It took me a very long time to come up with a cocaine related storyline for Sandy and Emily. not sure what the policy on :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧ is. is ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: a word?
Snow-- Blakeverse Emily/Sandy CW: Drugs
Emily recalled Sandy on shrooms admiring Emily's velvet dress, roaming hands that weren't sexual. She remembered Sandy's roaming hands on Molly. More sexual.
For whatever reason, Sandy had a strict "no skiing" policy. After a party that went all kinds of wrong, she just didn't want it in her house.
Emily found it a little funny. She decided a gag gift was in order. She worked on it whenever Sandy was busy, hid it away.
Sandy pulled the needle point from the bag. She pinched her lips between her teeth as she laughed.
:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧Please don't do coke in the bathroom.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:
Chocolate also took a while cuz i couldn't decide how krobus feels about it. After some time referencing the ancient texts I've come to a decision.
Chocolate-- OC Tyler/Krobus
After discovering licorice, Krobus wanted to try all sorts of human sweets. He found he didn't like any of them. Gummies were too chewy, and Tyler's marshmallow cereal left a weird film in his mouth.
Tyler made him some hot chocolate, which sort of looked like the coffee Harvey drank. Krobus did like coffee, so maybe this would be good.
He took a sip. Stuck out his tongue. "Bleh."
Tyler shook their head. "I'm guessing it's a no."
"The temperature is quite pleasant, but it's… creamy?"
"Creamy is bad?"
Krobus nodded. "Very bad."
Tyler gave up. Krobus only liked licorice.
Thank you so much, Hully! I actually did a little bit of drabbling for you, just a early-stage visual of a scene I've been mulling over. Tbh most of this WIP exists in my very messy notes-and-outline doc.
🌈 Getting Lucky
“Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons! Hourglasses, rainbows, and tasty red balloons! You humans are always after something or other, never satisfied with what you already have,” Lucky said, voice dropping a full octave. He straightened, fingernails tapping the top of the stump.
The leprechaun seemed to be growing… taller? Elliott had initially thought Lucky stood maybe at knee height, but there was no mistaking it: Lucky barely needed to angle his head to look Elliott squarely between the eyes, and his suit was lengthening to match, broadening in the shoulders and shining with intricate whorls and knots of gold embroidery. As Elliott goggled, the mascot’s ears developed points, his skin tinged lichen green, a coppery beard crawling along his rounded jaw.
“Well,” said Lucky, smiling with teeth that were too sharp to be human. “Do you really understand what you are after?”
{Send me an emoji for one of my WIPs and I'll tell you about what I'm working on!}
Hi Cinnia! This is, perhaps, more unhinged than you wanted, but as long as we're talking underrepresented characters on Discord, any ideas on how you'd handle Gil/Sterling?
Unhinged, you say? Boi, Hully, do I have the ask response for you 😈 (and yes, this one definitely goes into full fic territory because I got very carried away lol)
(General disclaimer that I don’t hold any hate in my heart for the characters featured in this rarepair response and please mind the warning tags etc etc. I promise the warning tags make sense in context.)
Content Warnings: Major Character Death, Violence, Gore, Emetophobia, Strangulation, Sexual Themes (nothing explicit)
Thunder rumbled threateningly in the Cindersap as Sterling Cooper made his way up the hill to the Wizard’s Tower, mermaid pendant in his hand and a promise in his heart. Shane had wanted to go, almost coming to blows with him over the decision, but Sterling insisted on being the one to do it, reminding Shane that he had a daughter to look after. No, it had to be Sterling, because he was the only one left who could do it.
(“Oh, Mister Cooper,” Suki said, ducking her head out of her cart. “I’m afraid I’ve done a terrible thing. At first I thought Plumbeard was a kind benefactor to purchase so many of my wares, but after what happened to that Penny girl…” She shuddered.
