Got told by a good guy friend of mine that I have big dick energy and it made me realize that I haven't bee recognizing who I truly am. I've lost sight of myself. I just got out of a mentally and verbally abusive relationship I really lost sight of the fact that I am the fucking shit. I am amazing. I am worthy. I bring a lot to the table. I am beautiful. I am pure. I am special. I have my own mind. I know how to make my own, healthy decisions. I am creative. I am strong. I am confident.
I am myself at all times because I have no reason to mask myself. I am beautiful in my most raw and purest form and I know it. I don't need to compensate with other things because I am beautiful exactly the way I am. Exactly the way I wake up in the morning. And it's a shame that for the entirety of my 20s men have been nothing but intimidated by that.
Clearly I have been letting in the wrong men into my life. I want a man that recognizes how great I am and knows exactly what to do with that. A man who is on the same level as me he would not even be capable of feeling intimidated. Would not even feel the need to pull me down. A man who can listen to me, make me feel heard, feel seen, have an honest conversation and does not let his ego get in the way of being the real man I know he can be.
I've been making some really shitty decisions with my choices in men and I don't know why. I have not quite understood yet why I attracted these people but I'm ready to find someone truly compatible with me. Someone who is really worthy of what I bring to the table. I'm fucking amazing. But I'm not for everybody. I'm for one guy. Where ever you are… I'm ready for ya. I'm not perfect. Please be patient with me. Please help me grow and I will help you grow. I know you're out there. I'm not giving up on love. I know you're out there.
