Hello! I'm writing about a Muslim character who I was going to make asexual, but I read some of your posts on homosexuality not really being accepted in Islam. Would asexuality be accepted?
In Islam, there isn’t mention of asexuality (homosexuality is interpreted as a sin in the Quran by most Muslims), so there is no clear judgement on it. However, it is generally encouraged to get married and have children so I imagine that your Muslim character would be pushed to “settle down” the traditional way. A lot of good-natured but forceful/embarrassing nudging, offering names of girls/boys to marry your character, an overall denial of their asexuality and considering it a “phase” might be some of the problems they face.
However, I don’t think the discrimination they face would be anywhere near the kind that some gay kids in conservative societies do. Mostly because it isn’t a direct violation of Islam, just a clash against the very popular idea of having big families in the Middle East. The farther away you are from countries like Saudi Arabia where having a lot of kids is culturally important, the less backlash you face.
Resident ace spectrum mod here to talk about asexuality.
I have one question: What type of asexual?
“Asexual” is just one tiny part of a person’s orientation. A decent percentage of asexuals are what’s known as varioriented, meaning their romantic and sexual attractions don’t match. This means you can be heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, and any other prefixes we associate with orientations. There are four types of attraction— aesthetic (who you find pretty), sensual (who you want to cuddle), romantic (who you want a romantic relationship with), and sexual (who you want to sleep with)— and each one of these can have these orientation prefixes.
Most people tend to assume asexual also means aromantic (no desire for romantic relationships), and while there is a fairly decent chunk of the asexual community that is aromantic, they’re not the only types of asexuals out there.On top of this, you have to figure out what level of repulsion your character has. Asexuals often fall into one of four major camps: repulsed, if it’s you it’s okay, indifferent, and accepting. A repulsed ace will not want sex at all, an accepting ace could even actively seek it out. All of them are perfectly valid attitudes to hold, because asexuality only dictates attraction. It does not dictate behaviour.
A note if your character ends up aromantic: the same spectrum applies to romance. So you can have an aromantic individual who is accepting of romance and enters romantic relationships for their own reasons, or you can have an aromantic individual who never wants anything to do with romance.And finally, even sex/romanced repulsed people can want biological kids. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, sex does not have to be involved in conception. There’s that to consider, as well.
So if you have a biromantic asexual who falls for somebody of the same sex, you’ll end up in a different situation that if it was a heteroromantic asexual who wants to get married. And, again, you’ll have a different situation depending on whether or not the asexual is sex repulsed and/or wants kids, determining whether or not the person in question will face the social pressure that Yasmin outlined.
Until you answer both what romantic orientation your ace character has, and their level of repulsion, you’ll not be able to figure out what sorts of discrimination or social pressure they’ll face. It’s more than possible they’re potentially homoromantic or biromantic, meaning all previous comments about Islam and LGB+ people apply.
Just a note: all orientations can be repulsed and all orientations can be varioriented. Biromantic heterosexual is totally a thing, and this person can be repulsed or accepting or anywhere in between. These terms might’ve originated in the ace community, but they apply to all orientations!
