Thank you for all the love on part one! I can never get enough of loser!ellie so here's some more. This is a mix of canon!ellie and modern!ellie. Slutty thoughts at the end. mdni (18+)
✩ She bought a skateboard because of some video she saw on TikTok, but she's actually really good at it. She likes it when you watch her and she tries to show off. She'll teach you if you let her, but that's mostly so she can feel you up while she's helping you. She will always be there to catch you when you fall. If you get so much as a bruise, she whips around with the first aid kit.
✩ If you mention any sort of interest that you have, she'll want to learn everything about it. Whether it's a song you like or your favorite book, she wants to know it inside and out. Her interests are really important to her, and she likes when you talk to her about them, so she wants to show you that same love.
✩ She will play guitar to impress you. In the game, this was her way of making a move on Dina and I just l love that ("Maybe I could play guitar for you later" 😏). I hate to say it, but she is definitely very pretentious about her music taste. She'd be like "I'm gonna play you a song, but you probably don't know it. It's pretty underground." Her skills make up for it, though. And watching her fingers slide across the fretboard is an added bonus.
✩ Her nails are so short. She's always playing with her fingers and biting her nails when she's nervous. She tries to grow her nails out on her left hand so she can strum her guitar better with her fingers, but she ends up biting them down every time.
✩ Speaking of her fidgeting, she loves it when you try to ease her anxiety. You're constantly pulling her fingers away from her mouth and setting your hand on her thigh to stop her from bouncing it. She'd really like it if you put your fingers in her mouth instead, but she wouldn't voice that.
✩ When she has a crush, she's aware that until she gets to know them, she's just falling for the version of them in her head, but she can't bring herself to care. She is a little delusional, but that's not going to stop her from imagining your wedding even though she has said maybe three words to you.
✩ Her brain malfunctions when she sees even the slightest glimpse of the skin under your clothes. When you lean forward and your shirt rides up your back a bit, her hand is already reaching out to grab you. She can't help it. The feeling of your soft skin against her palm is like heaven to her.
✩ If you got coffee together, she'd either order it black or as an iced espresso to seem cool and mysterious. She'd choke it down, but then you'd roll your eyes and share yours with her. It makes it even better because canonically she hates coffee, but she wants to at least try to like the things you like.
✩ She has terrible insomnia. Sometimes she forgets that you go to sleep at a normal time, and you'll wake up to find 20 text messages from her throughout the night. She'd take selfies in the .5 setting and tell you to set it as your phone background.
✩ She doesn't like coffee, but her insomnia has led her to ingest an unhealthy amount of energy drinks. She likes Monster the best because the cans look cool.
✩ She'd roll her eyes when you call her pretty, but she secretly loves it. Ellie has never really viewed herself as beautiful. It doesn't bother her, but she needs to be shown that beauty exists in other ways than the male gaze. She just wants to be your pretty girl :(
✩ This is off-topic, but she for sure has a thing for milfs. She'll joke about it with you, but she's dead serious. It's probably the mommy issues...
✩ Her phone case is clear but, as all clear phone cases do, turns brownish. She refuses to change it because there's a Polaroid of the two of you in the back and she's worried it will get bent if she tries to take the case off.
✩ Has polaroids of you everywhere. She doesn't actually own the camera, so she always steals it from you when she comes over. There's one in her wallet, a couple on her fridge, and a few special ones under her mattress ;)
✩ Anytime you go out, she will absolutely under no circumstances let you pay. Even if there's $2 in her bank account. She doesn't care. It's a pride thing. You remind her that she doesn't always have to take on that role in the relationship, but she just wants to take care of you.
✩ She will not bring you around Joel until you are officially together because he can be clueless and will expose her loserish ways. He's also one of the most important people in her life, so she wants to be sure you'll stick around before she gets more vulnerable with you.
✩ She loves feeling wanted. So many people have abandoned her in her life that she needs someone who is secure and will sort of act as a foundation. She loves when out of your way to do things for her without expecting anything in return.
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✩ Just because of all she's been through, I can't imagine her liking choking. But that being said, she loves it if you just rest your hand at the base of her neck or over her pulse point. She likes the weight of it and the trust it shows. Her hand always seems to find its way there on your neck when things are getting steamy.
✩ I could see her calling herself "daddy" as a joke. Like when she hits her target on the first try she'd jokingly say "Who's your daddy?" But if you kept bringing it up and initiated it in the bedroom, I think she would accidentally develop a liking for it. She'd try and fail to suppress laughter if you called her "mommy" though.
✩ She loves to mark you. Sometimes she feels like she doesn't deserve you, so it helps her to look at the marks she leaves behind and remember those tender moments between the two of you.
✩ One time she was going down on you, and all the stimulation randomly disappeared. You looked down and she was leaving hickeys in the shape of an "E" on your inner thigh. She likes having little secrets like that. Sure, you have other friends and commitments, but at the end of the day, you will be hers in ways people can't even comprehend.
✩ Poor baby would combust when you praise her. Just keep telling her how good she's doing and how she's making you feel. She can nearly get off to your voice on its own.
✩ She has a thing for morning sex. You aren't sure if it's your messy hair or the sound of your groggy morning voice, but she can't get enough of you. She loves that you are the first thing she sees in the morning and gets so overwhelmed with emotion that she just has to show you what she's thinking about.
✩ She's not grossed out by period sex. She won't go down on you, but she's seen plenty of grosser things than a little blood. Plus she hates to see you in pain and will do anything to give you relief. Even if it's only temporary.
✩ You'll just be going through your day, and she'll randomly send you the horniest, filthiest text to ever exist. She might even send a photo of how you're making her feel if you're lucky.
✩ This is another thing she won't admit, but she loves when you tease her. She'll complain and whine and cover her blushy face with her fists, but she likes being under your control. And the payoff is worth it, of course.
✩ She's a hypocrite because she's an even bigger tease than you are. She'll wear rings just because you like them on her and rub her middle and ring finger around the rim of her glass in public. She'll keep you chasing for it until you're practically on your knees begging.
✩ If you put "my" in front of the pet names you use on her, you can visibly see her pupils dilate. She doesn't really care what you call her as long as she's yours.
✩ She really likes edging you, but if you even try that with her, she'll push you away and start getting herself off. There's only so much she can take before the chase gets to be too much.
