How to Choose
Story Summary
Valerie Jones had never had to put much thought into what her life would turn out to be - she was to go to school, find someone to settle down with, and get a job, that's the plan. But when her first day at her new job ends in an unexpected trip to a different dimention, how can she reconcile what she had planned and what life has dished out?
Masterlist
Author’s Note
Soooooo this is coming a little later than I was planning but it’s here now! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the update!
Chapter 12
Steve stood at the top of the stairs starring down at his long lost soulmate for what felt like ages. The grip on his gun was so tight it almost hurt as he lowered it away from Bucky. His breath caught in his throat as he looked into Bucky’s steely blue eyes that used to look at him with nothing but warmth and love. Now they eyed Steve beedily as Bucky was debating what to do now that he had been caught. The two men just stared at each other, waiting for the other to break the silence.
“Steve,” a soft voice called out from the common room. Bucky’s eye’s darted up towards the door and took a step forward. Steve raised his gun again, stopping Bucky in his tracks.
“What are you doing here?” Steve asked.
“There was a girl by the river when I pulled you out. She said to come here to talk to her,” Bucky said. Steve lowered his gun again, his brow furrowed.
“She told you to come here?”
Bucky’s shoulders tensed and his brow furrowed.
“Why do you care?” Bucky said in a gravely voice that sounded like it hadn’t been used in awhile.
“She’s also my soulmate and I have to keep her safe, even from you,” Steve answered. Valerie called out again, her voice sounding closer. Both of the super soldiers could her her footsteps nearing the stairwell door. “What did you need to talk to her about?”
Bucky looked down at the ground for a moment. His shoulder moved up and down like he was trying to compose himself and Steve gripped his gun a little tighter. Bucky looked back up at Steve, a steelyness in his eye that hadn’t even been there in the D.C.
“Bucky…”
“You didn’t hold a gun to me in D.C.” Bucky said.
“You weren’t asking for my soulmate in D.C.,” Steve replied. “I don’t want to hold a gun to you but until I know why you came to see her, I don’t have another choice. Maybe I’ll put my gun down if you tell me what you want with her.”
“I don’t know,” Bucky grumbled, eyes darting down.
“I need better than I don’t know,” Steve said. Bucky huffed, his lips pressed tightly together.
“I just came to talk to the girl from the river.”
“You said that already,” Steve said through gritted teeth. Steve’s patience was waring thin. All he wanted to do was run to Bucky. To throw his arms around his soulmate and help him out of this situation and introduce him properly to Valerie. He didn’t dare to think about the life they could have. One of easy contentedness living far away from any outside forces looking to exploit them. Now wasn’t the time for daydreaming of lives that could be. No, now was the time for caution because some swedish asshole decided Bucky needed to be brainwashed for 70 years. Used and abused for Hydra. Before Bucky could answer, the door opened and Valerie peaked her head in.
“Steve? What are you…” the question died on her lips once she noticed the gun in Steve’s hand and the tightnessof his shoulders and jaw. Suddenly, rushed steps came from the stairs, and in a flash Bucky and Steve were struggling against each other. Bucky’s arms were around Steve’s waist, trying to get past him. Steve had Bucky in a headlock, his feet planted to the ground. Steve hit bucky with the butt of his gun, but Buckky caught his wrist. Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm and twisted it, using his hight to his advantage and pushing Bucking to the ground. Steve knelt on Bucky’s back. It all happened so quickly, Valerie didn’t even have time to yell.
“Valerie, get out of here,” Steve yelled, his gun pressed into Bucky’s back. Valerie stood frozen in wide eye terror as Bucky looked up at her. “Call Tony, then Same. Tell them what’s happening
Valerie ignored Steve’s request and just looked at Bucky, who wasn’t even struggling against Steve. Bucky was here. He was here. There Bucky was, in ragged, slightly grimy clothes that she was sure were stolen, a knifelaying just a foot away from his flesh hand. Valerie didn’t care about the knife nor did she heed Steve’s warning to leave. All she could think about was getting this distressed man into the tower.
“Bucky,” she whispered, disbalief washing over her. “What are you doing here?”
Bucky took a minute to look her over. She had a nervous look in her eye, but her hands gripped the doorhandle so tightly, it was like she was tethering herself to prevent her from running the few steps between them. He cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“You said you’d be here if I needed help,” Bucky said, he stared at her determedly, fighting every urge to push Steve off of him so he could look at her properly. “Why?”
Valerie mouth opened and closed, trying to form words. What did he mean ‘why?’ It was a question so simple, that it felt like it should just be known. Yet here Bucky was looking up at her like a lost kid looking for help. His tone was sharp and pointed though, so cutting, Valerie stepped back. “Why did I offer you help?”
