#hurtful comments

[jinn-the-storyteller]

This is the kind of comments and reactions that really fuck with my ability to write. When I personally like where something is going and have a plan that I think will go well, and then someone speaks up about it and states that they don’t like it, it hurts. I makes me question if I really am doing good. I know not everyone is going to love what I put out, but when you say it and make a point for it to be known that you’re not enjoying it, it hurts. And this doesn’t go for just me, I can guarantee that other writers feel exactly the same. What is the point in saying that you don’t like something? Do you want the writers to feel bad? I got this notification and felt myself drain. It was like a punch to the gut. It was completely unnecessary and really sucks to get. I haven’t replied yet, obviously as it was just commented, but I don’t even know where to start? I don’t want to be rude to them, but I want to let them know how it made me feel.

But please, for the love of all that’s good, DONT LEAVE COMMENTS LIKE THESE! They’re discouraging and hurtful

[jasmine-the-fox]

Why ao3!? Why allow guests to comment if it hurts us!?

I don’t understand what the creators of ao3 were thinking when they allowed guests to comment! I mean seriously!? Sure some guests are kind enough to leave us positive comments... But SOME (aka “Lila”) leave comments that we can’t do much about!

If we report the comments were told to ignore, delete and simply set the work to users can comment only or to no comments allowed! And what does that do for us!? Some users set there works to no comments and this causes them to have no idea if there work is loved or not! While others need to continue to change settings on there comments because they don’t want guests to leave mean comments!

AO3 JUST MAKE IT SO ONLY USERS CAN COMMENT! IF PEOPLE WANT TO COMMENT THEN THEY CAN SUCK IT UP AND MAKE AN ACCOUNT AND SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES WHEN THERE COMMENT IS REPORTED!!

[marissaofunderground]

Hey Undertale fandom, if you’re going to compare every single OC that is a skeleton, fish monster, fire elemental or anthropomorphic spider to Papyrus and Sans, Undyne, Grillby or Muffet, I have one thing to say to you:

in other words what you’re doing is trash and that’s where you should put your comments comparing people’s OCs to Undertale characters.

[autism-asks]

How should I explain to my mom that I don't like comments like this: "How come you can remember everything about [special interest], but not [random subject - like math]! How about you start paying less attention to [special interest], and more on [random subject]?!! Maybe THEN you'd actually remember something important!!", and that it hurts me. But also without sounding "rude" because, *pure sarcasm incoming* how DARE I say something against a thing she said! I must be a horrible human being!!

Depending on what level of sass you think you can get away with, you could turn it around on her by saying something like “How come you can remember everything about [a thing your mom cares about], but not [your special interest]?!”  This might help highlight how caring about something affects the energy and memory you commit to it.

If you think that’s too much sass, you could try something like, “Mom, I know you say this because you care about me and you worry about my grades, but it hurts when you say things like that.  It feels like you think I’m being lazy or like you don’t understand why [special interest] is important to me.”  The important thing for avoiding conflict is to make sure she feels like you understand where she’s coming from.  To help her understand where you’re coming from, try to find a way to relate it to her experience (like the sass script above, but possibly with less sass as needed).

-Liz

[scarletxwinter]

So apparently my Instagram feed been setting off about Louis and Eleanor. Now I’m going to do a confession about these two since I need a break on Little Mix.

Okay, so from what I heard that Louis and his manager followed Eleanor once again. I know and Eleanor had a relationship before Louis had a son or went to Danielle.

Like a mature person I am, I support the girls that Louis dates or any star dates really. The only time that I didn’t really support a relationship was Harry and Kendall or Taylor swift. That was the time I didn’t really like them together.

That’s not the point, apparently fans of Louis are back to attacking Eleanor again. By that I mean bullying her on her insta page. There are reason why I don’t show pictures of the users who comment nasty stuff. It’s because exposing someone won’t do any good, and how posting something without their permission isn’t right.

Not because it’s a nice thing to do, or how badly I want to share to the world what I post. It’s only because they have their rights and no matter how much their comments is bad doesn’t mean they deserve the hate.

Anyways, in my opinion about this that Louis and Eleanor once had love. They love each other, even if you think it was for “publicity stunt” they still had each other’s back for awhile.

Their relationship was long than Zerrie’s, but they had the same amount of love as them. Since now they have broken up, it doesn’t mean you can still send hate to Eleanor just because Louis followed her back.

