Apr 1
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From Showtime boxing with cleavage that can’t be missed: Round Card Girls.
Tinder & Mental Health
This post is gonna be dorky af, but that's why I made a tumblr for this shit in the first place.
I'm a huuuuge advocate of taking care of mental health the same way you would take care of physical health. You would run, lift, and eat well to support your body, but hardly the same kind of emphasis is put on your day to day mental health care.
I'm recovering from OCD and an eating disorder, both of which are anxiety disorders, so I know a few things about taking care of my mental health and recognizing when something is fucking that up and when I need to step back.
A friend got me into Tinder last night. I held off on it cuz I thought a place where dating and getting together was really focused on pictures, I would suck one million dicks at it. I recently had a few good pics of myself, but a good pic of me is rare to come by and I also am not really fun to look at in real life, so I automatically felt like my Tinder profile was a lie. But I went ahead anyway, my friend told me not to take it seriously and I was like "yeah ok swell".
It was fun at first because I was getting like 5 matches in 10 minutes from girls I also thought were cute. I haven't felt a mutual attraction in a long ass time, so it was exciting. Maybe I was too harsh on myself all those years. Well long story short, they were all cam girls or ladies of the night, I found out the next day, so nvm.
I was so excited to be matched with people and it really motivated me to keep going with the app. Soon I found myself swiping right for almost everyone just to see who i'd match with. Once I realized how to identify cam girls and prostitutes, I focused on real people and suddenly there weren't so many matches. Bye bye ego. But it's okay tho, because I am super inexperienced with dating that even this short experience taught me a lot about myself and people.
Cool stuff I learned from Tinder
My friend who is a good looking dude also went through a ton of trouble to even get a message or a date. So I realized I'm not totally awful, it's hard for some good looking dudes to get anything back.
Learning to put myself out there and be okay with fucking up/looking like a loser. I messaged every girl I matched with, and even tho they were not genuine, I felt like they were so even going for it was scary. I came up with some interesting convo starters and even if I couldn't resolved to at least ask what's up. Different for me, and I liked that it helped me not take myself or the outcome too seriously.
It was fun to chill with my friend and bond over tinder, lol.
It's actually harder than I thought to describe myself and who I am. I think I came across better than I hoped, but I definitely think bios are almost useless for getting a good idea of who a person actually is.
Learning not to judge girls so harshly for arbitrary dumb shit (most people are the same and say the same things in their bios) and being more open to hanging out with lots of different types of girls to see what I liked.
Negative stuff I learned from Tinder
It definitely is as superficial as I thought it would be. Not a tall dude, not a lot of great pics of me. Even the ppl just looking for friends didn't get matched up w/ me.
I can be just as superficial so I really can't blame anyone for not swiping right for me.
That little dopamine release I got from getting a match drove me to stay on the app more and more. This actually aggravated my OCD like 10 fold.
Dunno how I would stack up in the real world either. I can make most girls laugh a lot and project myself much better in person, so that's already a huge step above my Tinder experience. So maybe Tinder just focuses too much on the appearance aspect of dating and meeting people.
Felt like a fake. I'm not really in a position to do serious dating as I need to sort out my life. There's also the fact that in an app that's heavily appearance based, I just don't think I stack up. I felt like my profile was the absolute best appearance and that hardly ever happens in real life.
Felt really empty too. Was always looking for that next "hit" and validation by getting a match. It would be nice to get a match, but I had no idea whether I wanted to talk to some people. It felt like nobody actually cared about me, and it sucked that all I really wanted from others was to feel good about myself.
My drive to want matches and just feel happy that girls I thought were cute also thought the same of me too made me waste most of my free time today on Tinder. Checking things is a big compulsive behavior I have so being on Tinder checking matches all day was definitely harshing my vibe. On one hand, I'm really happy to have stepped out of my comfort zone and just messaged people I thought were real. One step toward being more comfortable and confident w/ myself. I'm gonna mess up, so why not fail spectacularly and embrace fully?
I hope it's not just wishful thinking, but I think I come across way better in real life. I know appearances matter, so it bums me that most of my unattractiveness is coming from just being born the way I look as well as conditions outside my control at the moment, but the way I come across in real life with body language, voice tone, humor, personality, having great conversations, and great connections with people I like is so much more fulfilling.
I bet Tinder is fucking awesome if you're hot af. But I accept that I'm not and that's cool too. I'll try and apply my lessons learned to real life regularly and see how that pans out instead.
But if I read the phrase "420 friendly" one more fucking time...
RECAP of my birthday by Chingon Cabron