Not You Again
Tags: Hoseok X Reader, Fantasy AU, Bandit Hoseok x Wizard, Tavern Owner Reader. No pronouns used for Reader. Unresolved sexual tension. A/N: Hey y'all. I'll make it it quick, this was a fever dream brought on last night by a tiktok post. You heard me right. I might make a second part to this (with, hear me out, sex pollen), buuuut it spawned into existence so catastrophically I cant promise anything. I hope you enjoy this piece of "JHope is a Little Shit" as much as I did. Love you.
"Not you again." You nearly roll your eyes at the scene in front of you. The young man chuckles, sitting at your chair, in your office, in your tavern. He even has the gall to have kicked his feet up your accountancy desk.
"Is what a way to greet an old friend?" You snorts, dropping your apron on a nearby chair, staying close to the walls. You never know what this bandit is planning in his head. "Old? Assuredly. Friend? Aren't you going too far, now, Jung?" His last name only makes his smile shine darker under the office's run-down halo. 'C'mon, Wizard. We lived through a lot together." "By your own damn fault that's for sure." You lean against your closet. "What do you want this time, thief? Heroes, a hand, money?"
"Oh, darling, you wound me." He finally moves his feet away from your desk, before getting up from the chair with a little jump, and approaching you slowly, in his typical cat-like manner. "You know you're worth more to me than just a handful of money." Something shines at the edge of your vision, something he catches single-handedly, without even looking at it.
A golden coin. One with an eerie glow you can recognize anywhere. "Where the fuck did you get that?" His eyes stay on your face, observing your reaction. "it's a gift," he whispers, "from a client." "So now you got clients who casually own a Merlin coin? Do you even know how much that is worth on the magic market?" "I got an idea, and that is exactly why I need you." His smile falters a little bit. "What possibly could you need me for?" In the years you have unfortunately known Jung Hoseok, you have rarely seen his face go grim. As much as his looks, his charm and his skills have allowed him to progress to one of the most infamous and hired thief of this side of the country, you know his hunger for challenge can sometime end him in heists bigger than he can take. And a heist involving one of the most precious tools of magical power with a client he keeps being mysterious about? It ticks for you that Jung probably bit bigger than he can chew on. "I need information. Information that is hard to find, about people even harder to steal from." "You're going to have to give me more than that." His face goes serious. " I accepted a trade. My client," he spins the coin in the air again, "holds very close to his heart his collection of magical artefacts. Those coins? They mean nothing to him." Your face makes an impossibly confused expression. Those coins are a major source of conflicts between magical families. Royal families own at most a few dozens, and keep them in the trust of royal magicians and healers. Merlinic Wizards keep their coins strictly in their bloodline, and occasionally produce them for the cost of a mid sized diamond. Most of the magical world have only seen them in museums, and havent held anything stronger than a magical crystal if their work didnt warrant it.
"What does he want." Hoseok does not answer, just keep spinning the coin mindlessly. "Hoseok, tell me what he wants." "Before I do, you have to promise me you trust me." "You're worrying me." "I know, but please, Wizard, promise me." You hold up a pinky, the universal sign of honesty, and he binds yours to his as a small magical binding known as a promise.
"At first, he only said he needed a vial of an ingredient for a potion. I thought he was one of those crazy alchemists, he would asked for a gold elixir or something. The usual expensive, hard to find bullshit that is heavily guarded enough people would rather pay a professional so if he fails, they can disappear." "It was not just an elixir, was it?" "No," he sighs. He catches the coin mid-flight. "He want a vial of fae blood." Your blood runs cold. "Fae bl-. No. You can't. It will kill you." Fae are incredibly hard to kill, and they do not have humans, magical or not, in their hearts. Plus, any of their body parts, including their blood, allow the holder to put the fae under a spell for virtually forever, to the extent most fae, even when they need to extract their own blood for magical reasons, usually severely curse the vial in ways that would atrociously kill even a skilled witch. You do not want to think about what such a curse could do to poor, reckless, can barely perform intermediate magic Jung Hoseok. "Actually no, my uh- client, made sure of it." He takes out of his pocket a small claw with runes carved onto it, attached to a necklace. You snatch it out of his hands, or moreso, he lets you snatch it out of his hands. You let your fingers runs on the carvings, reading the runes and sigils carefully, admiring the handiwork. A weird smell emanates from the claw so you bring it to your nose. Rotten egg and cinder. Dragon Sulfur. "Is that also directly from your client's collection?" "From himself, in fact." You close your eyes in frustration. A dragon, of course. Only a dragon would seek a full collection of magical artefacts and have both enough desire and the resources to risk sending a very famous thief to anger the faeries.
