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Tuesday's Fact Free Conspiracy Theory
The reason schools and businesses close when there is snow is not because transportation is difficult or dangerous. It's because snow lulls the buildings to sleep and no one wants to wake them up.
They get… grumpy.
Random info about my WIP
Sometimes you know where a story is going to go. Other times, you sit down to brainstorm about the motivations of your bad guys and finish with your hero orchestrating her own kidnapping.
She’s now done with being kidnapped and I’m trying to figure out what comes next.
Random line from this WIP:
“I don’t have patience for this. Either let me go or give me a reason to stab you.” That’s my hero, Ladies and Gentleman.
Tuesday's Fact Free Conspiracy Theory (on a Wednesday)
All humans are born with the inherent ability to control the weather. This ability is completely lost the first time the baby cries. The doctors know this, which is why they always make the baby cry right away.
Tuesday's Fact-Free Conspiracy Theory
The real reason we have school is to mentally train us for work. The real reason we have work is to get us out of the house so the powers that be can sneak in and steal your food, mess up your settings, and take naps on your furniture.
Friday's Future Glimpse
These are excerpts from my current Work In Progress (WIP). Written this week. Work is currently titled: Out With A Bang. Not from the same chapter.
Security had been stepped up. The Duvalls hired night security that patrolled regularly, and Kevin had shown her the cameras that were now mounted on some of the lamp posts in the parking lot. They were also debating putting in a few more lamps in the parking lot.
Beth and Jessica had a long talk about installing cameras inside the cabin, with security and safety weighed against loss of privacy, the possibility of them being hacked, etc. Eventually they added a camera to the patio door but decided against cameras inside. And as a plus, now they occasionally got video footage of animals walking around. Rabbits were the most common, but there had been deer a couple times, and Jessica was certain that there was a fox hanging around just out of camera range.
Under potentials were two other unique entries and one that had two. One for gloves, one for shawl, and two for slippers. "Yeah, I got nothing," Beth admitted looking over the options.
"Me neither." Jessica rubbed at her forehead. "Do we start asking people?"
"Ask them what? 'Hey, we found a notebook that we believe belonged to a blackmailer. Your name was in it. Want to tell us why you were being blackmailed? We promise not to pick up where she left off.' I'm sure that will go over super well. I'm not even sure I want to know why Mrs. Busey is on this list. Do you?" She had been the one for gloves.
Jessica made a face. "Yeah, that might not be the best way to go. But I'm sure they would appreciate being questioned by the police even less."
Tuesday's Fact-Free Conspiracy Theory
No, I haven't given up on these.
The reason why car engines are measured in horsepower is because there are tiny horses living in your engine. They run on specially constructed hamster wheels. Premium gasoline provides carrots and sugar cubes for them. That's why it's more expensive.
Epic Fantasy Excerpt
So here is a sample from the novel I am asking people to help me name:
As one of the king’s scholars, Lakara knew the history of the kingdom better than she knew her name but she had never seen the throne room. Nor had she seen the previous one, which King Zikkar had considered too small and converted into a ballroom.
The new throne room was twice the size of the old one, with more than a ton of gold molded onto the walls, studded with jewels that gleamed and sparkled in the torchlight. Eighteen columns of ivory, bedecked by silver, lined the path, one pair for each of the gods. The room even had carpet! With silk from Salardis, costing over ten thousand gold doruts. The dais itself and the runner leading up to it were pure silk, while the rest of the room had silk mixed with the finest wool. But the jewel of the room was the throne itself. Even for the room, it was massive. Solid gold, with silk cushions. An intricate unicorn, one hoof pressed onto the head of a pack lizard, stood engraved in the back of the chair, able to be seen even with the king seated. The entire room had caused taxes to be doubled for ten years to pay for it all. The throne alone took two years of taxes. It was a marvel.
Like the messenger, Lakara made sure not to stand on the runner. That was for nobles, ambassadors, and the like. Always aware of palace hierarchy, the extravagant finery made her feel very self-conscious, perhaps more than was warranted. After all, didn’t she wear the red and blue robes of the king’s scholars? She even had the silver embroidery that only the adepts could wear. That put her higher than the attendants, equal to most of the magicians, and just below the lower-ranked nobles. Still not high enough to dare step foot on that carpet.
