~ my little creative drabble for the prompt "How Things Changed" (pre- vs post- plague) over on @vesuviaweekly! Hope you guys like this little hurt/comfort/fluffy train of thought :3 ~
Julian doesn't shout in his sleep anymore. He still gets nightmares, still tosses and turns and mumbles and wakes up with a start in a cold sweat - but his troubled murmurs don't turn into the terrified cries that they used to. He's still working on eating better and sleeping longer and it's taking time. But from the moment you first lay down next to him for the night, some part of his brain understood that the warm, safe weight of you meant he didn't need to scream to be heard anymore - or helped.
Asra rarely makes tea anymore. They still love to drink it - multiple times a day, if they can - but now you're the one who makes it. He never got over his childhood wariness of tea kettles in general after the mishap that involved his magic appearing. While you were recovering, it was one of many duties they happily shouldered to take care of you. Now that you're equal partners again, it's one of the many small ways he's begun letting you take care of him in turn. Besides, yours tastes better.
Nadia doesn't run away to her tower anymore. She still visits it frequently, to think, or nap, or clear her head, or give her introverted nature a break from the constant social pressures of being Countess. But she doesn't run away to it, to sit in the circular chamber and pretend (or hope) that the rest of the world had simply ... ceased to exist. She doesn't like the thought of losing a world that has you in it. Now, her visits range from serene to tumultuous, but they all carry hope and purpose within them.
Muriel doesn't forget to tend the fire anymore. It used to be an easy thing to go without. After Asra moved out, after his tormentor went up in flames, it was easy to watch the light in his hearth slowly dwindle and die. It was peaceful to sit in the dark quiet of a stone hut and slip into another long, deep, chilly sleep. But now you're here. And you deserve to be warm. You're worthy of a space filled with golden light and soft furs and beautiful tapestries and good food and warmth. And maybe ... he is too.
Portia has stopped hiding in the library. Don't get her wrong, she still sneaks into it all the time. (Seriously, what else was she going to do when she was handed one of the only two sets of keys???) The library was her space, with stories only she had read, where the skills she grew for herself hid among the bookshelves. Her achievements are much, much bigger now. They look back at her in your eyes, in Pepi's little voice, in a flourishing Vesuvia. She doesn't hide in the library anymore. She emerges from it.
Lucio refuses to eat breakfast by himself, ever again. As a soldier, it was a hurried affair around campfires - nothing like the fun of raucous dinners the night before - and as a Count, it was brought to him in his chambers. He'd sit and eat the pile of sugary goods and eye the mess of last night's debauchery and try not to feel cold and small and alone. After three years of hell, he's not alone anymore. Breakfast is campfire food, or inn amenities, and missing most of the sugar he loves - but it's portioned for two.
A.N. : Inspired by @/vesuviaweekly 's weekly prompt 'Things that changed'. As I said in 'Nightmares and Daydreams' , I am revisiting this prompt. Again can be kind of ooc for Asra and heavy on headcanons. (Some stuff is canon for me but then I look it up it is in fact NOT canon😭😭😭) . Oh the sufferings of loving a character so deeply that you divert them a bit from their original source <3. Then again as the saying goes 'to be loved is to be changed' . Anyways , this post too will involve a MC who has a similar origin story to my MC (riku) but still will be referred to as MC . MC will use they/them pronouns. I know this prompt is supposed to be a pre vs post plague scenarios but tweaking it a bit just for plot purposes <3.
C.W. : he/him pronouns for Asra ; very heavy on angst (because I am in an angsty mood 🥰) (I am sorry my love I promise to write something fluffy for you soon 😭) ; death mention ; spoilers for asra route (pretty much entirety of his route) ; characters may be ooc ; MC's aunt is mentioned (oc) ; may feel self indulgent at some points (may not) ; long post below the 'keep reading' button ; i just felt like yapping about my spouse and his history so I made this post 🥰 don't mind me ; FORGIVE ME ASRA 😩; English is not my first language so please be kind and make me aware of any mistakes you may find while reading this piece.
This post got out of control and now can be qualified as a chaptered fic 💀 aka LONG POST AHEAD.