✩ Before you got together, I think she would masturbate as much as you could in an apocalypse. But after it's official, I think she would rather wait for you than get off herself. She has the polaroids of you for dire circumstances like when she has to be away for a while, but to her, there's nothing better than the real thing. She knows from experience that your hand down her pant feels much better than her own.
I saw this TikTok and I'm having thoughts. I feel like I've had a revelation because Ellie and Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker give off the exact same energy. Dorky losers who are somehow simultaneously cool, especially when they're in their element. They even look similar. And they both have hot gfs. Oh, sorry. I should say they both had hot gfs.
Just imagine Ellie being confident and goofy when she's in the suit, but then when she actually has to see you face-to-face, she gets all blushy and nervous. The angst! College!Ellie?? Joel as Aunt May?? And her doing the little spidey pose!
I'm actually disintegrating. Someone help.
I'll be posting what could potentially be the start of a spiderman!ellie series very soon. In the meantime, here's a sneak peek ;)
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"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. It's just-I forgot my phone and I..."
You stop in your tracks after taking a better look at her. She's cute. Her face is covered in a constellation of freckles, and her eyes are the same shade of green as the Nirvana t-shirt beneath her flannel. From this side, you can see the piece of soft, auburn hair that's fallen from her up-do. Your hand twitches forward, as if to push it back where it belongs.
But that's not all you realize. You've seen her before. You're sure of it, but you can't seem to place where. Those green eyes. It would be hard to forget being under their scrutiny.
She's still gathering her notes, but there are so many papers that she's crumpling them all. Your hands reach over to pull hers away, and you begin to place the papers in a neat stack.
You don't miss the sharp inhale she takes when your hand grazes hers. She reaches over to begin storing the chemicals of whatever project she's working on. Her nervous energy is rubbing off on you, and you feel your heart start to race.
She's the first to break the silence.
"No, God, please don't apologize. I didn't mean to... never mind."
Her mind seems to be following your train of thought because she says, "You're in Huxley's Gen Chem, right? Are you..." she pauses, eyes turning up in thought, "Y/N?"
"Yeah, that's me! I knew you looked familiar. You're in there helping sometimes, right? What's your name again?"
She quirks an eyebrow. "You don't know my name?"
You think she's teasing, but you can't be sure. The apples of your cheeks heat up under her gaze. The room feels too hot, like a sweltering July afternoon.
"No, I know your name. I just wanna know if you know your name?" you say, the corner of your mouth turning up.
She lets out a shaky laugh and pulls her bag out from under the desk. Taking the stack of papers from your hands, she shoves them into the front pocket.
"Ellie," she says.
You motion for her to keep going. There are a million girls named Ellie in New York.
"Sorry," she says, rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand. "Williams. Ellie Williams."
"Okay, good. Just had to make sure."
She nods. In the split second you look away, she manages to clear the rest of her supplies from the table.
All that's left is a single sheet of paper on the floor that she missed. You reach down to grab it, and Ellie's eyes widen. She shoots down to the floor to grab it before you can, but you don't miss the comically large letters titling the page.
Web Fluid Version 3.01
"Web fluid?" you let out a laugh. "Are you Spiderman or something?"
✩ I haven't been able to get loser!ellie out of my head so...here we go. I love that this is basically the same thing as canon!ellie. Slutty thoughts at the end so mdni (18+) ✩
✩ I don't think she would be the first to make a move. She would do little, very subtle things like hold the door open for you and then panic because oh no that was too much! You're going to know!
✩ She would think she's being obvious, and she is, but not for the reasons she believes. Let's just say her brushing her hand against yours is not nearly as obvious as the way she follows you around and the way your smile makes her face turn red all the way to her ears.
✩ Speaking of her following your around, she is so unintentionally clingy, even before you get together. You would get up to go to the bathroom and when she realizes where you're going, she tries to play it off like she wasn't about to trail after you. When you bring it up to her, she's genuinely confused because no, she is not following you around on purpose. She would never do that.
✩ It would take her forever to realize you're into her, but when she finally picks up on it, that confirmation gives her confidence. She wouldn't be as afraid to make her feelings more apparent.
✩ Has such terrible rizz that it somehow comes full circle and makes her even more charming.
✩ She LOVES bossy, confident women. Ellie is not afraid to ask for what she wants, and she is definitely not the type of girl that would have you ask the waitress questions for her. But there's something about a woman that could put her in her place that she loves.
✩ At first, Ellie is always rubbing the back of her neck or playing with her fingers when she talks to you. She doesn't want to look like a dork, but she can't help it because you make her so nervous.
✩ She's literally the definition of a golden retriever masc. She's got the beat-up truck (that's actually Joel’s, but you don't have to know that), an outrageous amount of flannels, and carabiners to provide it.
✩ When she gets really excited about something, her brain moves faster than her mouth. She'll fumble her words and stutter. She gets really annoyed when this happens and has to take a deep breath and start over.
✩ She loves to rant about her interests to you. Don't you dare seem like you're not listening because she'll get really quiet and upset.
✩ I could see her having issues with being treated like "the man" in past relationships. It confuses her at first because she wants to protect her partner and care for them, but she also wants to feel that same love and desire toward her. She would be so drawn to you if you don't treat her any differently because of the way she dresses or presents herself. Obviously, she presents as more masculine, but she still wants to be treated like a woman.
✩ She has sooo many playlists. There are some about you of course but she also has some that are so highly specific. When you go on your first date, she has a playlist for picking you up and two different ones for dropping your off, depending on how it went. She definitely has the classic "depressed gay longing" playlist.
✩ She has exactly two pictures on her Instagram. One is her and Joel on his birthday and the other is a selfie she uses as her profile pic for everything.
✩ When you follow her back on Instagram, she loses her shit and starts fantasizing about what it would be like to be with you. She's screenshotting every selfie you put on your story and thinking about them in ways that are not very appropriate.
✩ She's the queen of "this reminded me of you" and will bring you literal rocks because "it looks like the whale from the aquarium we saw last week." Whether it's modern!ellie buying you little trinkets or jackson!ellie bringing you things from her patrols, she loves seeing you in all parts of her life. Even if you're not physically there with her.
