth of being alive, being here with him was all he needed. Watching the stars together since childhood. That was enough for him. It was more than enough...he will always make sure she was safe and here with him. He would see Momo eyes closed to relax against him. His head would rest on top of hers as his smile was shown. The starry skies, the cool night air, mixed with the quiet of the crickets chirping. The light wind breeze as Momo fallen asleep comfortably on Toshiro. He remained there watching the stars where he will remain to be near her.
A blanket of white covered the entire Seireitei, within inside the walls of the Soul Society in the fourth division barracks. There was someone sitting there, on the bed awake and alert. Her eyes didn’t have black lines underneath them due to her shredding tears down her face. Feeling guilty with distant memories of the past. Surrounding her mind with twisted dark memories as well, along with the good memories.
It was clear to her that these memories haunt her. The ones she remembered from her deepest part of her heart. The betrayal..the one that struck her heart through her chest. The man she thought---she could trust. He was not the one she clings to, adore so much that she worked so hard to get her position. These thoughts clouded her mind, hence her still sitting on the bed watching outside the large window. Inside the room where she would see the snowflakes falling down onto the already covered with the fluffy white snow.
How she wished to turn back time, to fix her mistakes with ever thinking her childhood best friend was the one who killed him. The man she wish to forget.. The one who hurt her so much that the other part of her memory was after the battle. Vaguely she could see someone behind her; his eyes were widen with agony and pain. Teal orbs shook with his hands shaking, holding onto her as she asked him those words. ‘Shiro-chan...why?’ That when she remembered this memory so very well.
Knowing that her wounds did heal, on her chest there was a reminder of that. Lightlly touching her chest, the part that hurt her the most is that how weak she was. To be so easily used against everyone and even putting Shiro-chan through that... He must have been so in pain. Of course he was! Tears wouldn’t stop falling, her happiest times were before the betrayal. Speaking to Toshiro about Aizen, he always would listen sometimes question why he was so great. Still...she knew the one who cared for her the most was never far away.
He was always there...always protecting her and, caring for her. It was---so obvious to her. However, she was blinded by Aizen’s love to see it. Although knowing he always wanted to protect her. That is why she wanted to get stronger for his sake and her own. Not realizing that someone walked into her room, his demeanor was quiet with making no sounds to alert Momo.
Seeing she was staring outside the window, looking at the snowflakes fall, he wondered if she was in a daze. Knowing this his movement would quietly, ever moving softly till both feet were inches from the bed. His white front bangs hang down in front of his face, eyes narrowed a little when seeing something was falling. He could hear soft whimpers from Momo. She was crying it seemed and he felt his eyes look full of pain.
Hinamori’s skin looked pale to the Captain of tenth division, along with being her childhood friend since their younger days. Hence he was quite worried for her. Although he had a feeling that she was blaming herself for all that happened. Teal irises would look down at the vase, seeing the flowers brought to her were lilies. They were the color of purple, in his eyes they reflected the flowers. Taking in a deep breath, his chest would rise then lower before he turned his head to face Hinamori’s back. Moving his right hand, gently so his fingers would touch her back ever so slightly.
Jumping the brunette made a loud sound, causing Toshiro to look surprised in his expression. Perhaps a different approach would have been wise. Turning her body slowly, once her chocolate eyes noticed him. “S-Shiro-chan?!” Hinamori yelled, in a surprise----confused tone. Why would he be here? Of course when she was gazing out to the snow. This brought back memories when they use to play in it together as children. Along with their Grandmother watching over them as they weren’t really hers. However, she took them in without a second thought.
Toshiro’s hand would lower to his side once more, a gentle expression changed on his face after seeing she was herself. At least from the outside, inside he knew she had a lot of doubt about herself and fears. Her hands in front of her chest, eyes looking away from him, bangs of her hair falling in front of the brunette’s peach skin. Trying to cover her tears with the rubbing of her hands against her eyes. It was all a cover up----to try and focus on not what’s inside. He knew, he knew all too well what she was doing. Not worry her best friend who been there...