"Why did you…?" "Ah, wrong question. You're not going to like the answer to that one." "Blood contract?" "No! Dear gods, no. I'm not that stupid." He leans back down against your desk, the dragon claw back in his hands. "Debatable." "Not the point. Let's say it's huh- a favor." You sigh,"did you lose a gamble at Kelly's again?" "You have no proof." "Whatever. We both know my mead is better anyway." He snorts, but doesn't say anything, a knowing sparkle in his eye. "What do you need to know?" "Actually, I need your entire knowledge about the fae realm. I'm not personally going there," he says, as he sees your eyes becoming wider. "My client already has a target. An old fae who lives east. He established a small domain near the Orion Falls. Strong enough to deter most humans, still permeable to dragonic magic."
"You have no idea how to undo a magic-based magic system, do you?" He smiles, almost sheepish, "touché."
"When are you set to go?"
"In two days, before the first light of morning." "It will be a dark moon…" you whisper to yourself, pacing away from the closet, your mind running thinking about the types of magic this kind of heist will require. "How much did he offer for this?" He suddenly chirps up again. "My weight in Merlin coins." You stop in your tracks. "Im sorry?" "You have heard." He sits back down in your chair, the coin twirling between his knuckles. "I saw it, with my own two eyes. dig my hands through it. All real. My full weight in Merlin coins." "It can't be. Must have been a glamour." "Nope, we both drank a truth potion before the deal. I asked explicitly." "Are you-" "I also made him admit he wanted to bang the royal concubine's older sister, so I'm sure he was telling the truth."
The concubine older sister being known to have a pretty fiery character, you don't doubt even the dragon blushed at the admission.
"I'm going to be honest with you, Bandit. This is going to cost you a pretty penny. Everyone knows the surface stuff, but people rarely try to trick the fae. You're going to need a good number of magical tools just to enter the domain safely, not even talking about potentially fooling the fairy or his protections."
"I trust your gadgets, Wiz. Name your price." "A third of your prize." He stops fidgeting with his coin mid-flight, his frown almost comically deep."Excuse me?"
"It's a fairy we are talking about, Hoseok. Not some pixie. If they catch you in your domain, you're either dead or condemned to eternal slavery."
"A fifth." "A third, and i find you a full arsenal and a companion I pay myself." "Is that really necessary?" He tosses the coin again.
"Would you rather walk into a fae's den magic-less and alone?" He catches the coin, looking up at you, grinning like a devil. "Deal." "What is included in the package?" You look up, thinking, counting the spells on your fingers. "A cloacking spell for starters. I'll enchant your tools for good luck. An emergency gift of gab candy. Protection should be covered by the dragon claw, but i'll give you a protection medallion to hide in your clothes just in case." "And for my little companion?" He wiggle his eyebrows. "Do I get blessed with your assistance, like in the good old days?"
You snort. "Hell no, I'm too old for this shit. If you're lucky, I'll find you an assassin. If not, you'll have to do with a random mercenary. Don't tell them about the coins, I'll pay them myself."
The grin hasn't left his face. If anything, it's getting more malicious. "See? It's always a pleasure dealing with you, Wizard. You don't get this kind of customer experience at Kelly's." "So that's all I am to you? Customer experience?" "Of course not. You also got better mead." You stare him down in pretend annoyance, but something old and stubborn blooms again in the secret of your chest.
"Come back tomorrow, an hour before close. I should have had time to work him a little." His smirk shines in the darkness,"do you think I can get a good luck kiss, as well?" You nearly choked on air, and will all of your face muscles into not showing it. "In your dreams, Jung,"he laughs," Now, shoo. I got a cash register to count."
The day after went perfectly normally. You spent the morning making and selling your typical teas and coffees for the early birds. Service got slow at lunch, so you focused on replenishing your stock of spells, and writing down on magical paper all the fresh gossip of the morning.
By late afternoon, the tavern started filling up with its usual set of customers, as your employee clocked in. Adventurers on a quest, mercenaries looking for a job, lost people needing an informant. Min Yoongi tends to come every two or three days, when he's not on a job. He still wears the old robes of the Queen's Guard, without the royal coat of arms. He doesn't drink on weekdays, only orders an apple juice in a whisky tumbler, and listens in. You're almost sad to interrupt his little ritual.
You slide on the seat next to him, and his eyes follow you, almost surprised. "I found a something for you." He quirks his eyebrow, not saying a word. You slide a piece of paper towards him. "Heist. Fae-blood. East. Company of 2. Professional." His eyes take a second to read the paper, then looks up at you, and tilts his head. "I know, it's not much. It's someone I trust though. Wouldn't want him with just anyone." "Him?" He whispers so low, if you weren't looking directly at his face, you would have missed it. Hoseok's reputation is not explicitly tied to your establishment, but he has been around enough for the most observant regulars to notice it.
