I am really bad with relationships. I’m not just talking about love relationships -- yes, love relationships are still included in my list of things I need to improve on. I’m talking more about relationships with people. With a person. At first, everyone seems to like me; the way I am with my humor, the way I smile, the way I talk. Then they slowly, but very evidently slip away from me. I, then, develop a sense of urgency, a sense of insecurity, and self-destruction. It increasingly becomes a problem when I care about the person even more. When I care about someone, it seems like they leave me all the time. I am left alone, with my heart empty from pouring out all the love. I am bad with relationships because I become a different person when I’m in love. I go out of my way and be the person I want to fall in love with; however, even I know that it is too much sometimes. I am a fool, and I am lost. I wander, yet I don’t even know what I’m wandering for. All I ever truly want is a genuine person-to-person relationship, and if I can get a sincerely genuine relationship with this girl who is literally my everything, I have no more desire in life. I am not asking for a mere love relationship, but a lifetime bond and trust for one another in each other’s comfort and heart.
I have been lost for too long in the past, and I need to find the pathway before the light disappears.