✩ I love the pages of her journal we get to see in the game because they show us peeks at her internal monologue. They show us she is still very much the eccentric, starry-eyed girl we see in the first game. She's learned to hide it. Maybe to fit in or maybe because she's learned that wearing your heart on your sleeve can hurt. It's literally canon that she writes about her romantic feelings in her journal, so I think she would have little drawings and blurbs about you. She for sure has a stupid grin on her freckled face as she draws the highlights of your eyes and maybe even the dip of your hips. It's the only way she can think of to get you out of her head.
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✩ She's an ass girl. She loves every part of you and will literally kiss your eyelashes if you let her, but she has to physically hold herself back when you bend over.
✩ I can't think of who posted it, but I remember reading something about Ellie fake fucking you when you're bent over and she would totally do that at the absolute worst times. You'd swat her away and look at her with a raised eyebrow, but there's no stopping her because she thinks it's the funniest thing ever.
✩ The first time you kiss is an out-of-body experience for her. She's panicking because she didn't think she'd ever get this far. She wants to touch you but she doesn't know where or what you would like, so her arms are stuck at her sides. She's 🧍until you grab her hands and move them to your waist.
✩ Has a huge obsession with your neck. Loves to leave marks if you'll let her. Will come up behind you and wrap her arms around your waist while leaving wet kisses all down your neck.
✩ I could see her wanting to be both the big and little spoon. It depends on the day and the context. When she's the big spoon she'll jokingly hug you so tight you can barely breathe and wrap all of her limbs around you like she's trying to suffocate you. When she's the little spoon, she likes it when you play with her hair.
✩ Is an absolute slut for you playing with her hair. She's an insomniac and it helps her fall asleep. When you're arm gets tired and you want to stop, she'll whine and pull your hands back to her head.
✩ She would be more comfortable topping and doesn't want to admit that she likes to bottom just as much. She's a service top that would do anything to make you feel good.
✩ Girly is so shy when she bottoms. She'll get all blushy and tries to cover her face with her hands/arms. She loves it, but it feels so foreign to her to have someone's sole focus be on her.
✩ Loves eye contact, especially when your mouth is on her. If you look up at her from between her legs while giving her head, she has trouble thinking straight.
✩ Likes it when you pull her hair during sex and will groan for you to pull harder. Just move her wherever you want her because she thinks it's the hottest thing ever.
✩ I think she'd use a strap if you wanted her to, but it's not her instinct to grab for that. She rather you come apart on her fingers or mouth.
✩ If you wanted to use a strap on her, I think she would let you, but again, it's not something she would ask for. To Ellie, It would be more about pleasing you than her.
✩ Absolutely passes tf out after sex. She always tries to stay awake, but as soon as both of you are cleaned up, she's dozing off and letting out cute little snores.
✩ In summary, Ellie is the switchiest switch to ever exist and I will be taking no criticism on this
✩ summary: Ellie puts too much on herself. You are starting to see the cracks forming and she needs you to help her let go before she shatters.
✩ cw: mdni(18+) bottom!ellie, hurt/comfort, minor angst, ellie being annoying, thigh riding, oral (ellie receiving), fingering (ellie receiving), very minor dirty talk
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
To your annoyance, Ellie needs time after her patrols before you head to her place. Your instinct is to smother her in hugs as soon as she walks back through the gates, but you've learned that she needs to be alone and decompress before facing any company.
After passing the time by clearing the snow piled on your windowsill, you decide she's been alone for long enough. You don't know what you're walking into, but if Jesse's crude words were anything to go by, you have a very distraught girlfriend on your hands.
"Walked around with a stick up her ass today. Needs to get laid or somethin'. Isn't that your job?"
You cut through Joel's backyard to get to her studio. He gives you a little wave from the kitchen window as you cross the dirt pathway. If you squint your eyes, you can see he's wearing the flannel shirt you and Ellie found for him last Christmas.
She doesn't answer when you knock, but you let yourself in. A thick layer of moisture hits you as you enter. The steam from her shower is still fogging a few of the windows.
She doesn't react as you enter, but you can tell she's looking at you from the corner of her eye. You shut the door with a gentle thud.
Ellie Williams is definitely a sight. Clad in only a sports bra and a pair of black boxers, her damp hair hangs limp and out of its usual bun. You can smell her shampoo as you get closer, sandalwood and a hint of something earthy.
By the time you sit next to her on the lopsided couch, she hasn't said a word. You cross your legs, waiting for her to speak first, but the silence stretches between you. Rolling your eyes at her stubbornness, you take her hand in yours.
"You doing okay? "
She scrubs her hands over her face, elbows resting on her knees. Her body sinks in, almost as if she was waiting for permission to release the tension.
"I'm good. Just tired."
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. Her stubbornness never ceases. Scooting closer to her, you wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into your chest. She lets out a sigh and hesitates for a moment before giving in and letting you hold her. You're not just holding her, but also the weight she can't seem to carry on her own. Heavier than her body and stronger than her resolve.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"There really is nothing to talk about. I just-I don't know. I feel..."
She stops, fiddling with your hand in hers. Her fingers run between yours, massaging the callouses that developed from years of work in Jackson. You slide your free hand up the bare skin of her back and gently massage her shoulder.
"You feel what?"
She doesn't answer right away, and you know she needs a distraction. You lean down to get a better look at her face. Her eyes are glazed over and her lower lip is jutting out slightly. You want to bite it.
You put both your hands on her shoulders and push her into a sitting position on the floor between your legs.
She turns around, quirking an eyebrow, but she quickly relaxes when she feels your nails gently digging into her scalp. Taking advantage of her loose hair, you run your fingers down from her roots, giving a gentle tug when you reach the split ends.
Her jaw unclenches as her shoulders fall from her tight posture. The tension is coming off her in waves, releasing with each movement of your fingers. Your hands speak what your words can't express.
I can bear it, Ellie. Tell me.
It's rare for her to let you touch her like this. So gentle and sweet. She has always been a giver, liking the control that came with looking after you.
She let you touch her of course, but it was never like this. You never had time to examine the intricacies that made her up. The jagged scar on her left shoulder. The constellation of freckles decorating her upper arms.
