is okay? hmm?
Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Heated Rivalry Season 1 Episode 2

seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from Germany

seen from United States

seen from Belarus

seen from Germany

seen from Australia
seen from Yemen

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from T1
seen from United States

seen from Jordan

seen from Netherlands

seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Germany

seen from T1
seen from United States
is okay? hmm?
Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov, Heated Rivalry Season 1 Episode 2
Sharing the cameo I received last time he opened them up. We all need some Rafa telling us to just breathe.
Sassy Carlos Reyes → for @pragmatic-optimist @reyescarlos @howtosingit
TK & Carlos, 911 Lone Star 2.12
let me take your heart (love you in the dark)
summary: Settled into his new life in Austin, TK takes pride in having a handle on all the recent changes that have come his way. The latest recruit to the 126, however, threatens to undo all of that instantly. As he and Carlos grow closer on and off duty, TK quickly discovers that some fires aren't meant to be tamed.
completed word count: 28.6k || rated: e || chapter 2 of 2 || read on ao3
Oh, I love to watch your body lie Makes me feel better, Makes me satisfied
“Are you excited about tonight?” TK asks as Carlos’ fingertips lightly thread through his hair.
They’ve spent the vast majority of this afternoon tangled up together, Carlos making good on his word from the night before. The two of them have been getting lost in each other since TK dropped in this morning. It’s been easy enough to pass the time talking and now watching a movie on the couch. TK is resting comfortably with his head in Carlos’ lap, the film largely going ignored.
“Anxious, I think, is more accurate. I want everyone to have a good time. Hosting the team for the first time is kind of a big deal.”
TK offers him a soft smile.
“It’s just game night. We’re all going to have a great time.”
Carlos frowns a bit.
“I hope so. I want everyone to be comfortable while they’re here.”
TK sits up a bit to kiss his jaw.
“Speaking from personal experience, I can say you’re a very accommodating host. Five stars all the way. They’ll be more than comfortable,” he says. “Well, as long as we don’t let it slip that you went down on me on this very same cou—“
Carlos puts a hand over his mouth before TK can finish his sentence.
“You’re horrible,” he laughs and TK does too, pressing a kiss to Carlos’ palm.
“I promise, I’ll keep that little bit of trivia to myself,” Carlos vows.
He lowers his hand and TK latches onto it, interlacing their fingers. Carlos’ thumb brushes the back of his hand automatically.
“I assume you’ve mapped out how you’d like tonight to go over? Menu, itinerary, the whole nine yards?” TK says.
“As a matter of fact, yes. There will be drinks, tapas, and, one of my personal favorites, Ropa Vieja.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“It’s my grandmother’s recipe,” Carlos says. “I’ve made it more times than I can count.”
“I like how close you and your family are.”
Carlos shrugs. “We’re closer in some respects more than others. But, yeah, food is definitely one of the things that binds us. I think the ranch is a close second.”
TK smiles at this.
“I still can’t believe you grew up on a ranch. I can’t stop picturing you surrounded by animals like Dr. Doolittle or something.”
That’d been one of the first few things TK had learned about Carlos that very first night they texted.
Carlos laughs.
“Being able to communicate with them would have been helpful quite a few times. Life on a ranch is a far cry from New York City. But, you’ve found your way in Austin. There’s still hope for you to fully embrace some lifestyles down here.”
“I’m getting accustomed to one local in particular, so I think I’m on the right track.”
Carlos smiles and kisses him. TK’s stomach erupts with butterflies as he kisses him back sweetly.
“Speaking of, do you want to hang out this weekend?” Carlos asks as they pull apart. “There’s a food festival I wanted to check out. I thought, maybe, you’d like to go too.”
“I’d love that, yeah.”
It’s easy to forget, in moments like this, that they aren’t a couple. They are merely coworkers and friends and occasionally—quite frequently—lovers. It’s not an actual relationship even though all the building blocks seem to be in place.
The sex, without question, is always incredible. The best he’s ever had, he’d venture to say. But truthfully, it’s little moments like this that TK has been growing particularly fond of.
He and Carlos can talk about anything, can laugh and tease each other. There’s a comfort there that TK cherishes. With Carlos, he feels safe and wholly himself.
It’s equal parts reassuring and terrifying, to be made to feel as if he can fall for someone again.
Carlos shifts their position to lie down on his side. TK adjusts to his side as well, his back pressed against Carlos’ front. The other man wraps an arm around his middle and TK smiles to himself at how naturally they seem to fall into place with each other.
Carlos sighs softly and snuggles in closer to him, his face tucked in against the side of his neck. It does something complicated to TK’s heartbeat to feel his breath and skin so near.
They don’t speak for a while, just remain pressed on tightly against each other as the movie continues to play. But TK’s focus still isn’t on the screen. His thoughts wander, conjuring up some make-believe world in which all of this is real and means something more than this transient state of sporadic hookups.
TK can tell the precise moment the other man falls asleep. Carlos’ body feels heavier against him, his breathing a bit deeper. TK places his hand over the arm Carlos still has around him.
He closes his eyes and draws in a breath as he too begins to drift, his breaths syncing with Carlos’.
He wakes with a start some time later as Carlos springs up off the couch behind him.
“Dammit,” Carlos mutters.
TK sits up and rubs at his eye.
“What happened? What’s wrong?”
Carlos has a panicked look in his eye as he focuses on TK.
“I didn’t mean to sleep for that long. Or at all, for that matter. I need to prepare for tonight and it’s already so late.”
TK gets up and walks over to him.
“It’s okay. There’s still time.”
Carlos doesn’t look so sure. TK has seen, in some flashes, the way Carlos’ anxiousness creeps up at times. It happens at work if he overthinks a judgment call.
Carlos heads into the kitchen, TK following closely behind. Carlos is like a hurricane blowing through the room, pulling ingredients from the fridge and cupboards.
It puts TK on edge so he can only imagine how quickly Carlos’ mind must be racing now. TK isn’t sure how exactly to help, but he feels the urge to do something, even if the effect is only temporary.
“Carlos, you need to relax,” TK says, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist from behind as he stands at the counter.
Carlos sighs softly and TK feels a slight tremble in his body. Curious to see how he’ll react to him again, TK kisses the base of his neck. Carlos straightens his shoulders.
“I need to focus on making dinner. Tonight has to go perfectly. It’ll set the tone for future hangs.”
He can hear the genuine worry in Carlos’ voice. All he wants to do now is free him of any concerns.
“Everyone would be just fine if we ordered pizzas. It’s sweet that you want to prepare something, but you don’t have to go through all this trouble.”
Carlos twists his neck enough to look at him.
“Order pizza? Over the option of a home-cooked meal? Hello, I’m Carlos Reyes,” he says, angling his body and extending his hand. “It’s so nice to meet you. Apparently we’ve never met before.”
TK rolls his eyes and laughs, placing a kiss on Carlos’ cheek.
“Total control freak. You’re stressing yourself out for no reason, is all I’m saying. Tonight is supposed to be about having fun. It’ll hardly matter to everyone what’s on the menu. So again, I say, you need to relax.”
“What I need is for you to stop distracting me. I can still make this work,” Carlos counters, but there’s no bite to his words as he playfully flicks the back of TK’s hand.
“You think this is a distraction, huh? Baby, I could be so much worse,” he purrs in Carlos’ ear.
TK bites down gently on Carlos’ earlobe and sucks softly as he undoes the man’s jeans. Carlos goes still and makes no objections so TK keeps going, slipping his hand past the waistband of Carlos’ boxer briefs.
Carlos sets the spoon in his hand down and grips the edge of the counter with both hands as TK takes a hold of him.
“TK,” he says softly, shoulders hunching over slightly.
TK skims the tip of his nose along Carlos’ cheek and to his ear again.
“You’re so set on taking care of everyone else tonight. Let me take care of you.”
TK can hear Carlos’ breath catch as he begins to stroke him with a feather-light touch.
“The team will be here in about an hour,” Carlos says, his voice wavering much like his resolve, apparently, as he still makes no effort to stop him.
TK lets out a breath, his thumb gently teasing Carlos’ already wet slit. He hums softly, the pad of his finger smearing along the tip. Carlos curses under his breath.
“That’s plenty of time for the things I want to do to you. I’ll loosen you up. I’ll get you to stop worrying so much.”
TK takes his hand back out, and Carlos whimpers at the loss. TK has him right where he wants him. He leaves a trail of soft kisses down his neck before stepping away.
Carlos turns around at once, and TK can see just how badly the man wants this, how easily he’s surrendering himself to TK. His pupils are dilated and with his pants undone and the unmistakable imprint of his hard cock in his jeans, TK just wants to ruin him and send him over the edge completely.
TK takes a hold of Carlos’ hand and leads him out of the kitchen and to the stairs. He’s far too comfortable inside Carlos’ house. He walks around as if it’s a second home.
He kisses Carlos hard as they enter the man’s bedroom, cradling his face as he walks them over to the bed. TK shoves Carlos down against the soft bedding and climbs on top of him.
He grinds down, grinning at the feel of Carlos’ cock alongside his own. TK leans in and kisses him slowly, swiveling his hips over Carlos’ again. A low moan comes out of the man instantly.
“I need you,” Carlos breathes against his lips.
It feels good to be trusted like this and so clearly desired.
TK pulls back to look at him, stroking his cheek softly with the side of his thumb.
“Whatever you want. My mouth, my hands, just say the word.”
Carlos’ face flushes a bit.
“I want what you promised downstairs. I want you to take me out of my head.”
TK smiles at this and switches gears, pushing Carlos’ shirt up and leaving a trail of kisses down his torso.
“I can do that.”
Carlos tucks a hand under his chin and forces his gaze gently. TK holds still, fingers still bunching the fabric of Carlos’ shirt as the man speaks.
“I’m not sure if you’re fully understanding what I mean when I say that.”
TK’s head tilts to the side a bit. He supposes he doesn’t, but he’d like to know.
Carlos licks his lips and sighs, apparently psyching himself up.
“TK, I want you to fuck me. That’s what I want…need right now…if you’re willing.”
TK’s eyes widen for a moment, but he quickly recovers. He wants that just as desperately, has wanted it for weeks now.
“Whatever you want, you’ll get,” TK repeats slowly, looking him right in the eyes. “I’ve got you.”
Seemingly assured, Carlos settles back against the pillows. TK’s up for the challenge and quickly adapts to taking the lead. He finishes what he started downstairs and gets Carlos’ jeans off completely.
He gets them both undressed, his eyes once again taking in Carlos’ perfect body. It’s been weeks and TK isn’t sure the shock of having Carlos like this will ever wear off. Selfishly, he hopes to be the last person Carlos is with, intimately or otherwise.
The thought comes out of nowhere. TK pushes it aside. That isn’t what this is. They’ve never hinted at more and he can be okay with that.
Or so he has to believe.
TK grabs supplies from Carlos’ top drawer, quick to coat his fingers and Carlos’ entrance with lube. Carlos shivers and TK savors that reaction to him. He takes his time, rubbing the tips of his fingers around Carlos’ rim, unable to tear his eyes away as he watches Carlos open up to him.
He checks in with Carlos, makes sure he’s doing alright as he slips the tip of his middle finger in. He rubs a soothing hand over Carlos’ thigh and basks in the ways the other man responds to him, the way his breath hitches as he gradually slides his finger all the way in.
He leans forward and kisses Carlos, their tongues meeting as TK works him up to take a second finger. Carlos’ hands are in his hair by the third finger, tugging gently as he thrusts forward against the digits.
TK can’t help but to stare as his fingers dive in deeper. Carlos is so tight around him, it makes his cock twitch in anticipation. He stays on task though, wanting to make sure Carlos is properly prepped for him.
TK curls his fingers slightly, his eyes trained on Carlos’ face. The man winces a bit and immediately TK stops.
“Are you okay? Did that hurt?”
Carlos sighs and steadies his breathing.
“In a good way. Keep going.”
TK doesn’t hesitate. He slides his fingers back in and curls the digits just like before. Carlos’ mouth hangs open as he arches his back, his eyes fluttering shut. TK leans in and kisses his abs and chest as he continues to stretch him.
Carlos’ breaths grow shaky, a slight tremble in body as he moans.
“That’s it,” TK coaxes as Carlos rocks forward and fucks his fingers. “Just beautiful. You’re doing so well.”
Carlos takes a hold of the sheet, his hand balling up the fabric. TK watches the tendons in his arm flex. It makes him ache between his legs. Carlos is leaking and muttering softly, clearly blissful. TK could watch him like this for hours, but he wants more. He can clearly see Carlos needs more, too.
“Touch yourself,” he rasps, surprising himself.
Carlos opens his eyes and looks at him through heavy lids. TK can’t explain it, but he feels desperate to see this all of a sudden.
“Let go of the sheet and wrap that hand around your cock instead. Now.”
Carlos does as he’s told immediately and TK watches hungrily as the man loosens his grip on the sheets and begins to pleasure himself. TK thrusts his fingers in deeper and teases Carlos’ prostate. Carlos bites back on his lower lip, his eyes fixed on TK as he works himself over.
“So hot and well-behaved. I bet you could come from this right now if I told you to, hmm? Just make an absolute mess of your own hand.”
Carlos shudders. TK takes that as confirmation.
Carlos buries half his face in the pillow, his wrist flicking harder as he whines. He’s ready and TK is too.
TK places a kiss on his hip.
“Next time. I know what you need now. I didn’t forget,” he assures.
He slips his fingers out of Carlos and gently touches his wrist to get him to stop jerking himself off. Carlos’ eyes look dazed, his breathing a bit heavy.
“Are you good?” TK asks.
Carlos nods and licks his lips. His voice is coarse when he speaks, but his words are clear.
“Amazing. Please, don’t stop.”
Relieved, TK kisses his jaw and strokes his cheek.
“Good. Get on your stomach for me then.”
Carlos is compliant and turns over at once, getting himself settled, his hands anchoring to the bedding, back dipped slightly, enough to put him on display. TK has to squeeze a hand over the base of his own cock to calm down. Carlos is so obedient and eager. It’s driving him mad.
He gets the condom over his length and slicks them both up. He palms at Carlos’ ass as he aligns himself. Slowly, he inches forward, letting out a string of curses as he fills him.
“You feel so good, babe, shit,” he hisses, Carlos snug around him.
He stays still, letting Carlos acclimate to his length. TK’s fingers lightly card through Carlos’ curls until the man begins to roll his hips back onto his cock. It’s truly indescribable and TK can’t get enough already.
