What do you think of the people closest to you? Name a few too hahaha
"The first would have to be York. I am not completely sure what I think of him right now, and I do not know if I can consider him close to me in light of recent events, but he is still important to me. Despite his stubbornness and... lack of reason at times.
"Epsilon, of course. He is brilliant, and beautiful, and just... so many things I would never be able to describe. There is no way I could repay what he has given me.
"Darrow. He is... gentle, and sweet, and intelligent. He makes me feel safe, and I care for him deeply.
"Texas is strong in every sense of the word. She was one of the first people who made me feel like I was okay here, and it's good knowing that she has my back."
Epsilon had wanted him to get some rest, but Delta couldn't sleep, not after what had happened. All there would be to greet him would be nightmares, probably about York, and he didn't want to relive that yet. Instead, he was sitting at the head of his bed, leaning back with his eyes closed and earphones on, listening to a recorded lecture on algebraic geometry. His jaw was starting to feel stiff and swollen, and breathing through his nose was less comfortable than it should have been, but at least the pain was gone. The physical pain, at least, but he couldn't do anything about the rest at the moment.
//Possessive thing for DG and Delta. (I know this wouldn't work but I want to see Delta possessive of DG for a change.)
Delta rubbed the back of his hand as he watched DG. They were on one of the rare missions that required them to spend some time somewhere, blend in, work for their objectives more subtly. Delta had been hoping that would mean a chance to get more time with DG, maybe be normal for a bit, and so far things had been pretty good.
But DG had been talking to this girl for almost twenty minutes, and Delta knew how to read body language well enough to know the kind of intentions she had, and while DG didn't seem to be reciprocating her interest he also hadn't come back yet, and Delta was starting to feel annoyed. Maybe even a little jealous. He didn't consider himself a resentful person--better to learn than to dwell on the things that went wrong--but it was the only word he could think of for what he was feeling.
The emotion simmered as Delta dwelt on it. It was irrational, in a few days they would be on the Mother of Invention and he knew that DG loved him, but he couldn't shake the feeling, the anger that this girl was trying to take something that was his. Something he already feared he would lose, that he already felt he didn't deserve. He sat there for several more minutes before standing up and walking over to them, resting his hand lightly on DG's shoulder and giving the girl a flat-expressioned nod of greeting.
"Darrow," he said softly, turning his head towards the taller agent, "We should get going."
[So.... Kara and I were plotting in Skype last night and... this happened.]
Delta was half-asleep when the thought crossed his mind, and he propped himself up as he repeated it internally. He was always more nervous at night, when his thoughts could wander undirected and
“D?” Digamma asked in a tired voice, the light from his artificial eye reflecting off of the real one.
“What will happen to us if we ever leave?”
Darrow sat up, and the two men looked at each other through the low light.
“We will still be together,” he said, resting his hand on top of Delta’s. “I promise. And if we are separated, I promise to find you.”
Delta leaned forward, resting his head on Darrow’s shoulder.
“I want you to promise me the same thing,” Darrow said.
“I promise,” Delta echoed, wrapping his arms around Darrow and laying back down.
///
Delta read over the message one last time, tears stinging his eyes as his finger hovered over the send button. What he was doing… he didn’t have a choice, and all he could hope was that Darrow would understand.
///
Delta had been drifting in and out of consciousness since the building collapsed. He was sure the others were dead. Wash, Maine, Sigma and the other Specialists… if they weren’t, they would be soon, like him. He didn’t have the strength to get out from under the rubble, and if he did he wouldn’t have any means of getting to safety.
This was it, then. He hadn’t been able to save York, and now he was never going to find Darrow again.
He heard something that sounded like talking, and opened his mouth, forcing out a weak moan. It was probably an enemy, but at least they would shoot him, instead of the slow, hazy death he faced otherwise. The voices continued, and the weight of concrete slabs and steel was lifted off of him. His chest ached as he was able to take a full breath, even if it was stifling and stale. He felt his helmet being removed and cool, smooth metal against his cheek, and he opened his eyes.
His dry lips parted as he looked up at Darrow with blurred vision.
“"D, I know I'm a little late but... I'm here now. I kept my promise. You're safe."
Delta tried to reply, but he couldn’t force his vocal chords to work. He mouthed the words he had been wanting to say again for so long, the words he hadn’t said often enough when he should have.
I love you.
Darrow leaned down, resting his visor against Delta’s forehead for a long moment before wrapping his arms around him and lifting him out of the rubble before Delta blacked out again.
///
Darrow was always at Delta’s side when he woke up, telling him to eat, feeding him when he couldn’t feed himself, and Delta didn’t have the strength to struggle.
///
He didn’t want Darrow to see him the weak. He didn’t want to be a burden. Mostly, he didn’t want Darrow to realize it was too much, or that things had changed, and leave.
///
When he did protest, Darrow kissed the top of his head.
"All those times you helped take care of me. Just this once, let me take care of you."
Delta shook his head because it hurt to talk much.
"Or I'll start calling you Delta again."
Delta frowned and let Darrow help him eat.
///
Dallas would stop by to make sure they had when they needed and remind Darrow to take care of himself. Delta didn’t have the energy and usually pretended to sleep, but he felt like this meant Darrow really did mean to stay.
///
Delta woke up to find Darrow laying on the bed beside him fully clothed, as if he had collapsed there. Delta slowly crawled over to him, wrapping a thin arm around him.
When he woke up, Delta told him he needed to start taking care of himself too. Darrow resisted.
Delta admitted that he needed Darrow, that he couldn’t take care of himself.