“Hinamori, I thought I told you..to call me Hitsugaya-Taichou. Not ‘Shiro-chan’.” He addressed her about the matter quickly. Hinamori remembered their last encounter before the war. It was just like this time except he was in the world of the living to help Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends against the arrancars. Very vividly she could remember. It was like yesterday and yet..there were things she wish to forget. Like ever pointing her blade at him, knowing he would not blame her. Never would he say ‘that is your fault, Hinamori!’ Really...
Her chocolate orbs would look into his teal eyes, staring with the thoughts in her mind and his. Knowing full well that he came here to see her, to check up on her. After the war with Aizen she has been in here recovering. It was recently that Unohana-Taichou told him that Hinamori was awake and alert with no life threatening wounds.
Thankful he decided to come see her after all his paperwork was finished. Watching Momo who would look straight at him with her chocolate tired eyes. Well---by tired he would assume crying her eyes out over all the thoughts. There was a chair next to the bed, moving to place his bottom against the chair. Teal irises would look down away from Hinamori. Trying to not make her feel uncomfortable. Knowing deep down he just wanted to see that bright smile. The smile she always gave to him. Damn you Aizen...! Even after we beat you...still your mind twisted with hers. Now she feels like her body is so weak. He thought to himself, not realizing that Momo touched his hands.
A gasp left his lips, staring at Momo who was full of worry within her chocolate eyes. “Shiro-chan! Why do you look so upset? A-Are you okay?!” Her voice was shouting; this time she got worried about him. “I am fine, Hinamori. However...how are you feeling?” He tried to change the subject so she wouldn’t press on any further.
Shaking her head the brunette noticed, tears fell down both her cheeks. Knowing all along he was still upset at himself----upset that he put his sword through her chest, feeling that anger at Aizen for what he did. Tricking them to the point if Kurosaki’s voice didn’t roar that day....she could have been dead. “Shiro-chan, please...don’t lie and tell me. W-What is bothering you? Could it be about Aizen?” Toshiro’s eyes widen, keeping his voice silent and listened. “OR! Is it...is it...that you feel guilty for....” The memories came back into her mind over hearing his voice call out her name slowly. “When your sword pierced into my chest?” She would finish the question; this would hurt Toshiro to the point he looked away from her. His other hand squeezed into a fist.
“Hinamori...its nothing for you to worry about.” He would tell her softly, Momo came closer to his face which made him back up a bit. “H-Hinamori? Don’t worry I am fine!” He yelled, a light crimson would shade on his cheeks with her getting closer. A soft giggle left her lips, then it burst into full on laughter. Seeing his reaction he may have been hiding it. Momo was no different so she would speak out to him.
“Remember those old days we use to play in the snow, Shiro-chan?” Toshiro white eyebrow would twitch, “You said it again...Hinamori I told you, its HItsugaya-Taichou!” He complained once again, ignoring it as always Hinamori would wait till he answered. Her expression completely changed from before. It is true----she still blames herself. Although the happier memories of their times together brought her joy.
Toshiro relaxes from Momo’s question before; he did have that memory with HInamori. Although it was so long ago, thinking back within his mind he could remember seeing Hinamori’s smiling face. Just like now----she was happy.
His other hand released the squeeze into a fist, feeling now Hinamori let his other hand go, in that attempt he would let her hand go as giving her the choice to grab it again. His cheeks still blushing red, Why did he remember it? Why is it that her every action...cause him to feel embarrassed around her? It is true...he did have feelings for her. Knowing Hinamori’s feelings was one sided.
Speaking again the brunette thought about the past, it was quite a fond experience. Knowing this past memory it was not the only memory. Together they would compete against one another. Who could build the fastest snowman?
Memory of the flashback started when they were little children, both were very young around the age five. Dressed in their little kimono’s, wearing pants underneath since they were short, along with gloves and boots. Momo’s kimono was a light yellow, with pink flowers on her kimono while Toshiro’s was green. He was rolling the snow into a big round shape. Next to him, Hinamori was doing the same----her ball was getting bigger by the second.
“Now...you two don’t play too long I made you some hot warm tea.” The elderly woman being the GrandMother who watched over the two of them, spoke slowly but, gently. Turning their small bodies around, they both said in unison. ‘Okay!’