They fall into an easy rhythm with each other, going slow and steady. TK lets Carlos set the pace, matching his intensity as bit by bit he grows used to TK inside of him. Carlos’ thrusts eventually grow wilder and as he starts to beg him for more, TK finds himself becoming bolder too.
One hand splays at the base of Carlos’ neck, holding him down as he fucks into him, his other hand gripping his hip tightly to further keep him in place.
The room fills with the sound of their ragged breaths and pounding flesh.
Carlos lets out a sharp cry, tugging at the sheets beneath him as he grinds against the bed. His sounds grow muted just then and it takes TK a second to realize Carlos is biting the sheets as he essentially fucks them, his hips rutting up repeatedly against the fabric bunching beneath them.
He takes every inch of TK without protest, thrusting himself back against TK’s cock, his hips shifting marginally each time. It leaves TK speechless, reducing him to hard grunts and moans.
“Right there, fuck. Right there,” Carlos chokes out, and TK doubles down on the spot, his thrusts unrelenting as he tirelessly drives himself deeper and deeper with each return.
TK can feel the telltale signs of Carlos’ orgasm building, the way he clenches around his length, the uptick in his voice as he calls out.
Carlos’ body shudders hard against the mattress as he hits his climax and TK doesn’t break his stride, for Carlos’ sake as well as his own. Carlos is babbling incoherently and TK feels as if he’s soaring. This has far exceeded anything he could have dreamed up.
He comes a few moments after Carlos, pleasure pouring out of every cell and flooding his senses.
He stays buried inside Carlos for a moment as he catches his breath and gets his head on somewhat straight. Slowly, he pulls out and properly disposes of the condom. He kisses Carlos' shoulder softly.
Carlos rolls over and lies on his back. His chest looks like a sunrise, a warm reddish hue in the center from all his exertion. His face is covered in a sheen of sweat. He looks well and truly satisfied.
TK has never seen a more beautiful sight.
His eyes take in the mess Carlos has made on the sheets and his own body. It gets TK’s heart pumping hard all over again to see him wrecked like this, to know that he’s responsible for it all.
Unable to stop himself, TK grips Carlos’ hips as he inches towards his frame and works to lick him clean. Carlos’ nails scratch against his scalp as he goes and TK cannot seem to get enough of his taste, only stopping when he’s cleared away every last drop.
He looks up at Carlos who reaches for his pendant and tugs him forward with it. TK goes easily, straddling his hips and kissing him deeply. Carlos doesn’t seem at all put off by the taste of himself in TK’s mouth, and TK can hardly put into words how incredibly sexy he finds that to be.
His hands encircle Carlos’ wrists as he pins them above the man’s head as he continues to kiss him. TK’s tongue slips into his mouth and explores. Carlos just seems to melt against him, no qualms with being trapped like this.
TK likes the control, more so the trust Carlos has in him to himself over like this.
TK loses track of how long they stay like that. He eventually sets Carlos’ wrists free and is immediately treated to the man’s hands roaming his naked body, his back, his ass, his thighs. If he had it his way, they’d spend the rest of the night just like this, but—
“We have to get up,” Carlos mumbles against his lips, bursting his bubble.
TK groans; he hates the fact that he’s right. He looks at the time on Carlos’ nightstand. They’ve only got about twenty minutes or so before the others start showing up and they need to make themselves presentable again.
An irrational part of him wishes they could call off game night, tell the team the gathering is canceled so he can continue picking Carlos apart all night. But he knows they’ve pushed this as far as they can this evening.
He pecks Carlos’ lips one more time before begrudgingly climbing off of him and standing up with a heavy sigh.
Carlos moves to get out of bed as well, but takes a moment to grab his jeans and dig in his pocket.
“What are you doing?” TK asks, amused at the sight of Carlos standing up now on shaky legs.
Carlos rakes a hand through his hair and licks his lips as he pulls up something on his phone.
“Accepting defeat,” he replies, putting the phone to his ear. “Hi, I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”
~*~*~
Downtime between calls lends itself to a lot of time for the crew to hang around the station. TK and the guys kill time in the weight room. It’s become an unofficial place for them to openly talk about their lives or have venting sessions and get advice. It seems only fitting that today’s gathering inspires another such huddle.
Paul shakes his head as he looks at his phone and sets the device down.
“Everything alright?” TK asks from where he is on the treadmill.
“Another one bites the dust,” Paul grumbles, laying back on the workout bench. “Bad date last night. We’ve officially called it.”
Carlos stands behind the weights as a spotter. Mateo should, in theory, be doing crunches on the exercise ball, but he busies himself with bouncing on it a bit as he sits instead.
Paul fills them in on the date, fixates mainly on just how different the woman’s tastes were from his own as they dined.
“If we aren’t compatible when it comes to cuisine, I don’t think we would stand a chance. Best to learn this early on,” Paul says.
The group laughs and Paul does too, shaking his head with a sigh.
“There must be something in the air,” he says.
Mateo agrees, mentioning he’s been in a bit of a drought himself.
“What’s the latest for you, TK? You seem to be over that guy in New York,” Mateo notes.
TK had brought up Alex what feels like a lifetime ago in this very same room the last time the guys sat around talking about relationships.
The only difference was Carlos hadn’t been part of the team then.
TK looks over at Carlos for the briefest of seconds and is unsurprised to see well-masked confusion in his eyes.
“That was months ago. I’m definitely over it,” he assures.
The demise of his relationship in New York had admittedly left a mark on him, making TK cautious about jumping in headfirst or seeking anything official. But he could say with full assurance that he felt nothing towards his ex and hasn’t thought about him either.
“What about you, Carlos?” Mateo pivots. “Bet you have good luck. Gotta fight the guys off with a stick, am I right?”
TK tries not to look overly interested, but his curiosity is certainly piqued.
“It’s hit or miss,” Carlos says as he continues to spot Paul.
Mateo scoffs. “You’re jacked like Thor. Smart like Banner. Friendly like Peter,” he rattles off on his fingers. “You’re just trying to make the rest of us feel better.”
“I’m flattered you think of me as a one man Avenger,” Carlos laughs with a shrug. “I don’t know, I haven’t had much luck when it comes to relationships. The men of Austin must not be into dating superheroes.”
Paul sits up and raises a brow. TK feels the hairs at the back of his neck stand at attention immediately.
“But you are seeing someone, right? Unless you’ve been getting mauled by a bear or something, I’d say someone’s responsible for those scratches you’ve been sporting,” Paul says, wiping sweat from his brow.
Carlos’ hand quickly flies to the nape of his neck, his eyes wide.
Mateo is grinning so widely he looks like the Cheshire Cat and TK is stuck trying his best not to look alarmed.
“Carlos, you sly dog. I knew you were holding out on us,” Mateo booms, holding out his hand to give him a low five.
Carlos ignores Mateo’s hand, his mouth opening and closing as he looks between Mateo and Paul.
“I…it’s casual,” Carlos says, schooling his features. “Let’s focus though, yeah? We’re here to talk about Paul, not me.”
“Way to throw me under the bus, man. That’s foul,” Paul jokes.
It’s enough to take the attention off of Carlos and TK can see the relief flood through him. He knows Carlos’ body well enough to read the tension and see it melt away bit by bit as the conversation switches back to Paul’s dating life.
TK breathes a bit easier too. Of course Paul would take notice even though they’ve been good at covering the marks they’ve been leaving on each other. TK can admit he’s been reckless, but it’s hard not to get carried away with Carlos.
“We need a guys’ night out. Let the ladies—and fellas—,” Mateo amends, “of Austin know we’re on the prowl.”
Paul throws a towel at him and laughs.
“I’m down though. It’ll be fun getting out there with you all. Who knows, maybe our luck will change.”
“TK? Carlos? You guys in, too?” Mateo asks.
TK meets Carlos’ eyes for a quick moment before they both focus back on the others.
“I’m in,” Carlos replies with a nonchalant shrug.
TK hates the thought of them being “on the prowl”, but for the sake of appearances, there’s no valid reason for him to say no.
“Yeah, me too,” he echoes weakly.
~*~*~
At the end of their shift that day, TK finds Carlos at the rig, washcloth in one hand as he cleans the fire engine alone. He’s got a determined look on his face and TK knows him well enough to tell something is on his mind and he’s looking to keep himself busy.
TK joins him, picking up a rag of his own. Carlos catches his eye and smiles at him. TK does his best not to melt on the spot at the sight of it.
He wonders if Carlos’ mind is taking him back to their first night together, what they got swept up in inside of this very truck they’re cleaning now. The irony doesn’t escape him.
“Can I ask you something?” Carlos says.
TK looks over at him, takes in the deep furrow of his brows. He lowers his hand at once and gives Carlos his full attention.
“Of course you can. What’s up?”
Carlos seems a little unsure of himself now that TK is focused on him. He shakes his head slightly.
“It’s really not my business, I know. But Paul mentioned someone back in New York? I was just wondering…is that something I should know about?”
TK frowns. Carlos deserves to know.
“Before my dad and I came down here, I was seeing a guy named Alex. Things were serious, but it ended pretty horribly and kind of made me swear off dating,” he says, giving the most comprehensive yet edited version of events he can muster up on the spot.
Carlos seems to sit with that for a moment.
“You guys have been down here for a while now. You haven’t dated since? Just hook ups?”
“Honestly? I haven’t even been interested in anyone. Except for you, of course,” he says, extra sure to keep his voice low. “I just…I don’t know if I’m ready for like, labels and all that after everything. Dating is kind of a nightmare. You’ve been through it too, right? Finding someone you feel ready to take a chance on is rare. Actually making it work is even harder. And he made me feel like..,” he trails off and shakes his head.
TK thinks back on the failed relationship that brought him to Austin in the first place. That had been one of the worst experiences of his life. TK had walked away from that relationship feeling as if he wasn’t worthwhile. He certainly hadn’t been enough to keep Alex interested or faithful, he thought. As much as he hates to admit it, it’s skewed the way he sees himself.
But as he looks at Carlos now, he can’t help but to feel a flicker of optimism in his stomach over what could be.
He and Carlos haven’t put a name to whatever this is between them and, if he’s being honest with himself, TK isn’t quite sure he can trust himself with something as good as Carlos’ heart long term. He’d be bound to find a way to ruin it and that’s not something he’s confident he can recover from. TK has been able to pick himself back up over the last few months. If this ends in disaster, there’s no way he’d be able to claw his way out. Carlos means too much to him.
He sighs and searches Carlos’ face.
“A part of me thinks I could get it right someday. I don’t really know though. I’ve gotten it so wrong in the past.”
Carlos doesn’t say anything and for the life of him, TK can’t even guess at what he must be thinking.
“We’ve never really talked about our dating histories before, have we?” Carlos says after a beat.
TK frowns and looks away. Things have been so good with Carlos, he hasn’t really wanted to look behind him but rather march forward.
“We don’t have to,” TK says. “I hate thinking about New York. Life has turned around for me a ton here in Austin,” he continues, letting his hand discreetly brush against Carlos’. “Thanks mostly to you. I’m really glad you transferred. I’m really glad that I know you. Between you and the rest of the crew, you guys have made this place feel like home…especially you.”
Carlos smiles softly at this. TK watches his chest expand as he draws in a deep breath before getting back to cleaning. TK follows suit, neither of them saying anything further.
“Reyes! TK! Y’all polish that thing much longer, there ain’t gonna be much paint left. Hit the showers. It’s time to go,” Judd calls from across the floor, dressed in his civilian clothes, his duffel bag hooked on his shoulder.
Carlos sets the rag in his hand down.
“You heard the man,” Carlos says. “Time to wash up.”
Carlos’ eyes track his body and TK feels his pulse quicken. It sounds an awful lot like an invitation to something they absolutely shouldn’t be engaging in at work, especially during the day.
Carlos steps away and TK, too stunned to move just then, watches him head off towards the locker room. Belatedly, TK takes a step to follow, but is derailed as his father appears.
“Will you be ready soon?” Owen asks.
TK’s eyes trail after Carlos before focusing back on his dad.
“You go ahead without me. I don’t feel like heading straight home just yet.”
His father studies him for a moment.
“Everything okay?”
TK nods. “Yeah, no worries. I promise. I might just hit the weight room for a bit.”
Owen nods once and pats him on the shoulder.
“Alright then. I’ll see you when you get in.”
TK lets out a relieved breath as he watches his father leave and he makes an immediate beeline after Carlos.
When he arrives, the locker room is empty. He can hear running water in the showers a few feet away. TK undresses quickly, wraps a towel around his hips and grabs his shower caddy.
The showers are dead quiet aside from Carlos’ stall and the water stemming from it. It calls to him like a siren.
He knocks quietly on the shower door, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one has come in. He turns back quickly as Carlos opens the door.
It’s very hard to worry about anything else when he’s staring at Carlos’ wet, naked body. His eyes drink in everything at once, from the sopping curls to the droplets racing down his torso. It makes TK harden beneath his towel as he swallows thickly.
Carlos smirks like he knows, though TK supposes it’s obvious. Carlos has had quite the effect on him since day one.
“Come here,” Carlos says quietly, hooking his fingers into TK’s towel. He pulls him inside by the waist, closing back the shower door.
TK's heart is full-on jackhammering as Carlos tugs the towel loose and hangs it up.
He can’t think, let alone speak, as Carlos walks over slowly to him, his eyes raking over his body. It makes TK antsy to touch him; he doesn’t hesitate once Carlos is near enough.
He snakes his arms around Carlos’ waist, dropping the caddy and kissing him hard. Carlos’ hands venture down his back and to his ass. TK gasps against his lips as Carlos squeezes him roughly and presses their hips together. Carlos grinds down on him, his hard cock meeting with TK’s own. He shivers despite the warmth of the water running down his body.
“What about the B team?” TK whispers, some small ray of common sense trickling through the fog in his mind.
Carlos shrugs, trailing his fingertips down TK’s torso. TK clutches the man’s hips to stay steady.
“Guess you’ll just have to be very, very quiet then, now won’t you? Don’t give them a reason to come looking.”
The thought of getting caught should terrify him, should make him exercise some modicum of sensibility.
But Carlos’ lips are at his neck, his tongue dancing on his skin and TK couldn’t care less if anyone sees them now. If he’s being honest, the thought of being seen kind of—definitely—turns him on. His arms drape over Carlos’ shoulders, his fingers twining in his hair as the man begins to kiss him. He opens his mouth to Carlos, sucks softly on his tongue as they both grind against each other.
