Aug 17, 2025
so i guess i am the host now ... i dont really feel very different. memories are fuzzy but intact. i cant tell if im acting how i am because im trying to be who are expected to be, or if its because im afraid that who i am is too big for people to accept me, or we have some sort of shell personality thing going on. or im just genuinely like this. i still feel really dissociated all the time. i hope it goes away soon ... kai is staying close to front to help me. it feels almost like there may be another split and thats why things still feel so shakey and uncertain. i hope its not that but its starting to feel like it could be.