Ellie would worship your body if you let her, kneeling between your legs as if you were an altar. She would drag your hands away from her body, pinning them down, maneuvering you to her pleasure. You could never get more than a few scarce caresses in before she was redirecting you, so focused on your enjoyment she was willing to overlook her own.
It was about control for her, especially when it came to you and your pleasure. The need to feel needed overwhelmed her and showed in every action she took toward you.
As your fingers tangled in her auburn hair, you wondered if that was the issue. She took too much on, thinking she could handle it. Most of the time, she could bear it, but it was never without a cost. She strapped each burden to her back, piling them on with the others. Ellie was caving from the outside in, and you knew she needed someone to relieve her, to take that crippling weight off her shoulders.
"Ellie, what's wrong, babe? Talk to me."
She sighed, trying to lean her head into her chest, but got caught by your fingers in her hair.
"I'm sorry."
You slide your hand down the angles of her jaw and to her chin, turning her face to meet yours. She's too slow to hide the shocked expression in her eyes. But as that fades, something else replaces it when your thumb grazes the underside of her bottom lip. Desire.
Her eyes darken, and you see something new in her. Ellie's mouth parts, and you can feel her warm breath against your hand. Her tongue slips between her teeth to wet her bottom lip under your gaze.
"Don't you dare apologize. You never have to be sorry for how you're feeling. Not with me."
And just like that, the moment is over. Her eyes soften and your grip on her face loosens. She nods, turning back around.
"'Okay."
Her voice comes out raspy. Maybe from disuse or maybe from something more. She grabs your hand and brings it back to her hair.
You chuckle as you resume your movements, fingers leaving her scalp to gently trace the bare skin of her back. The sound of her gentle laughter graces your ears when she feels you drawing little hearts on her skin. Like church bells chiming on a Sunday afternoon.
When she speaks, it shatters the silence she's built between you. It's so loud it almost startles you.
"I guess I just feel like...nothing should be wrong. I have everything I've wanted, but-"
A knock at her front door cuts her off follow by muffled shouting.
"Ellie! It's Jesse!"
The pounding on her door continues, and you have never considered murder to such an extent before.
She turns to look at you, and you can feel her tense up beneath your hands. The bells aren't chiming anymore. All that's left is the clang of metal against metal.
Before she can answer, you shout, "She's busy! Get lost."
You see that look in her eyes again, her pupils so large it almost makes her green eyes look sinister. Like a snake coiling and baring its fangs. She's ready to strike.
Jesse ignores you, shouting again, "Maria wants to see you. She said it would just be a sec."
Ellie tries to speak, but her voice gets stuck behind her words. She clears her throat before replying.
"Okay. At the house? Tell her I'll be there in a few."
"Fine, but you better be in a good mood when you come out!"
The sounds of his footfalls dim as he gets further from Ellie's safe haven. She falls back against you, letting her full body weight be supported by your legs. Her hands move up to her hair, starting to pull it back with the elastic on her wrist, but you push her hands away.
"I've got it," you say, taking the elastic from her wrist and sliding it to your own.
You divide her hair into two sections, starting a braid with the whispy front pieces. When you reach the end of her short hair, you braid the remaining strands and slip the elastic on.
She reaches up to slide a tattooed wrist over your work, fingers getting caught in the sections of the braid.
"What are you doing to me?" she asks as you start on the other side.
"Braiding your hair."
You don't have to see her face to know she's wrinkling her nose
You take an extra elastic from your own wrist to secure the other side, and as soon as you finish, she's rushing to the mirror in her little bathroom.
"I look like a dork, Y/N!"
"You do not! You look so cute!"
She emerges from the bathroom, a pink blush dusting over her freckles. You stand up from the couch as she rushes over to her dresser, throwing on a green flannel and a pair of dark jeans.
To your amusement, the shirt looks almost identical to the one Joel is wearing. You take a moment to wonder if Ellie will be like Joel when she's older. Cooking in her kitchen with greying hair under the rays of the afternoon sun.
"Yes, because cute is exactly the vibe I want to give off," she deadpans, throwing in an eye roll for good measure.
"Oh, shut up. You know you love it," you say, reaching over to twirl one of the braids with your finger.
She pries herself out of your grasp and sits on the edge of her bed to put on her shoes. You follow her to the twisted mass of unmade sheets and blankets.
"Plus..." you say, moving behind her, "they are multi-purpose."
"What?" she asks, finishing up lacing her shoes.
You chuckle at her genuine confusion as you wrap your fingers around the left braid, tugging gently. Moving closer behind her, you press your body into her. You wonder if she can feel your racing heart against her back.
"Handles," you whisper into her ear.
Ellie bolts up from the bed, blushing even darker than you thought possible. You wonder if you've crossed a line, but her reactions earlier were egging you on, making you wonder how far you can take her before she just snaps.
The load on her shoulders needs to be lessened. You could take it from her. Give her a rest. Giving up hope when you see the shocked look in her eyes, you cross your legs on the bed as if you'd said something innocent.
She scratches the back of her neck, avoiding eye contact with you. The afternoon sunshine catches on her tattoo and she looks so adorable you can barely stand it. You just want to fucking devour her.
"Um, I'm gonna head to Maria and Tommy's. I don't think it'll take long."
"Do you want me to wait for you?" you question, knowing she'll say yes.
She makes her way to the door and you follow her. She's touching the braids again, and you wonder if she's thinking of what you said. You wonder if she wants it as much as you to. To let you take control for a little bit.
"If you don't mind," she says, hand on the worn doorknob.
"Yeah, I'll be here when you get back."
She grabs your waist, her grip tight against your skin. Ellie plants a quick kiss on your lips as she leaves, and you can feel the curve of her smile against your mouth. Before she's out of the door, you reach out to tug on her braid one last time.
"You're such a perv!" she shouts as she makes her way down the steps.
You wince at her loudness, hoping Joel didn't hear her.
"Only for you, babe!"
You watch her through the window as she makes her way to Maria's. She looks behind her to see if you're still watching, and when she thinks the coast is clear, she rips the elastics from her braids.
She shakes her hair with the wildness of a wet dog. Your heart skips a beat when she uses your purple elastic to pull her hair into a bun at the base of her neck. Her own black one remains on her wrist.