Never in his wildest dreams did he think Carlos could ever be this reckless during waking hours, but he’s grateful for whatever wild streak has apparently possessed him this evening. He supposes after their first hookup being in a fire truck, they’ve long since thrown being responsible out of the window. But this feels like far more of a gamble. It’s a risk he’s willing to take, however.
Carlos thrusts forward sharply and TK is forced to bite back the moan that threatens to come out. It gets trapped, a wounded sound, in his throat.
“Good boy,” Carlos says approvingly in the small space between their lips.
TK shudders against him at the praise. Carlos knows him too well now, understands perfectly how to get under his skin with two simple words.
He kisses Carlos heatedly, pouring everything he can’t say just then into it.
All too soon, Carlos is pulling away. TK pouts and tries to pull him in closer by the hips. Carlos simply shakes his head and turns TK around. Only then does Carlos return to his body, pressing him up against the wall.
“I have something else in mind for you,” he whispers, his breath caressing his ear gently with such a lethal promise.
TK doesn’t ask any questions. This position can only mean one thing and he prays his assumption is correct. It’s proven to be right just a moment later as Carlos gets the cloth between his cheeks and begins to clean him.
“Carlos,” he murmurs at the feel of the man’s fingertips gently brushing his rim.
His forehead thuds softly onto the tiles as Carlos’ lips latch on to the juncture between his neck and his shoulder and sucks. TK’s eyes squeeze shut, his cock heavy between his legs as Carlos keeps up his ministrations until TK hears the distinct sound of the washcloth meeting the ground.
“Remember. Not a sound,” Carlos says against his ear. Though his voice is quiet, there’s so much authority in it. All TK wants to do is obey.
TK’s jaw clenches, his palms splaying across the tiles as he attempts to clear his mind enough to focus.
Carlos kisses down the valley of the spine and it’s truly a wonder to TK that he’s even still standing. His knees feel weak, his body practically boneless as Carlos drops to his knees behind him. The first touch of Carlos’ hands to his ass sends a jolt through his entire body.
They’ve barely even started. How is he meant to survive this? Without making a sound, no less?
TK nearly gives away the game as the tip of Carlos’ tongue circles his rim. His mouth hangs open at once, eyes watering as Carlos licks his way into him. TK rocks back, gently riding his tongue.
He lowers his hand to his leaking cock, biting hard into the soft flesh of his lower lip as he begins to jerk off. Carlos licks into him with such precision it takes the air out of TK’s lungs. He gives himself a tight squeeze, his legs shaking as he fights to stay in control of himself.
He wants to scream, whine, beg for more, but he can’t do anything other than keep his responses bottled up. He’s never been too good at that and this is a test of his willpower like no other.
Carlos’ tongue is relentless, delving inside him and searching, exploring, taking him apart so acutely it makes TK feel delirious. TK quickens his pace on himself, his hand twisting and turning against his length. He lets out a shaky breath, the tension in his stomach knotting tightly.
It’s excruciating to stay quiet. Tears run down his face, a sob that can’t escape sitting dormant and burning in his chest. If they were back at Carlos’ place now, he’d be able to sing the man’s praises at full volume. Instead, all he can do now is tighten his grip on his own cock and swallow down the instinctual sounds his body desperately wants to make.
His legs tremble, his knees liable to give out at any second as his orgasm flares up and overtakes him at once. Carlos’ strong hands are rough as they knead his ass, spreading him wider as he continues to prod and suck.
TK almost shouts, but catches it quickly, just a broken whimper taking its place as he comes all over his fist.
Carlos doesn’t let up, his tongue curling in his ass as he rides out the wave. He grinds back onto Carlos’ tongue, chasing every bit of the high as his orgasm washes over him. TK keeps his face rested against the shower wall as his brain comes back online slowly.
He isn’t even aware that Carlos has gotten up until he feels the man pressed up on him, all hard muscle and warmth as he settles his chin on TK’s shoulder.
“You did so well. I’m impressed.”
TK shudders, his legs feeling far more like jelly than anything else.
“I wanted to be good,” he hiccups, blood still rushing loudly in his ears.
Carlos rubs his side and kisses his shoulder twice and the space just under his ear. TK sighs at the intimacy of his touch and kisses.
“And you were. So, so good and beautiful for me, TK. I’m proud of you. You were amazing.”
TK closes his eyes at this, elated with the praise. He hadn’t even thought himself capable of staying quiet. But whatever Carlos asks of him, TK will always be determined to make it happen.
Carlos turns him around to face forward again. TK’s eyes drift down to Carlos’ spent cock before looking back up at him.
“You were busy,” he notes, his voice completely shot.
“I’m good at multitasking,” he says with a half smile. “You have no idea what it does to me, seeing you like that,” he continues, shaking his head. “It’s the sexiest thing ever.”
He leans in and gives TK a soft kiss on his forehead, brushing his cheek with the pad of his thumb. TK smiles to himself at the gesture, one hand on Carlos’ hip as the man speaks.
“Let me get you cleaned up and take you home, okay?”
TK nods and lets Carlos direct him, too spent to even speak anymore. He’s swallowed back so many moans and whimpers, TK doubts he even has a voice left.
With gentle hands, Carlos cleans him and TK is struck, certainly not for the first time since they started hooking up, at how much range Carlos possesses.
One moment they can engage in the hottest and filthiest scenarios he’s ever experienced, and in the next, Carlos handles him with such care like he’s something precious.
With Carlos, he could have it all. TK feels sick with want.
~*~*~
As they step into the club Carlos suggested, TK can see why Carlos had sworn by this place. Admittedly, TK hasn’t given Austin that much credit, stuck in his thinking that New York was a far more fun city.
Their first stop for guys’ night had been to the 126’s usual dive bar, but it was clear very early on that they’d need a much livelier setting. Carlos recommended one of his go-tos, an LGBTQ+ spot he enjoyed but hadn’t had much chance to visit recently.
It sounded like a good option to everyone as the honky tonk had been a bust. From the music and lights bouncing off the walls and crowd of beautiful people surrounding them, TK takes back every doubt he’s harbored that Austin was no match for his hometown’s nightlife.
The guys are able to secure a small table, the four of them crowding around and people-watching as they acclimate to the energy in the room. It feels electric and alive with possibilities.
“Good choice,” TK says to Carlos.
“Yeah, you sure we’re still in Austin?” Paul jokes.
Carlos rolls his eyes playfully.
“You guys have been doing this city all wrong since you got here. You’re lucky I’m around now to teach you a thing or two,” he teases.
Paul scoffs good naturedly, but TK can’t help but to find deeper truth in Carlos’ words.
“I need a water,” he says.
“I’ll come with you,” Paul replies.
They make their way over to the bar where a beautiful lady wiggles her fingertips in greeting to Paul from the other side. TK in turn wiggles his brows mischievously at Paul as he flags the bartender and they order.
“We’ve been here all of five minutes and you’re already luring them in,” he muses as the bartender steps away.
Paul rolls his eyes, but TK sees him look back at the woman who keeps him in her sights. The bartender returns and sets their drinks down.
“I’m heading to the table. You, go get her number or at the very least, her name and a dance.”
He gives Paul a gentle push and sends him on his way, smiling to himself as he discretely watches Paul. Whatever he’s saying to this lady is working as she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and tips her head towards the dance floor.
TK grabs his water and returns to the table where Mateo has somehow acquired a glow stick necklace in his absence and is bouncing along to the music with such enthusiasm, TK knows it’s going to be hell dragging him out of here when they’re ready to leave.
TK is practically itching to get out on the dance floor, the three of them ditching their table in favor of dancing. They bump into Paul and the girl from the bar, Mateo grinning from ear to ear at the sight of them.
It feels good to cut loose, though it’s extremely difficult not to just throw his arms around Carlos with the other guys so distracted now. The way the lights bounce off of Carlos as he moves to the beat is intoxicating.
It’s impossible not to stare and TK knows he’s not alone in that sentiment. He’s all too aware of how many guys in this room are taking notice of Carlos. He can’t blame them, necessarily. But he sure does begin to feel bothered by it nonetheless.
He does his best to tune it out and dares to get as close to Carlos as he can without being conspicuous. He can still feel the stares even though Carlos keeps his eyes on him throughout each song change.
They eventually reclaim their table which surprisingly hasn’t been poached in all their time on the dance floor.
“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want anything?” Carlos asks.
TK shakes his head and watches Carlos maneuver through the crowd, his broad shoulders impressively clearing space for him to pass. Paul rejoins them and Mateo is quick to ask for details about the girl he was with. TK tries to focus on them. It’ll do him no good thinking about Carlos’ body now.
This sage advice only lasts for a few seconds at a time as TK’s gaze keeps wandering back over to Carlos who is now standing at the bar, getting the bartender’s attention. He places his order with her and is apparently too wrapped up in the task to notice a man approaching him. TK feels like he’s watching NatGeo with the way this guy locks Carlos in his sights and seeks him out.
Try as he might not to care, TK feels uneasy with what he’s seeing. Physically, this stranger has a lot of the same characteristics as him: similar build, hair color, even a mutual appreciation for bold print short sleeved button downs.
In another life it would be comical to see this doppelgänger of sorts that clearly has the same taste in guys as him. But watching it in real time now, it troubles TK to think that if Carlos has been drawn to him this whole time, there’s a possibility he’d take an interest in this other guy too.
Suddenly the room feels too cramped, but he’s powerless to do anything other than stealthily look on as the man settles in beside Carlos and strikes up a conversation.
Carlos shakes his head at the guy, and laughs at something he says. It’s clear, even from a distance, that this stranger is working hard to keep Carlos’ focus on him. TK hates the fact that it seems to be working.
Carlos doesn’t move off or cut the conversation short. He’s replying now and the other guy seems enthralled by whatever he’s saying.
TK stabs at the ice in his glass with his straw and looks away. He’s seen all that he can bear to and it’s enough to make him feel sick.
By the time TK dials back into what Paul and Mateo are saying, he finds it difficult to follow along with their conversation. Luck is on his side; with them being on the other side of the table and the club as a whole so rowdy, neither of the guys seems to notice.
TK tenses as someone comes up beside him. He doesn’t need to look over to know it’s Carlos. He’s far too attuned to his body now.
“You okay?” Carlos asks, leaning in a bit to be heard over the music.
It’s then that TK finally glances at him.
“Peachy,” he says, plastering on a smile.
He sets his glass down before pushing off from the table.
“I’ll be right back,” he says to the table at large, gesturing to the bathrooms before taking off.
He hates how moody he’s being, how short he was with Carlos over something that’s truly not his fault and is more than likely just in his own head.
What he wants now is some kind of a solace, a moment to get his head on straight and be alone for a little bit.
He bumps into so many people in his pursuit of the restroom, mumbling apologies as he goes. He just has to keep his feet moving.
TK feels a hand at the hem of his shirt; a gentle tug of the material stops him in his tracks and he turns. Carlos’ expression is hard to decipher. TK isn’t given much time to parse it as he’s pulled into the bathroom at once.
The music from the club is much more muted now behind the door. There’s no other sound in the room and it makes TK keenly aware of how heavily he’s breathing and how hard his heart is pounding.
Carlos stands before him now, his eyes fixed to his face as he speaks.
“Hey, what’s going on with you tonight?” Carlos asks gently.
TK crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head, avoiding Carlos’ gaze.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
Carlos steps closer to him just then, his hands settling on TK’s biceps. TK hates how needy he’s clearly been for Carlos’ touch all evening. He fights the urge to shiver at the warmth and familiarity of Carlos’ hands, doing his best to ignore how much he wants to feel him all over.
It has sucked, quite frankly, spending so much time taking in Austin’s nightlife and being unable to so much as hold Carlos’ hand all evening.
They’ve been together this whole time yet still, TK misses him.
It’s getting much harder than he’d been anticipating to go about public life acting as if he and Carlos aren’t intimate, as if some very real part of Carlos hasn’t latched itself to his heart. It’s all so confusing and so much more than TK can really pick through right now. All he knows is, he’s upset and frustrated. But Carlos is touching him for the first time all night and that’s enough to get him to steady his breathing and relax a bit.
“Look at me. Please?” Carlos presses.
It takes TK a few seconds, but he relents and finds Carlos with the most curious of expressions on his face.
“Seriously, what are you thinking right now? Are you mad at me?”
TK frowns, shaking his head and looks down again.
“No, of course not. It’s…I don’t know. It’s stupid.”
Carlos cups his cheek and gently forces his gaze.
“If it’s affecting you like this, it can’t be. Just talk to me, sweetheart. You can tell me anything. You know that.”
TK sighs and bites back on his lower lip, trying to piece together his thoughts and staunchly ignore the way his heart skips a beat at the pet name.
“I got…jealous seeing that guy hitting on you at the bar. It—I shouldn’t even be upset, but I didn’t like it. I just wanted to tell him to fuck off…to get him the hell away from you. So many guys have been looking at you all night. I—”
TK swallows hard and grinds his teeth. This all sounds so ridiculous and childish, but it’s too late now to backpedal.
“I don’t have a right to act like this. You’re free to talk to or hook up with whoever you want to. That was the point of tonight, right? To put ourselves out there and meet people?”
The thought makes TK sick to his stomach to consider, but it’s the truth. Carlos isn’t his; they aren’t exclusive. TK definitely didn’t go into this guys’ night hoping to find anyone. But if Carlos wanted to, he’d respect that, no matter how much it hurts to think about.
“I’m not used to being casual,” Carlos says slowly. “This has never been my speed. If we had talked about it earlier, I would have told you that. Maybe I should have regardless,” Carlos mumbles.
He draws in a deep breath as TK stays in place, unsure of where this conversation is leading.
“I don’t want to hook up with some random guy just because he happened to make me laugh for two seconds. I haven’t been seeing anyone else since we started…,” Carlos trails off and shakes his head. “Maybe you have, I don't know. We’ve never talked this out.”
Carlos looks down briefly.
“You’re the one I want to leave here with tonight…every night. I don’t know what this is, but I like being with you.”
Carlos pinches his lips together and looks away again. TK feels like the biggest jerk in the world. Of course this actually means something to Carlos too. It feels like a lot to process all at once, but it’s good to hear.
He takes a step forward and holds onto Carlos’ hand, linking their fingers.
“I’m sorry for being such an ass.”
