#hurt.txt

[hurtkin]

hi im jay and this is @bllus's creepypasta/mh kin/system blog! jay is looking for literally anyone, especially alex and tim toby is looking for masky and hoodie (ik about the whole controversy about that please don't yell @ me) liu is looking for jeff im a minor so no-one over 20 preferably ! <3

[hurtsystem]

I’m so... idk

My girlfriend refuses to go to therapy or take any steps to get better and continuously tries to kill her self and I don’t know what to /do/

It’s...really been hurting my mental health. And I can’t just...say that? If my menta health is bad and I can’t help her right then... that’s abandoning her and if she ends up dying and I didn’t do anything then It would be /my/ fault.

She finally went to a therapist and I was so happy like! You’re taking steps to get better! I was so hopeful! But now she just refuses to go and is trying to kill herself at least a couple times a week and what the fuck do I /do/

I love her and I want to be with her but how..am I supposed to date someone who doesn’t plan on living past like. The next couple months. I won’t break up with her but it’s been like this since I met her (2-3 years ago) and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. There’s nothing I /can/ do and she’ll die and I’ll be all my fault.

[hurtsystem]

Don’t talk to me

Don’t look at me

Fucking leave me alone, I don’t want you here

[hurtsystem]

Hi I’m fucking

ANGRY

[hurtsystem]

Them: hey don’t beat yourself up for things that happened (:

Them, 2.5 seconds later: *telling me all the mistakes I’ve made in detail and reminding me of how much of a awful and terrible monster I am

BUT ITS OKAY!!! ITS FINE I DESERVW THIS I DWAERVE THIS!!!! I’m bad I’m evil I’m a monster and I deserve this they’re in the right I messed up I’m bad I’m bad I’m /bad/

[hurtkin]

DONT FUCK THE SLANDERMAN

[om-or-i]

It's not that I don't care about anyone, I just think that I, personally, am completely unlovable, I cannot fathom in my wildest dreams how anyone could care about me for anything besides their own gain.

And that's fine, I don't mind! At least they're staying with me, I have some great people in my life.

But the mere idea that anyone could actually care about me, just me, not what I could give them...

I just can't understand it.

But I wish I did, I want to understand what that feels like so fucking bad.

[om-or-i]

I will think until I feel so bad I can feel the vomit rising in my throat.

I will linger over an unsent message as my stomach tightens with it's emptiness, whether literal or metaphorical.

I will pass out with tears in my eyes as I think of my failures, my own inevitable death, how I won't be mourned, how nothing I've done will matter, but most importantly; I will think of you.

And then tomorrow, you see.

Tomorrow I will get up with a smile on my face, and continue my day until night.

Where the quietness seeps in, and I repeat this process again, and again, and again.

And again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again-

It doesn't stop.