#hotknees

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Hot Knees #20: On calendars, skies and perma scowls

A couple weeks ago, I went back to my hometown to visit family and celebrate Lunar New Year. Unlike the Gregorian calendar, which follows the phases of the sun, the lunar one follows the moon and is longer. It usually begins in February or late January. I used to think that if the Gregorian year was off to a bad start, there would still be a second chance to start over with the lunar calendar. When I lived in my hometown, I wasn't into running so returning to a place I used to know well and going for runs meant seeing it in a new light. The city layout is quite different from that of Toronto's. It's about the same size but with a much smaller population density. A block in Toronto is brimming with things: people, stores, garbage bins, debris. Running in Toronto (downtown at least) is urban running at its finest. There's plenty of weaving around people, dodging recycling bins left on the curb, side-stepping dog poo and avoiding cars. There is also a lot of stop and go because of traffic and red lights. A block in my sleepier, former city goes on and on with fewer interruptions. It's a landlocked city and the province is known for its vast, expanses of land and crisp air. There are endless skies.The vibrant celestial colours and unique cloud formations are a lustrous contrast to land's earthy browns and yellows. The pace of life is quite different, and it was a calm way to restart a year. 2017 (the Gregorian edition) began in a frenzy. It burst out the gate too quickly and at an unsustainable pace. Many of my conversations with people as of late have been about exhaustion and self-care. Discussions are centred around how to survive, how to continue in light of all the heaviness, and how to stay informed without burning out. We are also talking about how to support each other and be accountable to communities directly affected by trauma and violence. One of the best email subject lines I received recently was "Res(is)ting Bitch Face," which sums up a lot of my existence these days. There is an excess number of things to keep up with: protests, organizing, writing, speaking up, reading, discussing, processing, taking care...the list goes on. There's a perma furrow that's found a home on my face! 

(Sunday self-portrait)

In this interview with writer Jade Chang, her quote about comedy and joy is particularly striking, "...joy itself is a rebellion...living unapologetically is an act of defiance." There's already enough bogging us down and making us feel powerless, inadequate or insignificant that joy can be considered radical. I'll take joy where I can find it and offer it to others when I can. There are no easy solutions, no convenient pills to swallow to make the icky feelings go away. And so, we continue, one foot in front of the other. (Just a note about the newsletter: I know I've been focusing less on running lately. Hot Knees wasn't intended to be solely about running. There are many things that cause these knees to burn. Whether they're lessons learned on the pavement or great writing I've come across, the newsletter is about sharing information and presenting ideas related to culture and writing as well. Don't worry though! Race season is around the corner so we'll be back to the regularly scheduled program soon enough!)

Fuel for the Mind There's the multicultural ideal and then there's reality. What Roxane Gay is reading. Also this speech on the responsibility taken on by people of colour is one of the best I've read in a long, long time. Lessons and observations of the Women's March. The sex worker who opened a retirement home for those in need. Maybe it's time for a media diet. Forget about sex, it's activism that's selling coffee now. The Merriam-Webster Twitter account is so sassy, and this is the person behind it. How Teen Vogue got mad, got woke and got vocal. The artist behind Beyonce's pregnancy photos, aka the dude who broke Instagram. Taylor Swift has built her career on playing the victim. Donald Glover, Renaissance Man. On being black, female and hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Fuel for the Ears Get some cosmic ambiance with SADZIKY's "Arabs in Space" podcast. Once & Future Band's new release is full of expansive guitars and vocals. Bless Lin Manuel; he joined Spotify and created this protest playlist. This music video by Saudi women has gone viral and the outfits are A++. Run the Jewels on Tiny Desk Concerts is a good time, obvs. K'Valentine's love for poetry feeds her hip hop.

I'm not angry, it's just my face.

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Hot Knees #19: Khaki kitties, beige foods and hot fire