He refused to eat unless Darrow ate at the same time.
He asked him to come to bed at night, and slept better when he did.
///
Delta was sitting up more, talking more.
He began to worry that Darrow would leave once he was better, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to plant an idea that might not be there yet.
///
Delta pulled himself out of bed, feeling lightheaded and dizzy until he adjusted. He shuffled into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Darrow from behind, nuzzling into the back of his neck.
///
Delta was having a bad day, a day he was too tired to get out of bed, a day that he felt like he is never going to really get better. Darrow brought him breakfast in bed, and Delta said he needed to ask him something.
And he asked if he still planned on keeping his promise.
And Darrow said he would never break it. That he wouldn’t have kept searching for him if he didn’t intend to stay.
And Delta held onto him with all the strength in his body.
///
Delta was having a good day, a day he felt strong, a day that reminded him he was going to get through this. He tried to help with what he could and made Darrow rest with him when he got tired again.
///
When he was stable on his feet Delta said he wanted to start training again.
They argued about how hard he should work. Delta usually gave in because he didn’t like fighting over it.
///
Delta pushed himself until he was sick and fell asleep on the couch so he wouldn’t have to watch Darrow worry over him.
///
Darrow told Delta how he felt when he came back, but not for him.
And Delta told him why he did it, and apologizes.
And they both hurt, but they knew they had each other.
And Delta finally felt like things really were going to be okay.
///
Delta was half-asleep and called Darrow Sweetheart. He’d been saying it in his head for a while.
///
Delta called Darrow Sweetheart, with a nervous, shy smile that turned into a grin when Darrow smiled back.
///
Delta leaned against Darrow, looking down at their hands as he played with his fingers.
And he asked, softly, not raising his eyes, what he thought about actually being a family, and it’s something that he never thought much about but once he did he wanted it more than almost anything.
And Darrow just kissed him, and Delta wrapped his arms around him and buried his head in his shoulder.
///
Delta said he didn’t want a proper wedding, because too many of the people he would want there were gone. Darrow said that they could have a small one, with Dallas as one of the witnesses, and was about to say with York as the other when he realizes his mistake.
And Delta went silent, and Darrow apologized over and over.
And Delta went into their study and curled up in the chair as tears ran down his face, and Darrow came in and wrapped his arms around Delta and held him and said he was sorry again and again and again, and Delta leaned into him, because even after all this time it still hurts.
And after a little while he apologized for ruining the moment, and Darrow smiled and kissed him and told him they were even.
[So I've been musing a lot lately about D's relationships so I thought I'd share some of my thoughts on how he relates to them]
[adventures in multishipping]
[also disclaimer that these are my interpretations and my rp partners are free to disagree or add anything they want]
Rho [agentindieandrho/agent-rho]
Delta/Rho will always hold a special place in my heart, because it was the first ship I ever wrote with Delta and the only one I ever wrote with AI Delta. And as an AI, Delta was completely fascinated by her. She was his beautiful enigma, and there was very little he wanted more than just being near her and experiencing all the wonderful and strange things she offered.
As humans, Delta and Rho's relationship is a little different, and is the closest thing I have to what most people would consider a normal romantic relationship. Delta comes to it from a more complex place emotionally. He loves her, but less openly or passionately than she loves him, and he's very conscious of their differences and worries that he's being unfair to her. He worries that she'll leave him, or that she'll stay even if she's not as happy as she could be. He worries about doing something one or both of them will regret, so he doesn't take risks. He wants so badly to be the partner that she wants, that would be most compatible with her, that would make her as happy as she possibly could be, and doesn't really understand why she loves him, let alone why she stays with him.
We haven't RPed much post-project, but after all they got through apart when they get back together there's a combination of joy/relief at one good thing coming back to them, but also a lot of uncertainty because they're not really the same people they were.
Doc [omalleys-little-plaything]
I think this is the simplest of the ships I write with Delta. Both of them came into the relationship after a lot of pain, heartache, and uncertainty, and their relationship made them feel good and safe, and gave them someone to lean on when things weren't easy. There wasn't a lot of complicated romance, and at this point Delta had grown out of questioning himself the way he did in a lot of relationships that happened earlier in their timelines.
Digamma [honour-laden-code]
As most people in our skype group know, this ship is the root of all my pain.
In a lot of ways, this is the most compatible of the ships I write. Delta and Rho come from very different places emotionally, and while ultimately it's good for them, it isn't always easy. Delta and Doc have an easy relationship from that standpoint, but they both have a lot of demons in their pasts that keep things from ever going smoothly.
Delta and DG come to the relationship with similar energy levels. DG is a little more conscious of his emotions and generally seems to be more willing to take risks, while Delta says things the way they are and keeps them from hiding too much. Delta feels less pressured physically then he does with Rho, which makes him feel more secure in their relationship. Somehow having a relationship where things pretty much go right and both of the people in it are happy most of the time means it absolutely kills me emotionally.
We haven't really written post-project other than a drabble or two [and ooc plotting], but I imagine they would fall right back into the ease and sense of security they had when they were younger.
CT [agent-connecticut]
This is the least romantic of my ships, in a lot of ways. They have a very strong mutual understanding of each other, and they don't expect much. They enjoy each other's company and contact, though the extent of that is usually holding hands while they talk or laying against each other while they work or read. In a lot of ways it's skimming the line between a friendship and a romantic relationship, but from their perspectives it's very significant. I think each of them feels like the other is one of the few trustworthy, rational things is their life at the time, which makes it so, so painful when things go wrong in pretty much every version of everything ever. Case in point.