“You saw what I did to him, why would you want to help me?”
“Do you not think you deserve it?” Valerie asked.
“Why would I deserve it?”
“Because it wasn’t your fault,” Steve interjected. It wasn’t the right answer. Bucky started shaking his head, lips pressed together in a thin line.
“No, I still did it though,” Bucky said through gritted teeth.
“You also pulled Steve from the water and you’ve had this long to go back to Hydra, and you didn’t,” Valerie said, hands gripping the rail. “If you’re so unredeemable, why not just leave Steve to die and go back?”
“I don’t know,” Bucky mumbled.
“Why don’t you get off of him, Steve? We can get him some clean clothes and some food. In the mean time, he can try to think of a better answer than I don’t know,” Valerie said, taking a tentative step forward only to jump back as Steve yelled out a ‘no’ and shoved his hand out to block Valerie.
“Steve!” Valerie hissed.
“He doesn’t come in until he tell me exactly why he’s here,” Steve said firmly.
“I shouldn’t be here,” Bucky siad.
“Then what are you doing here?” Steve asked.
“I don’t know.”
“We need better than I don’t know, Buck,” Steve said.
“Okay, Bucky you turn on Jarvis and instead of giving Steve your weapons, you place them infront of you on the table?” Valerie asked, finally getting out of Steve’s grip and stepping beside Steve. “Does that work for everyone?”
“I shouldn’t be here,” Bucky repeated.
“Were you just planning on waiting in the stairwell until someone happened to see you then?”
“I…I don’t know. I just wanted to ask you something.” Bucky said, turning his head away from Valerie and Steve.
“What did you want to ask?” Valerie asked.
“What’s your name?”
Valerie looked from Bucky to Steve, who kept his eyes trained on Bucky. Part of her didn’t want to answer. It was the part of her that knew how dangerous Bucky was. If he could nearly kill Steve then what hope did she have against him? But another part of her just wanted to crouch down next to him, caress his face, and tell him everything was going to be okay. To shoo Steve off and wrap her arms around this lost man.
“Valeire,” she finally answered.
“You’re full name,” Bucky demanded.
“You don’t -” Steve began but Valerie cut him off.
“Valerie Marie Jones,” she whispered so quietly Steve almost couldn’t hear her but Bucky had never listened so closely to anyone in his entire life.
“Do you have my name on you?” Bucky asked. Valerie nodded, her eyes stinging.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, hurt lacing his words.
“Th-there was so much going on. I didn’t think it was the right time.” Valerie said, breathing low to stop the tears from falling.
Bucky didn’t say anything. He turned his head away from her and his mouth became a straight line. His gaze was so hard and piercing, Valerie thought he might carve a hole throught the concrete wall as an escape.
“Why did you want to help me?” he finally gritted out, “You didn’t even want to tell me who you were, yet you want to help me?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was. If I could go back a change that, I would. But I do want to help you if that’s what you want,” Valerie said. Steve let out a wet scoff and suddenly Valerie remembered that Steve was still there, pinning Bucky to the ground.
“Of course he wants help, and we’re going to give it to him,” Steve said. His eyes were red and he took measured breaths. For the first time, Bucky started to struggle a bit, a slight panic in his eye.
Valerie shook her head, stepping towards Steve and crouching down to place a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “No, he has to want help. He has to ask for it, Steve. Forcing him to go through what you’re asking of him could do more harm than good. Please get off of Bucky and let him make his choice.”
Steve shook his had back and forth, his face screwing up like he was trying to will the tears to go back into his eyes. “Even if I wanted to, I can’t let him leave.”
“Why don’t we just start with standing up?” Valerie said, softly caressing Steve’s cheek.
Steve nodded and pinned both of Bucky’s hands behind his back before standing and bring Bucky up with him. Bucky looked like he wanted to bolt. His eyes were darting from Valerie to the door leading into the tower and the stairs, but he made no move to get out of Steve’s grip.
“Valerie grab that knife and bring it to the kitchen. Then call Tony and tell him what’s happening,,” Steve said. Valerei picked up the knife and hesitated looking between the two men.
“We’ll be in there in a second,” Steve reassured. “I just need to pat down Bucky before he goes in.”
Valerei nodded and left the men alone again. Steve sighed and walked Bucky over to the wall. He placed Bucky’s hands against the cinder blocks and pushed his feet apart. He got to work, searching for any hidden weapon on Bucky. He ran his hands across Bucky’s arms and down his torso and legs. Steve turned Bucky around and repeated his search again. Bucky said nothing and only moved when Steve moved him. He had a far off look on his face, like he wasn’t there.