Carlos glances back at him then and shakes his head.
“You aren’t. This is tricky. Tonight’s been testing my patience too. I don’t like seeing other guys checking you out or flirting with you either,” Carlos says, kissing his forehead. “Trust me, I get it.”
Carlos pulls in a breath and sighs.
“Really?” TK asks, unable to hide his disbelief.
Carlos’ brows furrow deeply.
“That surprises you? Need I remind you of my shameful behavior with that poor bartender a few weeks back? Not exactly my finest moment.”
TK hadn’t put much thought to it after they’d returned to the stands. But he remembers how Carlos had been in bed that night, almost as if staking some claim to TK in actions.
“I really like you, TK. I don’t ever want that to be a secret to you.”
TK doesn’t want them to be a secret anymore, but he keeps his mouth shut. There are certain things he can’t say and now most definitely isn’t the time or place.
“I really like you too,” is all he can manage to say back.
Carlos still looks a bit troubled.
“We’re okay,” TK assures, reaching up a hand massaging Carlos’ neck.
He can feel the tension in the other man’s body lessen bit by bit.
Carlos nods. “Good.”
TK kisses him softly and this seems to relax Carlos most of all as he melts against TK’s frame and kisses him back. A good kiss is enough to recalibrate them. As they pull away from each other, TK feels far steadier than when they first entered the room.
“We should head back out,” Carlos says, resting his forehead against TK’s.
TK takes a moment to cling to this alone time, even if they are in arguably the least desirable location possible right now.
He plays softly with Carlos’ hair and gives him one last kiss before they head for the door.
TK’s stomach fills with dread with each step they take. Once they cross the threshold, they’ll be entering back into a world where they have to pretend.
He wishes he could stay in their private bubble forever, where everything is just as he wants it to be.
~*~*~
TK can’t sleep that night.
He picks up his phone, his eyes squinting against the bright light as he pulls up his messages from Carlos. The time in the corner tells him he should have been asleep hours ago. It’s not enough to stop him from typing up a text. Carlos won’t see it until morning anyway, but he needs to get these thoughts out of his head now.
TK: I keep replaying tonight over and over. I know we said we’re cool, but I’m still really sorry for acting like that. I haven’t liked someone like this in…a very long time. You matter to me in a way I wasn’t ready for. I don’t exactly know what to do with what I’m feeling.
TK sighs and sets his phone down after hitting send, the regret immediate. He can only picture what Carlos’ reaction will be in the morning, seeing these random 3am ramblings first thing. TK buries his face in his hands and groans. He startles as the bed vibrates with an incoming text.
Carlos: I wasn’t expecting someone like you either. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. I just need to know if you’re sure you want to keep doing this.
If you aren’t, that’s okay.
There’s no pressure either way.
TK stares at the messages, struck by the fact that Carlos is even still awake right now. Has he been kept up by these thoughts too? Replaying tonight in his head? TK debates for a moment as to whether he should call him up, but he decides against it. He feels bolder saying this through text. If he were to try to say any of this out loud, TK isn’t so sure he’d be brave enough to do it.
TK: I can’t give you up. I don’t want to. I wish I did have some answers though. I’m sorry. All I know is that I like being around you.
I haven’t been seeing anyone else either, by the way.
I should have said that earlier.
It’s only been you this whole time.
I want to keep it that way. For it to just be us.
TK chews on his bottom lip as he sees Carlos beginning to type. But the three dots appear and disappear repeatedly. It almost makes him regret not calling now. Perhaps he’d have better luck at knowing what Carlos is struggling to say.
Carlos: Thanks for letting me know. I’d like that too.
TK stares at his phone, brought up short by how brief Carlos’ text is. He sees the other man is typing again and hope blooms that he’ll say more. It wilts quickly as the message comes through.
Carlos: Get some sleep, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.
~*~*~
Last night’s conversation left a bad taste in TK’s mouth. It’s made all the worse by how closed off Carlos appears today. He didn’t greet TK with his usual warm smile but rather a halfhearted uptick of his mouth that actually looked forced and painful.
Today has been a series of back to back calls, a true test of the 126’s endurance and focus. TK tries to tell himself that’s why Carlos isn’t his normal self, but it feels personal when he sees Carlos able to joke here and there with the others.
Carlos feels distant and TK isn’t quite sure how to bridge that gap between them. The divide came in under the cover of darkness, leaving TK without a clear idea of how to battle against it.
“Nice job out there,” TK says as the 126 packs up after responding to a fire in an apartment complex.
Carlos truly had been great, saving a young girl from where she was miraculously okay after having been trapped inside her bedroom. Her parents were in tears thanking Carlos the second he appeared with her in his arms.
Carlos looks at him and mumbles a quiet word of thanks.
TK frowns, suddenly feeling itchy under all of his gear.
“Are you alright?” he tries again.
Carlos takes his helmet off and TK can feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight of the man’s curls, matted down in some places and sticking up in others. It’s adorable, to say the least. Only Carlos could pull off helmet hair this well.
He almost says as much, but Carlos’ expression is closed off. TK gets the sense he isn’t in a joking mood.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
TK’s brows furrow. He steps closer to Carlos, his voice low as he speaks.
“Is this about last night?”
TK reaches for his hand, but Carlos pulls it away.
“We’ll talk later, okay?”
TK is ready to object, pushing past the sick feeling in his stomach over his rejected attempt to touch Carlos when he hears voices behind him.
His father and Marjan approach, closely followed by the others. TK looks back at Carlos in time to see him retreating to the truck. TK stands there for a moment, looking at Carlos’ surname on his turnout until he disappears inside the truck.
He lets the others go ahead of him, ensuring he won’t get seated close to Carlos on their drive. It isn’t much, but Carlos clearly wants space and TK is too scared of making that sudden need permanent.
Back at the station, things still feel off. TK keeps his distance as Carlos hits the weight room with Marjan and Mateo. He figures it’ll be much easier to sort his thoughts without watching Carlos work up a sweat and staunchly ignore him like he has managed to do all shift.
TK joins Paul on the ground floor instead as the man works on folding laundry.
“Need a hand?” he volunteers.
Paul nods and tosses him a shirt from the top of the pile. TK is immediately glad to keep his hands busy, but his mind still wanders to Carlos and the unease that’s now expanding between them.
“Thanks for last night,” Paul says. “I appreciated you all coming out.”
TK smiles. “Of course. What are friends for, right?”
He reaches for another shirt.
“Yeah…friends. Speaking of which. You and Carlos,” Paul says. “What’s the deal there?”
TK’s face flushes, caught completely off guard.
Paul holds up his hands.
“Look, I’m not trying to pry and that the segue wasn’t nearly as smooth as I was hoping it’d be but… It’s just—last night, I couldn’t help but notice some kind of tension. And today, you guys have barely said a word to each other. Since he transferred here, you two have gotten pretty damn close. There’s always been a vibe and I’ve been picking up on some things.”
The urge to lay it all out is overwhelming, but this isn’t his secret alone to tell— even if Paul has very clearly clocked the fact that they’ve been hooking up, or at the very least are less than average coworkers. He won’t betray Carlos’ confidence.
“We’re just friends. I don’t—I don’t know. We hang out a lot and it’s been really nice getting to know him.”
Paul nods to himself and TK relaxes.
“But you like him as more than a friend.”
It isn’t a question. TK supposes that’s fair. He feels as if he’s halfway to loving Carlos already. TK figures such a thing leaves a trace that can be seen by anyone.
“I do. Very much. So much that it kind of scares me sometimes.”
There’s little use in denying it; at least this he can fess up to. And it feels good to finally have the words live outside of his head after all these weeks.
“But I don’t know what to do about it. I’m all over the place and I don’t want to wreck what we have by saying too much, so, it’s fine.”
Paul shakes his head, grabbing another shirt to fold.
“You could make it better by telling him everything.”
TK looks over at Paul quickly at this.
“I don’t know what the whole story is between you guys and honestly, it really doesn’t matter. It’s obvious you all have a connection. I caught that early on and from what I’ve been seeing since, it’s only been growing stronger. If whatever this is between you guys matters that much to you, define it. Let him know where you stand because I don’t think you’re in that place alone at all.”
I don’t know what this is, but I like being with you, Carlos had said.
TK has already fallen. Maybe it isn’t too far-fetched to think Carlos has in the exact same way too.
~*~*~
TK knocks three times on Carlos’ front door and runs the palm of his hand against the front of his jeans. For all his visits to Carlos’ place, he’s never been anxious before. Excited, eager, horny, yes. But never uneasy. Never afraid of what state he’ll find Carlos in on the other side of the door. Or fear that his presence isn’t a welcomed thing.
Turning up unannounced after their shift probably isn’t the best strategy, but delaying this conversation is what’s gotten them into this awkwardness in the first place, he knows.
The door opens and instantly Carlos’ brows furrow in confusion at the sight of TK on his step.
“Sorry for showing up like this. I just—I think we need to talk.”
Carlos’ expression grows grim, his eyes casting about TK’s face as if he can find an answer to what this is about there.
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“Everything is okay, I promise,” TK reassures, taking hold of one of his hands and bringing it to his chest.
TK takes comfort in the fact that Carlos doesn’t recoil at his touch nor has he sent him away.
Instead, Carlos visibly relaxes at this and takes a step back to let TK in. TK leads them over to the couch and his mind runs back to the first time he came over here, how hot and heavy things were.
When all of this started, it was purely physical, but TK’s been falling hard along the way and finding such a deeper meaning in their connection.
Looking at Carlos now, he’s not sure how else he thought this would have ended up.
“You said things are alright, but you’re starting to make me nervous again,” Carlos says.
TK blinks twice and clears his throat. “I just got lost in my thoughts for a sec.”
“Care to let me into your head a little then?”
This seemed easier to talk about in theory, but TK reminds himself of the fact even if Carlos views their dynamic differently, if for some reason he doesn’t want more after everything, he’ll let him down easily.
“Am I what you want?” he asks. Carlos looks confused for a moment. “I mean…God, this already isn’t coming out right.”
TK sighs and tries again.
“You don’t do casual, but that’s all we’ve been so far. I’m wondering, are you really happy with this? I’ve been thinking a lot about our talks recently and realizing how much I’ve been failing to see things through your eyes, what you’ve been hinting at all this time.”
He searches Carlos’ eyes and sees worry in them as if TK is getting too close to uncovering something he’d rather keep hidden. TK can’t help but to push it for that very same reason.
“You want more than what I’ve been giving you.”
Carlos looks away, his brows furrowing. He’s quiet for a moment. TK doesn’t rush him to say anything, just sits alongside him and lets Carlos sort through what he’s thinking.
“On one hand, I am happy because I get to be with you and that’s what I want. But I do wonder…what exactly are we? Neither of us wants the other to be with someone else. We haven’t been with anyone else and don’t care to be. We talk about personal things, we hang out all the time,” he says, stopping short there for a second.
“Sounds an awful lot to me like a relationship, but you don’t date and I don’t know where that leaves us. So yeah, I’ve been making do with what I can even if I don’t know what to call it. I don’t really know how to read this. So, I guess I just wanted the option that let me have you.”
TK closes his eyes briefly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Carlos shakes his head. “It’s on me too. I should have spoken up. We kind of stumbled into this. I don’t think either of us knew what we were getting into…or just how serious it would get. At least that's what it’s been like for me.”
TK reaches for Carlos’ hand.
“It’s been you this whole time in every sense for me. I honestly meant that. Carlos, I—,” TK draws in a breath and squares his shoulders. “I know it’s right with you. I’m just terrified of screwing up because if I mess this up, and I lose you, I don’t think I could ever bounce back from that.”
It sounds pathetic to his own ears, but Carlos deserves his honesty.
“There’s a version of me that you haven’t met yet. And I don’t know how much that’ll change what you’re feeling right now. But you have me. God, Carlos, you’ve had me right from the start.”
Carlos searches face and moves closer to him. TK’s gaze doesn’t falter. He’s been laying it all on the table from the moment they sat down and has no intentions of leaving here without making everything he’s been feeling clear.
“I can’t imagine there’s a side of you I won’t adore. Whatever it is, I’m staying put,” Carlos says. “As long as you’re in this, I am too.”
TK’s eyes close for a second as he lets Carlos’ words seep in. When he looks at him again, Carlos hasn’t wavered.
“That very first night…you said you don’t want to jeopardize your place on the crew or have any of the others find out. I get that. I respect it. Hell, I agreed at the time too. But now…well now, I’m not worried about them knowing. Are you? Because I don’t want to be the guy you occasionally hook up with. I want to be your boyfriend,” TK says quietly.
A wide smile overtakes Carlos’ face. He leans in and rests his forehead against TK’s, stroking his cheek.
“Boyfriends. Yes, please. I want official dates. I want that title and everything that comes with it, so badly,” he says.
Carlos presses his lips to his and at once, TK’s mind quiets as it always does when he’s this close to Carlos. Now, more than ever, there’s nothing holding him back from chasing after this completely. He deepens the kiss, fingers threading through Carlos’ hair and tugging sharply. He delights in the moan that echoes out of him, feels it right between his legs at once.
TK nips at Carlos’ bottom lip before getting up from the couch, one hand extended. Carlos takes it with ease, lacing their fingers as TK leads them up the stairs to Carlos’ room.
It’s all so second nature, yet another reminder how effortlessly they’ve been blending into each other’s worlds since that late night down at the station that officially changed everything.
TK backs him up against a wall once they enter the bedroom and kisses Carlos as he undoes his jeans. He gets down on his knees, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along Carlos’ body as he goes. He mouths against Carlos’ erection through his boxer briefs once he’s on level, focusing pointedly on the wet patch already formed there.
Above him, Carlos mutters under his breath, his fingers gently carding through the front of TK’s hair. TK is diligent, his tongue teasing even through the barrier of cloth.
TK’s fingers hook into the waist of Carlos’ boxer briefs and glides the material down, his mouth watering at once at the sight of Carlos fully erect and leaking right before him. He peers up, noting the darkness and hunger in Carlos’ eyes.
Carlos angles TK’s head, keeps one hand tucked under TK’s chin. He guides TK to open his mouth with his thumb. TK can’t look away, watching with a growing need as white beads pearl at Carlos’ tip.
Carlos sighs lightly as he looks down at him.
“You still drive me absolutely crazy.”
TK smiles at this callback to their very first night together. In all the weeks since, TK still has a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that he could have any impact at all on Carlos. But he refuses to question it or trade it for anything in the world.