Ex’s can be friends guys. Just a follow back doesn’t mean they’re getting back together. No matter how much I supported Elounor, but just thinking that if they went back together. I feel like everything won’t be the same anymore.

Eleanor will probably get 10x more hate than before.

The thing I’m afraid of is their love won’t be as strong as it use to be.

I just think that I support her more if she was Louis’s friend. I mean there must be another guy out there for Eleanor to love back. El is still close with Louis family and she can still be friends with them. It’s not a crime.

I mean Zayn’s sisters and mom still follow Perrie and still like her pictures.

I just think we all should be mature and moved on from the past and stop with the hate. We all known if you guys see someone being bullied in the school corridors, you would stand up for them.

Would you?

Yes, yes you would because you’re nice and kind, but at the same time. You guys are doing the same thing on what the bully is doing. Sending hate to the person you guys don’t even now.

Yet you guys will save the person from being bullied and you probably don’t know who that person is. It can be a complete stranger and you would be able to stand up for them.

What I’m trying to say is, Eleanor deserve positivity from us rather than negativity. You don’t like her, ok whatever, go move on to your own life and stop wasting your time to send hateful comments to a person you barley know. You’re not winning anything hun. The only thing you’re doing is losing your time hating a person. You could be doing school work or hanging with friends, but decided to be drown on social media commenting nasty things to a woman.

Call my a hypocrite, but I don’t comment nasty stuff. Maybe ugly things I say to people who hates on a person, yes, but at least I’m a bit smart when it comes to social media. I don’t send hate, I don’t send negativity.

Just please stop with all this.

[justsayun]

A new therapy for couples.

I happened upon a possible remedy to an age-old problem the other day.  Now we all know couples have disagreements.  Sometimes a hurtful comment is made by one to their companion and feelings are bruised.  This weekend my wife made a negative comment about me, to my face.  (I always say if you need to make a nasty remark about me, please do it behind my back.  But no she threw it right at me. My daughter was in the car when this happened.)   I was driving at the time and I told my wife that from now on if she felt the need to say something that was not complimentary to me, I'd like her to end the statement with; "But that's why I love you".  She said:  "You got to be kidding me?"  I explained how this would make something unpleasant not seem quite so bad.  For example I mentioned about the time I made that comment about your co-workers dress at that Christmas Party  and you called me a Jerk?"  She said of course she remembered, we had a bunch of people at our table.   Well if you had tagged that comment with "But that's why I love you", I wouldn't have felt quite so bad the rest of that party.  How about that time I popped off to your relative about how I thought they had lost their mind about that family situation and you lectured me about how just because I may be right doesn't mean I can speak up?  My feelings were hurt that day on the ride home.  If you had just added "But that's why I love you" to the end of your lecture it wouldn't have been so bad.  My daughter from the back seat then chimed in with, "How about we just end the negative comment to you with "But hey, that’s why you suck."  I told her no contributions to this discussion from her.  I told my wife I thought this could be a game changer therapy for couples everywhere, not just us.  We've all heard of Couples Therapy.  Under that umbrella is Reflective Listening:  That works on the communication skills.  We have Emotion Focused Therapy, which tries to promote more positive couple interactions.  I'm calling my couples saving method THE BUT THERAPY.  After you have lambasted your significant other and are wrapping up your hurtful remarks you end with "BUT that's why I love you."  Bingo you tore into that person you care for except that comment, "but that's why I love you,"  it's a small band-aid to help the healing.  My wife hasn't totally agreed to go along with my new But Therapy.  She said she doesn't see how she's gaining anything from it.  I told her if she went along with it I wouldn't make any comments on her families Facebook posts for six months.  She said:  "Their we go, that's the trickster I married.  But that's why I love you."

[cvech]

I hate this accronym B.U.S.Y: Being Under Satan's Yoke

There was a petitioner who thought he was being clever by replying to my statement of being busy (read running groccery and house hold errands) as being under the devil's yoke. I paused as I don't normally think of being busy and helping (honoring) my parents as being under Satan's yoke. I was deeply offended and didn't say anything. He must've sensed I was offended because he quickly responded with a half-hearted God bless you or May God bless you. I ignored his attempt at an apology because if I spoke it would not be a very polite response.

It just pisses me off that a random, and I am making an educated guess from his comments, "christian" could accuse me, a fellow christian, (Roman Catholic and yes I consider it apart of Christianity), of being under Satan's yoke. The nerve of some people and this is why I do not take evangelicals or non denominational "christians" as seriously at times. Who are they to attack and slander a fellow christian?