SilverFlint 5
send me a ship and one of these and i’ll write a mini fic
5. SilverFlint: things you didn’t say at allhello angst and heart-break
A drop ofsweat ran down his neck, sliding over his overheated skin to die on hiscollarbone. It was hot. Drenching, suffocating hot. Yet, all in him was frozen.From his fingertips to his toes, John felt cold, numb and empty.
Fliesbuzzed around his head. As if he was already dead. It felt like dying, to watchthe man retreat. His eyes followed the broad back, clothed in white. James didn’thave to mourn anymore. He could wear white again. Join the daylight. Leave him,for good. His throat constricted.
It hadtaken over a week to reach Savannah. One full week in which John had tried tofind the right words. To explain why he did what he had done. To explain why ithad been necessary. To explain what he felt.
I love you.
Threesimple words. Words he hadn’t said, because his voice had failed him. A man whocouldn’t stop talking had lost his voice. Too broken to admit what really haddriven him, John felt like he had failed James all over again. He should havesaid it. Should have told James that his death would have killed him.
I can’t live without you.
It was toolate. James was walking away from him, defeated at his hands. There had beenone split moment between them, back on Skeleton Island, when James had loweredhis head and accepted his fate, John had wanted to spill it. To lay all hisfeelings bare before him. Nothing had come out of his mouth.
You’re well-being is more important than myhappiness.
In anotherlife, under different circumstances, John knew, they could have been happy.Maybe even with Thomas by their side. In another place and time there wouldhave been space enough for their love. How John wished he were born under adifferent star. In a different world. Somewhere where he was free to love.
All thatremained, here, now, was James’ retreating frame, the heat of Savannah and hishaunting memories that soon would turn to ghosts. Something in him broke, whenthe gates closed and shut him out. Gone! James was gone and it was his ownfault.
Anotherdrop rolled down his cheek, his chin, to drop on his collarbone. Die under thesuffocating Savannah sun. This time it was a tear. One tear, and another one. Aflood opened to wash him away.
Maybe withtwo healthy legs, and less pain from the past, he would have been able to standup from where he sat on this simple wagon, run after him and be able toexplain. Crush into the broad back, kiss the freckles on James’ neck and sobinto his back that he wouldn’t let him go. That if James needed Thomas to live,John would gladly follow and start to worship this unknown man. Be James’shadow, even if it meant to not be able to touch, but be close.
With twohealthy legs, maybe… but it wasn’t the case. John had lost his ability to chasedreams. All he did was stumble and fall. Another tear fell from his chin,clashed with the dusty ground.
There is always a way was a lie.
KillingCaptain Flint had also meant killing John Silver. Returning James McGraw hadalso risen Long John Silver. Thankfully, John had lost his ability to tell thisparticular tale. It meant James McGraw could live the rest of his life inpeace, even if John himself couldn’t.