#hrt_notes

[05-02-1983]

just did my first t shot yayayyayyayyyy

[05-02-1983]

i was wondering why the back of my throat feels kind of sore but i am not sick anymore and i havent deepthroated someone in three weeks—it's the FUCKING TESTOSTERONE

[05-02-1983]

i refuse to let him take over my life but i cannot help but realize that my gender identity is all wacked out ever since The Incident. i feel myself wanting to retreat into femininity and womanhood because it feels sort of safer, which seems counterintuitive. but maybe i'm wanting to distance myself from Men™ and not wanting to be associated with that, but not all men includes me i guess. but i really do feel nonbinary transmasc and not a Man™. but i feel like i took such a hard left turn after The Incident, like not being sure if i want to continue hrt. to be fair, i have other issues with hrt (having to use a different route since i'm allergic to the injectable serum). well idk i guess i shall sleep on it. i'm in no rush.

[05-02-1983]

just realizing i might need to start shaving. my face. dear god. i refuse to look like a ratty middle school asian boy

[05-02-1983]

my voice hasnt changed much from the T. i dont think at all tbh. i am on a super low dose so idk

[05-02-1983]

ive gotten so gay that sam is. too fem?!?!?? for me. what the fuck is this T doing to me 😭

[05-02-1983]

i'm at that point in my nonbinary swag where guys think i'm a guy and girls think i'm a girl what does this fucking mean

[05-02-1983]

i really am mad that t shots dont work for me UGHH