He remains obediently in place, eager for whatever will come next. He watches as a smooth glide of Carlos’ hand against his shaft gets another spurt at the head of his cock, right into TK’s waiting mouth.
A tremor goes through TK’s body as the first drop of cum touches his tongue, hot and so distinctly Carlos. TK is quick to swallow it down.
Carlos curses under his breath as TK peers up at him expectantly. Carlos pets his hair, threads his fingers through, letting his nails lightly scratch his scalp. He tugs sharply at the hair on the crown of his head. The move makes TK’s cock twitch at once.
“You want more, huh?”
TK’s face is serious as he holds his gaze and says, “I want it all.”
Carlos curses again softly and resumes stroking himself, stepping closer still and slowly feeding TK his cock. TK simply slackens his jaw to take him as far as he can. Carlos’ mouth falls open, fingers gripping tighter on TK’s hair.
TK swallows around him, his head bobbing as he lets out moan after moan, his cheeks hollowing.
TK mouth is a mess of both their fluids. He can feel the blend running down his chin, but he doesn’t care. His only objective now is to bring Carlos to a blissful and satisfying finish.
Carlos’ body sags against the wall, but TK holds on to the back of his thighs to support him. Carlos is mere moments away, he knows, this man—his boyfriend—fucking steadily into his mouth. Carlos’ moans grow sharper, his fingers grasping more firmly onto TK’s hair. His body shakes and it’s so addictive, TK savors it all.
His cock is heavy between his legs, but he doesn’t even think to touch himself. His sole focus remains to be Carlos. His tongue laps dutifully against his cock as he massages Carlos’ balls and that’s the tipping point.
Carlos comes with TK’s name on his lips, his face flushed as he spills into TK’s mouth. TK takes it all, doesn’t bat so much as an eyelash as he swallows down his boyfriend’s release.
“Oh my god,” Carlos pants, his eyes fixed on TK.
TK slips him out of his mouth, wiping at his chin with the back of his hand.
Carlos’ lashes are wet as he strokes TK’s face and breathes heavily.
“Come here,” he croaks and TK stands up at once.
Carlos pulls TK into him immediately, arms wrapping around his body as he presses their chests flush together. He kisses TK heatedly and walks them over to the bed, lowering himself down first to let TK settle on top of him. TK delights in the journey Carlos’ hands take in running down his chest to his hips.
Carlos undresses him, kissing him in between as each article of clothing is removed until they’re both naked and pressed together once again. TK feels Carlos shudder against him as his erection brushes up against Carlos’ cock.
TK shivers in return at the feel of Carlos’ roaming his body, down his back and to his ass. He lets Carlos touch him as he pleases, but he grows curious.
“What do you want right now?” he asks softly.
Carlos bites on the corner of his lower lip and avoids his gaze. The move makes TK all the more intrigued.
“You don’t ever have to be shy about what you want,” TK says, kissing down the length of his neck briefly. “Especially with me.”
Carlos looks at him then and grips his hips. TK can’t help but to rock forward instinctively. Carlos sighs.
“I want to watch you touch yourself,” he says, brushing hair off of TK’s forehead. “I want to watch you come and I want you to mark me when you do it. Can you do that for me?”
TK traces his fingers along Carlos’ jaw and nods. Not only can he do that, but TK knows he’ll relish in every second of it. He takes a hold of himself, watching Carlos’ eyes darken at once. TK grinds his ass to Carlos’ cock. His eyes roll shut at the feel. The night is only just getting started; he knows he’ll be able to have Carlos inside him later.
For right now, he’s got direct marching orders and TK has every intention of making this as pleasurable for Carlos as humanly possible.
His eyes meet Carlos’ and it’s clear as day from the way this man looks at him that he’s so deeply wanted, cherished even. To think he almost ran the risk of depriving them of official titles, of claiming all of this that’s just been waiting for him.
Carlos rubs his palms against TK’s thighs as he begins to jerk himself off. TK bites back on his lower lip as he takes in Carlos’ expression, seeing how fully aroused he is by this. His eyes are practically dark slits now, focused solely on him.
TK can feel Carlos harden under him as he goes, soft murmurs falling from both of their lips as TK continues. TK’s face heats up as Carlos calls him beautiful, his boyfriend’s hands outlining his body and up to his chest. His thumbs rub gently against his nipples and TK can’t help the whimper that escapes him.
Carlos’ touch has always been unparalleled, but there’s something to this now, essentially putting himself on display, that’s making TK all the more sensitive to it.
Carlos pinches his nipples, rolling the hardened nubs between his fingers. TK cries out in pleasure, grinding his ass harder against Carlos’ cock as he picks up the pace on himself, his eyes rolling shut.
He’s overstimulated in the best way possible. His cock is leaking, his fingers slick against his shaft, but he doesn’t break his stride. He opens his eyes and keeps them locked on Carlos, aroused by the hunger in his gaze. He'll never grow tired of how connected he feels to him.
“So hot,” Carlos breathes approvingly. TK feels as if he’s on a different plane of existence entirely now.
He gets up on his knees, his free hand holding onto the headboard to keep himself steady. He pumps his hand faster yet, feeling himself tipping closer to the edge.
“You’re right there, babe,” Carlos coaxes, twisting TK’s nipples one last time.
TK lets out his sharpest cry yet and comes hard, showering Carlos’ chest and stomach with his release. His hand doesn’t let up, wrist flicking back and forth to work every last drop out of himself.
Carlos writhes against the sheets, moaning TK’s name, so thoroughly turned on it only adds to TK’s sense of relief in finishing.
TK shudders, his breath catching in his throat as he reaches his end. Carlos rubs his back and sits up to kiss him. TK gets his fingers in Carlos’ hair, whimpering softly against his lips.
Carlos pulls back and flops back against the bed, his chest still glistening with TK’s release. TK stares in awe, unable to wrap his head around the fact that he gets to have this.
“Yours,” Carlos says quietly, seeming to read his mind.
TK pulls his gaze away from his chest and to his face again.
“This works both ways. I’m all yours too, Reyes. No take backs.”
Carlos smiles widely at this and sits up again to kiss him. TK gets swept up in it immediately, his nails scratching down Carlos’ back as he slips his tongue into his boyfriend’s mouth and explores for a few moments. TK’s mind is practically buzzing, his whole body hot and sweaty. It’s hard to even think.
“I’ll be right back,” TK says against Carlos’ lips, stealing one quick kiss before getting off of him.
Carlos settles back against the bed and ruffles his curls, taking a deep breath. TK takes a mental snapshot before leaving the room and heading for the bathroom.
His reflection is a shock to him the moment he turns on the light and sees himself in the mirror. His lips are a harsh red, his eyes bright and a little wild, hair in disarray. There’s such color in his cheeks that only darkens when he begins to blush. Through it all though, TK realizes he looks genuinely happy.
He looks away and focuses, cleaning himself up before wetting a cloth for Carlos.
He returns to the room and sits on the side of the bed, gently wiping Carlos clean. He catches his eye a few times as he works, a swooping sensation spreading in his chest and stomach each time.
“Thank you, babe,” Carlos murmurs, his fingers circling TK’s wrist and pulling him to lay beside him.
TK sets the washcloth aside and snuggles against Carlos, resting his head on his chest. He listens to his strong heartbeat, marveling at the way thuds a bit faster because of him.
“So…when and how exactly are we telling the team about us?” Carlos asks after a time, his fingertips skimming down TK’s arm.
“Well, Paul definitely knows there’s something going on between us, so that’s one less person to worry about. He kind of helped bring me up to speed on us.”
“I’m in his debt then,” Carlos says, pressing a kiss to his temple.
TK looks up at him, chin resting on Carlos’ pecs.
“Maybe we can tell the others tomorrow at game night? You can just start making out with me during Catan. They’ll catch on then and I get another excuse to kiss you. It’s a win/win.”
Carlos laughs heartily.
“And your dad, hmm? You suggesting I make out with you in front of him at work?”
TK raises a brow. “Kissing is literally the most tame thing we’ve done at the station. It’s a better alternative to everything else we’ve gotten into, no?”
Carlos’ face turns pink as he no doubt thinks of their hookups at the 126.
“You’ve got a point there,” he concedes.
“I’ll handle my dad. He’s been saying nothing but good things about you since you interviewed with us. I’m sure he’ll probably throw a parade over this.”
Carlos smiles, his thumb sweeping across TK’s cheekbone as he turns them over. He slots perfectly on top of TK as if he was designed just to fill this space.
It gets TK’s heart racing faster, especially as Carlos’ eyes drift to his lips with such longing. TK’s mouth doesn’t seem to be the only part of his body Carlos is craving as his hand settles between TK’s legs and gently strokes him.
TK laughs airily, his breath catching at the feel of Carlos’ thumb circling the head of his cock. Carlos takes his time, his touch deliberate. It changes TK’s buoyancy into something far more urgent and carnal.
“Please,” TK rasps, not even sure what he’s asking for just then, but downright desperate for more. He’s not above begging.
“I need it. I need you,” he continues, gripping Carlos’ arm and staring at him.
Carlos’ nod is subtle, but TK catches it all the same and floods with relief as Carlos spreads his legs wider, his fingertips searching.
TK tightens his hold on Carlos’ bicep, feeling pressure beginning to build in his stomach. It’s never been like this with anyone before, this instantaneous reaction and constant need.
Carlos seems to understand and feel it too as he ruts up against TK, his cock rubbing TK’s entrance. It’s enough to make TK shiver, his nails biting into Carlos’ skin as he thrusts forward. He feels greedy with his desire to have Carlos inside him; the teasing is getting to TK so badly, he’s leaking.
Carlos curses under his breath and is quick in grabbing supplies from his nightstand. It’s all so routine, yet still TK’s excitement rises just like the very first time they did this.
He relishes in Carlos fingers opening him up, his hips rolling forward over Carlos’ hand, letting him in deeper.
TK cups Carlos’ face and kisses him heatedly, his soft moans filling the room. This is all he’s wanted since day one. TK pulls back enough to look at him, his eyes searching Carlos’. He’s certain the hunger he finds there can be found in his eyes as well.
He’s desired. He’s wanted. They’ve got an entire night before them now to explore each other and nothing thrills TK more than the knowledge that they’ll both make good on this time.
He hooks a leg around Carlos’ waist, the heel of his foot locking him in at his lower back. A slow smirk spreads across Carlos’ gorgeous mouth, calculating and devastating as he works a condom over himself and aligns with TK’s entrance. TK bites back on his lower lip, heart racing as he tries to clear his mind and memorize every detail of this moment. This is hardly their first time together, but there’s weight behind it now. Meaning with official titles that makes TK want to savor it.
“Tomorrow, I’ll share you with everyone else. But tonight,” Carlos says as the head of his cock eases in, one hand holding firm at TK’s hip.
TK’s eyes roll shut, his mouth falling open as his boyfriend fills him. He feels Carlos everywhere at once. It’s overwhelming and perfect. Carlos’ name falls from his lips in a whisper, TK’s hands clutching at his shoulders. He opens his eyes once again to find Carlos staring right at him.
“Tonight you’re all mine.”
always be mine (and I will always be yours): a tarlos fic
“Do you smell that?” Carlos freezes, sniffs a couple of times before his face, too, falls. “Smoke.” TK nods and begins looking around, Carlos following his lead. The store isn’t that crowded, but there are a few people around, some who haven’t noticed the smell, yet. “We need to get people out,” TK says, jumping into first responder mode. “Yeah.”
-
Carlos and TK’s first shared day off in what seemed like forever is turned upside down when a fire erupts in a store while they're shopping, threatening to tear them apart and prematurely end their future together.
for bad things happen bingo: tarlos + bleeding through the bandages
major character injury, hurt carlos reyes, worried tk strand, established relationship, angst, whump, blood, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, cuddles, kisses, angst with a happy ending
8.2k | on ao3
*****
“Hey, ‘Los. What do you think of these?”
Carlos turns to look in TK’s direction, his eyes studying the light grey plate the younger man is holding up to show him.
“I think it would look nice with the dark grey set we use,” TK continues. “It would be a good contrast using the same color.”
Carlos nods after a moment of consideration. “Yeah, I think so, too. I like it.”
It’s Carlos and TK’s first shared day off in the past few weeks. They had planned the entire day upon finding that out, starting with sleeping in later than usual, a late breakfast, some shopping for the condo and then having a meal with Carlos’s parents.
They are currently shopping for a few things at an open mall. Ever since TK had moved in with Carlos, they had put effort into making the condo theirs and for it to also reflect TK and his personality. The best way to go about doing that was to go out and see what caught TK’s attention and making a home for those items.
“There’s still a lot to see, though,” TK says, looking in further down the aisle he was standing at the beginning of. “I like these, but let’s keep looking. We might find something better.”
Carlos walks over and extends his arm towards TK, and TK wastes no time in linking their fingers together. They walk hand in hand through the aisle, then the next and the next. They didn't really have a to-buy list with them, they were scouting more than anything and seeing what they stumbled upon and caught their attention. They both agree that that is the best way to find exactly what they’re searching for.
Carlos was enjoying this, his favorite time is any time spent with TK, but in this setting, he adores how excited TK would get over something his eyes catches or if he finds something interesting. But Carlos himself was also very interested in and excited about a particular section of the store: the cooking and baking equipment.
He couldn’t wait to reach it, already eager to find out if there are any new models or new appliances he could use in the kitchen. And his mother’s birthday is coming up soon, too, and he’s been cataloging the appliances at his parents’ house to figure out if he could get her a new one, too, knowing she’ll love it.
Carlos is brought back from his thoughts by yet another excited squeal from TK as the paramedic rushes in the direction of the towels and linens section. Carlos chuckles and follows him, knowing how much TK loves and appreciates a good soft towel or silky smooth sheets.
“They’re so soft!” TK tells Carlos, running his hand over a displayed towel. “And these sheets!” He moves to the other side, admiring the bedsheets.
Carlos has to admit, they do feel pretty amazing. And the colors would fit right in with their bathroom and bedroom.
TK looks at Carlos. “I’ve made up my mind, new towels and sheets.”
“Okay, then,” Carlos nods.
If new towels and bedsheets will make the condo feel more like home for TK, then they will get all the towels and sheets TK’s heart desires.
Their conversation is cut short when TK frowns, turning around and narrowing his eyes.
“What is it?” Carlos asks, immediately noticing the change in TK’s posture.
