#horribly written script

[apollonui]

When I Get Bored I Write Horrible Scripts: "Calling in Sick"

Parent: "I'm sorry, little Timmy can't come to school today."

Office: "Ok. For what reason?"

Parent: "His body is fighting an immunity battle against an unseen adversary."

Office: "...i'm sorry?"

Parent: "He's undergoing microscopic biological warfare against viral forces."

Office: "I'm sorry, I still don't understand."

Parent: "HE'S SICK DAMNIT!! Pfft. Sheesh. You people just want to suck all the excitement out of life don't you?"

[apollonui]

When I Get Bored I Write Horrible Scripts: "The Multicultural Family"

Grandma Dolores: "Little Tommy! Why are you crying dear?"

Little Tommy: "Mommy and daddy are fighting again!"

Grandma Dolores: "What is it about this time?"

Little Tommy: "Daddy says fast food is bad but mommy says we need to eat at both Taco Bell and Panda Express at least once a week to ensure we're participating in positive multiculturalism!"

[apollonui]

When I Get Bored I Write Horrible Scripts: "Guy Dealing With His GF On Her Period"

Guy: "Hey babe! I bought you a yogurt!"

Girl: "Oh thanks babe! I love you!" *takes a bite and hesitates*

"Wait... Is this GREEK yogurt?"

Guy: "...n..no."

Girl: *flies yogurt across the room* "What the &$@*#N HELL!?! Don't you know I only eat GREEK &@%*N YOGURT!?! It has HALF the &*^%#N FAT, ONE %^#*N THIRD the DAMN SUGAR and TWICE the PROTEIN than this #%*N DISGUSTING bowl of %*#^N LARD!!"

Guy: "I also bought you some chocolate...?"

Girl: *starts tearing*

"Oh my God, you know me so well!" *sobs uncontrollably*

"I love you so much babe! I am so BLESSED to have you in my life!"

[apollonui]

When I Get Bored I Write Horrible Scripts: "Dumb Superhero Names"

Man in superhero suit: "My name is Grayson! Grayson Victorino! But the streets know me by another name... GRAY-V!"

Villain in Pink: "That's the dumbest superhero name i've ever heard!"

Gray-V: "Speak for yourself! I know who you really are! TOBY FUKUSHIMA! Or as you like to call yourself... PINK TOFU!"

Pink Tofu: "It's RED TOFU but everyone calls me that because my washing machine FADED my suit!"

Gray-V: "Well then these streets have quite a sense of humor... PINK TOFU!"