"By clicking on 'keep reading' , you hereby confirm that you have read A.N. and C.W. as given above and therefore I (the creator of this post) will not be held accountable for your reading experience"
Change is the only constant . We all must have heard of this saying one way or another. Change is painful, sometimes manageable, most times not. Nobody wants change . We get used to situations and hope that the situation remains same . Hope that we don't have to change. Because we have gotten used to these circumstances and learned to live with them. But sometimes change is necessary. These changes can be seen in Asra's life as well. Did it change him? Let's see how changes happened in Asra's life and how it affected him.
Having a family vs Becoming an orphan :
• Asra has two very loving parents. He is loved in the Alnazar household. He knows what a family is and what it is like to be safe. He likes to spend his mornings getting magic trained from Salim. In the afternoons , his parents go for work in the palace and return late in the evenings. He doesn't mind that. He knows that by the end of the day he will be cuddled beside Aisha who will hold him oh so lovingly. He knows that whatever they do , they will ensure his safety. Afterall a child doesn't worry about his parents. It is the other way around... right?
• The first change occurred when one evening Asra's parents didn't return. The first few hours he did not notice any change. Maybe it was the calm before the storm . After an hour or so passed and Aisha and Salim didn't return at their usual time , Asra started to worry. "Where were they? Why aren't they home yet?" Said the little voice in Asra's head and made him worried. He didn't know what to do. He decided to go in his parents' room and wait the night out there. He waited and waited but his wait bore no fruit. He couldn't sleep that night. The next morning he decided to take matters in his own hands. He himself decided to go out and search for them. He searched his neighbourhood like crazy , he went to search in all familiar alleyways , he asked all familiar faces he could find , but none of this gave him a clue about the whereabouts of his parents. He only knew that they worked at the palace , so he decided to go there. He asked people around to reach the palace ,and finally that he did , he was told by the count that he executed his parents. The count executed his parents. The count executed his parents. His parents.
• Asra had two very loving parents. He was loved in the Alnazar household. He knew what a family was and what it was like to be safe. Asra hated change. He used to be safe and sound without a worry in the world just a few hours earlier. Now he was dangerously aware of the situation. He is just a kid! How is he supposed to live !? How is he supposed to survive?! What about his family?! Will he ever have one? Asra cried that day , he sobbed like a baby. He was just a baby! His parents' baby ! When he decided to return home , another bad news awaited him. The count confiscated his childhood home. He could not return. He was left in the streets of vesuvia all by himself. He had to live by himself now. He had to survive all alone. He had to , what other choice did he have?
Being alone vs Meeting new people :
• He is used to surviving on his own now. He has to be. It has been so long . The other vesuvian orphans were not always kind. You could even say that finding a friend in those orphans was a rare deal. These orphans used to survive by joining 'gangs'. Mafia of sorts , but not really that dangerous. They were dangerous for other orphans though. They were the bullies who used to boss around and dictate other non-member orphans lives. They used to bully other orphans into giving them their food. Asra was initially scared of them . But eventually when he found out that they can't use magic like he can , it was game on for him. Now the 'gangs' were scared of Asra. They avoided him as much as possible and used to scare away new orphans who could possibly become his friend by telling them stories of the great power he held aka throwing things at them without touching it. Asra was used to being alone now.
• The next change in Asra's life was a well needed change. He met Muriel. Or maybe it went a bit differently. He rescued Muriel , from the same gang of bullies mentioned earlier. How could he not ? They were making fun of Muriel and forcing him to do stuff ! Asra hardly tolerated when he came across such scenes. So of course he did what he knew best , magic! A bit of magic and every bully was left terrified. Even Muriel was a bit surprised but he soon recovered when Asra grabbed his hand and ran away with him. Away from the bullies. Soon as they interacted more Asra finds that Muriel is the reserved kind. But Muriel never left his side. Maybe it was gratitude or something entirely different but he appreciated his presence. He liked this change.
• Next change brought in his platonic soulmate in his life. While doing some magic tricks to earn some quick money to feed himself , he came across a wandering magician. He was so intrigued! And as it looked the magician was too by such talent of Asra at such a young age. He conversed with Asra and gifted him and egg. "An egg ?" Asra thought . The confusion must have shown on his face because the magician soon explained that it was gift and he should wait for it to hatch. So he did. It hatched on his birthday and came out as a beautiful purple ball python. He gained a new companion! Oh how happy he was. He named her Faust! Soon after he realized that his and Faust's connection was deeper than that of owner and pet. She was his familiar. Oh how they spent their time together, playing on the ships waiting on the docks. He would let her run away on the beach sand and chase her to catch. Muriel too got known by Faust and she started to trust him. Maybe not all changes are bad , Asra thinks.