“You alright, Buck?” Steve asked, lifting up Bucky’s shirt to pull a gun from his waistband. Bucky didn’t say anything. Steve reached the front of Bucky’s right boot and felt another knife. He sighed and pulled it out. “You packed pretty light for storming the tower alone.”
“I shouldn’t be here,” Bucky whispered.
“No, probably not,” Steve sighed, standing to look Bucky in the eye. “But I’m glad you came.”
“If you were smart, you’d kill me,” Bucky said matter-of-factly. Steve’s entire body went rigid and his blood felt icy.
“I don’t want you dead,” Steve mumbled.
“I wanted you dead.”
Steve started at Bucky. His jaw was set and if he didn’t know better, he would have believed what Bucky said. But there was something behind that suredness that told Steve he was fronting. He just shook his head.
“If you wanted me dead you wouldn’t have pulled me from the river.”
“You don’t know me,” Bucky said, glaring at Steve.
“I do know you, Buck and you know me.”
Bucky stared unblinking at Steve, like he was waiting for Steve to take back what he said. But he didn’t. Steve just took a step back and waited for Bucky to walk through the door into the tower. After a moment, the two men were walking into the common area.
“Jarvis,” Steve said, setting down Bucky’s weapons. “What’s Tony’s ETA?”
“Mr. Stark should be back at the tower in about 30 minutes,” Jarvis replied. “I also should tell you that as soon as Mr. Barnes left the stairwell, I was able to regain access to that area but my access to the common area was gone the moment Mr. Barnes entered.”
Steve huffed and shook his head. “Bucky, first let’s start with not disrupting Jarvis. If you’re gonna stay we need Tony to agree to it and messing with Jarvis is not the way to get on his good side.”
Valerie walked into the kitchen from the living room, putting her phone back in her pocket. “Tony is on his way and he know’s that Bucky is messing with Jarvis. He’s really not happy about it.”
Bucky shifted uncomfortably, but he made no move to stop interfering with Jarvis. Steve and Valerie just stared at him, waiting for him to do something but nothing came. Finally Valerie sat next to him.
“If you want us to help you, you’re going to have to trust us a little,” She said, mindful to keep her voice even and kind, not touching his at all.
Bucky considered her words for a moment, his body so rigid Valerie thought he looked like he’d shatter if touched. Steve took a step towards Bucky, a comforting hand outstretched. Bucky’s eyes darted to Steve and Valerie jerked her head side to side in a absolutely-not-abort-mission kind of way. Thankfully, Steve picked up on this and dropped his hand.
“Valerie’s right, Buck,” Steve sighed. “Help us help you.”
Bucky looked to Steve and then Valerie, before giving a curt nod and pulling out some kind of device that looked out of a sci-fi movie to Valerie, and flicking a switch.
“I now have access to the common area kitchen,” Jarvis said. “Mr. Stark is also 15 minutes away.”
“I shouldn’t be here,” Bucky murmured.
“Why not?” Valerie asked.
Bucky’s jaw clenched and his breathing became deep and measured. Whirling came from his metal arm as his balled his fist. It should have been terrifying - Valerie hadn’t been able to forget just how broken Steve looked when he had been pulled out of the river. Yet she knew he wouldn’t hurt her.
“Is there a specific reason you shouldn’t be here?” she asked. Again, he didn’t answer.
“Bucky, we need some answers. Tony is-” Steve began to plead but Bucky interrupted.
“I killed Howard and his wife,” Bucky said lowly, staring at the counter. Valerie’s forehead creased in confusion. She didn’t know who those people were, but from Steve face she could tell it was bad. As soon as the words left Bucky’s mouth, the color drained from Steve’s face. His mouth opened and closed stupidly as he looked for anything so say. After a moment, Steve finally found his voice.
“You didn’t have a choice, Bucky.”
“I still did it.”
“You wouldn’t have done that if you were in your right mind,” Steve comforted, but Bucky just shook his head.
“I shouldn't’ have come here,” Bucky muttered.
“But you did,” Valerie said firmly. “You came here to ask for help and we want to do that Bucky.”
“You two want to help, but is Stark really going to want to help the guy who murdered his parents?” Bucky asked pointedly.
“What did you just say?” a voice asked from behind Steve and Valerie. They both whipped around to see Tony standing in the middle of the room in his Iron Man suit. His mask flipped up and he was glaring so intensely at Bucky, Valerie was sure he would set on fire if Tony didn’t look away.
“Tony-” Steve started but was silenced when Tony turned his gaze on him.
“Did you know he killed my mom,” Tony said, lowly.
“No, I didn’t,” Steve said quickly. “I didn’t know and I’m sure that when Bucky did it he didn’t know either.”
All three of them turned to Bucky who was just staring blankly at the floor.