“I won’t lose to you, Shiro-chan!” Momo yelled with confidence, right back at her Toshiro spoke. “I won’t either, bed-wetter, Hinamori.” He teased knowing she was embarrassed by such a title. Cheeks puffed out, rolling her snowball out of his little comment. This meant war! Momo rolling her ball, until it got big enough in moving to get another ball rolling for the middle section. Toshiro had moved at a fast pace, both of them rolling their snowballs until their speed was too fast in running into each other.
Snow went flying everywhere, the snowballs they did create caused Hinamori’s body to be covered in it. Alarmed Toshiro rushed over to Hinamori, digging her body out of the snow where he had some of the white snow in his hair and on his body. Quickly he was able to find her, seeing her body was shivering from all the cold snow. It didn’t bother him at the least----yet knowing her thin, frail body it was bothering her.
“Grandma! Hinamori...she’s..freezing!” He yelled at his Grandma, alerting her when she already prepared a hot warm bath for them both. Picking up Hinamori in his arms, he would run over to step inside the shack. Seeing there was a warm bath already for them.
“Go on ahead, Toshiro. You may join Hinamori in a bath together.” Toshiro’s Grandma spoke when Toshiro looked at Hinamori with a sigh, he would get help from his Grandma to take a bath with HInamori. Being like close friends---it did bother him that he took a bath since Hinamori was smiling in her sleep.
How did that happen? He almost lost Hinamori there...although how did she roll the snowball in the wrong direction? Did she lose focus? Well...he was glad HInamori is alright. A small smile appeared on his facial expression, looking at Hinamori who woke up with a smile on her face. “Shiro-chan, let’s do that again! I had so much fun today.” She said with a cheerful voice. “Absolutely not!!” He yelled with concern. She almost well, only a few inches of snow on her. If it was like a tall snow falling on her...there no way he could have dig her out.
“Shiro-chan, please! I promise to be careful next time..I just got carried away is all.” She mumbled softly, looking like a child who got her toy taken away. Hinamori’s cheeks would puff out, in return he felt bad for saying no. It was Hinamori’s face that made him have to say yes.
“F-Fine! If you hurt yourself again...I will have no choice but to rescue you!” His finger pointed at HInamori, seeing her smile was brightening up the room. His cheeks shade dark red, as they took the bath. It was warm, very soothing and he helped wash Hinamori’s hair. Slowly thinking about what he could do to protect her. Hoping she doesn’t have another nightmare like before.
What can he do to keep her from being scared? This made him wonder if this snowman they could do together instead of competing. Not that he minds of course. It just----he wants to do something that make her happy.
They took their bath together, Grandma found some towels so she helped dry both of their bodies off carefully before getting the two of them to have some soup she made. Knowing they couldn’t taste it---however it felt like they were a family even though they aren’t related.
After dinner the soup was so good that the two of them felt tired; after the long day of playing in the snow. Having a competetion along with taking a bath. The next day Toshiro had asked Hinamori to help him make a snowman. She accepted with no regrets. Both of them laughing; creating something together that was a perfect snowman.
“Look, Shiro-chan!! Look at it the snowman we should name it.” Hinamori cheerfully said, pointing at the snowman they both made. Toshiro rubbed the back of his head. “Why do we have to? I should just call it snowman.” He said, his usual cold tone. Shaking her head, she though to call it ‘Lil Shiro’ so she made him hair hair and his same eyes. “I shall call it Lil’ Shiro!” Momo said out loud, making Toshiro embarrassed over the fact she said that.
Watching Hinamori right now, he could feel his heart racing a bit. The bright smile she showed; her breathing normal and not crying like those nights when she wake up in the middle of the night. A nightmare---he was glad to see this smile. The smile he adored, the smile he always will want to see. Never again wanting to see her cry or in pain. Even being hurt by him or by Aizen. None of that! He will protect her and will do absolutely everything to end that pain!
The flashback memory was fading away as Momo and Toshiro remembered together. Keeping them both silent during the time, although Hinamori did bring it up.
“Why did you bring that up, Hinamori? Would it be because of the snow?” His eyes shifted up to the window, seeing the snow has not stopped falling onto the ground. Looking at the window as well, her eyes were full of warmth, seeing the snow it did bring her back to those days they played in the snow. “I...did remember it before you came in but, I just had..other thoughts.”