• Asra was a teenager now. Him and Muriel have managed to secure a place in the woods. Asra had heard the townfolk talk about an upcoming masquerade ball being organized by the palace. As much as Asra absolutely despised the count , he did have an empty stomach to feed. So they (Muriel and Asra) decided to set up a stall in the bazaar. They both worked on preparing masks and other little trinkets to attract onlookers and sell those to them. On the day of the ball , when the newly wed countess first arrived in the city of vesuvia , a certain someone entered his stall to be safe from the gathering onlookers (the crowd watching the countess arrive). Little did Asra knew that this person is going to change his life forever and ever.
Friends or Something more... ? :
• Ever since that fateful meeting with MC in his stall , he had started to know them more. To the point that he was well acquainted with MC's aunt , the owner of the magic shop. MC's aunt was a kind lady. She would not hesitate to be welcoming and warm to Asra. Once she found out that Asra too was a magic user , she offered to train him. He liked it. He felt safe when he was around them. He remembered what it was like to be 'home'. They soon got pretty close to Asra. Asra gained another friend , another person to rely on. Maybe changes are good , he thought.
• Maybe it was the puberty kicking in or entirely something else but lately Asra has started to feel attracted towards MC. It started as small voices in the corner of his heart that he would dismiss initially , but soon it evolved and became harder to contain within himself. Asra was pretty close to MC and he surely didn't want to ruin their friendship. So he would run. Run away from them. Run away on 'trips'. The trips that didn't help with anything. It only made the attraction stronger. The want grew stronger and he started to crave to be in the shop. But he stopped himself. He really didn't want to lose a friend. He didn't want things to change. He was hesitant to change their relationship.
The Grief :
• He was not ready for the next change. Well, nobody was . MC's aunt died. It was hard for Asra but it was even harder for MC. He was their comfort in such tough times. He ,too, lost a person he could rely on blindly but right now getting MC adjusted was his top priority.
• Once MC was well adjusted and inherited the magic shop , he felt better too. Whatever decision they would make regarding the shop , he would accept it. They decided to continue running the shop and invited Asra to be their business partner. He accepted and together they started their magic business. It was all going well , everything was as it needed to be. But life doesn't stop at perfect moments , does it?
• The city of vesuvia experienced its deadliest plague. The plague that brought destruction. The plague that changed many lives. The plague that changed Asra's life. He tried to reason with MC , to convince them to go with him and seek refuge in a safer city far away from vesuvia . Far away from the clutches of plague. But MC wasn't the one to listen to reason. So they separated and decided to go their own ways. Asra left vesuvia and MC behind. This decision was a crucial one which changed a lot of things.
• When Asra returned and found out about MC's death , he was heartbroken and guilt stricken. If only he was more stubborn . If only he had managed to convince MC. If only he was true with his feelings . If only... he could have prevented this from happening! He could have saved them! He didn't know what to do or where to go. The shop felt emptier without MC around and lost its cozy feel. He didn't like it. Maybe not all changes are good.
Feelings of loneliness :
• Asra had decided to bring MC back. It was risky but he was ready to take this risk if it meant having MC back in the land of living. He had decided that he needs to control his life and not the other way around. He will change his life himself . He decided to work in the palace for their resources. Many warned him of dangers of working in the palace but he was never the one to listen to warnings about the count. He felt lonely, like there was no one he could trust . When initially he couldn't find a breakthrough to bring MC back, he felt hopeless. Like he was doing all this for nothing. He couldn't even ask anyone for help. All he could do was stay patient and hopeful and just try . Try to do what he was here for. Try to find a solution. He wanted things to change.
Taking care of a once independent individual :
• MC's resurrection caused them to have amnesia. The same way someone with a severe brain trauma would have. They had lost both their functional and emotional memories. When Asra realized this he felt guilty . Just how long do they have to suffer because of me? He thought. He then decided to keep his feelings aside and rehabilitate MC back to recovery. He tried a few times to get them to remember their past but when this caused more harm then good , he stopped. He was hurting inside seeing the love of his life suffer so much. Maybe he should just let them go. Afterall he will be more happy to see them happy then in pain. And so he did. He buried his feelings deep inside his heart (or what was left of it) and just focused on their recovery. Focused on reteaching them magic. Focused on reteaching them to live. But occasionally he could feel the love for them grow. So he resorted to his old habits , going away from them. Change is necessary, he would convince himself.