“The scholar, Lakara,” the messenger announced with a bow, before stepping away, leaving her face-to-face with her king for the very first time. Lakara struck a deep bow and said nothing.
“You, Scholar! Tell me what you know of the Jewel of Ishni.”
Lakara racked her brain for everything she knew of the legend. “A somewhat obscure story in our histories. It was claimed, hundreds of years ago, that the Jewel of Ishni was a bauble that possessed no power of its own, yet was so coveted by many of the gods, that the All-Knowing, All-Father, took the jewel and hid it somewhere that only a mortal could go. It is rumored that even the other gods do not know where it is. AKAF gave each of them a clue to incorporate into one of their temples. Legend has it that if a mortal were to find the gem, he could probably trade it to the god of his choice for, well, almost anything.”
“Could you find these clues?”
“Well, it would be a matter of comparing records to figure out which temples the clues were supposedly in…” Lakara stared into space as she pondered it. “It should be possible. Though many have tried in the past and fai—”
“Excellent.” King Zikkar pointed to a table in the corner. “That is all the information we have on the Jewel of Ishni. Start going through it and figure out which temples the clues are in.”
“Y…yes, your Majesty.” Lakara bowed deeply and scurried over to the table, not daring to ask why she was supposed to be going through the various scrolls, tomes, and books in the king’s throne room instead of in the nice, quiet library.
“Call in Sir Jors,” The king ordered.
It wasn’t a name she knew, though ‘Sir’ implied either a knight or one of the lower-ranked nobles. Nor was that her immediate concern. Taking one of the pieces of paper she had been given for notes, Lakara quickly made a list of what characteristics the temples’ hiding clues should have.
Each of the gods had many temples, some had a temple or shrine in every city. But each of the gods also had major temples. However, what counted as a major temple varied over the centuries. Since the clues, if they existed, were given centuries ago, the temples would have to be ancient ones.
Her attention was diverted as a new person, presumably Sir Jors, arrived. A knight wearing leather armor approached the dais, also not walking on the runner, clasped his fist to his chest, and knelt before the king. His shield had the crest of the kingdom on it, indicating at least ten years of service; but neither his blond hair nor beard appeared touched by gray. The armor was probably a family heirloom, in the same style used in the Wars which ended over a hundred years ago.
Lakara noticed these things then went back to cross-referencing if the legend had first been written down four or five hundred years ago. It would make a difference as to which temples were possibilities.
“Excellent. Sir Jors, I have a special task for you.”
“Sire, I live to serve.”
“I know you do. Have you heard of the Jewel of Ishni?”
Lakara had been trying to ignore them, but this caught her attention. Perhaps this would explain what she was doing here and why the king was interested.
“I am familiar––”
“Excellent. This scholar here,” King Zikkar turned to her.
“Um, Lakara, Sire.”
“Yes, her.” He turned his attention back to Sir Jors, “is an expert on the jewel. I’m sending an expedition. You will be in charge of making sure everyone gets there and back safely.”
“Expedition, your Majesty?” The knight asked, voice thick with trepidation. Lakara didn’t think she could speak at all. Expert? She wasn’t an expert in this. No one was. Oh, she had hand-copied at least two of these books, but that didn’t make her an expert. Did he really expect her to figure out which temples the clues were in, something that had been debated for centuries, in one afternoon?
“To find the jewel, of course,” King Zikkar said, as if it were obvious.
Utter silence. The dungeons held several who had forgotten that King Zikkar did not tolerate criticism. He continued, “If you succeed, you will be inducted into the Order of Paladins. Now, go to the armory and make preparations for, oh, four or five. I’ll have them sent to you when they are ready.”
Help name a novel!
What should I call my new epic fantasy? Story includes some twists on old tropes, humor, found family, and an impossible quest to find the Jewel of Ishni.
The Quest for the Jewel
The Jewel of Ishni
The Quest for the Jewel of Ishni
Companions on the Road
Questing to Destruction
The Impossible Quest
A Journey of a Hundred Miles Begins with Dreams of Homicide
Those Who Go
We Go On
A Scholar, A Knight, A Necromancer, and A Thief Walk Into ...
I don't like any of these (Other)
