#hs 212

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

callout post for @armadilly

new kissmesis

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

Rose: *sneaking into bed at 3:26 am with a can of baked beans and a fork while Kanaya's asleep*

Kanaya: *senses something coming into the room*

Rose: *starts eating the beans slowly as to not make any noise while nervously glancing at her wife to gauge the sound and trying to open up her Google Document on Why the Sexy Spy Car from Cars 2 is a top*

Kanaya, upon hearing these weird ass snacking noises: (SOMETHING IS TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE!!!!!!! ATTACK!!!!! I MUST PROTECT!!!!!!!!)

Kanaya: *spins around and smacks Rose and the can of beans with her arm while half asleep*

Rose: A! *beans are flung out of her hand. they go everywhere*

Kanaya, waking up as beans land on her face: BLUH

Rose, sitting there, mortified:

Kanaya: *sits up and looks at Rose*

Rose:

Kanaya:

Rose:

Kanaya, with a can now on her horns:

Rose:

Kanaya:

Rose:

Kanaya:

Rose:

Kanaya, pointing at rose: This African American Is Eating Beans

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

erigam is powerful bc its both of your problematic favs but in Love

YES!!!!!!! PALE ERIGAM FUELS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

this is dave

[sour-gummi-kiwi]

hey here are some Shitty post-game troll kingdom ideas

I had a cool convo with @sparkliee so im gonna unlock the secrets of the universe via copy paste

There are only 4 (four) colours of blood, Cerulean, teal, jade, (all jade bloods are rainbow drinkers now, but whether or not they Activate is their own choice) and Candy Red. The population is about equal between them all, 35% red, 21% for the others. The difference is because hybrids exist, and as ppl got older and Libidos came into creation, prospitians, dersites, and humans all have red blood, changing the balance a bit. If a Teal blood and a prospitian were to make a baby, it would have red blood to support the prospitian features. It would be far more unbalanced if the species had been resurrected more than 20 years ago, but the balance will tip largely eventually. There are only four blood colors b/c the trolls that had them lived, and everyone else died to hard to get the genetic material back. (it  has to be jizz, unfortunately) and no one  wants to EVEN THINK abt gamzee here, lets b real.

The hemospectrum hierarchy can't even exist with so few blood colours, especially since the population amounts per colour are so even. Should things shift enough, or purple bloods return so there's more colours, the hemospectrum won't come back because it's Shitty, and the Kungeys would kick ur ass into the nth dimension if u tried to bring it back.

Before terezi hoofed it to find vriska, she oversaw the justice system in the trollian kingdom, and helped improve others elsewhere!!!! She was on earth for 5 years and set up all the laws, and how to deal with people that break them.

No Murder. Its illegal, just like it is in the rest of the world. No matter what, you cannot assist in a suicide bc thats murder!!!! if someone does you dirty, and not in a kissmesis way, u tell the Cops in your CH or area!!! (they can be found where the info gatherers are)

No Stealing. things still belong to people u stupid head, just barter with them for it!!!! Refusing to give service for something also counts as theft!!! if its not up for sale, or its in their h o m e, fUCK OFF!!!!!!! the punishment for this ranges, depending on previous arrests and the importance of said item. IF YOU STEAL A  P E R S O N YOU CAN BE HELD TO THE SAME STANDARD AS A MURDER!!!!!!!!!!!

Attempting to Bring Harm to another person is illegal, Unless That Person Is Your Kissmesis. You cant just assault someone if you’re in a bad mood!!!! Get ur kissmesis and a bucket, Dave’s sake. 

Attempting to Spread Ideals that Contradict That of The New State is Illegal. this might sound like "don't criticize the government or u go to jail" but its just dont bring back shit like the hemospectrum, anything like that. No nazis in our country.

Those are the big 4, basically anything else falls into one of those. (rape is #3 but even if its ur kissmesis its illegal.)

The jury Was, at first, the best lawyers terezi could find, but as time went on, actual Trolls took those places. Its 7 people, a prosecutor and defence lawyer, and the judge.  Since there's so little crime (b/c ppl are happy and don't feel the need to do Bad Stuff) Terezi herself is the Judge (while she was gone it was Rose), and shit gets INTENSE!!!! Its innocent until proven guilty on paper, but terezi is far more "guilty until proven innocent"-minded, so these trials can get S P I C Y. there was a small spike in crime for the first, like year or so, while terezi was gone looking for vriska. Once she was back, things changed back to normal. There has only been about 375 cases in the whole 20 years, most disputes over if something was "paid off" properly. Those are solved pretty easy. There has only been a couple dozen reports of #3, two of #1, and none of #4. There has only been about 375 cases in the whole 20 years, most disputes over if something was "paid off" properly. Those are solved pretty easy. There has only been a couple dozen reports of #3, two of #1, and none of #4.

Its been abt 20 years since the kiddos arrived on earth, and the trolls took their new kingdom to like, northern africa and the whole kingdom is no bigger than iran

It's just barter instead of money, and since money doesn't "exist," ppl just sort of, do stuff like build roads and stuff at the request of the Kringles, and they give them stuff in return. When dealing with other cultures that use currency, trolls kind of do that "if u give me a free coffee i'll clean your kitchen for u" thing. Other countries are p respectful abt the whole thing. 

Jobs are abundant, as trolls can do Lots of stuff humans can't (psiconics, animal communication, mind control) but they also do regular stuff in their society, like cook, clean, and do service jobs.

There are Communal Hives along with the regular 1 troll hive. Communal hives are like, first nations log houses (idk if u know what that is but its VERY accurate to what im going for here) but REALLY big buildings. There can be anywhere from 60 to 250 trolls living in a single communal hive. Once a troll turns, like 10, they can make the choice of going to a CH (communal hive) or staying on their own. This decision can be changed at any time, but all the stuff u have to do to get in a CH (like proof of identity, ur passport, the stuff u got) is more complicated the older you get. People still got lussi, but there are far more rules on what types of creatures can even be lussi (Vriska's for example, just wouldn't happen), and one would also get to take your lusus with you when you enter it. It’s the school and living space of most trolls.

Politics don't really exist for trolls?? Whoever is incharge of your CH tells "info collectors" what the deal with stuff is, then its overseen and sent off to the royals (kanaya+karkat) so they can do stuff. Ppl that live on their own have info collectors assigned to an area, and if u live there u tell them the deal. 

Cities in Troll Town (i dont got a name yet r ip) are basically just out door malls? like they got hotels ("u sleep here but u gotta fix it after, capiche?? and do ur own dishes, for Dave's sake") and stuff, but they're mostly hUGE barter places, where u trade stuff for other stuff. Things like libraries are in CH's but u can find more expansive ones in cities, there are universities, places u go when u want to learn more, and they're just university but Good, and most cities have a couple CH's in the area (like half a mile away or so) so ppl can actually. Go there. 

Trollian cities like Captor, Medigo, Ampora (yes i named them after the dead kiddos b/c they need to be remembered somehow) are H U G E attractions to other races. 

Ampora is a coastal town, big in fishing, and you can take tours of the waters there in submarines and stuff, theres lots of resorts.

Captor is mostly technology based, with Universities creating Cool New stuff all the time. Imagine troll tokyo.

Medigo is right in the desert, and has the biggest population of non-trolls in the trollian kingdom, humans mostly, b/c theres lots of stuff about history there, and the most expansive shows telling the tales of the gods (basically a play of all of homestuck) are there.

Knowledge of the gods and their stories are treated as history lessons all over the globe, and knowing what to do should you be chosen to play the game is knowledge as universal as knowing what friendship is. U gotta know this stuff, just in case.