You nod discreetly. "He knows how to do his job, he just needs… Assistance. For the magical aspects." Yoongi doesn't say anything. He's not rejecting your offer just yet, so there is still hope.
"Stay until I close. We'll discuss it then." Yoongi glances at his watch, before nodding impercetibly, and you go back to your work station.
Hoseok arrives like a flower a few hours later. As per his usual, he charms half of the clientele on his way to the bar, dapping old coworkers, sending out flying kisses and hearts. You notice all of it, and collect the information like a precious nectar. Who swoons, who laughs, who pretends not to send daggers in his back with their eyes. You look at him work his magic of no magic, his art of revealing everyone's secrets in a crowd, secrets ready for you to drink up.
You remember how easy it feels to be on his team, how well your skillsets match, how it makes something warm you don't like naming unfurl in your chest. You try not to let it distract you on the job. "Hey sweetheart," he stands in front of you, leaning forward, his elbow against your side of the bar. "Can i get a spirit of peach in lemonade?" "5 coppers." His eyebrows go up. "Did the prices hike up since last time?" "It's the extra fee for people who dare to call me "sweetheart"." You send him the fakest smile you can muster. He grins, looking for the coins in his pockets. "5 coppers for the bitter wizard, got you." On the corner of your eyes, you notice Yoongi staring at your interaction. You catch his eyes while preparing Hoseok's drink, and Hoseok catches you looking at something behind him. "Ooh!" he leans closer, and whispers. "Have you found someone?" "Wait tonight," you set the drink in front of him without another word, and he hands you the coppers. Something mischievous grows in his eyes as he wraps his lips around the straw, and looks at you with something akin to fascination. You pointedly avoid his stare to keep on working. You dont miss the way no matter who comes up to speak to him, shake his hands, or wrap their arms around him, his eyes always end up coming back to you. By the time you're about to close, you had to cast an icey wind around yourself to prevent your face from getting warm. The last few customers go peacefully, leaving you, the assassin and the bandit to talk. You lock the door, before sitting down at Yoongi's table, Hoseok following you. "Nice to meet you, I'm Jung Hoseok," he holds out his hand. "I know," Yoongi mumbles. "Min Yoongi, assassin," he accepts his hand with a shake. Hoseok whistles, "I didn't know our local tavern owner had their hands in the big leagues." "I thought you were known for having your fingers in their purses?" Yoongi cocks his eyebrow in a way that delights Hoseok.
"I like you, we'll get along well." "Sure. Give me back my watch." The delight in Hoseok's eyes only intensifies as he pulls Yoongi's watch out of seemlingly thin air, the watch that you remember seeing on his arm just a second ago. "Sorry, I had to try it." "Real silver fingers you got here, thief," says Yoongi, tying his watch back onto his wrist, eyeing Hoseok's hand carefully. "So, what is the plan?" He asks. "A single fairy, east, near Orion falls. I need to get a vial of their blood for my client. According to him, he keeps a couple in his vault. Lives alone, nearing old age,"Hoseok explains. "Okay." "Leaving in two nights, before morning. Wizard gives us arsenal." "Cool." "You in?" "If you can afford me, yes." He starts stretching, the way his back archs reminding you of a cat waking up from a nap. "That is what I'll take care of,"you chime in, " what is it you're currently looking for?" "I need a book, something that will make my life much easier." "What kind?" "Sigil magic. Advanced." "Solomonic?" "I was thinking of something more broad." "Let me see what I have in my library." He laughs, "don't give me the easily printed shit okay? I want something you would use." You sigh. "I'll hand copy you the grimoire I found on old Sigillism. If you can't understand it, i'll make you pay extra for every question. Are we clear?" "Deal." "Deal."