Returning faith (in people) :
• When MC was asked to investigate the case of the count and find Dr. Devorak for his punishment by the countess , Asra was initially hesitant. But it was not his decision to make. He supported them when MC said yes. What he didn't know was that this change of events was the one which he would thank for all eternity.
• As the investigation progressed , so did MC's recovery and that too in leaps. He was surprised to see this. His faith in people started to return too . Faith in the old baker , in the neighbour next door , in the palace guards , and the countess . He found himself gaining a part of him that he lost along with MC. As the events unfurled and MC gained most of their memories, a part in Asra healed. Maybe he had never forgiven himself for leaving them behind but now hearing it from their mouth he finally believed it.
• When he found his parents imprisoned in the magical realms , he was left speechless. He didn't know what to do or say. He didn't know what to feel. Till this day he had thought that he was an orphan but no! There were his parents standing in front of him! He thanked the Arcana for letting him see this day. He couldn't be more happier. He is getting used to changes in his life.
Maturity :
• As soon as the battle with the devil was won , Asra felt light. He felt as if a great burden has been lifted from his shoulders. The source of his lifelong sufferings , the cause of the pain to his loved ones , the devil , is now standing in front of him frozen in time. Almost like a stone statue. He could not believe that he managed to do this. That they managed to defeat the devil. They were stronger than ever. They had changed. Both of them did , in their own ways. For better and for worse.
• When he was on his way on to a new adventure with MC , his life long partner , he couldn't help but feel as if he was living in a dream. Everything was perfect now. Maybe it will not be the same tomorrow, maybe it will not be the same a few years from now , but one thing Asra had learned from his life is that things change , people change , situations change , and that's OK.
Before meeting MC vs After falling in love :
• Asra grew up loved up until his parents disappeared, after which he was left on the streets to survive. He felt alone for the first time. He was just a child when his world turned upside down. His life changed forever . Of course he was quick to gain new friends, but new people do not fully cover for the ones already lost. Soon he found a place he could call home. A place that felt like his home. A place with people welcoming enough to remind him of his family. He started to grow attached to them. It didn't matter how much he tried to brush these feelings off, the feelings resurfaced again. He was young when once again he lost people valuable to him. He didn't like this. So he refused to get used to this change.
• When he finally decided to act on his feelings and bring MC back , he didn't expect them to come back completely wiped off of their memories. But he was a changed person now. Instead of running away he decided to take care of them. Instead of letting his feelings overpower him and making things awkward, he decided to maintain distance from them. Instead of forcing them to remember their past, he accepted them as they were. Afterall, is that not what true family does? As time progressed and made everything what he could only imagine in his dreams - with MC acting on their love , his parents returning , and the devil defeated - he himself healed. He accepted everything as it was and as it would be. He decided to welcome each and every change from this point onwards without a fear. Afterall, isn't change the only constant ?
Can you guys tell that the last part (before meeting MC vs after falling in love) was what was originally planned. You can tell right? Right? 🥰← op thinks everyone knows how their brain works. Does anyone even read this part? The part where I roast myself? Idk , leave a leaf emoji if you do! Hopefully i haven't crossed the yapping limit 😩😩 If only I showed this much enthusiasm while writing school essays 😍 forgive me for such a long post. And can you guys please bully me into completing my Asra × Riku fic ? Please 🥰 /hj. I hope you enjoyed this!
Rebloggers and commenters are being offered biscuits with a warm cup of milk 🥰
I really don't understand why people are shocked we got B pics it was pretty obvious given that everything's been more or less Larry for the last week or so. They have to do something to calm us down. My thoughts are bg isn't ending until they're ready for a co, once it does I think they'll b out pretty much straight after. I really expect this to drag on till the bitter end. I do think she pregnant I don't think it's Louis because if it was there is no way he'd be acting the way he has been.
I honestly think the push and pull Larry cycle has been over for quite some time now, what we’re having the pleasure to witness is more the fight between two opposite teams with opposite goals, both pushing their own narrative. Well, OT pushing it and NT stemming the damage, subtly hinting at what is coming. And God, how amazing will it be when it’ll finally come?! So soon!I agree that babygate was probably intended to open the doors to the coming out, meant to end close to the final announcement. Who knows how things will go, but I’ve been stubborn enough to never stop considering November as the lucky month. We’ll see, it is what it is!