Sterling smiled grimly. He did know, or at least strongly suspected. Something had to be done, and the Old Mariner had been only too willing to sell him the pendant, saying something about Sterling being finally ready for it, whatever that meant.
She squinted at him, registering the glowing shell in his hand. Ducking into her cart for a moment, she passed a life elixir to him. “On the house, because I have a feeling. You have to stop him before he strikes again.”
“I will,” he said, and meant it. The knife hidden in his boot felt heavy against his ankle.)
Sterling rapped the door knocker, the sound loud against the sudden silence of the birds and insects, the Cindersap taking a breath before the storm broke. He mentally ran through his plan: Offer himself, expedite the wedding, get Plumbeard to drop his guard, and then when all was well…
The door opened, and the older man watching him from the entrance, dressed elegantly in a black suit, was definitely not Plumbeard. For one, his beard was steel grey, not the violent purple Shane had described of the night Plumbeard came for Marnie. For another, his eyes were too kind, a warm brown lined with crow’s feet, as if he just saw something amusing. The man leaned heavily on a cane, the brass handle shaped like a dragon’s head.
Sterling lifted the pendant in his hands, shifting awkwardly. “My name is Sterling Cooper and I’ve come to marry Plumbeard.”
The man lifted an eyebrow, assessing Sterling in a glance from head to toe that left Sterling feeling oddly as though the man could see what he had in his boot. “I am Gilberte Pennyworth, Wizard Plumbeard’s butler.”
“He has a butler?” Sterling asked. It did make sense for the owner of a grand tower to have servants, but he hadn’t thought of potential witnesses when making plans. He mentally adjusted a few steps. Step 1: Keep the butler too preoccupied to notice anything awry.
“He does now,” said Gilberte, a tad gruffly. He cleared his throat. “I will show you to him.”
Sterling was led to a large room with a raised ceiling, a cauldron bubbling odd and green in the center. Plumbeard loomed over it, face shrouded by his black cloak and wizard’s hat. He turned at their arrival and to Sterling’s surprise, he didn’t look like the hulking monster he had expected. He had the appearance of a man in his mid-fifties, with eyes the same shade as the asters growing in the Cindersap. It was a discomforting thought, that someone who looked so disarming had done what he had.
Plumbeard tilted his head owlishly. “What is it, Gilberte?”
“The young man wishes to wed you, master.”
The wizard smiled, all even teeth where there should have been fangs. He moved closer, tilting Sterling’s chin up, lifting an arm this way or that. Sterling allowed it, his skin crawling. “I accept,” Plumbeard proclaimed at last, taking the mermaid pendant out of Sterling’s hands. (If Sterling’s fingers trembled, no one mentioned it.) “Such beauty in one like him should be treasured, not gathering dust on Pierre’s shelves. We will wed immediately, if you would do us the honor, Gilberte.”
Panic flooded Sterling’s nerves, even as he did his best to keep his face pleasant, the very picture of an eager bride-to-be. It was all over, then. Plumbeard knew about his connection to Caroline’s disappearance, his job, probably the knife as well and…
But then the oddest thing happened: Sterling twisted a little in Plumbeard’s grasp, just enough to see Gilberte’s face, and the butler winked.
Although he couldn’t say why, Sterling’s panic died down and he began to think again. Of course the wizard knew what everyone in town did for work. He visited for festivals and such. There was only so much Plumbeard could know about Sterling Cooper, and if he had known what was in store for him, surely he would have killed Sterling before he had a chance to create potential witnesses through Suki and Gilberte.
He relaxed, turning his face up towards Plumbeard’s in a sultry smirk. “I would be happy to marry you this very night, lover. Someone as magnificent as you shouldn’t deny yourself anything.” (He could internally hear Henry gagging at the nonsense coming out of his mouth.)
Gilberte wed them in quite possibly the most perfunctory ceremony Sterling had ever experienced, words barely exchanged before Plumbeard encircled Sterling’s neck with a purple pendant and kissed him roughly. He tasted like rotting flowers.
Abruptly, Plumbeard looked off to the side and started speaking, as if there was a wedding guest who had been there the entire time but Sterling’s brain inexplicably slid past them. “Now, Camilla? I’m rather preoccupied, as you can see… Yes, yes. Alright. I’ll be there shortly.”
He turned to Sterling and Gilberte, a deep frown furrowing his face. “I have been called away on emergency wizard business. You two are to remain here, and do not permit anyone else to enter the tower.” The or else seemed implied. Sterling nodded, and shielded his eyes as Plumbeard disappeared in a flash of light.
The thunder rolled again, and the rain pattered against the windows, hesitantly at first, and then developing into a steady downpour. Gilberte nodded to himself, murmuring something Sterling didn’t quite catch. He caught Sterling’s eye with a wry smile.
“Well, lad. Are you ready?”
“Ready for what?” Sterling’s imagination leaped (a tad hysterically) to being trussed up for Plumbeard’s latest wedding night in lacey negligee, like a horny batch of Mia’s petit fours.
“To catch a monster, of course,” Gilberte said, as if it was something he suggested to every thirty-something with a grudge.
Sterling blinked. Blinked again, then grinned, slow and real this time. “So you knew the entire time? Damn, you almost beat me to the punch.”
The butler harrumphed and leaned on his cane as he took the steps back downstairs. “This ain’t my first rodeo. I know the look of men who have the killing intent, eh? But this monster won’t be as simple to net, if I’ve judged him right. Now come along. He won’t be gone forever and my knees have been too shit lately to allow me to properly inspect the basement whenever he leaves.”
It was all Sterling needed to hear, and he slipped an arm under Gilberte’s, allowing him to lean his weight as they descended. Their progress was necessarily slow, especially with the ghostly blue lamplight as they spiraled lower and lower. The air grew cold enough that their breath began to cloud, twin signs of the living as they searched for the missing.
“Who’re you here for?” Gilberte asked him.
“All of them,” Sterling responded. Then he thought about it and admitted, more truthfully: “Caroline helped raise me when I was a shitty kid. I totally owe her one. And Shane hasn’t been the same since Marnie disappeared. She seemed like she was on to something and then—” He gestured helplessly with his free hand.
Gilberte nodded. When he spoke, his voice was quiet and sorrowful. “Marlon said he could do it, and I believed him. Never a monster that could have stopped him, you know? Until now, I suppose. When he didn’t come back, I went looking for him myself, convinced the monster that he needed a butler with a strong gift of discretion.” He paused on the next landing, holding Sterling’s gaze. “I was too late for her, Sterling. She disappeared before I could warn her off.”
Sterling had already suspected as much, but his heart still clenched with unreleased grief, and the back of his throat hurt something fierce, burning like a swig of undiluted whiskey. He looked away, the dark belly of the tower distracting his stinging eyes. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered.
“All monsters can be dealt with,” Gilberte told him, continuing on their way. “Even this one.”
The basement held an odd array of glowing booths that Gilberte told him to avoid touching at any cost, muttering something alarming about alternate realms and continents. Plumbeard also had a library filled ceiling to floor with large tomes, some of them looking bound in a material Sterling didn’t want to inspect too closely. Gilberte frowned at the books and the walls, their vision dimmed to the meager light provided by the moonstones, as the lamp light hadn't extended this far.
“We’re missing something, Cooper. I’ve mapped out the upper floors well enough, and I know from my maps that this tower should have a floor beneath this one.”
As best as he tried with his better mobility, Sterling couldn’t find any of the signs Gilberte instructed him to look for: tomes strategically awry, tapestries hiding handles, trap doors beneath chairs. Time was running out for them, and they knew it. Sweat dripped down his back as he hunted fruitlessly a third time.
“I see,” said Gilberte, rubbing his chin. “We’ll have to brute force it, then.” He pulled a rectangular and metallic object from his hip satchel and set it on the stone tiles, drawing a circle in chalk around it. He spoke another strange series of words, and the rectangle expanded with shining light, then sunk abruptly into the floor, the stone beneath it crumbling. As Sterling watched in fascination, a new stairwell appeared.
Gilberte started down again. “Well, Cooper? Are you coming or not?”
They took the magical stairwell, and about halfway down, the smell of death hit them with a wave of nausea. Exchanging a wide-eyed glance with Gilberte, acute urgency propelled them towards a sight Sterling was utterly unprepared for.
Gleaming hooks beneath stained spouse portraits, skin stretched and mottled and ripped, the blood, the blood, blood and—
He stepped away from Gilberte and vomited in the corner, until there was nothing left in him but bile and grief and horror. Gilberte squeezed his hands when he returned to the stairwell, saying nothing, because there was nothing that could be said for something like that.
“Dearest husband, I am back!” The voice was distant, but clear enough.
Sterling met Gilberte’s eyes, the panic in them a reflection of his own, and then Gilberte clapped him on the back and whispered loudly, “Go. I’ll follow.”
He rushed back up the stairs as quickly as he could, out of breath and face reddened by the time he found the room with the cauldron. He did his best to gather his wits, desperately hoping the Plumbeard wasn’t planning to drag him immediately to that nightmare place on their wedding night.
“So… sorry… my darling husband,” Sterling wheezed. “I got lost trying to find our bedroom. Preparing myself for you, see?” He batted his eyelashes.
Plumbeard gripped him by the chin again and growled, “And that’s why your boots are covered in blood, is it?”
Sterling flinched. He hadn’t even thought of that. “Uh,” he tried weakly, “I killed a… slime? Along the way?”
His husband’s forehead wrinkled in confusion, grip loosening slightly, just enough for Sterling to dive for the knife at his boot, gripping the handle and aiming for Plumbeard’s dark and wicked heart—
His hand stopped millimeters from its target, as if hitting a pane of glass. He tried again while Plumbeard watched in amusement, hands lifted to the side as if to show what he could do without even touching Sterling. After a third attempt, Plumbeard said mildly, “I grow tired of this. End it.”
The pendant around Sterling’s neck began to tighten, allowing him one final ragged gasp of air before breathing became utterly impossible. Spots of light and black danced in his vision as he scrabbled for the necklace chain, fingers fruitlessly finding no give beneath the metal, his knees collapsing to the floor as Plumbeard stared down at him, face expressionless.
And as the realization sunk in, that Gilberte would find another lifeless body left by Plumbeard, Sterling scrabbled for the knife and with one last spark of strength, stabbed it into Plumbeard’s boot as hard as he could.
Plumbeard howled in rage. “I’ll gut you like a pig for that one, you wretched worm!”
Sterling was too oxygen-deprived to care. He watched in fascination as Plumbeard gasped and doubled over, almost as if to reach for the dagger, but then he turned slightly and Sterling saw the sword blade neatly running him through his heart. He collapsed in a mirror of Sterling, a trail of blood dribbling from his mouth.
Abruptly, the chain loosened and the shell around Sterling’s neck shattered. He inhaled sharply, every breath painfully wonderful. Gilberte stepped over Plumbeard’s corpse, helping Sterling up with his warm and firm hands. “Marlon always said a sword in a cane was foolish. Better to go openly armed, he’d say. But I won our argument in the end, I suppose,” he mused.
“You saved me,” Sterling croaked, now leaning on Gilberte for support. “How the fuck did you get back here so quickly?” The room still spun a little, so he focused on gulping more air.
Gilberte patted his shoulder. “Took a guess on one of those warps and fortunately got it right. Elsewise probably both of us would be dead. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if I let you get hurt, too.”
Maybe it was the near-strangulation talking, but Sterling was, at heart, Sterling Cooper, and so he could only respond to near-death situations in his own specific flavor. He took Gilberte’s shoulders, eyes shining, and asked, “Gilberte Pennyworth, you incredible fake butler and better warrior, would you like to go for a drink with me at the Stardrop?”
The fake butler’s eyebrows nearly shot to the tower roof. “Well, aren’t you forward?”
Sterling grinned, feeling better than he had in many seasons. “Can’t blame me for trying. Saving me with a sword was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“If you say so. Truth be told, I wouldn’t mind a beer.” Gilberte said. He rubbed his beard thoughtfully and pulled a rolled, wide-brimmed hat out of his satchel, placing it on his head. Clasping Sterling’s hands, Gilberte added, “You can call me Gil.”
Misc. shipping thoughts:
I refuse to apologize for writing this adlkfjas;dlkfjasd. This was the most fun I’ve had in writing a Crack Treated Seriously idea in a looooong while. Also if you weren’t a child who was weirdly invested in dark fairy tales like Bluebeard, I recommend reading the original tale for yourself.
My partner knew I was researching Bluebeard and knew I was struggling with coming up with a reason for why Sterling and Gil would plausibly get together, but she actually didn’t put two and two together for a bit and her delight when she realized is precisely why I wrote this fic. 💗
For extra angst: The context is that Marlon was Gil’s husband, if you want even more pain. Marnie was still interested in Marlon, but not as close to him as in some Marlon/Marnie or Marlon/Marnie/Gil fanons.
Sterling and Gil don’t really interact at all in Always Raining in the Valley so I figured it was a safe bet that between that and Gil’s incognito mode, Sterling wouldn’t know who he was at first. Theoretically I could have slowed things down and written a very long fic in response to build up the background/plot but fairy tales rarely have time for that and also I figured maybe I should show mercy to the fans of all the characters murdered.
Up to you if you think Camilla SVE was in on the plot or not. Also this is an AU where Morgan SVE doesn’t exist bc I wouldn’t traumatize them like that akfld;jasdk
The Wizard’s death tally, in order of death: Caroline, Olivia, Elliott, Penny, Marlon, Marnie (who was the final straw for Sterling for obvious reasons). (Yeah this is the second rarepair answer where the awful noises from the tower serve as ship inspo lol)
I did get all the way to the end and realized the life elixir wasn’t even necessary, oops. Maybe we’ll pretend Gil made Sterling drink it on the way to the Saloon.
Yes, I did also write this entirely for the The Butler Did It bit.
{Ask Game: Send me any Stardew Valley rarepairs (including non-marriage candidates) and I will tell you how I would make them work! This post has the list of asks already answered :D}
Hehehehe thank you for asking hully! have this out of context Abby Marlon moment yippee yippee
Abby pinched her top lip tight under her teeth as soon as the words left her mouth, only getting more nervous now that she'd said it.
Marlon froze for a moment, before his eye snapped up from his paperwork to stare at her as if he'd been slapped. "Is that so?"
Abby nodded hesitantly. "I'm sorry, I just—"
"Don't" Marlon interrupted, holding a hand up to stop her. He smiled. Bitter. Forced. "I understand. Don't worry about it," he continued, and Abby could just tell he was lying. Still, she chose to shut her mouth and at least act like she bought it. As best she could anyway.
Marlon straightened out his papers before walking at a snails pace around the counter, as if moving more slowly than usual would make it so Abby and Gil wouldn't pick up on anything. Abby flinched when he snatched up his amethyst before hurrying the rest of the way into the apartment, leaving Abby and Gil alone.
Abby looked over to Gil, sat in his rocking chair. "How long do you think he'll be pissed at me this time?"
Gil sighed and shook his head. "I'd just go home now."
Hi Hully! So glad you asked and I hope some of these fics aren't ones you've read already haha
5. Recommend a gen fic (no pairings).
Winter's Tenants by angstywitch is so cute! Genfic about the sdv kids and the mysterious raccoon family and the writing made me smile so widely while reading it. It's one of the most heartwarming fics I've ever read :cuteblob:
8. Recommend a fic with an interesting premise/concept.
It's an old fic, but I noticed you like comics and might have enjoyed Calvin & Hobbes at some point in your life, so I recommend Stupendous Man and Pretty Cool Dude (for an old guy) Join Forces! by mjules (you'll have to log in to read it). It's a cute fic about Calvin's uncle set during a certain queer historical context (to not give too much away) and is a very sweet and heartwarming read. I love the way Calvin is written; very true to that blend of chaos, mischief, and love all six-year-olds seem to carry in their souls.
Ooh, thank you, Hully! I talked a little bit about its blurb and gave a very old snippet here but for this ask, I'll natter on a little more about the central characters to the narrative (using the names I gave them back then, but they'll probably change at some point):
Suvi: Deeply fascinated by the monsters and the specific branch of magic the nuns use in order to communicate with the monsters and have a mutualistic relationship (to an extent; the monsters are still very dangerous). She is also far too curious for her own good and prone to defying restrictions in order to test a theory or do something if she thinks it could save someone's life.
Hana: Clever but also deeply lazy; prone to skipping steps if she thinks they're a waste of time (think: banal paperwork to document things). Very ride-or-die but easily distracted by a pretty face. You want her in your corner to back you up, but you might have to drag her away from someone's mouth first.
Kaisa: Stern, no-nonsense leader of the trainee nuns who is exceptionally suspicious of outsiders to the city-state and the nunnery. To clue you in on what makes her more intriguing than a typical "wizard school teacher who is no fun" stereotype, she is basically that one meme: "Never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, or Kaisa who her ex-girlfriend is."
{Ask me about one of the WIPs in my writing folder!}
Wow what a crazy coincidence that I saw this immediately. Anyway
28. "Are you for real?" - Mother In Law
and
75. "And here we go again..." - Blake Farm-iverse Sandy & Shane
please and thank you! <3
28. "Are you for real?" - Mother In Law
In his prime, Gil had been one of the strongest adventurers Marlon had ever met. A gritty man with a high kill count. Having been married all these years, Marlon knew the truth behind that mask: Gil wasn't so tough.
He laid in bed, motionless, a hot towel draped over his forehead. "Marlon, I'm dying."
"You have a cold, Gil."
Gil reached for the doorway. "Mona, is that you?"
Marlon followed his eye line, raising a brow. "Are you for real?"
"I can see the light, Marlon."
"That's a shame. You'll need be put down."
Gil glared, "You're no fun.
75. "And here we go again..." - Blake Farm-iverse Sandy & Shane
Shane wasn't sure how he ended up here, sharing the mic in a karaoke bar with Sandy. He was surprised he was enjoying himself.
"And here we go again, we know the start, we know the end. Master's of the sceeeene," Sandy sang, boldly dancing along.
Shane shuffled awkwardly. "We've done it all before, and now we're back to get some more. You know what I meeeean."
Sandy grabbed his shoulder, lightly shaking him as they sang, "Voulez-vooous!"
Shane loosened up, dancing alongside her.
Once they wrapped up, Sandy leaned in to whisper, "Think I found my new karaoke partner."
Fear that second prompt sent my brain straight to ABBA and i could not shake it, even tho it definitely requires a few more words. Oh well. Thank you hullygee i love you hullygee.
2. What movie have you watched most recently? What did you think of it?
so this took me a really long time to remember actually (i don’t watch a lot of movies) and it is in fact still return of the king which i watched. weeks ago, i think. I liked it🩷
LOTR does feel like a totally different trip, so I am trying to remember if I watched anything before that and tbh… before that might be the birdcage like two months ago. Love that fucking movie. it has everything. the only thing i’d change is the fact that it’s set in florida.