What a nutty couple of weeks. With all kinds of crap happening in the personal and political realm, running has taken a backseat. I've been out of town, I started cat-sitting and the flu left me completely wiped out. I feel like we've been on a roller coaster, having climbed the highest point of elevation and this is that brief pause before descending into absolute terror and the unknown. I've also been subsisting mostly on beige-coloured foods lately, which is a weird way to live. I usually eat a lot of vegetables but I've barely had any greens or reds, just off-white starches in the past little while. The only rainbow I've been tasting are Gummy Bears and Skittles. Those don't count. It's a sea of beige and I'm looking for a tropical island. Even the cat who has come into my home is kind of khaki-coloured. I love him to bits, but I hope it's not a sign of the times. Last week was Trump's inauguration and the Women's March in DC as well as dozens of sister marches around the world. I missed the one in town because of the flu and as I laid in bed, I scrolled through everyone's social media posts, it brought up all kinds of complicated feelings. I'm not going to get into it right now but I'm always down to discuss if you're curious. Initially I had feelings of FOMO until a dear friend reminded me that a march is one event and that combating oppression, injustice and inequality is lifelong work. Gathering with hundreds of thousands of other people is powerful. It sends a message about the collective. It lends legitimacy to an action. It sparks dialogue and creates solidarity but it requires going beyond a single occurrence. The heavy lifting involved is not glamorous nor is it easily summed up into a catchy slogan or a snazzy photo opportunity. It takes years of work to illicit any change and even then, there are countless setbacks. I recently bought a deck of tarot cards and a lot of the cards I've been pulling have been wands. They are ruled by the fire element and represent action, forceful energy and transformation. After a slow couple of weeks of incubation and internal reflection, there has finally been a spark of urgency. The heat is building up. Maybe it's just the flu or being housebound. Either way, I have a hunch the year is going to require a lot of us spitting hot fire, over and over again.

Fuel for the mind Some of my favourite running stories feature people who are not typically defined as runners and this piece about Judith shows that you don't have to venture far from the block to be a runner. Beyonce interviews Solange. Hilarious dude Aziz Ansari hosts Saturday Night Live on inauguration weekend. I had Alicia Keys' "This Girl is on Fire" in my head all week and then she dropped it at her speech at the Women's March and I lost it. A brief history of women's protests. Hey, white allies, listen to a black woman. Sigh, the microcosm of white feminism. Black Lives Matter TO reflects on the aftermath, Pride and moving forward. There was once a time we looked forward to dressing our age. What actually matters when NOTHING MATTERS. Racism isn't going to die along with old bigots. This website on shoelaces and the various ways you can tie them blows my mind. It's not fancy but who knew there were so many ways to tie your shoes!

Fuel for the ears Fiona Apple's back and she doesn't want your Tiny Hands anywhere near her. This Kick and Bass Instrumental by Mark Ernestus' Ndagga Rhythm Force is mesmerizing. Sampha's new ode to his childhood piano. Baltimore-based Ami Dang's fusing of ancient Sikh hymns and American dance music results in Bollywave. Honoured to include my homegirl Amz' dope mix, winter blaze to help get you out of that seasonal funk. If you're not sick of me harping on and on about Solange yet, the podcast, Song Exploder, has her deconstructing her song "Cranes in the Sky." It's A+++, especially if you're into the geeky behind-the-scenes stuff.

Burn baby, burn!

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Hot Knees #18: On recovery, resolutions and changes

We made it fam, we survived the holidays. I barely made it out of the flaming dumpster, but here I am: a lil' crispy, a lil' charred, still intact. I've been thinking a lot about healing and the recovery process this week given the recent frenzy of the festive season. Trauma and stress are year-round occurrences but there's something about the holidays that compounds into a ruptured blood vessel of emotions, miscommunication, tricky relationship dynamics and overall tension. It's also time to stop being gross. I'm keeping up with the winter running but December was a battle against gluttony. All that excess boozy booze, buttery pastries and decadence did not help with stress management. January's looking mighty dour in comparison, full of resolutions, good intentions and dowdy salads, but I welcome the temperance. With a crummy end to December, I'm trying to heal and regain strength. I have quite a bit of travel coming up, so now's the best time to rebuild before venturing out into the world again. Being on the mend is a challenging process. For one, it requires a lot of patience. Like grieving, it's completely personal and there is no hard deadline where suddenly one day you're fixed or recovered from whatever ails you. Sometimes all you can do is try to make yourself comfortable with the discomfort and wait it out. The pain ends when it ends; it can be drawn out, other times the recovery is ahead of schedule. It's like a cat. You can't control it. The nice thing about January is that there's some quietude. There tends to be fewer activities, finances and races, so there's time to heal and reassess. It's an incubation period perfect for introspection, reflection and goal-setting. Before training season ramps up (and let's be honest, a whole lot of infuriating world events are in the cards), you can tend to injuries and go to physiotherapy to sort them out. It's a great time to stretch and be gentle with the mind, heart and body. Throw in a lot of self-compassion and nature outings, and it will be balm for the soul. It's going to be a trying month and a demanding year, which is why enjoying those down times is vital. I set a few intentions for 2017 including spend more time at home and wear more colour. I love the athleisure/health goth look but all black gets redundant. I want to Pantone-ize my wardrobe as well as resurrect and perfect the #runbun -- perhaps a Scrunchie purchase may be in my future? Everyone reverts to their teen selves at some point, don't they? I'm also making a few changes to Hot Knees like scaling back frequency and sending out the newsletter every other week. I simply cannot keep up as much as I'd like to and in order to keep putting out work I feel good about, I have to reign it in. Don't fret though. There will also be other additions such as guest writers and more photos! Stay tuned, stay sane and be nice to each other. 

