Absolutly No Answers

Diversity committed feminist

[depsidase]

[trigona-necrophaga]

Gideon the Ninth naming system notes appreciation post

[rohirric-hunter]

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

[edgar-allan-possum]

Why is that?

[rohirric-hunter]

Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.

The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.

The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.

The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.

The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.

The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.

The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.

The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.

The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.

[lew-basnight]

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

A story I once heard from a guy who specialised in security testing for IT. They had been hired to test out the security of the company, and one of the things they were testing was whether they could physically get secure data out of the building.

The guy walked in with a trolley with a wobbly wheel, loaded half a dozen computers onto the trolley so that they were unstable, and walked up to the main security door. At which point, the trolley wobbled and there was an avalanche of computers. The security guard helped him load the computers back onto the trolley and then held the door open for him as he walked out with six computers loaded with company secrets.

[ouroborosorder]

honestly I hate “can you pet the dog?!?” not for any of the common reasons but because it was initially interesting as a proposition of “can you interact with the world in a way that is not within the primary mechanical loop” and that very quickly fell away to being “well now any indie developer making a game has to have a pet the dog button or they’re going to get letters”

[ouroborosorder]

One of my dream projects has an NPC with a dog, and if you try to pet it, the owner tells you not to do that. If you try again, it bites you and you take damage. I want to do this entirely because I genuinely believe that this would make me feel way more grounded in the world than any “click button to see cute animation” would ever do, and also it would be really funny to have a game where people lose their runs because they tried to pet a dog they were told not to pet

[catgirldragon]

[sistertaxon]

[discoursedrome]

so "incubus" means someone who lies on top of something, and "succubus" means someone who lies underneath something, and the former also turns up in the word "incubate", which means to lie on top of an egg. To ensure closure we could therefore posit an analogous term "succubate", which would be something like this:

he is succubating.

[official-linguistics-post]

official linguistics post

[coffeepeople]

One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.

[coffeepeople]

Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.

[big-smiling-monkey]

How sweet it is to be with people you enjoy taking care of

[ruderubicante]

A Love for Ignorance

[comikbook]

ngl the most important thing i was taught growing up was that its not enough to just be anti racist but to also be pro black

[comikbook]

hating racists is good ! but if youre only hating the oppressor and not uplifting the oppressed all you are doing is using a performative method to direct your anger at. being angry is good, but its not enough. you have to love too. uplift the ones that should be uplifted. celebrate black art and culture and people. celebrate blackness for the beauty it is

[stjohnstarling]

People on the internet love to criticize work by Some Guy putting stuff up online for free like it's made by Disney Studios, and talk about Disney movies like they're made by their personal friend Amy, who is just trying her best,

[theblackparadeisdead]

The funniest thing the saw franchise ever did was giving jigsaw a bunch of dead wife flashbacks in saw 3 only to have the next movie reveal his wife wasn't even dead she just divorced his ass because he kept building torture traps

[ryebreadgf]

my dad is very intensely involved a battle with his city’s public administration over a playground they have tried to forcibly remove like five times in the past 20 years and DID remove once in like 2005 but then had to rebuild because my dad was such a pain in their asses and came through with undeniable receipts of the zoning plan from the 60s/the historic/cultural value of the urban planning…. like there’s a woman in the city office who is his arch nemesis. he is literally the daredevil of urban planning

[ryebreadgf]

everyone in the tags needs to stop saying they want to fuck my dad.

[shouty-y]

Lesbian knights ⚔️

[splodgepodge]

slimegirls love to say stuff like "gotta buy some more hair gel"

BITCH‼️ your hair IS gel

[cringeunworthy]

I'm gonna get so much mileage out of this one

[redstonedust]

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

[prokopetz]

The real problem with D&D's contemporary culture of play is that it's basically a worse version of what Paranoia was doing forty years ago. It's a faux pas for players to display knowledge of the mechanics and the GM is expected to maintain an elaborate kayfabe where they merely pretend to be moderating a game with rules while actually doing something completely different, and they're not even allowed to kill players with orbital laser strikes for talking back.

[prokopetz]

Like, I'm not keen on any framing of play where the GM is expected to do literally 100% of the work of making the game happen, but it seems to me that if you're going to do that anyway, the GM being both allowed and encouraged to kill you with lasers whenever they want is only fair compensation.

[wizardarchetypes]

it's crazy 2 me that every time i'm like "the existence of bugs is vital to the very fabric of reality as we know it. if we do not prioritize protect & value bugs, if we lose bugs, the entire world goes with them"

people in the comments will be like "okay but we could at least get rid of ticks and mosquitos because those spread disease."

we actually CANNOT get rid of ticks and mosquitos. not only do we plain lack the technology to lead a pointed extermination effort against them specifically without taking a score of other species down with them, but if we developed that technology and did eradicate mosquitos and ticks, it would be the catalyst of utter ecological collapse the likes of which i think people are not quite comprehending.

the problem is not the existence of bugs. the problem is that our current global systems ensure that specific Peoples in specific places are disproportionately impacted by zoonoses (illness spread between animals and humans).

those same populations also disproportionately lack access to preventative tools & PPE (down to things many of us take for granted so simply as effective bug spray), and crucially access to medical treatment.

the goal should not be an eradicating effort against bugs which would quite literally collapse entire ecosystems, but equitable access to healthcare, investment in medical research to improve preventative and acute treatment for zoonoses, and the destruction of systems which are currently rapidly increasing the threat of zoonoses worldwide (climate change!)

i am not defending the existence of bugs because i think they're cute and because i don't care about the devastating suffering zoonoses cause millions and millions of people.

the point is that the eradication of these species would likewise cause devastation and suffering, and the tools, the money, the minds, the research, the science ALL exist to actually change the world for the better through global public health systems, but it's all being strangulated by imperial fucking systems which have been and continue to destroy everything!

[curiousitykilledthe-crow]

I didn't know that! Neat!