You roll your eyes and think of all the things you wish you could do for her. To her.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
The gentle sound of Ellie's door closing wakes you from your slumber. You didn't mean to fall asleep, but Ellie's bed was so comfortable. It was never made, but the five blankets she had provided a weight almost as comforting as Ellie herself. Shooting up from the bed, you look over to the clock on her nightstand.
3:23 am
Why the hell is she getting back so late? You rush out of bed, still wearing your jeans and T-shirt from the previous day.
"Ellie?" you call out, but she doesn't answer.
Your eyes fall to the closed bathroom door. Light is leaking through the cracks, and because of the small space, you can hear faint grunts of pain from the other side. Rather than questioning how she managed to lock herself in the bathroom so quickly, you rush to the door and throw it open.
Ellie's sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her shirt and pants discarded in a bloody pile on the floor. So much hair has fallen loose from her bun that she might as well have been wearing it down. Your eyes scan her over, trying to find the source of the blood.
There's a gash on her side. Not too bad, but deep enough that it would need stitches. A painful-looking, yellowing bruise surrounds the area of the cut near her hip.
"What the fu-"
"I didn't mean to wake you up," she says, eyes cast down.
She has a needle and string in her hand, but you can tell by looking at it that it won't be long enough.
You sink to your knees in front of her, prying the needle from her hands and letting it rest on the bathtub next to her thighs. Once again, she's in her sports bra and boxers, but this time it's not sensual. She's covered in blood, her eyes are bloodshot, and you're fucking scared.
"Ellie! That's not... fuck! Why are you back so late? You already went on patrol this morning, and Jesse said it was supposed to be quick."
"I'm sorry. I-I talked to Maria and then Clove got sick. And they needed someone to cover her-"
"Ellie," you say her name again. She's so fucking stubborn, but you're hoping you can talk some sense into her.
"I'm not gonna sit here and watch you do this to yourself."
"Well somebody has to do it!"
"You're right. Somebody does. And I know you think you can handle it and take it all. Physically you can, but it's killing you! When is the last time you even slept?"
She doesn't respond, and you'd like to think it's because she knows you're right. Her downcast eyes suggest she has no comeback or retort to leave you with.
"And why are you trying to do this yourself? The string is too short and you haven't even cleaned it all the way," you say, gesturing to the gash on her side, still dripping blood.
She still doesn't answer, auburn hair falling in her face as she tilts her head down.
"You had to have deliberately hidden this because there's no way in hell Maria or Jesse or Dina or whoever you were with would have let you go off on your own in this state."
"Are you done?" she finally says.
She meets your eyes and you're both glaring at each other.
"No, I'm not actually. There are plenty of things I want to say to you, but we can do that when you're not bleeding all over your fucking bathroom."
You reach past her, turning the faucet on. The water is freezing cold at first, and you're tempted to push her into it, but you turn the knob until it's lukewarm. Ellie grabs your wrist when you reach down to plug the drain.
"It's fine. I don't need-"
"No," you say, and to your irritation, you can feel tears fill your eyes.
"You're going to let me take care of you. I don't care what you think you can and can't handle. I don't want to hear another fucking word."
Ellie looks like she wants to say something, lips parting but then closing a few times. She shuts her mouth for the final time, stunned by the break in your voice and your watery eyes.
Reaching up to help her take off the rest of her clothes, you scan her for injuries again. She has a few cuts and bruises but nothing as bad as the gash on her side.
Ellie stands on shaky legs, gripping onto your forearm for balance, as she steps into the bath. The water almost immediately turns a murky red around her ankles.
"You know better than this, El," you scold.
She shakes her head and starts washing some of the dirt and blood off of her arms. You don't know if it's hers or someone, something else's and you feel a pang of fear in your chest.
You push your hands away and replace hers with your own. The water looks disgusting, so you reach for the drain and let the blood and sweat sink away.
Turning on the water again you grab a cloth hanging in the bath. Grabbing her chin, you tilt her head towards you and begin to gently wash her face with the cloth. She closes her eyes, leaning into your touch. The dirt, grime, and blood disappear to reveal the freckle-faced girl you're used to seeing.
From this angle, she just looks like a girl. Your girl. Not a woman who has slaughtered hundreds of infected and can bring grown men to their knees.
"You like it when I do that," you observe, your anger beginning to dissipate.
It's a simple statement, and at first, you aren't sure if she even heard you. But her eyelashes flutter, eyes moving behind closed lids. For a second, you forget that you're mad at her because she looks so pretty like this. Green eyes shut and her pink lips in a pout.
"Yeah," she says, barely a whisper.
She knows you're talking about your fingers gripping her face, turning her where you need her. And she likes it.
But when you lean down to rinse the cloth, you see the gash on her side and it comes back to you. The fear you felt. The anger you had towards her for not taking care of herself.
You release her chin and tilt her head into the stream of water to scrub her hair. She still hasn't opened her eyes, trusting you completely to support her head and prevent her from falling.
When her hair is clean, you help her rinse herself off one last time before shutting off the water. Her eyes open and she looks at you from the bath, sitting cross-legged and looking up at you like you hung the moon and stars.
It made you feel so powerful. Ellie Williams kneeled before you, offering herself bare to your touch. Waiting for you to tell her what to do next.
"Come on," you hold out your hand to help her up.
She stands in the bath on shaky legs and lets you guide her onto the floor mat. You grab her towel hanging on the back of the door and help her dry herself off.
You kneel down to look at her wound and it's mostly stopped bleeding. Now clean, it's ready for stitches. Grabbing for the needle, you stop when you see her shivering. The cool air in the bathroom sent goosebumps over her scarred skin. You help her ring her wet hair out one more time, and wrap the towel around her shoulders.
"I'm going to grab you something to wear. You're freezing."
As you begin to walk away, Ellie grabs your wrist, forcing you to bring her along with you.
"Ellie."
"What? I want to come too," she says, the hint of a smirk painting her face.
Rolling your eyes you say, "It's like six feet away, babe."
But she gives you that look again, cocking her head to the side, and you give in, leading her to her dresser.
After digging through the drawer, you produce a pair of black briefs for her and an oversized shirt that you always slept in when you stayed over. It would be easy enough to pull over her shoulder while you stitched her wound.