“Do you smell that?”
Carlos freezes, sniffs a couple of times before his face, too, falls. “Smoke.”
TK nods and begins looking around, Carlos following his lead.
The store isn’t that crowded, but there are a few people around, some who haven’t noticed the smell, yet.
“We need to get people out,” TK says, jumping into first responder mode.
“Yeah.”
The alarm goes off just as they start grabbing people’s attentions. Together, they usher them out with the help of the green lit signs.
TK and Carlos share a concerned look when they both realize that the smoke is getting heavier and more evident as they make their way towards the exit.
And then TK spots it, the dancing red and orange flames coming from the corner of the store, getting bigger and bigger by each passing second, feeding on the oxygen in the closed space. He could also see a few silhouettes near the fire, who may need help.
“There’s still people near the fire,” TK yells over to Carlos, pointing in the direction of the flames. “Get everyone out, I’ll go for them and meet you outside.”
But Carlos is shaking his head. “I’m not leaving you.”
Carlos’s tone leaves no room for argument, and TK knows they don’t even have time for any arguments. TK turns to a young man in the crowd.
“Make sure everyone is out, don’t stop for anything,” he instructs him.
The man nods and continues helping people out.
“Here,” Carlos pushes something into TK’s hands.
He looks down to see one of the towels he was admiring earlier and finds Carlos covering his own mouth and nose with one himself.
The irony doesn’t escape him.
TK nods. “Thanks.” He lifts the towel to his face, the promise of softness and comfort that came hand in hand with this towel shifts and its purpose is now a shield for protection instead.
The heat gets worse the closer they get to the people in the fire vicinity, and Carlos can feel the sweat running down his neck and back. The thick smoke makes it almost impossible to see straight and the officer does his best to keep TK in his direct line of sight.
“Hey, we’re here to help!” TK yells when he’s in earshot.
“It’s so hard to see,” a woman’s voice speaks. “The smoke…”
“I know, just follow my voice,” TK guides her. He eventually gets to her and points her in the direction of the exit. “Is there anyone else here?”
She nods. “Two more.”
“TK, over here!”
Once he’s sure she’s moving in the right direction, TK turns his attention to where Carlos’s voice is coming from. He finds Carlos standing, supporting a man by carrying his weight with an arm draped over his shoulder.
“You alright?” Carlos asks.
“Yeah, thanks,” the man nods.
“There’s another person,” TK points out, looking around and trying to see through the smoke.
The fire is growing at an alarming rate, TK’s firefighter instincts scream that they need to get out of there right this moment.
“Can anyone hear me?” TK tries, hoping his voice carries over the fire.
A figure emerges near a door with a sign that reads Changing Rooms.
“Good, good!” TK says as the other man approaches them, covering his mouth and nose with a scarf. “We need to get out of here! This way!”
TK points the two men in the direction as they start moving, TK waits for Carlos so they’re close together, not risking losing him in all this smoke. With a final look around, TK gives him a nod and they start heading towards the exit.
An exploding sound originating near them sends Carlos and TK diving to the ground, covering their faces with their arms and curling their bodies where they landed. It’s over just as quickly as it started, it takes a moment for TK to shake it off, sitting up and wincing at the ringing in his ears. He takes a moment to refocus, eyes immediately searching for Carlos in the chaos.
He finds Carlos a few feet away from him, lying on his back. TK glances around and sees the floor around them littered with broken glass. Mindful of the sharp pieces, TK quickly crawls over to Carlos.
“Hey, Carlos. Are you okay?” TK asks, taking a quick survey of the other man but stops short when his eyes land on Carlos’s stomach.
He freezes, he even stops breathing for a few seconds. The sight makes TK’s own stomach twist and turn. Because no, no, no, this can’t be happening.
“TK,” Carlos groans through gritted teeth, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay, babe. You’re okay,” TK rushes to reassure Carlos, his voice shakier than he’d like.
“What…” Carlos begins but trails off, scrunching up his face in pain.
“A glass display exploded, and you have some glass embedded in your abdomen,” TK swallows. “I need you to stay calm and still. And stay awake, babe.”
TK looks up and not only is the fire much, much bigger but it’s getting closer to where Carlos is lying on the ground. He frantically looks around hoping to find help, but no one is in sight. And he doubts anyone can see them through the heavy grey cloud. They need to move, and Carlos is already losing a lot of blood. TK feels the panic start to bubble in his gut, but he pushes it down, willing his racing heart to calm down so he can help Carlos. So he can save him.
Taking a deep breath doesn’t really help, because it’s practically inhaling a handful of smoke but TK manages to regain some control anyway, his training kicking in. If anyone can get Carlos out, it’s him.
“I need to apply pressure, Carlos,” TK says over the raging fire, reaching for the towel Carlos was using before and pressing it hard against the officer’s stomach.
And once again, the towel is transformed from an item of indulgence to a lifeline for Carlos.
Carlos lets out a pained scream, rolling his head from side to side. TK watches in anguish as a tear rolls down the side of Carlos’s face.
“I know, I’m sorry, but we need to slow down this bleeding as much as we can until we get help.”
TK wraps his hand around Carlos’s wrist and guides the cop’s hand towards the wound, pushing it down there. “Keep holding it there.”
It’s hot, God, it’s so hot, TK feels the heat coursing through his body. His face feels so hot and his eyes are starting to burn. He zones out for a moment when his eyes land on the blood pooling beneath the love of his life. A crash behind them snaps him back to the moment.
“Can you stand up?” He asks Carlos.
“Don’t know.”
“It’s okay, I’m gonna help you. We need to get out of here. Trust me,” TK says and starts helping Carlos into a sitting position.
“I trust you with my life,” Carlos croaks.
“I got you. On three,” he takes hold of Carlos’s free arm and throws it over his shoulder. On the count of three, he get to his feet, helping Carlos up with him and supporting more of his weight.
“That’s it,” TK whispers. “One foot in front of the other.” He secures his hold on Carlos by wrapping his arm around Carlos’s waist and guiding them towards the exit.
He feels Carlos getting weaker in his grip, and notices his hold on the towel faltering, allowing for more blood to rush freely down his skin once more.
“Hey, Carlos, I need you to stay with me, baby,” TK tries, his voice wobbly and unsteady.
He can’t tell if Carlos heard that and he feels the fear begin to seize him. He feels helpless, momentarily at loss as he pretty much carries Carlos out of the burning store.
“Carlos, please…stay with me.”
Carlos manages to breathe out an mhm and TK tightens his hold on him, moving with purpose and precision as the fire continues roaring behind them.
After what feels like an eternity, TK sees the light.
“I need a first aid kit!” TK yells at the crowd gathered outside of the store. “Get me a first aid kit!”
The much-needed fresh air doesn’t do much in helping TK relax or calm down. He stops once they’re far enough from the entrance and with the help of another man, TK lowers Carlos to the ground.
“Hey, babe. You still with me?”
Carlos gives him a short nod.
TK discards the ruined piece of fabric and cotton to inspect the wound. He can see at least three shards of glass inside the wound, he can’t tell if they’ve hit any organs or nicked any veins, but the amount of blood Carlos has already lost is alarming. The officer’s entire left side is drenched in crimson, also staining the top of his jeans.
“You’re gonna be okay, ‘Los,” TK continues speaking, trying to keep Carlos awake. “Just stay with me. Focus on my voice.”
“Ty…” Carlos mumbles, his voice weak.
“I’m right here, baby.”
The first aid kit is opened when it lands next to TK and he doesn’t look in the direction of where it came. He grabs for a bandage, unwrapping it and hastily layering it in his palm before pressing it hard against Carlos’s abdomen.
Carlos gasps, his brown eyes opening wide and the rush of adrenaline seems to pump some energy through his body.
“Stay with me,” TK repeats.
“Guess…we won’t make dinner…with my parents,” Carlos pushes out.
TK lets out a wet chuckle. “Don’t worry about that, babe. We’ll have another dinner with them once you’re all fixed up and better.”
TK gulps, the bandage is filling up with blood way too quickly. There’s so much blood…Carlos’s blood. TK reaches for another bandage, holding it against Carlos’s stomach with his now-smeared fingers. His heart is hammering roughly against his ribcage and he attempts to draw in a few breaths but they come out in coughs.
“Ty, your chest,” Carlos stammers.
TK shakes his head. “I’m okay, it’s nothing serious.” And then the air around them is graced with the sound of incoming sirens.
“Do you hear that, babe? Help is almost here,” TK says, throwing the bloodied bandage aside and pressing yet another one to the wound.
He looks up from Carlos for the first time when he hears rapid footsteps approaching and a slight weight is lifted off his chest when he spots Marjan jogging towards them.
His team is here. It’s gonna be okay.
TK can pinpoint the moment Marjan’s eyes land on him and the split second it takes her to realize who she’s looking at. Her eyes go big very quickly and she breaks into a run towards them, already screaming for Tommy and Nancy.
“Captain Vega! Nancy! Over here!” She frantically waves the paramedics over.
“Hey, Marj,” TK breaths out, feeling a little deflated but his hands still applying pressure to Carlos’s stomach.
“Strand!” Tommy’s voice comes from behind as she and Nancy crouch next to them. “What happened?”
“A fire started, and then a glass display shattered and hit Carlos. There’s some glass shards lodged in his abdomen. He’s lost a lot of blood,” TK’s voice trembles as he explains.
Tommy nods, getting the equipment ready and Nancy works to take Carlos’s vitals.
“Hey, Carlos,” Tommy speaks in her calm and sweet tone. “How are you doing?”
“Okay…” Carlos whispers.
TK can feel the rest of the crew gather around them and he senses his dad standing right behind him. It’s confirmed when he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he knows it’s his father’s touch.
He looks up and sees Judd standing near. “I think everyone is out.”
TK hears Owen give orders while turning his attention back to Carlos. And under all the soot and black ash smudged on Carlos’s face, the officer is looking a lot paler than he did a minute ago.
TK’s heart shatters a little more and some pieces drop into his knees when he feels Carlos’s blood seep through the bandage and stick to his skin.
“He’s bleeding through all of the bandages,” TK’s voice breaks.
“TK, I know it’s hard but I’m going to need you to let go for a moment,” Tommy says.
TK vigorously shakes his head. “I can’t, I can’t…he’ll bleed more. I can’t.”
“I need to see the damage. Here,” she hands TK a bigger and thicker piece of gauze. “To use the moment I’m done.”
Reluctantly, TK pulls back. He closes his eyes for a moment while Tommy inspects the wound and then he’s opening his eyes and pressing the gauze once she’s done.
“I don’t think the glass hit anything vital,” she reports.
“His sats are low, Cap,” Nancy speaks.
“TK, I need you to keep the pressure. We’re gonna move him now. Captain Strand, a hand.”
Together, Tommy, Nancy and Owen lift Carlos onto the stretcher while TK keeps his hold.
Owen gives TK’s shoulder a squeeze. “Keep us updated, son,” his voice is filled to the brim with worry and concern. “We’ll be by the hospital as soon as we can.”
TK nods and hops into the rig after they push Carlos inside. Tommy instantly gets to work, placing the oxygen mask over Carlos’s face and starts inserting an IV in Carlos’s arm. Nancy slams the doors and rushes to the driver’s seat, the siren blaring as the ambulance starts to move.
TK keeps the pressure with one hand and uses the other to hold one of Carlos’s, giving him a reassuring squeeze.
Carlos peels his eyelids open and finds TK’s face through the haze. TK’s very worried face.
“We…didn’t see the…kitchen appliances,” Carlos says, his voice partly muffled by the oxygen mask.
Another wet chuckle from TK. “I promise we’ll get all the new appliances you want.”
“My parents,” Carlos wheezes.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll handle it, save your energy,” TK replies.
“I love you, Ty,” Carlos whispers as his eyes begin to droop.
“I love you, too. You gotta stay awake for me, ‘Los.”
A gut-wrenching feeling takes over and TK refuses to believe that Carlos has just said goodbye, even as a lone tear slips out of his eye and rolls down his cheek.
The rest of the ride is stressful, with Carlos going in and out of consciousness.
The ambulance doors are yanked open when the rig comes to halt in front of the hospital. Tommy gives the doctors and nurses a rundown of Carlos’s injury and vitals as they quickly move. TK jogs by the gurney, only letting his hand drop when he knows one of the nurses took over keeping the pressure.
The other nurse stands in front of TK, but he’s looking over her shoulder to where Carlos is being wheeled into the elevator.
The nurse gently takes hold of TK’s hand and drops something into it.
He looks down and sees a ring sitting in his palm. The silver ring he slipped onto Carlos’s finger just a couple of months ago.
“Hold onto it for him,” the nurse says.
But her voice is so far away now, muffled and distant. And it feels like TK’s suddenly under water as he begins to heave, the rest of the world fading away. He’s visibly shaking now, clutching the ring tightly in his fist. He can’t stop the sob that tears through his throat and out of his dried lips.
He feels Tommy’s hand come to rest on the small of his back as she leads him towards the chairs.
“Come on, TK.”
He lets her guide him and he drops harshly onto the plastic, his knuckles going white from the force of his hold on Carlos’s ring.
“Easy, easy,” Tommy soothes, slowly coaxing his fingers from digging into his palm.
TK opens his palm and looks at the ring again, the one thing on repeat going through his head that’s Carlos’s blood, that’s Carlos’s blood and TK feels sick to his stomach. He slips the ring into his pocket without a word.
“I…should call his parents,” TK speaks after a few minutes of silence. “I should…” he drops his head to look at his still-bloody hands.
Tommy nods, watching as TK gets up on unsteady legs and makes his way towards the bathroom first.
After scrubbing his hands clean, he steps outside of the ER. It’s hot and the atmosphere is stiff around him.
TK had lost track of time, but the sun still hanging high in the sky tells him it can’t be more than thirty minutes since the fire started, though it feels like that was a lifetime or two ago.
He pulls his phone out of his pocket and takes a deep breath, touching a contact and dragging the phone up to his ear.
“Tyler,” Andrea picks up after the third ring, her voice cheery and joyful. “I’m just about to start making the food. Are you and Carlitos almost done with your errands?”
“Andrea,” TK manages to push past the lump in his throat, his voice uneven.
She immediately picks up on TK’s broken tone. “What is it?”
“Something happened.”
TK finds the waiting room where Tommy and Nancy are sitting a few minutes after ending the phone call with Andrea. He doesn’t know how he got through telling her the hellish events of the past hour without completely breaking down.