Fuel for the mind This profile on a fruitcake company's mousey accountant has it all: money laundering, embezzlement and so many fruitcake facts. The myth of the bullied nerd is dangerous. Lunar New Year is around the corner, which means a lot of body-shaming around the dinner table. The Nike Project that's trying to reach the sub-two-hour goal in a marathon. Screw mastery. Doesn't octogenarian running wonder Ed Whitlock seem like the nicest man? Starting over in L.A.'s Chinatown. The Indigenous community has questions for Joseph Boyden. On choosing to ignore Casey Affleck's disturbing list of allegations and abuse. Women can't escape the patriarchy and have a right to hate on dudes. On giving up men and staying at home. Is Canada a "postnational" country? Some real things to consider for Canada 150. Leave it to Andrew WK to highlight those "pin pricks of light in a vast sea of darkness." Do this test to find out which No Name product you are (trust me, just do it). There was a time when short stories were used as ads and Murakami wrote them. Ted Chiang's soulful sci-fi. Just eat what you love.

Fuel for the ears German R&B -- Bist du down? I love the frenzied energy and splatter of free jazz sounds of The Cosmic Range. Revisiting some Kool A.D. horoscopes led me to his swag coach/wife/Islamo-futurist/art swami Cult Days and her track Time Away. Set sail to Chillin Island. Ka's Honor Killed the Samurai isn't one of those albums you put on and mindlessly putter about to; you put it on, sit down and pay attention. Tatsuro Yamashita is the James Brown of the early 80s JPop genre. Ed Motta's exclusive City Pop v.2 mixtape is pure funk and smooth groove. Ok, this isn't tuneage but it's music-related: One of the best music interviews from last year is this NPR's Microphone Check conversation with hip hop industry veteran and badass boss, Sophia Chang.

Floating through an ocean of emotion like

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#17: On generosity, the worst years and sunny days again