Turning her head slightly, looking at Toshiro in his eyes she wanted to say something. Say the words she never could when they were alone or at least----after the last time they saw each other. Knowing she had pain in her life due to someone using her as a tool. That is why she will never let that happen again. Even so, her feelings, her thoughts. The happiness she felt was with Toshiro. He was the one who gave her life and gave her meaning so she had to say it.
“Thank you, Shiro-chan! Thank you for always believing in me after all that happened. I feel like I am lucky to have you...I am sorry for everything! I am sorry for hurting you and hurting all those around me. I-I just...” Hinamori broke down in tears, flooding tears falling down her cheeks. Trying to stop it, her hands would raise to her face. “I...I...!”
Watching her break down in tears, he could not take this! Hinamori don’t you realize how much you mean to me? I never blamed you for anything...all this fault pinned on you is not what you should be thinking! Baka... Toshiro was thinking inside his head over how he felt. Knowing that everything she done isn’t wrong. That is why he cared for her so much...
Suddenly his arms would wrap around Hinamori’s body, hearing Hinamori stopped crying he would gently sit on the bed with her. His arms wrapped around her back, slowly putting his hands up against her back. His hands rubbed up and down her back, trying to calm her down from the tears from falling. Hinamori was in shock due to the embrace, not expecting it her only thought is to grab onto the back of his haori. Tears were falling down her cheeks, hearing her sobbing for so long that Toshiro just did what he could and it was minutes later she stopped crying.
“T-Thank you...Shiro-chan. I am sorry I cried like that...I don’t know what came over me.” Her words were slow, yet she was just happy that Toshiro was here to let her cry out those tears. This has happened before when they were younger. Crying her eyes out about a nightmare. He just listened and rubbed her back like before. This time he did it out of concern for her to hold everything back. This time-----he will not let her blame herself.
“Hinamori...stop blaming yourself..I never blamed you and I won’t ever blame you! Do you understand? I will not let anything bad happen to you, nor will I let someone hurt you again! I care about you so much that I will fight for you. Anything in my power---to make you smile again.” His grip on her back was tighter, pulling her small body against his chest gently. In her eyes she could see his pain, the pain of watching her own body fall apart and soul in the deepest part of her.
“Shiro-chan...” The only words she could muster, fingers gripped onto his Haori still holding on with all the strength she had. Toshiro would look her in the eyes, moving his finger gently to wipe her tears away carefully. “Don’t you dare blame yourself, Hinamori..I will not have you think that way. I know it is hard to smile but, I will be by your side. I will not leave..” His head would lightly touch her shoulder, staying there he could feel Hinamori’s heart was racing even more.
It is true she knew it to be true...he never blame her, he always has been someone she cared as Aizen’s love was not real. It was twisted and...how much she wanted to say this. It was her feelings for him that----she will say it now.
“Shiro-chan, can you look at me?” Hinamori was calming down with his words; when he lifted his head slowly. Teal eyes full of worry, seeing Hinamori’s strong-willed expression he had looked shocked. In those strong expression, seeing her cheeks blush red. “Shiro-chan...I...” Her words would pause, expression would turn to a soft-happy smile.
“Shiro-chan, I love you~ I love you so much...thank you for looking after me..I am so thankful to have you in my life. You are the one who always stayed by my side. The one I want...to be by your side as well. I will trust in you and, do not worry. I am fine now because of you.” Her words were shocking Toshiro he never thought to hear these words. His cheeks shade a darker crimson color; releasing his hold on Hinamori.
Holding her hands together with his, they both would stare into each other eyes before he gave her the best answer she could receive. His lips slowly press against her gently. Both of them shocked, Hinamori lips returned after a few seconds passed. Their lips gently pressed against each other with accepting their feelings that been held back for so long. Pulling away from Hinamori’s lips, his hands still holding onto hers in a gentle hold. Hinamori was staring at Toshiro, her cheeks full crimson and feeling her heart was at peace. Someone---actually showed her the love she did want with Aizen. But now---it was with someone who was there always.
“I love you too, Hinamori...”
He says with compassion, they remained in that room with holding hands with one another. Hinamori smile was cheerful, still holding onto his hands. Only to turn to sit on the edge of the bed while watching the snow fall. Remembering all their moments up to this point. It was a new turn, a new page. Their love----will always shine and their bond will never break. No matter what comes between them. Forever----they will be together.