She drops the towel to the floor. You help her pull on the clothes, but it is more difficult than you thought it would be. She winces as you guide her arms over her head, a small bead of blood oozing from her open wound.
Ellie limps over to her couch and turns on a lamp next to it. She gingerly sits on the middle of the sofa but won't make eye contact with you.
"There's more light over here," she responds to your raised eyebrow.
The towel feels heavy in your hands as you bring it back to the bathroom. You hang it up and grab the first aid kit before returning to the small form of your girlfriend on her couch.
You kneel in front of her and start laying out the supplies on the coffee table. She watches you, those snake-green eyes following your fingers as you sterilize the needle and cut the thread.
You reach up to pull the shirt over her left shoulder, and you're face-to-face with half of her bare chest. Your brain is telling you that this is absolutely not the time to feel desire, but you can't help it. Ellie never lets you look at her like this.
That's not to say she's shy. Because she's not. She just usually doesn't let you focus on her like this. Her nipples were hard from the cold air, and you're thinking about putting your mouth on her before you remember where you are and what you're doing. You chide yourself. God, you are absolutely fucked, Y/N.
But Ellie notices. You look up from her chest to meet her eyes, and you think that maybe she's starting to get an idea of what you want. And what you know she needs.
"Are you going to tell me what happened now?" you ask to distract her as the needle sinks into her skin.
She winces, tattooed hand flying to your shoulder. Her nails dig into you as you continue. The crescent moons her nails leave on your skin are the good kind of burn.
"You're going to laugh at me. It's really stupid," she says, eyes following your hands.
"Well if it's stupid, I probably will."
She lets out a gentle laugh, leaning down to look at your progress. You are about a quarter of the way through, but you couldn't get the right placement and your hand is cramping from the awkward angle.
Trying again, you still can't get the angle right and you let out a groan of frustration. But an idea pops into your head. You stand up to sit on the couch next to her.
"C'mere," you say, guiding her to sit in your lap.
She straddles you and wow this is new.
You grab her hips to move her to the side a bit so you could get a better angle. She shifts so she's straddling your right thigh, and fuck. You can feel the heat of her — No.
No. No. No. No.
Focus.
Ellie's watching your hands as you resume the stitches, shifting against your thigh to get comfortable. She takes a sharp intake of breath, causing you to abruptly stop.
"You okay? Sorry, it's just easier to reach you this way."
"Yeah, I'm fine."
You've never heard her sound like this before. So breathy and her voice so low that you almost didn't hear her. You have to force yourself to pry your eyes away from her face and go back to the stitches.
"You never told me what you did."
She's shifting against your thigh again. You want to tell her to stop because it's so hard to focus when she does that.
"Oh," she laughs again. "I fell through the floor in this old house. Got stuck and Dina had to help me out."
"Babe. You fell through the floor?"
This has happened enough times that you feel like you need to start strapping a cushion to her backpack.
"Yes. Didn't even see any fuckin' clickers. It was supposed to be fast but the basement was so deep it took forever to get out."
"Damn, with your injuries I thought you got stuck in a hoard or something."
"Nope. Just rotted wood."
You tie off the last stitch and reach over to set the materials on the end table with the lamp. She doesn't move to get off you. Instead, you can feel her move against you again, but this time, she tries to hide it. She does it when you're moving as if you won't notice.
But that's the thing about Ellie. If you don't pay attention to her little moments and eccentric actions, you will miss a lot. She's full of hidden surprises if you look closer.
You want to say something, but you don't know if it's intentional or not so you stay quiet. Maybe she's just in pain. She's got a nasty cut and a couple of huge bruises surrounding it.
But you don't want her to move yet, so you grab her hips, being careful to avoid her cut. You're face-to-face and it occurs to you just how tired she looks. Her dark circles are such deep purple that you want to go back to the bath and grab the cloth. Maybe you could scrub them off her skin if you tried hard enough.
"You've gotta start putting yourself first. You're burnt out and exhausted."
She nods, but that's all she allows you.
"Okay," she says quietly, "I'll do it for you. I don't like it when you're worrying about me,"
"I don't want you to do it for me. I want you to do it for you. Be a little selfish for once."
She doesn't nod at this, but you feel her move her hips against you again. This time there is no mistaking that it is purposeful.
"What are you doing, El?"
"I don't know."
God, you love saying her name. You love the way it makes her pupils larger, so dark the green in her irises is barely visible. You crave the way it brings a pink flush to her cheeks. How you can send Ellie, so strong and stoic, into a rambling mess.
She's looking at your lips, and her tongue darts out to lick over her own.
"I think you do know," you say, leaning closer to her. "You just don't want to say it."
You're kissing her before she can respond, hand slipping into her hair to tug gently. She groans into your mouth, and you slip your tongue over hers. Ellie's moving her hips again, grinding down on your thigh.
She has the awkward, fumbling movements of someone that's never done this before. She knows how to guide your hips and help you find the best angle for your pleasure, but this was all new territory for her. You move your hands back to her hips to aid her movements.
Leaning back, you pull away from the kiss and she falls forward, chasing you. Her hot breath caresses your lips, and you lean your forehead against hers. She smells like the forest still. There's no amount of soap that can get the scent off her.
"That's kinda fucked, El. Getting turned on by me stitching you up," you mumble against her lips.
Her movements stop and she's immediately pulling away and trying to explain herself, her hands thrown up as if surrendering. You let out a chuckle and push your index finger against her lips to stop her.
"I'm just teasing you. I know what you want."
You help her guide the oversized shirt over her head, and your eyes greedily scan the exposed flesh. She's watching you, trying to figure out what your next move will be. You can see the cogs and wheels turning in her mind.
Her instinct is to cross her arms over her chest, but one pointed look from you stops her in her tracks. You start at her neck, leaving wet, sloppy kisses down her chest until you reach her chest.
"I want you to tell me what you want," you say between kisses.
"But you said-" she cuts herself off with a sigh as you pull her nipple into your mouth, tongue gliding over the sensitive flesh.
"I know what I said, but I want you to tell me. Prove to me that you want it like this or I'll stop."
"Babe" she groans.
"Say it," you demand, using your hands to help her grind her cunt against you again.
"I want you to take care of me."
"I gathered that."
"C'mon, Y/N. You know what I fucking want. Saw it in your eyes since this morning."