Last week, I mentioned having little motivation, and this week I find I have little energy as I'm scrambling to finish everything I need to get done. I'm a bit drained of attention, emotional energy and time. On a personal level, I've had a decent 2016 but many of the people around me are going through some heavy stuff, so I've been trying to support them to the best of my ability. On top of that, what's happening in the world lately has taken a toll. There's always some big world event or catastrophe around the holidays and 2016 has been no different with this week already full of tragic news from around the globe. In an effort to not be completely be consumed by grief or immobilized by fear (and to avoid throwing more fuel into the dumpster fire of 2016), I've been reminding myself that this year is not the worst ever. No year is the worst ever. Worse things have happened and even more atrocious things have yet to come. We also have plenty to celebrate and be grateful for. Humans have a tendency to ruminate more on negative events, and bad impressions leave more of an impact than positive ones, so it's no wonder that we seem to only remember the bombings, shootings, attacks and deaths of the year. I came across this piece by Jia Tolentino about how this year was the worst ever, that is until next year rolls around. She writes, "Perhaps 2016 feels so terrible partly because so many of us felt like we'd come so far." She worries about how news is delivered through social media, channels that are supposed to connect us but have instead spawned fear and alienation through the relentless emotional bombardment. That kind of aggressive and intimate delivery is bound to be taxing on us. She continues that, "Hope is elusive, but it will return eventually," and I'd like to cling to that sentiment heading into 2017. This is the last newsletter of the year, and I have some changes planned for next year, so stay tuned. Until then, I'm delighted to end on a cheery note. We're about to nosedive into winter, but it also means that after tomorrow's solstice, the days will slowly get longer again! This month's interview is courtesy of entrepreneur, father and all-around-good-vibes dude, Adrian Fenty, who has one of the warmest smiles around. Born and raised in Toronto, the 35-year-old recently completed Run for Change, a cross-province run designed to spark "collective conversation around creating positive movements" in response to challenges people face. Starting off in at Toronto's City Hall, Adrian ran to Parliament Hill in Ottawa over nine days, encouraging others to join him for stretches along the way. Run for Change isn't about a single issue and Adrian was motivated to create awareness around cancer as well as to speak up about the social injustices and violence that has happened in the U.S. as well as Toronto this year. "Run for Change can stand for whatever you want it to be," he says. [It's about] improving yourself so each day you can get up and try to do better than yesterday." Adrian got into running about six years ago, through the encouragement of a friend who was a marathoner. He grew up playing basketball but after losing his father to cancer, he decided to try running and found it was a good outlet for his grief. "I started doing 1k, and I remember how it was such a struggle." But he kept at it and eventually signed up for a 10k race in Yorkville (an area in Toronto). "After that race, I caught a bug and continued", running his first marathon in 2013 in New York. He cites Terry Fox (and even mentions Forrest Gump!) as inspiration for Run the Change. "I saw the action of someone taking the courageous step to sacrifice their body and time to get people involved and aware." He wants to move others to make positive change and to get others to consider that normal everyday folks can make a difference as much as a celebrity. "You don't have to be a superstar or athlete or artist. Everyone always thinks those are the only ways you can change the world but a normal individual like myself can take it upon [themselves to create change]." Toronto to Ottawa is over 450 kilometres and he worked with a coach to get ready. His training regimen had him running morning distances of 20-25km, then after a full day at work, he would come home and do another 15-25km run. "I knew it was going to be nine days in a row of 50-plus kilometres, so it was really intense--it's crazy what the body can do once it gets accustomed to all the training," he says. Adrian enlisted the help of his dear friend Kiana, who drove the car behind him and provided support along the way. "When I had this idea in my mind [I was] thinking about who was going to come on this journey with me, who was not going to get bored driving at eight miles an hour," laughs a grateful Adrian. Kiana played a key role along the way. "She was always smiling when I look[ed] at the car, looking out for me with lights, had the drinks and snacks ready." Not only was the experience life-changing for Adrian, he says it changed Kiana too. She didn't know how to swim before but always wanted to learn and since returning has been learning. He also made sure the two enjoyed themselves especially since people don't show the fun side of running enough, being too focused on chip times and pace. "We gotta have fun with this because you don't want to put this thing on that looks daunting and that only elite people can do. Everyday we got up, did a little prayer, were thankful, listened to some music to start the day and ran." The planned route was along Kingston Road, starting from Toronto's Queen Street up to Scarborough and then hitting towns like Ajax, Newcastle, Bowmanville, Belleville, Napanee, Kingston, Brockville, and Kemptville along the way. He was blown away by people's hospitality, opening their doors and inviting them in for meals and offering them a place to crash. He chuckles about an incident in Port Hope when he posted a photo of a burger joint on his Instagram. A friend recognized the place and messaged him. "He was like, 'Hey, is that Olympus Burger? I'm 10 minutes from there!'" Adrian and Kiana were able to connect with his friend and stay with him and his family. People not only opened their wallets, they offered their homes as well. "Each day was filled with such new experiences and meeting new people, and you just felt the generosity of human beings." They also had luck on their side with no mishaps--the car didn't break down and there were no accidents or injuries. Even the weather cooperated. Other than a couple days of rain, it was mostly dry. The day after Adrian reached Ottawa, there was a snowstorm. People often ask me what I think about when I'm running, so naturally I asked Adrian what he thought about since he ran the equivalent of approximately 10 marathons in nine days. That's a lot of time on the road and a lot of time for reflection. "Honestly some days I just ran. It sounds silly but you don't think about other things," he says. There were days where he was exhausted but he just put one foot in front of the other. "It's one step after another and you get to your destination." Whether it was through brands offering gels and gear, encouragement from the Parkdale Roadrunners and the Toronto running community or strangers offering up their couches, Adrian is thankful for all the support he received, both in real life and through social media. "[That's something that's] different from Terry Fox's time. He was out there on his own unless he was doing a news conference." Adrian was able to connect with people and let friends and family follow along the way using social media. Adrian is planning to do another Run for Change event next year, working with the Terry Fox Foundation. They also plan to work with school boards--during his run several schools wrote him letters with messages of encouragement and inspiration from the students--to elicit change and positivity in others. To donate to Run for Change, check out their GoFundMe page. Their website Runforchange.ca should be up in the new year.

Fuel for the mind Yeezy's been cozying up with Trump and this essay from 2013 speculates on his motives. Stuffed animals are getting softer and here's why. This profile of Barack Obama by Ta-Nehisi Coates had me crying on several occasions and is an excellent analysis of his rise and legacy. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm obsessed with seltzer/fizzy water. Anyway, there's an episode of Gastropod that is dedicated to the history and appeal of seltzer. Was Tilda Swinton's "conversation" with Margaret Cho about the erasure of Asian-Americans from Hollywood films just white guilt seeking to be absolved? Jay Caspian Kang's open letter to fellow minority journalists. Running as the thinking person's sport and as therapy.

