I figured it out
I know what my problem is. I miss him. This long distance relationship sucks ass because I have not been able to kiss him. I have not be able to touch him. I have not been able to have him sleep next to me. I have not been able to cuddle up next to him, play with him...after care. There has been no pushing of limits, there has been no excitement, no scenes, no munches, no ‘hey Babygirl...would you like to try this?’ I am alone in a 1300 mile relationship but to be fair, he is alone too. We have had playdates and believe me I LOVE watching him get off. I LOVE knowing I get him hard. I LOVE knowing I can do that to him, but my toys can only do so much. My orgasms are starting to become forced, if I have one at all. My Sir wants me to get off just as he does and I tell him not to worry about me or my lack of, that my pleasure comes from knowing I got him off so-to-speak.
April can not get here fast enough. I am hoping he gets here sooner. Every day I wait for the message that say ‘I am on my way”. Every day I think about what I will do when I see him, how I will react to actually having him here, in my arms, in my bed, sharing my life with him. I may actually start eating again (no worries, my friends, I am eating at least two small meals a day) part of my submission is being able to cook for him. As long as I have someone other than myself to cook for, I will eat. I spent a boring day at work daydreaming about him and when I got home, I called him via a video call and he knew I was sad. I tried to brush it off as being tired, but no, he was right. I was sad because I miss him. It’s getting harder and harder and I am getting impatient. I have to keep telling myself that February is almost over and that, maybe, if all goes right, he could be here for my birthday.
I need him. I want him. I miss him.