You slow your movements, wanting to see how far you can take her. She groans in protest and grips your shoulders for leverage as she grinds down harder against you.
"I want you to make me feel good," she tries.
Continuing your slowed movements, you switch to the other side, using your other hand to knead the sensitive, smooth skin. She can do better than that.
"I-I want you to make me cum."
"How? I do that all the time," you say, barely resisting the urge to chuckle at her frustration.
"However you want to. Whatever way you want me. I don't care. I just need you. Need it like this today."
She's found her own rhythm against your thigh, not needing you to guide her movements anymore.
"There you go, baby. Take what you need from me. Just like that."
You lead kisses back up her neck and behind her ear where you know she's sensitive. She's breathless against you, groaning and sighing quietly as she uses you.
"Need-need help, Y/N," she says, her movements becoming more frantic.
Your cunt throbs at her words because this is exactly what you need. You want her to want this as much as you do.
She's chasing for more but can't seem to get to it. Pulling away from her neck, you tuck her auburn hair behind her ears and take a second to admire her. Her cheeks are flushed and her brow is wet with sweat.
The wounded look in her eyes forces you to take pity on her. Your firm hands grasp her shaky ones and guide her off your lap to stand up. Reaching forward, you pull the elastic of her panties so it flicks back against her.
"Take these off."
She's so eager that she almost trips as she shucks them down her legs, forgetting about her injuries. She's completely bare in front of you, glistening cunt on display. You take a moment to watch her and the way she moves back and forth from foot to foot under your gaze.
There's a large wet spot on her briefs, and you follow Ellie's eyes down to your jeans. There's a matching spot on your pants from her grinding against you. You're so aroused you think even the slightest touch between your legs would have you cumming.
"You made a mess, El."
Before she can respond, you're dragging her back over your thigh. She lets out a breathy moan at the feeling of the damp denim dragging against her clit.
"I want you to cum like this," you say.
"I-I don't think I can."
"Yes, you can. And you will."
She opens her mouth to complain, but you quiet her rambling with a kiss.
"Didn't you say I could have you any way I want you?"
"Yes, but-"
"You can have my mouth after you finish like this," you whisper against her lips.
That shuts her up, and she's grinding against you again, much more frantic than before. From her labored breaths, you can tell she's close. She's been worked up since this morning, and you want nothing more than for her to let go against you. You don't want any thought or worry in that pretty head of hers except how she's going to cum next.
She's moving fast enough that her knee is bumping deliciously between your legs. The seam of your jeans is grinding against your clit just right. You wanted to take them off and feel her bare skin against yours, but that would mean pulling away from Ellie again. She might lose her courage in the time it takes you to get them off.
The dampness of her cunt is seeping through your jeans and onto your leg, and fuck. You wonder if this is how Ellie feels when she has you under her and at her mercy.
"F-fuck, please," she groans.
"I've got you, baby. Give it to me."
You reach up to smooth the wrinkle between her brows with the pad of your thumb. "Relax, just want you to feel good. That's all I want you worrying about right now."
Scooting forward, you plant your foot firmly against the ground. You look up to watch her reaction as you start to bounce your leg, increasing the pressure and friction against her clit.
She pulls her face forward into your neck and lets out a strangled moan, louder than you've ever heard her before. You can feel her lips moving against your skin, but you can't make out what she's saying. She's talking so fast and so low that you can only understand the tone of desperation in her voice.
"Please, please, please please-"
"C'mon, El. You're almost there. I can feel you clenching against me."
You pull her by her shoulders away from your neck so you can watch her face as she finishes. When she tries to hide against you again, you pull her back by her hips.
"Uh, uh. Wanna see your face when you cum."
You push against her hips, creating even more pressure. She clenches her eyes and you feel every muscle in her body tighten like a rubber band ready to snap.
She's panting, hands flailing around because she doesn't know what to do with them. One flies to her chest, her long fingers creating indents against her skin. The other grips your shoulder. You can tell she's holding back, letting all that she's carrying get into her head.
"Let go, Ellie. I've got you. Gonna feel so good."
A high-pitched sound leaves her mouth as she takes in a shallow breath, and you can see it as the tension snaps within her. She's grinding against you so fast the couch is shaking and you're having trouble keeping up.
You release one of her hands and grab a fistful of her hair, tugging hard as she rides out her high.
"Doing so good for me, El. Look so fucking beautiful like this."
"Yes, yes, fuck. W-wanna be good for you."
Her words surprise you. Pulling you out of your head for a moment. She usually doesn't talk much when she finishes, but in her high, she revealed something you'd always suspected.
When her high dissipates, she crawls off of your lap to lean against your side, the stimulation of your leg too much on her clit.
She's breathing heavily, eyes closed and cheek pressed against your shoulder. Her naked form against yours reminds you of your fully-clothed state. The trust that she has in you sends another pang of arousal through you.
"So fucking good," she mumbles into your side.
While she's distracted, you gently pry her off of you and sink to your knees, face level with her still-dripping cunt. She wines, hands flinging out blindly to pull you back to her.
"Not finished with you yet," you say, grabbing her thighs to drag her so she's at the very edge of the couch.
She's looking at you through half-lidded eyes, lips wet from your kisses and her constant biting. You grab her hands, shoving them between her legs and forcing her fingers to spread herself for you.
She's too fucked out to even be embarrassed as she lets you maneuver her body.
"You see, El. You were complaining but look how fucking wet you are." You drag your index finger through her slick, circling her clit with the pad of your finger.
She throws her head back, and you can tell she's suppressing a groan. You grab her chin and force her head down. Her eyes look at her sopping wet pussy and then at you, letting out a sigh when she sees the look on her face.
"I told you to look, baby."
Ellie does groan at that. She watches as your fingers move to her entrance, circling it with your middle finger. Her hands drop to her sides, but you pull them back.
"No, stay like this."
You can feel her involuntarily clenching, trying to pull your fingers when she needs you. She's so swollen from getting off on your thigh earlier, and you lean in closer as you slip your middle finger into her entrance.
She's warm around you, clenching so tight it's hard to move your finger. You lower your lips to her swollen clit, sucking gently to get her to relax.
"F-fuuuuck, Y/N. So sensitive. Don't know if I can-"
You pull back from her clit with a wet smack, gazing up at her from your eyelashes.
