Chat I think I’ve lived a life of survival where the only option is to drag yourself into smashing through the obstacles that I don’t really question how I feel or what I want to say.
Like the instinct is to just mash the controls on the quick time event of socially interacting. Just had someone ask about what I meant when I said something and having to think about my answer was like….ah damn this shit *is* layered.
Surgically looking at why I fucked up in the first message and seeing the answer be “because I was trying to be disarming in indirectly addressing the issue since we are not feelings ppl” and “I am concerned and willing to try to reach in the language that speaks to you but that will always make me more vulnerable to the judgement of whether this connects or not”.