Fuel for the ears I've fallen into a music video rabbit hole this week. Seth Scriver's new video for New Fries' "JZ III" is a visual treat! The loose narrative behind Mndsn's new album Body Wash is a man who washes in a special body wash, and as he soaks and sinks deeper into the thick lather, he finds himself transported to an alternate dimension. Dance around to "One Last Time" by Evan Gordon featuring LCON. Never forget that "Truth is the Freshest Fruit." Enter a dream world with the sparkly sounds of Maylee Todd's "Homegurl." A lil' novelty rockabilly from 1959. Phèdre's ZASTROSZY is a fun and neurotic time and the music vid is chock full of cool costumes, spacey hairdos and twinkling lights. As is "World Gong Crazy" by Han Han with DATU and HATAW. There's so much to take in and celebrate in DJ Shub's "Indomintable" video featuring Northern Cree Singers.

Sweet fancy Moses, another year gone by! So long 2016!

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Hot Knees #16: On motivation (or the lack thereof)

"Writing is hard. Much harder than running. Most days I'd rather run than write." -- Jamie Quatro, author of "I Want to Show You More." Those words ring particularly true lately. I've been pretty distracted and unmotivated to do anything other than sew, eat potato chips and go for short runs, so this week's newsletter is looking a bit gaunt. I can only partially blame it on winter lethargy; my lack of motivation rides in tandem with the dwindling hours of sunlight. However, weather is only so much of an excuse. With all the good cheer, holiday social obligations, merrymaking and buttery pastries, this time of year can be overwhelming. It's hard to say yes to celery when there's a shortbread cookie on offer. As schedules fill up, there's less time for reflection and observation, which are necessary for creative output. On good days, writing is invigorating and satisfying. On bad days, when it can't be put off any longer, it becomes a despised chore. Whenever I feel languid and unmotivated, I let myself have a day or two (sometimes several) to embrace the inner sloth, spend too much time on Instagram and not do anything "productive" (whatever that means.) I know it'll only last a few days before I get bored and need to get myself going again, but I'm also trying to be okay with that incubation period where not a lot happens. A friend suggested making lists and getting organized during those stretches. Sometimes that works. Other times, I just feel anxious that I'm not crossing anything off the list as items on it grow. In these days of lean brain power, I try to squirrel away sources of inspiration, hoping that they'll kick-start my mind and get ideas flowing. I stumbled upon this profile of runner and author Jamie Quatro, where I pulled the above quote from. The piece looks at the art and craft of writing, how running and absorbing the environment can help unlock creativity while also exploring elements of grief and death. It's a nice reminder to go outside and step away from the keyboard. I also find podcasts useful for getting inspired. This Runner's World podcast and interview with the Mayor of Running, Bart Yasso, looks at how the sport has changed in the last 40 years, from women's participation to technology and more. It's always interesting to reflect on how much has changed and how time has passed especially when you feel like nothing is moving and you're impatient for things to shift.

Fuel for the mind The problem with Trevor Noah. Tomi Lahren is awful but her looks allow her to get away with it. 85-year-old marathoner Ed Whitlock on his longevity. Lanni Marchant on the double standard and sexism in running. Stuck in the honeymoon suite for all eternity. 90s rappers and how they helped to bring awareness about AIDS/HIV. A photojournalist covers Duerte's brutal antidrug campaign in the Philippines. (Warning: really graphic photos). Syrians in Aleppo are posting their final goodbyes online. The Ghost Ship tragedy and the importance of such spaces. Confessions of an Instagram influencer. Master Ayub has been teaching kids in Pakistan to read for over 30 years.

Fuel for the ears Forget about Hot Cheetos and Takis, these kids want broccoli and urban farming! Say hello to Say Goodbye by Hiroshi Satoh. Throwing in some summer nostalgia with the Beach Boys. Chi-town's prodigal daughter Noname and her excellent Telephone. A new Century Egg track has been released! Throwing in some K-Rap from Simon Dominic for good measure (thanks Simon!

)Congrats to all the homies who got into the 2017 Chicago marathon!