"I made you a promise, El, and I intend to keep it. You just lay there and look pretty. Let me take care of you."
Her fingers are still spreading herself for you, pulsing cunt on display. You take pity on her when her hands start to shake, and you guide her hands to tangle in your hair instead.
She relaxes enough for you to move your finger comfortably, and you quickly add a second. She groans at the intrusion, head flying back on the couch and her hands tightening in your hair. You keep a steady pace, not too fast or too slow.
You give her a second to adjust before returning your mouth to her cunt. She tastes so sweet you can't help but groan into her, the vibrations going straight to her clit.
Licking down to her entrance where your fingers are buried inside her, you move to her clit, flicking your tongue at the end.
"Just like that. Yes."
Her voice is whiny and so adorable you almost want to stop to drink her in again. Instead, you look up at her as you wrap your lips around her clit and move your head from side to side. The added friction sends her eyes flying shut. Her face is so red you think it would be warm to the touch. Her half-dry hair is a mess, sticking up at odd angles and in a bunch of knots at the base of her neck.
Your neglected clit is throbbing beneath your clothes, and you use the moment to slip a hand into your jeans. The angle is too awkward to slip a finger inside yourself, so you resort to rubbing tight circles around your clit. You've never been this close to finishing with such little stimulation before. Each circle of your fingers sends an almost fatal pang of arousal from your core to your lower stomach.
"I know it's a lot. Doing so good for me," you murmur against her clit.
That's what she wants to hear. What she needs to hear from you. Ellie is good. So good to you and you know she can be good for you, too.
When you crook your fingers at the spongey spot inside her, she loses it, grinding against your face and practically babbling praise.
"So good to me, babe. Feels so fucking good."
"Mhhmm. There you go, El. Let me have it."
Your face falters slightly as you move your hand in your pants faster, so close to your orgasm you can taste it. Whether she notices, you're touching yourself or not, she doesn't let on.
"F-fuck. So close, babe. Please don't stop. Please," she actually whines.
She tugs on your hair harder, forcing your face closer to your cunt as her thighs come up to rest against your ears. You let her clench around you instead of pushing her back, liking the feeling of her completely surrounding you. You would let her suffocate you like this.
That's what does it for you. Your orgasm hits you like a wave, and you rapidly rub your clit as you ride out your high. You groan against her clit, and you can feel her thighs tighten around your head from the added stimulation. Doing your best to keep up the pace of your mouth and your other hand inside her, you can feel her clench around your fingers again. The image of Ellie above you, all fucked out and blissful makes it so much more intense.
When the pleasure verges on overstimulation, you remove your wet hand from your pants to grab her thigh, nails digging into her skin. You want to leave marks. You want her to bruise for you.
You look up to see her eyes full of unshed tears, her legs shaking in pleasure. Focusing your fingers on the spot again, you suck on her clit hard, wanting to push her over the edge.
"Yes, yes, yes. Goddamn," she moans as she lets go.
You continue pumping your fingers in and out of her to help her ride out her high, accepting her release against your tongue. Her thighs part from you, and she becomes completely boneless.
You're pulled from your thoughts when Ellie's hands come up to your head to push you away.
"N-no more. Fuck. Too much, babe."
You allow her to push you away but not before leaving kisses up her thighs, tracing the contours of her body as you make your way up to her lips.
This time it's Ellie that pulls you into her lap. She winces as your knee accidentally bumps her freshly-stiched wound. You quickly move your hand to caress the torn skin.
"Shit, sorry. You okay?"
She answers with a kiss. You know that she can taste herself on your tongue. Ellie wraps her arms around you, pulling your face into the crook of her neck.
"I'm sorry if I scared you," she whispers into your hair.
You pull your face out of her neck, and this close to her, you can see the tear tracks on her face. Your fingers move to wipe the marks off her face, but she grabs your hands in hers.
"I'm sorry if I overreacted a bit."
Ellie shakes her head at that, and before you can react, she's pushing you back onto the couch, climbing on top of you. Her lips are hot and heavy against yours. The dominant energy that you're used to feeling is exuding off of her. You realize she's trying to make up for how she just acted.
"What are you doing, El?"
"You made me see fuckin' angels. I want to make you feel good now."
You want to give in, but one look at her dark circles and bruised flesh takes you back to how tired she is. After getting back early this morning, she probably hasn't slept in at least 24 hours.
"No," you say as you push your hands away. "You need to get some rest."
"But you-"
"No, Ellie."
She pouts and sits up, straddling your still denim-clad waist.
"You can return the favor in the morning, okay?" you compromise.
She nods, and as if on cue lets out a huge yawn. She reaches the floor, flailing her tattooed hand around until she finds the oversized shirt from earlier. You can see the goosebumps on her skin again as she pulls the shirt over her head.
She stands up from the couch, legs still a little unstable from exhaustion, pain, and the two orgasms you just gave her. You take her outstretched hand and let her pull you toward her bed, shedding your t-shirt and jeans as you go.
She falls asleep with her head tucked on your chest, listening to the calming beat of your heart as she relaxes. The heat of her body provides a welcome comfort from the cold and you tighten your hold around her broken form, as if your grasp could keep her together.
But you know that you can't hold her like this forever. Maybe you couldn't stop her sadness and anger from seeping through the cracks, but you were sure as hell going to try.
CAN WE SEE YOUR LEMON COOKIES!? I just made some with a lemon curd filling and they were a lot of work but soooo good. 🍋
Also your writing is so real and I love it. Hope you’re having a good day ❤️
THBAMK UUU BABY MWWWWWAH I HOPE UR HAVING A GREAT DAY AS WELL🥰🥰🥰
buuut yeah these flopped so hard LMFOAOAOA so i fucked up!! i was originally gonna make lemon curd cookies but my curd was fucked!!! i don’t think i tempered it correctly LMFAOAOA literally tasted like salmonella 😜
and i tried 2 make a yellow icing 2 go on top to compensate for my fucking curd loss but i didn’t have any yellow food coloring so i used like one drop of orange thinking that the white of the cream cheese would make it… NOT orange but i fucking failed color theory so it didn’t work LOOOOOOL
and the icing job looks like shit like who tf nutted all over my dessert 😐