Shock, his mind supplies.
“His parents are on their way,” TK announces.
He’s not sure his legs can carry him any longer, the adrenaline beginning to wear off, so he unceremoniously falls backwards into a chair facing the door.
“We’ll wait until they get here,” Tommy decides. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
TK musters his best grateful smile to give to Tommy, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
The silence is heavy around them, TK’s nervous energy visible through the rapid bouncing of his leg. He’s leaning forward, elbows resting on his thighs with his face buried in his hands. He gently tugs on his hair strands, needing to keep his hands busy.
He only looks up from the carpeted floor when he hears fast footsteps nearing the door, spotting Andrea and Gabriel rushing towards the room through the glass window.
TK gets to his feet just as they enter the room, and his head immediately drops. In this moment, TK wants to curl up in the corner and be invisible. It’s been eating at him since they arrived at the hospital, how he feels like this is all his fault. He should have pressed harder for Carlos to get out of that burning store while he still could have, because it he had gone, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt. And now, facing Carlos’s parents, with the guilt racking and building in his bones with each passing second, he can’t bring himself to meet their worried gazes.
Andrea can tell TK’s breath hitches because she’s moving across the room and closing the distance between them in two strides.
“Breathe, Tyler, breathe,” she speaks, her voice low but still soothing as she wraps her arms around TK’s quivering body.
TK falls against Andrea, returning the embrace and he can’t help the sob that escapes his lips.
Andrea gently shushes him, a hand traveling up his back and settles against the back of his head where she cards her fingers through TK’s short hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” TK hiccups, the tears now running freely down his face and wetting Andrea’s shirt. “I tried, I tried…”
Not only is his guilt weighing him down, but Carlos’s ring in his pocket suddenly feels very heavy.
“Está bien, amor,” she reassures him. It’s okay, love.
TK stays in her arms for a few more moments, in her warmth, gathering his own strength and maybe even borrowing some of Andrea’s so he can keep standing.
He eventually pulls back with a sniffle, straightening his back and wiping away the fallen tears.
“There’s no reason to be sorry,” Andrea gives TK a small smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I know in my heart you did everything you could to help our Carlitos.”
More tears pool in TK’s eyes and one streaks down his cheek when Gabriel reaches out, placing a hand on TK’s shoulder and giving him a squeeze there.
“What she said, mijo.”
TK is taken aback by how different Gabriel sounds. The Texas Ranger’s usually strong and proud voice sounds like it’s been shrunk, small and low. Gabriel looks deflated, too.
TK draws in a deep breath, giving them a nod before clearing his throat.
He turns to face Tommy and Nancy, who were watching the encounter with their own teary eyes.
“Gabriel, Andrea, this is my team, Captain Vega and Nancy,” TK introduces. “Guys, these are Carlos’s parents.”
Tommy and Nancy get up to their feet, Tommy extended a hand, shaking Gabriel’s and then Andrea’s.
“I’m so sorry we had to officially meet under these circumstances,” the Paramedic Captain speaks. “Carlos is young, strong and healthy and he’s in the best of hands.”
“Thank you, Captain,” Gabriel replies with a grateful tone.
“And you were right,” Tommy faces Andrea. “TK did everything right. I would even say he’s the one who saved Carlos’s life.”
TK closes his eyes and lets the words sink in. He opens them when he feels a hand on his back.
It’s Nancy. “Call if you need anything, Strand. I mean it.”
TK nods, giving her a hug. “Thanks, Nance.”
“And keep us updated, we’re all thinking of you. Both of you,” Tommy adds.
“Thanks, Cap.”
With quick goodbyes, Tommy and Nancy leave.
Andrea takes TK’s hand and leads him back towards the chairs where she sits between him and her husband.
TK pulls out his phone, staring at his lock screen wallpaper for a second, a selfie of him and Carlos, both of them wearing big smiles. He keeps his gaze on Carlos for a few more moment before unlocking it.
TK: [4:09 PM] Andrea and Gabriel are here, Tommy and Nancy just left. We haven't heard anything yet.
Owen’s reply comes immediately.
Owen: [4:09 PM] Send them my love until I get there. Only a couple of hours left for shift, I’ll be by as soon as I can.
TK: [4:10 PM] Thanks, dad.
Owen: [4:11 PM] The crew send their love and support, too.
Doctors and nurses keep walking passed the waiting room but none of them enter or seek the worried trio out. TK’s heart beats a little faster every time a doctor or nurse approaches the waiting room, but disappointment quickly sets in when they disappear as quickly as they appeared.
“Have you eaten anything?” Andrea asks after ten minutes of silence.
TK shakes his head. “Not since breakfast. I’m not really hungry, though.”
And this topic brings back a memory from earlier in the day, and TK lets out a bitter chuckle.
Andrea and Gabriel give him puzzled looks, clearly confused.
“No, it’s just,” TK starts with a shake of his head. “When Carlos was hurt, you know what he was worried about the most? That we were gonna miss dinner with you guys,” he voice fractures. “I told him not worry, that we’ll have another one once he’s better. But…he was worried about dinner.”
Andrea closes her eyes, pushing a tear down her face. “Yeah, that’s our Carlitos. He never wants to let anyone down.”
TK nods. “Now just the idea of food or eating, it just…” he stops with another head shake and starts fumbling with his hands.
“I understand but still, you need to eat something,” Andrea interjects. “You need to keep your energy and strength up to take care of him. You’re no good to Carlos if you collapse.”
TK doesn’t fight it because he knows she’s right.
She gets up, picking up her purse and throwing it over her shoulder. “Let me go see what’s there to eat around here.” And then she’s gone, leaving TK and Gabriel alone with their thoughts.
A few minutes in and the silence is too much for TK to handle.
“This is all my fault,” his voice slices through the atmosphere.
Gabriel looks at TK, his eyebrows creased together in question.
“Carlos getting hurt,” TK clarifies. “I should have insisted he leave with everyone else, instead of going with me towards the fire.”
Gabriel’s eyes widen a little in surprise. “You…went towards the fire?”
TK nods, swallowing and looking away from Gabriel’s eyes. “Some people were having a hard time finding their way out. And I knew there wasn’t much time left, I knew I had to go and help them. I told Carlos to leave with everybody else but he said he won’t leave me. I let it go because there wasn’t enough time to argue. But now…I can’t help but wonder if I had just taken two seconds to insist that he get to safety. I’m trained for this, he isn’t. He came along, and he got hurt.”
Gabriel’s eyes soften and he moves one chair over, now sitting in Andrea’s place. “TK, you and I both know that with or without training, Carlos would have never left you alone in that store.”
TK shakes his head. “He should have. He should have gotten out of there.”
“Answer me this,” Gabriel says. “If it were a reversed situation, and let’s say instead of a fire it was a robbery, would you have left Carlos alone, even if he told you to leave to get to safety?”
TK meets Gabriel’s eyes once again. “No,” he sighs, rolling his own ring in circles where it sits on his finger. “I wouldn’t leave him.”
Gabriel nods. “Even without police training, you wouldn’t have left his side. This is the exact same thing.”
TK draws in a shaky breath and lets it out slowly.
“This wasn’t your fault, TK,” Gabriel expresses, a hand going to the back of TK’s neck and giving him a reassuring squeeze and pat there.
TK feels the slightest weight lifted off his chest. The rest will be removed once he knows with certainty that Carlos is okay.
*****
Andrea had returned with a take out paper bag from a nearby Tex Mex food truck she had spotted on her quest to find food. She knew that the last thing TK needs would be hospital food, and remembering Carlos mentioning that TK loved burritos, she ordered a filling one for him.
He had gratefully accepted the food and ate in silence, taking one small bite after the other until he was crunching up the foil wrap and throwing it away.
He had to admit, eating did help him feel a little better.
However, his anxiety and worry have been increasing because it’s been over two hours and they haven’t heard anything about Carlos yet.
“TK!”
TK hears Owen before he sees him, he gets up just in time to see his dad striding into the waiting room, Judd hot on his heels, both in their civvies.
“Hey, dad,” TK sags a little, accepting the embrace Owen wraps him in.
They hug for a few moments before pulling back, and then Judd is placing a comforting hand on TK’s shoulder.
“You doin’ alright, brother?”
TK nods. “Hanging in there.”
“Have you heard anything yet?”
TK shakes his head, his eyes flooding with tears again as they land on the opened doorway.
After quick exchanges between Andrea, Gabriel, Owen and Judd (they’ve all grown closer since Carlos and TK’s engagement) the four of them take their seats while TK opts to pace around the small room instead, going back to rolling his ring between his fingers, a gesture he does when he’s nervous.
Carlos would always notice, and he’d reach out and cover TK’s hand with his own, wordlessly reassuring TK that he’s here and that TK isn’t alone.
And TK misses that, he misses Carlos’s touch. Misses his voice, his smile, his eyes. He misses Carlos and he feels that ache echo from his head to his toe.
“Did you find out what started the fire?” TK asks, looking at Owen, part of him needing to know.
Owen nods. “Electrical fire. It started with a spark and then quickly spread.”
TK nods slowly. “Carlos is going to be fine,” he whispers, more to himself than anything else. “He has to be.”
*****
After what feels like a lifetime and then some, a very exhausted looking doctor makes his way into the waiting room. In one beat, everyone is on their feet and TK exchanges a fast look with his dad before turning his attention back to the doctor.
TK finds himself shifting his weight from one foot to the other, slightly bouncing on the balls of his feet.
“Family of Carlos Reyes?”
“How’s our son?” Gabriel is the first to ask, clasping Andrea’s hand with his own.
“He made it through,” the doctor replies with a tired but genuine smile. “He’s going to be okay.”
A collective sigh rebounds off the walls and the tension in the room starts fading. But TK is still holding his breath, still cautious as he process the doctor’s words.
“The glass fragments didn’t hit anything vital and didn’t sever any veins or arteries. But the wound was deep and jagged, due to the irregular angle and high speed the pieces penetrated his abdomen, which made it a little complicated to repair. His blood pressure was lower than I liked for most of the surgery, because of how much blood he had already lost, but we got it under control and his numbers are now holding and stable,” the doctor explains.
“Gracias a Dios,” Andrea whispers, clutching her free hand over her heart. “When can we see him?”
“Shortly. He’s being settled into recovery right now. I have to limit visitors to two until he’s moved to a regular room.”
Gabriel extends his hand to shake the doctor’s. “Gracias, doctor.”
“You’re welcome,” the doctor smiles again. “He’s young and healthy, I expect him to make a full recovery. A nurse will come by to let you know once he’s ready for visitors.”
TK’s mind is still catching up with what the doctor had said, he sees him walk away but he doesn’t exactly register it.
“He’s okay?” TK turns to Owen, needing to hear it one more time to believe it.
Owen nods with a smile. “He’s okay, son.”
TK would have crashed to the ground if it weren’t for Owen’s fast reflexes in wrapping an arm around his son’s waist. Owen saw the second it happened, the second TK’s knees gave way and it was an instant later he was holding TK upright.
“Easy, TK, easy,” Owen guides him to sit. “Deep, even breaths.”
It takes a minute or two for TK to control his breathing and to steady his heart rate.
“That’s it, son, that’s it,” Owen runs a hand up and down TK’s back to help sooth him.
“Carlos is okay,” TK says out loud, finally believing it.
Carlos’s ring isn’t heavy in TK’s pocket anymore.
*****
Sitting by Carlos’s hospital bed is surreal.
There’s so much that doesn’t fit with the image TK has of Carlos in his mind, and his brain is working on processing the sight in front of him.
Yes, Carlos is calm, not nearly as fidgety as TK is, but still, the officer had little gestures here and there, little movements he would do that spoke volumes. It had taken TK a while to document them, but once he did, he would notice every time Carlos would scrunch up his nose or rub at his temple when he was focusing on something that was work related. How his eyes would move under closed lids when he was asleep. How he’d turn on his side, arm automatically reaching for TK and pulling him close. And there are more little things that spell Carlos so vividly and the absence of them in this moment breaks TK’s heart all that more.
He sighs, his red, swollen eyes moving to the heart monitor that tells him that Carlos’s heartbeat is strong and steady. TK is also glad to see that his fiancé had regained some color in his face, and that he was breathing on his own, all good and promising signs. But still, TK will only be fully satisfied when Carlos is awake and smiling at him.
It’s been nearly an hour since a nurse had informed them that Carlos was ready for visitors. TK had insisted that Andrea and Gabriel see Carlos first, and they stayed with their son for about thirty minutes before retreating back to the waiting room, eyes equally bloodshot.
Gabriel had patted TK’s back. Go be with your fiancé, he had told TK. And with a promise to visit the next day, he and Andrea left.
Owen and Judd had excused themselves, as well; Owen going to pack a bag for TK and Judd going home to Grace. Both men reminding TK to call or text if he needs anything or if a change happens.
“Hi, baby,” TK tightens his grasp on Carlos’s hand. “Your parents will be back tomorrow. Dad’s packing a bag for me for the night, and everyone sends their love and support. They all said they’ll visit in a couple of days, and I’m hoping you’ll be awake by then.”
The beeping monitor is all the response TK gets.
“I’m right here, ‘Los. Come back to me,” TK whispers as he runs his fingers through Carlos’s soft curls. The officer always did leave his curls a little loose on his days off, not applying much hair product to keep them in place. And TK adores Carlos’s curls.
He then gets up and plants a kiss to Carlos’s forehead.
It’s a restless night for TK. Between his worry and the nurses frequently checking on Carlos, he barely gets any sleep. He gives up right around dawn breaking, painting the sky in streaks of red, orange and yellow. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and sits up in the cot that was set for him. A quick survey tells him that nothing has changed, and that sadly means that Carlos still hasn’t woken up. He gets to his feet and stretches, expelling the exhaustion from his bones as much as he could. A trip to the bathroom would help, his mind supplies.
After freshening up, he returns to Carlos’s side, brushing a kiss to the officer’s cheek.
“Good morning, babe.”
He looks up as the door is pushed open and a young nurse walks in.
“Oh, good morning,” she smiles at TK.
“Morning,” he gives a small smile in return.
“He’s doing good,” she notes, jotting down Carlos’s vitals in the clipboard hanging on the end of his bed. “The doctor is hopeful he’ll wake up today.”
“That’s great to hear,” TK replies. “I…really need him to wake up.”
She nods. “There’s a coffee station down the hall, you look like you need it,” she adds with empathy in her voice.