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Hot Knees #15: On brain gels and writing

This week's newsletter is a tad slim namely because I spent most of last week submerged/drowning in a project. I didn't do much else in order to make the deadline but that meant everything else suffered especially running and sleeping. Normally I have decent time management but procrastination is a real problem with writing. Apparently I never learn. Every time it's a mad scramble to finish, it's almost as if I need the pressure. I seem to forget the heightened levels of stress and loss of sleep, hair and sanity. Yet I do it EVERY SINGLE DAMN TIME. All this to say I'm spent. It's like running a marathon; all this work and then a ludicrous dash at the end to push through. My body aches. I poured all of myself into writing last week. In addition to depleting myself physically, I've used up all my brain juice. Putting thoughts into a coherent order is taxing especially if you're juggling facts, statistics, interviews, quotes, ego and insecurities. It's a fruit salad up there and today it feels like a smoothie. Writing can be a thankless task and only the most self-abhorring individuals take it on. (How else are you supposed to have that same level of outward scrutiny and criticism if you don't practice on yourself first?) Mercifully this project is done and as I await the round of edits to come my way, I'll try to relax and roll my tired muscles out. I have it on good authority that the way to soothe tired brain muscles is an alcoholic balm. Copious amounts of it. In lieu of a more substantial essay, here is Trevor Noah interviewing conservative pundit and millennial Tomi Lahren. It's a skillful interview and interesting to watch him dissect Tomi's reasoning. Just make sure to monitor your blood pressure as the segment goes on. And if that's not your cup of tea, here's a donkey race in Jamaica. And one in Italy.

Fuel for the mind These hands feed us. "I fear conflict more than I desire happiness." It's the last episode of Colour Code but that doesn't mean the conversation about race in Canada ends. JT considers what a newspaperless future. This essay on shifting from realism to moralist reasoning in the era of Trump. The media's dilemma on covering or not covering Melania's fashion choices for the next eight years. "You don't have to like me. You just have to believe I'm a human being." I really enjoy this column on running with a donkey, because really, why wouldn't you run with one? The NASA mathematician who advanced human rights in the 1960s. Trevor Noah on the danger of being divided. 

Fuel for the ears Casey Mecija's new video is a snapshot of her family life. Revisiting some Tenderness. Getting low with some new OG Melody. Not only is Luke Doucet a talented songwriter and musician, he's also a speedy marathoner. The Weeknd to remind you of the past weekend. Run the Jewels' Legend Has It has dropped! There's a new J. Cole album coming but it doesn't include this track. The Hamilton Mixtape is stocked with all kinds of goodness. Space out with Carl Didur. Questlove said this about the new Childish Gambino album, Awaken, My Love!, "Dude I'm so fucked up right now. I can't even form the proper hyperbolic sentence to explain to D'angelo why I woke him up at 4am to listen to this." 'NUFF SAID.

Time to get cozy y'all

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Hot Knees #14: On representation, Asian parents and Insta-blogging

This month's interview is courtesy of Thi Minh Huyen Nguyen, and at 24, she's the youngest member of New York's Black Roses running collective. We chatted about running, visibility and writing over mugs of tea and steaming plates of momos. She joined Black Roses in 2014 after meeting one of the members at a shoe store and repped them this year when she completed her first marathon in New York. When she's not running, which is rare, she's a writer, avid reader, Insta-essayist and works as a studio manager at District Vision. (They make pretty fly eyewear for runners, by the way). After suffering a stress fracture last year, Huyen had to postpone running New York and rehabilitate herself, which made this year's race all that more significant. Prior to injury, she was overtraining; some days she was running doubles (running in the morning and then track at night) and pushing herself too hard. The injury forced her to put things into perspective, recalibrate and ease up on the self-inflicted pressure. "Everyone on my team is 10 years older. I'm not supposed to run crazy [distances] like 75 miles per week." She's learned to run less and stay active through other means like biking and yoga. The New York Marathon is one of the toughest World Marathon Majors and the course is dotted with hills. When I asked her how her first marathon went, she chuckled and started listing the hills. "It's like at some point, maybe mile 20, there's a hill. Mile 23, another hill. The finish is on a fucking hill!" she says. Huyen laughs easily and has a charming accent. "Dope" is a favourite adjective and litters the conversation. She grew up in Germany, an hour outside of Frankfurt, to Vietnamese parents who came to the country as refugees. We muse about our Asian parents and their muted responses to our running. [Cue Parents Just Don't Understand.] (For the record, my mom told me not to run so much, so I obviously didn't heed her advice.) Huyen's parents also don't understand the weight of running in her life and asked her why she ran so much especially after her fracture. She contrasts her folks' response to the one her Muslim teammate Aisha received. Upon learning that Aisha qualified for Boston when she ran the Philly Marathon, her father texted: "You are the ONLY one in generations in our entire family who has reached this milestone." "My parents never sent me a message like this," says Huyen. "I talked to my dad before the race and he was like, ok get some rest." Still, she may have had an influence on her folks after all. She grins as she tells me her mom started going for runs in Germany wearing her old running shoes. The conversation eventually turns to representation and visibility in the sport. After the statistics for the NYC Marathon came out, she realized the weight of her accomplishment. "Only 3.5 per cent who ran New York are under 25. It has so much more meaning than simply chasing your goal time. Being out there, showing up, taking pictures, posting on social media, showing the world we did it...it's less about our time and more about us being out there." She says after the U.S. election results, everyone felt deflated. Depleted and dispirited, Aisha questioned the importance of running--in the midst of protests and rallies, running a marathon felt selfish. Huyen told her, "Just do it. You're going to be standing at the starting line, and there's going to be no one who looks like you. It's about representation [of] women and women of colour." There are times when she doesn't feel like racing either but she runs anyway because visibility and inspiring others are important. "Let me just be out there and show other people of colour that they can do it too.” If you follow Huyen’s Instagram, you'll notice she loves long captions. She used to have a blog but Instagram is now her preferred platform. "I draft on my commute and as soon as I get out of the subway, I can publish [it]." It's a quick and easy microblog, allowing for rapid-fire glimpses into her life, which very often involves friends, running and books. (If you’re looking for creative inspiration and motivation, she highly recommends the Miles Davis autobiography.) As we wrap up our chat, she ends with a simple sentiment: “Running makes me happy.” Hey, me too! (Huyen ran the NYC Marathon and raised funds on behalf of the Girls Gotta Run Foundation, a non-profit that invests in girls who use running and education to empower themselves and their communities. Even though the marathon is over, there's still time to donate, so if you want to contribute, you can do so here.