Yoongi gives you a rare chuckle. He bow his head at Hoseok, "pleasure meeting you. I'll meet you at the east door after tomorrow." "Sure." Yoongi leaves by the backdoor, without another word. "Damn, where did you find this one?"Hoseok turns towards you. "To be honest, he found me. Popped up one evening looking suspicious as fuck. It took him two weeks and a drinking contest after hours to finally admit he used to be in the Queen's Guard and was looking for a spot to lay low and find jobs. I told him, he could stay on my turf as long as he shares what he knows." Hoseok hums, finishing his last drink of the night. "I see. He's good at reading people too, isn't he?" You nod. "He sees stuff during the rush I don't have time to pay attention to. Helps weed out the nosy." "Do you like him?" The question takes you by surprise, your eyebrows jump out. "He- He looks like good company. Never spoke much though." Your answer does not satisfy the curiosity written all over his face. "That's not what I asked though." "Hey, I'm the information broker here." "How much do I need to pay to get my answer?" You can't miss the obvious interest in his face, and you're really glad the wind spell in still active. "More than you can afford," you grab his glass and head to the bar to avoid him, picking up the glassware left around as you do. He giggles behind you, picking up what you can't hold with your two hands. "C'mon, Wiz. Can't be that high. Unless there's a fee on intimate business?" "There is most definitely a fee on nosy thiefs who break into my office on the regular." He laughs, the full, chest-open laugh he does when he doesn't have to perform charm.
"Tell me. Your price is mine." "Do my dishes faster than I do and I'll think about it." He laughs even harder. He grabs your waist,fingers stable and delicate on your sides, passing behind you in the tight space. He doesn't have to. You know he technically could go behind you without touching you, and usually you would call him out on it. But you missed him, and you missed having a warm body next to you, and- and something deep in your guts warms when you feel his laugh tingle your back. Even your spell can't stop your face from getting warm this time, so you distract yourself. You go find the broom, and the mop, and the rag and you start cleaning the tables and the floors as if your entire vascular system isn't currently betraying you.
By the time you're done being able to pretend, you turn around only to catch Hoseok suddenly looking up, almost embarassed. "So how did the dishes go?" He looks at you again,"been done for a good ten minutes now. Can I have my answer now?" "No. You were slower than me." "WHAT? Lies." You huff. " If I took this long to get dishes done, I'd go broke. Couldn't serve my clients." "You're playing me," he crosses half the room, closer to you. "Not at all." "Yes you are, for some reason you don't want me to know." "I have no idea why you'd think that." His entire demeanor shifts. He goes from the funny, sunshine, playful persona to something darker, deeper, almost predator-like. "Yes, you do, Wizard." He takes a step towards you, slowly, like a cat approaching a bird. "Do you think I'd notice the entire world but you?"
Your heart suddenly hammers in your chest, your throat dries up. He takes another step. He's only one stride away from you now. "Wizard," he tuts, "don't you know by now, that a thief always knows when a lock is latched?" You don't like the way his voice went lower. You don't like the way you have to focus to make sure your hands don't shake. You don't like the way you know he's using all his techniques to pick at the lock at your heart, and you don't like how he's so close to breaking in. "Don't you think it's tempting," he takes one slow step closer, and grabs at your waist again, "for me to sneak my way in?". You blink for a second, to gather your mind.
Your senses feel like they're fired to a 100. You can smell him, grass and something sweet and fruity. You can smell the alchohol on him,and feel his breath against your face. You can feel the way his hands grip at your waist as if he's thinking about the best way to unravel you open. And you're trying to convince yourself, you're trying to convince yourself that he's only playing, that you can still hide how your heartrate speeds, that your hands aren't begging to go around him right this instant. When you open your eyes, you're met with honesty you didn't expect. With Hoseok carefully looking at every micro-expression on your face, every muscle twitch on your body, at the way your chest rises and falls when you breathe hard. With a gentleness in the way he's waiting for your body to answer, even if your mind can't. "Wizard, tell me." You hum, barely keeping yourself together. "If you don't want this, you have to tell me." "I-", nothing comes out but a broken sound. "Darling…" his left hand goes up to the sensitive spot right under your ear, the tip of his finger barely touching the skin, and the finger goes slowly down and down, it brushing your exposed collarbone, then heads towards the open buttons of your shirt, before fiddling with the first closed one. Your hair rises against your skin, and you gasp, grabbing onto his shirt and holding him close. "Darling?"You don't answer. You can't. Not now that you know that he knows that you know. Not now that your heart is about to break open, and he's treating it as if it's business as usual, when for you it's years of keeping your heart safe that are about to go in flames, and that there is nothing you can do anymore to hide it. You want to say something. You want to say how badly you want this, yet how scared you feel. You want to say that you need time, that you can't take him wrecking you open only to leave on another reckless heist, and that you can't risk verything you built just to accompanying him on. You want to push him away and yell at him and grab him by the collar and have him right here on the bar. But all those words and those messy feelings get stuck in your throat, so you swallow back a sob you hope he doesn't hear. Because you don't want him to know how deep within he actually broke in. Yet, still he gets it. He sees you.