“Hey! Now’s a great time to start talking, Manchurian Candidate,” Tony barked.
“I’m sorry…” Bucky said softly, not looking up.
“You’re sorry? Is that all you have to say?” Tony yelled. He rushed forward and Valerie stepped in front of Tony. “Get out of here Valerie, I’ll hurt you if you get in the way.”
“Tony, he wasn’t in his right mind,” Steve yelled. “And Valerie has nothing to do with this.”
Tony was seething. He flipped his mask back down and lifted his hand up, a whirling noise came from it and the light in his palm got brighter. Valerei pushed his arm away from its target right as it shot a beam of light. A hole was in the wall and Tony roared.
“Tony, stop!” Valerie yelled as Steve shouted at her to leave. Bucky was still seated at the table, looking completely unfazed. “Tony, don’t hurt him!”
“Why? He killed my mom and all he has to say for himself is sorry,” Tony spat.
“I know, and I can’t imagine what you’re feeling but hurting him won’t bring her back,” Valerie pleaded.
“Why is he here?” Tony asked though clenched teeth.
“He came for help,” Steve said.
“I told him to come if he needed help,” Valerie said. “He wants to make up for what he’s done.”
Tony scoffed. “Really? Is that what you want, Barnes. To go around to everyone you hurt and give out some half-assed apology and then rot away in some super max prison? Becasue that’s what’s coming for you. I’m gonna make sure of it.”
Bucky finally looked up and with the saddest eyes Valerie had ever seen said to her and Steve, “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry.”
In a fraction of a second, Bucky grabbed his weapons from the table and unscrewed the hilt. A small ball can rolling out and in a flash, a dense fog filled the air. Valerie couldn’t see anything but felt large metal hands push her to the ground and heavy footfalls rushing away. Her eyes watered as she tried to wave away the smoke. She stood slowly and reached out her hands to feel her way to Steve, if he was even still there. A few steps in she hit the kitchen counter.
“Steve!” she called out.
“I’m right here, Val,” he replied and a moment later Steve’s large hand reached through the smoke to pull her through. In a moment, they were in the stairwell again breathing the fresh air. The two just leaned against the wall in silence as Jarvis filtered out the smoke. Valerie tried to strain her ears to hear any sign of Bucky or Tony, but they were both gone. She was trying hard to not look at Steve, she could already tell how he was feeling through their mark. Devastation and longing like she had never felt crept from his name, encasing her heart in a deep sadness so thick molassas seemed as thin as water. She looked up at him, as silent tears poured down his face.
“Steve…” she whispered, but he just shook his head.
“He was right here, Valerie,” Steve gasped. “He was right here, wanting my help and Tony chased him away.”
“I’m so sorry, Steve,” Valerie cried. He just looked at her eyes wide and watery. She racked her brain to find the right thing to say, anything to make that beaten puppy dog look on his face go away but what is there to say? How do you comfort someone when the love of their life is so close and yet so far beyond their reach? Valerie decided the universe had the most fucked up sense of humor.
“How was I supposed to know they made him kill Tony’s parents? I never would have kept him here if I had known,” Steve sobbed. He buried his head in his hands and sank to the ground. Valerie wrapped her arms around him and held him as he cried for his soulmate.
They sat like that well past soreness stiffened Valerie’s knees and Steve’s tears dried up. THe two just sat huddled together until the door swung open and metal footsteps came culomping in. Tony stood in front of them, glaring down in distrust.
“Did you know?” he asked.
“Tony,” Valerie started but Tony was determined to get his answer. He pushed Valerie off of Steve and grabbed the other man by the collar, shoving him against the wall.
“Did you know?” He repeated. Steve looked past Tony, his voice came small and scratchy from crying.
“No.”
“Did you know he was coming here?” Tony asked.
“No.”
“Why was he here?” Steve didn’t answer. Tony shoved him against the wall for a second time. “Steve!”
“I told him to come here!” Valerie yelled, the shock of Tony’s abruptness finally abetting. “When he pulled Steve from the river, I was there and told him to come here when he wanted to get help.”
Tony turned to Valerie and let go of Steve. His face was red and his gaze made Valerie want to curl up and die.
“I’m not helping him with anything,” Tony spat. WIth that he turned and went back into the tower.
Valerie let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding as soon as the door slammed shut.
“Steve,” she whimpered, though she didn’t know what to say.
“Are you okay?” Steve asked, his gaze still far off.
“Yeah,” she said. “Are you?”
“Bucky needs help. I have work to do,” Steve said. He pushed himself off the wall and walked into the tower without sparing Valerie a glance. He left her alone to her thoughts and finally Valerie sank to the ground herself, tears streaming down her face.
Chapter 13
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