Fuel for the mind Carding is about control, not safety. I keep going back to the Roxane Gay episode (the day after the U.S. election results) on the Politically Re-Active podcast. "Everyone else is turned into caricatures and props." How to stay sane while black. It has little to do with education and more to do with prejudice. Call it what it is. This column on rehabilitating and running with a donkey, slays me. Indonesia is waking up. What other artists can learn from the cast of Hamilton.

Fuel for the ears Reading about brujas this week led me to Azizaa's "Black Magic Woman." The new Childish Gambino album, Awaken My Love! drops next week. Brandy slays at the Soul Train Awards (and even brings back Ma$e!) Seu Jorge's The Life Aquatic Studio Sessions is excellent writing music. Lee Moses is excellent writing-break music. So is "I Wanna Be Down." New trippy music video from Tasseomancy and genius Jesi Jordan. New New Fries! Cool it down with Takeoh Onuki.

2016 is almost over!

[yo-mk]

Hot Knees #13: The $1,400 race

Running a marathon is expensive! In terms of coin and time, it can be all-consuming. I started running mainly because it was cheap exercise and stress relief. All you need are running shoes and clothes and you can lace up and step out. You don't need equipment or a gym membership. However, once you try racing and getting into all the technical gear and stuff, the dollars and cents add up. While I was training for my marathon, I thought a lot about how much I was spending but regret not keeping a meticulous account of my budget. I recently stumbled upon this article by Jen A. Miller, where she breaks down how much 18 weeks of training cost her. She calculates that she spent $1,600 on the New Jersey Marathon earlier this year! That's in US dollars too! Feeling inspired by Jen, I broke down my own costs from the summer; not into the exact amounts, more of a guesstimation. It was interesting to consider what I spent on the various categories. I know I'm lucky and coming from a place of privilege where I can afford to spend money on running. I have benefits at work, which covered some health expenses and I generally try to not excessively purchase stuff in general, so this translates over to exercise as well. I also made a conscious decision to allot funds to running instead of other hobbies or entertainment during the 15 weeks I was training. Please feel free to share your thoughts with me. I'm curious as what other people spend their hard-earned cheddar on. Race Fee: The marathon I ran cost $97.75. Race fees are generally not cheap. This particular marathon's fees ranged from $70-$150. It also depends on when you sign up. The earlier, the cheaper the fee. There are other ways to get discounts, say through a run club or if you run it on behalf of a charity, and you raise the amount of the race fee, the charity will usually waive it for you. I fundraised and got a discount through the charity, then donated my fee to them instead of having it waived. Gear: I don't have an exact cost of how much I spent on gear since I started out with the basics and was lucky enough to score a handful running shirts, singlets, hoodies and jackets plus a bunch of socks from a generous soul who gifted them to me. I also got some second-hand gear including a running belt and a great singlet from a friend for free during his purge. During training, I did purchase two pairs of runners, a couple of sports bras and a few more singlets. My biggest splurge was a sport watch, which I purchased second-hand for $200 (it was a great deal since they usually retail for about $500). I consider it an investment since I wear it outside of running and plan to use it for years to come. If I had to estimate, I'd say my gear grand total was around $700. Instruction and cross-training: I'm a fan of cross-training since it helps with overall run performance. I also think it's important to make sure you stretch and keep a strong core as it will help you run faster, stronger and aid in recovery. I'm pretty bad about stretching and strength-training on my own so I knew taking a class was necessary to keep me accountable. For the marathon, I trained with people and a free program put on by a local cross-fit gym plus my crew for social time and to maintain motivation. I loved running with the same group of people and comparing notes each week. I also took two pilates classes, which were expensive but they were specifically geared for runners so I found it quite useful. I can definitely say it helped me improve and get stronger as a runner. The classes were $169.50 each, including tax, so I spent $339 in total. Besides the classes, I read a lot about racing and talked to other runners about their strategies. I'm