And his hands moves from your waist to your back, and your arms snake around his chest, and he holds you close to him without saying anything. You can feel his heartbeat thrums on his neck, where your nose is, you can smell the grass and the fruits off of him. The way his breath turned deep, relaxed against your own chest, the way his lips caress the top of your head, it all feels safe, like when the two of you were young vagabonds looking to make a living, sleeping wherever you can afford to, and protecting each other whenever it was necessary. Not like the way it feels when his eyes sees desires in you you haven't admitted to yourself yet.
He waits until your breathing slows, and you relax in his arms. Yet, he doesn't say a single thing, only pulls away from you to look at your face. "I'm okay. Thank you." It's quiet when he walks with to your office. It's quiet when he finishes closing up while you count your cash of the day. It's quiet when you leave the bar and head home, and you see his shadow follow you to make sure you get there safely. It's quiet, and cold, in your bed, when you realize your fears maybe messed it all up.
You almost expect him there next morning. Hoseok isn't the type to push when you're not feeling well, but he's also not the type to give you space without checking when he knows something is wrong. Your day is filled with small mistakes. Wrong orders, discussions only half-listened to, miscounted coins. At some point, you even wrote down the wrong sigil on an argile tablet. It wouldn't have failed the spell per se, but it would have been an expensive mistake on a medallion or a dragon claw. You focus extra hard on your magic today, making sure Hoseok and Yoongi's magical items will be ready for the early morning. But your night was short, and filled with anxieties and regrets. You know you let the fear get the best out of you. But it's hard, isn't it? Letting yourself be desired, be loved, be wanted without trying for it? Without trading, or overanalyzing, or having to offer anything? You don't doubt Hoseok either. He may be a bandit and a charmer, he doesn't play with people for fun, and out of all the people he has loyalty to, you maybe be the top of the list. Your heart and your body know he can be trusted. It's your brain, that feral demon, who would rather think about any other option than him actually wanting you closer.
The day goes by, and he doesn't show up, and neither does Yoongi. So when the last customer leaves, you take extra time on the back, preparing extra stuff for their journey, before heading for your typical meeting spot.
You got at the fountain early. The night covers the streets like a heavy coat. The air is fresh for a summer night, the sky is cloudless, the wind gentle. In theory, it should be an easy journey for them. You didn't take the time to sleep. Your employee will take the morning shift so you can rest. Dark Moon usually means quiet night anyway.
Hair rises on your skin before you hear him sneak behind you. "Hey, it's me." He whispers. You turn around to greet him. He looks softer, his smile gentle, his eyes checking the details of your face. You smile at him, open, honest. "Hi." You can see how his shoulders relax at your reaction. "So what do you got for me, Wiz?"
You unload your bag from your shoulders before opening it, his eyes run over the different objects. "The fabric bag is a cloaking spell. As you long as you have it near you, he won't be able to magically see you. It's going to protect you on the way there and on your way back, in the case of retaliation. This is the protection medalion, classic. The oil is for blessing your tools, anoint them at midpoint on the road, it should be enough for luck. The gift of the gab candy is here, emergency use only. The small flask is dark moon water, use it on your head and hands, and on Yoongi. It's extra shielding. If you can, don't do the heist on the full moon, it will be less effective." "And what is this?" Hoseok point to a padded side pocket in the inside of the bag.
You delicately open it, revealing a piece of green seaglass that reflects the rainbow. "Enchanted seaglass. I twinned it to mine at the tavern. If you need help, magic, anything, call me. Yoongi is a good practioner, so you might not even need it,but- you never know." You see his face going through different emotions: confusion, curiosity, understanding, wonder. In fact, he looks at you with so much wonder in his eyes, you feel like you might have turned into a star in the sky.
"I didn't know calling you was going to become a possibility again. I'm starting to think you like me or something." "Well, don't get used to it. I can't go around getting you out of trouble for another decade." He laughs, the real one- again.
"Wiz." "Yeah?" "Thank you. For everything." You blink once, then smile. "You still owe me a third of your weight in magic coins, Bandit." "You got it, Wiz." He chuckles. You dont know if it's the fatigue, the magic, or his smile. Maybe it's because even the moon is hiding away tonight, and he's running into danger with full trust in your magical arms, and he looks so handome by starlight. So you make your lips tingle with magic, and lean into him for a kiss.
You feel his surprise on your mouth, but then he moves back, and you swear it feels bigger than just magic in your chest tonight.
Lips dancing against lips, his hands grabbing at your waist, the warmth of his body slowly spreading to yours. When you pull away, you feel dizzy, and he looks dazed. But day doesn't wait, so you pull away to look at him. "Good luck kiss." His dopey grin only grows bigger. "Come back to me alive, Bandit," you kiss him again, "and unharmed." "I didnt feel the magic in this one." "Yes, this one was just for me." He kisses you back.