I’ve probably shared this one before. It’s one I come back to every so often.
I’ve spent a lot of time in my life missing people, missing the past. I can remember a lot of summers, a lot of winters and the exact moments of sitting in the cold, the snow, the rain, the night, or watching the sunrise and wishing I was in another place or time.
I’ve been in a strange headspace that I have no real reason for being in and it would be extremely difficult to express, so I don’t, and when I really think about it, all of it, all together, it’s suffocating.
Maybe I didn’t care for living with other people, but hell, maybe I needed it. I really can’t tell which is worse, and apparently I am not a good judge of what I need. I just feel more lonely than ever right now, and like I can’t talk about any of what I’ve been feeling. I miss so many things tonight, and I kind of wish I was standing outside mom’s house with my sisters as they tell ridiculous stories about their lives and I didn’t feel so incredibly distant from everyone I know, not just the people I left across the country.