a huge fan of the public library and took a lot of reading material out from my local branch, which meant I was able to learn a lot for free. Food: This might be the trickiest one to estimate because I didn't keep records of how much I was spending on groceries and eating out. Initially, I was ravenous all the time, and I know my groceries bill went up. Eventually my appetite sorted itself out, but I did find that I was eating out more simply because I was spending less time cooking and more time running. Plus at the end of a long run, I needed to eat right away instead of waiting to go home to make something so I ended up having more meals out. I also had the occasional post-run beer but it balanced out (or I spent even less) since my alcohol consumption went down during training. If I had to guess, I would say I probably spent an extra $125. Fuel, gels and salt pills: Also tricky, since I didn't keep track of how much I spent on gels but apparently I have expensive taste. I've mentioned Endurance Tap before, as it's my favourite fuel, but it is pricey compared to other gels. They're $3.25 a pop (or 6 for $18). A friend (hi Steph!) hooked us up with a discount on a bulk order but they're certainly not cheap. I consider it worth it since it's the most palatable gel I've tried. I have no idea how many I consumed during training, all I know is, it was a lot. Aside from Endurance Tap, I also had a bunch of the chewable fuels, which weren't as costly but also not as effective. I also bought a couple tubes of Nuun electrolyte replacement tablets and shared a bottle of salt pills with some friends so that was about $25 all in. I'm going to say about $108 in total. Laundry: This was one area where I didn't spend that much more. I don't have ensuite laundry so I have to haul all my dirty apparel to a laundromat. I ended up hand-washing a lot of my running gear at home and hang-drying so cost for extra laundry was negligible. I might have spent a smidge more on laundry detergent so I would guess an extra $12. Massages/Physiotherapy/Rehab: I ended up getting two massages during my training to help with my left hip and to ease my anxiety. I'm also lucky in that my work covers massages so I only paid a portion of the actual cost. Again, I consider them valuable since they helped with the aches and my massage therapist even taught me a few hip openers and stretches to prevent injury, which I still do at home. That was about $45 for the two massages. Intermediate races: Another cost to consider are the shorter races during training (as a speed and psychological check up). I didn't do any intermediate races so spent zero dollars there. Lodging/Transportation: Since I ran a hometown marathon and biked everywhere, I didn't spend anything on accommodation. This won't be the case in the future. I have dreams of racing in other countries! Post-race celebrations: I consider myself lucky that my run crew threw us a huge pizza party with beer to celebrate and friends took me out for drinks in the days following the marathon so I barely spent anything on partying. There you have it, approximate grand total: $1,426.75 for my first marathon. It's comparable to Jen A. Miller's estimate. This amount is strictly the financial cost and doesn't even include all the time spent sweating and training. It seems like a huge amount for one activity, and there are areas I could have cut down on (namely gear and food) but it's a formula that can be tweaked. Would I do it again? Absolutely! It was worth it since all that running helped me focus, made me a better, more motivated and happier person and I formed some solid friendships from it.

Fuel for the mind Sixteen writers on Trump's America. Have we learned nothing from the internment of the Japanese? The modern tale of moral rhinocertis as it pertains to the US election. The glass ceiling was not shattered. What whiteness means in this era. The 2017 Boston Marathon marks the 50th anniversary of Katherine Switzer's iconic debut. The patron saint of millennial heart break, Rupi Kaur. Running with donkeys! Going grey in LA and what it's like to live in LA's Chinatown. 

Fuel for the ears This week on Solange Watch (j/k, j/k) is an oldie and a goodie. Her cover of the Dirty Projectors' "Stillness is a Move" takes an already great song and elevates it. Turns out the Beastie Boys' rowdy, party hip hop pairs very well with the synth-y electro sounds of French band Daft Punk on Daft Science. Pure 🔥 ! Childish Gambino released this funkadelic track, "Me and Your Mama." Why don't we hear more about The Welders? Seriously 2016, what are you doing to us? Miss Sharon Jones forever. It is the year of Anderson .Paak though. 

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