“Thanks,” TK lightly chuckles. And boy does he really need it.
TK hasn’t really let the full gravity of the past day’s events sink in. He wasn’t exactly bottling it up or ignoring it or running from it, part of him was still trying to wrap his mind around it. It had all happened so fast, and then everything was so incredibly slow, it caused TK’s mind to lag. It all felt like a haze, like he was trying to see through a fog.
And even now, with a cup of coffee in hand, watching the steady rise and fall of Carlos’s chest, TK feels like it’s an out of body experience. It hasn’t sunk in yet, and TK is praying that Carlos will be awake when it eventually does. Because he doesn’t want to—a part of him even thinks he can’t—deal with this alone. Dealing with the aftermath with Carlos here, awake, will make it a little easier, TK supposes.
The minutes and hours tick by, with no change from Carlos’s side. TK had grown agitated a few times and opted to walk around the room for a bit, even taking a quick stroll up and down the hallway a couple of times, to burn off some energy.
He’s back in the chair situated next to the bed, scrolling through and replying to texts he’d received. He’s sending a message to the 126 crew group chat when a small movement catches his eye. TK looks up, locking his phone and placing it on the nightstand.
He holds his breath, momentarily thinking his brain was playing a cruel trick on him when the movement happens again.
His phone pings but TK doesn’t dare to look away from Carlos’s face.
“Carlos? Baby, can you hear me?” He speaks, his voice is a little husky from not being used.
And then TK can cry, because Carlos’s head is slowly moving to the side and his eyes are gradually met by Carlos’s beautiful brown eyes.
“Oh my god,” TK breathes. “Hi, babe. Hi.”
“Ty,” Carlos croaks out, his voice hoarse.
“I’m right here, right here,” TK smiles and for the first time since they smelled smoke, TK can finally breathe.
And he also does cry, a tear rolling down his cheek as brown and green gaze into each other. But Carlos’s eyes are also a little clouded.
With all the strength he could muster, Carlos lifts his arm and cups TK’s cheek, wiping away the fallen tear with his thumb.
TK chuckles wetly and leans into Carlos’s touch. Oh, how much he’s missed it.
“‘m okay,” Carlos mumbles.
“Yeah,” TK nods. “Yeah, you are, babe.”
Carlos’s tongue darts out to lick his dry lips.
“Do you want some water?”
Carlos responds with a small nod.
TK grabs the water pitcher and pours some into a cup, placing it in front of Carlos and guiding the straw between his lips.
“Easy, babe. Slow sips,” TK says, holding the cup.
Once Carlos is done, TK returns the cup. He can tell Carlos is already exhausted by the way the officer’s eyes are beginning to droop shut. He can also tell that Carlos is fighting it.
“It’s okay, ‘Los,” TK reassures him. “Go back to sleep, your body needs it to heal. I’ll be right here when you wake up again.”
“Love you,” Carlos whispers, already halfway asleep.
“And I love you,” TK replies, pressing a kiss to Carlos’s knuckles.
***** Carlos wakes up again a few hours later, more coherent and alert. Stronger, too.
TK’s watching him when he opens his eyes, blinks a few times and settles on the paramedic’s face, that quickly splits into a grin.
“Welcome back, again,” TK squeezes Carlos’s hand.
TK’s words take a moment to sink in for Carlos, and he’s frowning once they do. “Again?”
TK nods. “You woke up a few hours ago. You don’t remember?”
Carlos tries to focus, he remembers seeing TK, but…
“I remember seeing your face, but I thought I was dreaming,” Carlos eventually replies.
“No, baby, it wasn’t a dream. You woke up for a minute and then slept again,” he gives Carlos’s hand a squeeze. “The doctor said that was perfectly normal, that your body needed more time to heal, from the injury and the toll of the surgery.”
“How bad is it?” Carlos asks once he’s gathered enough strength again. He could still feel the ghost of the towel pressing into his side.
TK swallows, a hand going to cup Carlos’s cheek. “You lost a lot of blood, that was the biggest concern. But nothing vital was damaged, the wound itself was irregular because of the angle and speed of the glass shards, so it was a little complicated to fix but they did it. And you’re going to be just fine, with some time off work and a lot of love from me,” he ends with dropping a kiss to Carlos’s forehead.
“I’ll be back on my feet in no time.”
“Yeah,” TK nods. “I know.”
“I’m sorry I scared you, I really didn’t mean to,” Carlos says, knowing exactly what’s on TK’s mind. “It all happened so fast and…”
“I know, babe,” TK reassures him. “I just wish that—”
“No,” Carlos interrupts. “Don’t go there, babe. This wasn’t your fault.”
TK blows out a sigh, dropping his eyes to Carlos’s stomach, where he knows there’s a large piece of gauze covering his side under the blankets and hospital gown.
“Hey, Ty, look at me,” Carlos pleads.
Slowly, TK lifts his eyes to meet Carlos’s. TK can see specks of exhaustion at the corners of Carlos’s kind eyes, but in the middle sits steel determination.
“This wasn’t your fault,” Carlos repeats.
“Now you sound like your father,” TK says with a small smile.
Carlos chuckles weakly. “Well, he’s right.” Then a pause. “What if I had left you and then you were the one who got hurt? Who would have helped you and gotten you out? That wasn’t a chance I was willing to take. I never would have gone and left you in there, TK.”
Carlos extends an arm and places his palm on the nape of TK’s neck, gently pulling him closer until their foreheads are touching and resting against each other.
They both close their eyes, staying like that for a few moments as they take it all in. Breathing each other in. And even with the scent of antiseptic hanging in the air around them, TK can distinctly smell Carlos. And the heavy weight sitting on his chest starts evaporating.
They pull back, but not before Carlos brushes a tentative kiss to TK’s cheek.
“How are you doing?” Carlos asks his fiancé.
“I’m okay,” TK replies.
Carlos can see through it, though and raises an eyebrow at TK. “Really? Because I know I just woke up from surgery and all, but I have a feeling you look worse than I do.”
“I can get you a mirror if you’d like,” TK attempts at a comeback but it comes out flat and deflated. He sighs. He watches Carlos for a few moments before continuing. “I was just…really scared. It all seemed really bad for a moment there and…” he trails off with a shrug.
Tears start to gather in TK’s eyes as he slips his hand into his pocket and closes his fist around the ring, pulling it out but not opening his palm yet.
“And then the nurse placed this in my hand when you were being wheeled away from me,” TK opens his palm then, revealing the silver jewelry. “And looking at it, it felt like I had just said goodbye to you,” his voice breaks.
“Querido,” Carlos whispers, his own eyes now filled with tears. Darling.
“This ring symbolizes me giving you a piece of myself, because I am yours. And when the ring was given back to me…it felt like you were gone,” TK sniffs, letting the tears fall.
“No, baby, no,” Carlos’s own voice wavers. He clutches tightly at TK’s hands, covering his open palm. “You will always be mine, just as I will always be yours. I’m here, I’m here and I’m okay. We’re okay.”
“Always,” TK whispers.
He’s still feeling the pain and hurt, the almost-grief, but Carlos’s words ease them all and a glimmer of hope starts brewing in his chest instead. Hope born out of their love, out of their touch. They are each other’s always.
TK sits up straight and clears his throat. “Now, I believe this belongs to you.”
The smile at takes over Carlos’s face is blinding as TK takes his hand and slips the ring back on his finger where it belongs.
“From me to you,” TK says, looking into Carlos’s soft eyes.
“Always,” Carlos whispers into the space between them.
TK plants a kiss on the ring and then closes the distance between them with a chaste kiss to Carlos’s lips. The kiss is gentle, tender, but carries a river of emotions with it. It is comfort, it is reassurance, it is safety. It’s everything and more.
TK’s phone pings just as they separate and quick glance tells him who’s on the other side of the text.
“Your mom,” TK tells Carlos. “She’s already planning the make-up dinner.”
An amused look takes over Carlos’s face. “Yeah, that sounds like her.”
“She and your dad will be happy to know you’re fully awake now,” TK says as he types back. “Everyone will be.”
Carlos smiles, already looking forward to seeing his family.
“And don’t you think I forgot about the new cooking and baking equipment you want,” TK lifts an eyebrow with a smirk. “We can check them online and buy all the ones you want.”
“They’ll come in handy when I’m recovering, that’s for sure,” Carlos replies, a hint of excitement coating his voice.
“And I am looking forward to your cooking and baking spree. As long as you don’t overwork or strain yourself.” After a moment of consideration, TK adds, “and we can hold off on the towels and sheets for now.”
“Are you sure?” Carlos asks, eyebrow lightly knitting together.
TK nods. “Yeah. Besides, I’ve come to realize that it’s you who makes that condo…home. You’re my home, ‘Los.”
“And you’re my all, Ty,” Carlos returns, pulling TK in for a passionate kiss.
TK’s eyes roam over Carlos’s face when they come up for air. He can draw Carlos’s features with his eyes closed, but he finds himself documenting every single detail, every ridge, every speck of the man mere inches away from him.
TK’s heart soars when Carlos gives him the smile that’s reserved for only him.
And TK thinks, yeah, we’re gonna be just fine.
Congratulations, punk! #19 made me LOL, so I'm picking that one!
Hope you’re cool with some Mama Reyes, punk. 💗💗
Carlos Reyes’ favorite place to cook has always been his mother’s kitchen. It’s not as modern as the kitchen he has at his condo – though he and his sisters have been slowly swapping older appliances for newer ones when their mother isn’t looking – it’s still his favorite place to cook because of the memories it brings back. It’s where his mother taught him every traditional Mexican dish under the sun, from Buñuelo to Pozole Verde, Chilaquiles and Mole, Tamales and Birria. His mother taught him every dish with care and affection, laughing and talking as they prepared the different plates. While his sisters always joined in, cooking has always been a special bond he has with his mother, and it all started in her kitchen, making it a place of refuge for him.
Right now, though, with his gorgeous boyfriend sitting on the kitchen counter, staring at him as he eats a cup of Fruta con lechera his mother handed him, it’s becoming a place of torture.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he says sternly. He keeps his eyes on the potatoes he’s peeling for dinner and not on the temptation that is currently taking up space in his mother’s kitchen.
“What else am I suppose to look at?” TK questions. Carlos can hear the amusement in his voice; the little shit knows he’s getting to Carlos without even trying. “Besides the fact that I like looking at you. You won’t let me help. So I have nothing to do.”
“You are a guest in this house. Mami will box my ears if I make you help,” he answers, finally looking over at TK just in time to see him lick some condensed milk off a piece of strawberry. The smirk TK gives him as he stares at him is way too pleased with himself.
“Want a bite?” he asks playfully, his green eyes sparkling as Carlos drops the potato peeler in the sink and starts to make his way over to him.
He stands in front of TK, his hands going to his thighs as he steps in between his knees. He feels his heart spike at the teasing smile on TK’s full lips, shining from the fruits’ juice. He scoops up a piece of fruit with his spoon, bringing it up between them.
“Choo-choo,” TK says mockingly, swaying the spoon back and forth. “Open up for the train,” he continues his teasing, grinning at the dry look that Carlos gives him.
He leans forward to take the piece of offered fruit, only for TK to pull the spoon back at the last minute and eat the fruit himself, smirking as he chews.
Carlos shakes his head, amused despite himself at his boyfriend’s antics. “Spoiled brat,” he murmurs, warmth spreading through him at the delighted laugh TK lets out in response. He reaches out, touching his thumb to TK’s smile, swiping at the drop of condensed milk on his bottom lip.
TK stops laughing, his breath catching as Carlos continues to touch him, tracing his lip softly.
“Carlos – “
“Mmm?” he questions absently, his focus now on TK’s beautiful mouth.
“If you don’t stop looking at my lips without doing anything about it,” TK starts, the warning in his voice clear as he presses his knees to Carlos’ hips, pulling him in closer. “Then I’ll have to take matters into my own hands. I will take you right here on this counter.”
Carlos feels his lungs seize, his body going hot at the visual TK’s words make. He goes to answer, already trying to figure out how to sneak TK upstairs without his mother, who is in the other room noticing, when the woman herself walks in.
“Not in my kitchen, you won’t,” she says, coming to stand by the archway. She gives him a look, eyebrow raised as she takes in the way he and TK are wrapped around each other. “Can’t leave you two alone for five minutes while I take a call from your Tia Lucy. Owen said you two were like horny teenagers, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”
Carlos feels himself blush from the root of his hair to his toes. He tries to take a step back, but TK doesn’t let him. Shameless as always, TK hangs off him unconcerned; he knows Carlota Reyes loves him too much to really blame him for this. Instead, TK gives her a curious look.
“When did you talk to my dad?” he asks, puzzled.
“We have our own chat,” Carlota answers with a shrug. “We made one for the parents the last time we all had dinner together; we added your mom too.”
“I don’t like that,” TK frowns.
“And I don’t like you trying to defile my baby boy in my kitchen, yet here we are, Tyler Kennedy,” she answers pointedly. It doesn’t fool Carlos for a second. He can see the amusement in her eyes.
TK doesn’t buy it either. He gives her that boyish grin of his that always gets him his way with any of the Reyes. “Then you shouldn’t have made him so pretty, Carlota.”
Carlota shakes her head, muttering under her breath even as she fights a smile. “Come on, if we want to eat today, you need to leave the kitchen, or you’ll never let Carlos finish. Out, into the living room with you.”
“Fine,” TK pouts, releasing his hold on Carlos, but not before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “To be continued, babe.”
TK hops off the counter, giving Carlota a kiss of her own as he walks by her, laughing when she slaps his shoulder.
Left alone, his mother looks at him again, chuckling when he shifts under her gaze. “You got your work cut out with that one, nene,” she tells him, amused. “At least you’ll never be bored.”
She leaves him in the kitchen, letting him get back to cooking in his special place. Distantly he can hear her and TK chatting and laughing together. He smiles as he goes back to his potatoes, grateful for another beautiful memory made in his mother’s kitchen.
For @howtosingit’s Next To You series, the third, October chapter!
THE OCTOBER CHAPTER WAS MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE! Oh my gosh I have four pieces lined up for this chapter already lol ;) Brian, I hope you know how much of a treasure you are. This one doesn’t have as great a pose as I would’ve liked, but I was focusing on painting, and I’m pretty proud of how that turned out.
There’s another version of the painting below the cut, along with my pose reference. Let me know which one you like better!
Click for more detail!
Pose Ref:






