#humanvoiceswake

[aureovitta]

@humanvoiceswake replied to your post:

wait is this the banana bread from that time she traded her husband's underwear for a bunch of brown bananas on twitter

yes haha i think the recipe is actually called “twitter and uncle mike’s banana bread” lmaooo. this pic is actually from like a month ago bc i’m lazy but i spent weeks being amped abt trying this recipe bc there were ingredients that made me go ?? coconut flakes! an entire box of vanilla pudding!?!?! but it was really good!

[aureovitta]

@humanvoiceswake: i just realized that booker is the (i think?) only member of team immortal that quynh hadn't met - ergo, she's spent 200 years only seeing andy thru booker's dreams!!! thanks!!!!

oh no you made it worse, you monster!!!!!!!!!! tell me more abt my crazy water drinking lesbian immortal

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your post

sometimes it’s puppers…. and sometimes it’s old fashioned doughnut memes

dislikes: almost everything at some point, including PLAIN DOUGHNUTS covered with SALT from all the ANGRY THRASHING of the WAVES from the SLIGHTED SEA GOATS

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your photoset

watch! this! garbage! (and tell me how it is)

i should have expected this from the person who is the reason i have an art print of goats in pajamas physically in my home

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your post: humanvoiceswake replied to your photoset ...

lgjfkdla;gj;lfda and his assassin handle/infamous nickname is ‘florida man’

extra points if he has an alligator for a housepet (the alligator participates in ZERO assassinations, he’s just a bro)

the alligator’s name is blake bortles

i want to post these on a separate post bc i am SCREAMING, everyone needs to see this

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your photoset “lissadiane: lightblindingme: livebloggingmydescentintomadness: ...”

oh my GOD bls i need a jason mendoza hitman AU

increasingly complex rube goldberg-type setups but it’s all an accident, like he sticks a piece of gum under a table and ends up with a collapsed building in back of him. he’s the most successful hitman of all time though

-- wait, no, what was that manga with the teenage girl who oopsied her way into becoming an assassin for the mafia or w/e? (googles) kanako’s life as an assassin! EXACTLY THIS BUT IN FLORIDA AND WITH A FLAMETHROWER

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your photo “3. (123) mashed potato and rice chocolate cake this is from rosie the...”

also ugh what cocoa powder did you use, your cake looks BEAUTIFULLY DARK and mine looks like a medium-brown puck

did your cake also run thru photoshop beforehand tho, lol

nah it really was more or less that dark! since the recipe didn’t specify (or i guess assumed i should know) i hedged my bets & used hershey’s special dark, which is a blend of natural & dutched - did u use natural, maybe?

[aureovitta]

humanvoiceswake replied to your photoset “thewanderingace: Roger has a flashback while trying to sing...”

i started laughing at this gifset bc i thought it was a shitpost before i got to the tags and realized it's outlander

NOW YOU SEE WHAT WE SUFFER THROUGH EVERY WEEK

im going to hijack this bc i just realized i stopped talking about this show on main but i’m still thinking about the birthday scene and it’s been A MONTH so i gotta... i gotta get them Performative Screams out

okay so like in the episode previous to roger Staring Vacantly for an Hour, jam n eclair are in a tent, about to go insert themselves into history again and jamie is like, it’s my BIRTHDAY and i shall also insert that unwashed scottish peen into your equally unwashed time traveling vag and so they do the fuck. 

side note we are supposed to believe that 38-39 (i forget when this was filmed) sam heughan is a 50 year old man in the 1770s and he looks like sam heughan in a wig but the same 20000 muscles and face. they give claire some attractively placed gray wig hair but they dont even bother with jamie’s bad wig. this only strengthens my theory that claire is keeping him youthful with the power of her time traveling bodily fluids

anyways not to make anyone think of claire’s terrifying ladyjizz powers

so claire climbs on top of him so they can do the fuck, and while they’re softcore thrusting she sings the happy birthday song to him and then more thrusting and unrebloggable content cuz claire tiddy which still makes me mad. im equal opportunity here! my reblogs look like i only care about one thing which is untrue! i care about TWO things!!!! or technically FOUR cuz they both got a pair each. fuck tumblr and their female presenting nipple ban. im an equal opportunity tiddy man and i resent not being able to reblog my support  

ive had two cups of coffee and caffeine fucks me up. i keep forgetting where my own fingers are, what was i talking about 

oh yeah, so it occurs to me that what claire was doing there was imitating the famous marilyn monroe “happy birthday mr president” number. but she’s singing this to a man in the 1770s who thinks germs are a hilarious joke. he doesn’t know who marilyn monroe is. he doesn’t know who jfk is. he doesn’t even know what american presidents are bc neither america nor us presidents exist. also, the happy birthday song hadn’t been invented yet either! so as far as he’s concerned, his wife is just singing a song that he has never heard the tune nor lyrics of before and she’s doing it in a weird breathy way while she jams herself on his fifty year old dick. i’d ask what could possibly have gone thru his head while this completely nonsensical thing is literally being thrust down upon him, but we all know jamie is incapable of real thoughts