a little thing on how people view success and self image
i think sometimes when we see people become super successful there can be a tendency for others to envy and be jealous of that person, which can cause them to come up with reasons as to why someone may not deserve their success.
it’s these negative feelings of bitterness and the mentality that “that should be me” “why isn’t this me” “i deserve for this to be me succeeding; not them.” and then the final question: “is it because there’s something wrong with me or something that i lack? or because i’m not worthy?”
and then the perfect defense mechanism: “no, it’s because there’s something wrong with them.” people subconsciously make the decision that the only way they can truly feel “good” about themselves and where they are right now is to put other (successful) people down and put them into a “bad” category. so that they can feel equal, if not superior, to people who they perceive to have “unjustly” and “unfairly” gained more than them. whether it be through cyberbullying them, shittalking them, or participating in witch hunts just so that they can feel justified and valid when that gets you absolutely nowhere and creates no positive change for anyone. and putting someone into a “bad” category is so unrepresentative and inaccurate of the human condition. there’s a lot more to people than what people can choose to nitpick at.
but i know what it’s like to feel envious of other people’s success. as a human being, the feeling comes up from time to time. but through experience i’ve learned that being bitter and resenting people because they’re successful and i’m not yet (yet, that’s a key word here) only provides a short term feeling of self-validation, but in perspective doesn’t provide long term happiness, or improves your own quality of life. and it doesn’t advance you on your own path to success. that has to come from you and what you do.
being inspired by other people who have succeeded and moved up to a place you’d like to be some day is good, but resenting them and expending your energy hating them will not make you a happier person or bring you personally any closer to achieving the success you think you deserve.
success comes when you stop comparing yourself to others, and you focus on what you can bring to the table. and it goes both ways. it doesn’t help to look at someone and feel bad about yourself because they’re at a “better place” than you are in life, just as it doesn’t help to demonize and degrade a person so you feel a little better about yourself and where you are because at least “you’re not as bad as them.” no. that ability to actually like yourself and be successful needs to come from you. and envying and hating someone else will not get the job done for you.
