#hyper-vigilance

[lizarin]

I'm not looking forward to summer. Everyone gets more snippy and grumpy. (Meanwhile I'm expected to be pleasant and agreeable and helpful no matter what.) I was telling my sister that I got snapped at a few weeks ago for replying "sure" to a question my mom asked. I personally don't get how "sure" isn't an affirmative, but my mom finds it offensive. My sister explained that it has to do with the lack of acknowledgement of the work... which admittedly made sense and I'll try to adapt my wording and include a "thank you" or something after but I'm not going to try and adapt my word choice.... It just feels like I'm always the one adapting and never met halfway with anything.

And then my sister got grumpy with me for being worried her kid would get into my room and eat something off the floor even and choke with her there. which yeah, again, I understand. I'm probably over thinking it.

But I also don't think my sister understands the extent my hyper-independence impacts... everything. I cannot trust other people. At least, it is extremely hard to trust other people. A person is not as good of a gate as an actual physical gate... and my niece is getting fast.

Nervous system says you must be on guard at all times, and plan for all eventualities, and then if something goes wrong, figure out where it went wrong and how to counteract it.

And then when something does go wrong, accept blame (even if it's not your fault), and work to mitigate it.

more to work out in therapy when I can actually afford it I guess...

[calltoamentor]

Resentment and Hypervigilance: The Poison We Drink

What happens if you keep drinking? What if you build an entire community around consuming the poison and warning others away from it? What if you build an entire lifestyle around spreading the legacy of the poisoned well?

Resentment, much like its counterparts hatred and anger, is yet another variety of poison that we drink while expecting the subject of our scrutiny to suffer the consequences. Many participants say its for their own good, or the good of the world, or the drinker’s mental well-being. If ever resentment had an accurate symbol, I feel it would be this image. Today we speak of resentment;…

Resentment and Hypervigilance: The Poison We Drink

[roguefundagelical]

Coffee and Demons

Leave it to Fundagelicals to try to take away any pleasure in this world and label it a “call to holiness.” Back in my private Christian school days, being trained up by Fundagelicals, we had a saying, “if it’s fun, it’s against the rules.” This morning I stumbled across a website that has just gone too far. It linked coffee with demonic oppression.

The website is Tears of Joy Ministries. On…

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[alienorajt]

Alienora Standing up for Alienora

Alienora Standing up for Alienora

This is following on from the one I wrote earlier!

I have a long history of being frightened of angering or hurting others. The backstory, at this stage, is irrelevant: We all have our boiling streams of pain and fear which have carried us into the present.

What the statement above means, however, is that I am very easy to manipulate through either anger or empathy. Where some people are able to…

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[raxrax]

That feeling when

you can’t sleep because your downstairs neighbors are walking around and you can vaguely hear the footsteps and you almost fall asleep just to jerk awake in an absolute panic because you think someone is in your apartment and you realize that your hyper-vigilance and anxiety mean you probably will never be able to live alone. 

[coachirisaf]

Worry Wart Magic

      Have you ever heard of wart magic?  Even if you have, I don’t know if you have heard of worry wart magic.

If you know about the former, you might be skeptical about it. I first heard about it from, of all people, my late first husband’s father, a medical doctor, who said that wart magic worked, and was the best way to banish those pesky things.  I never figured out if he was serious or…

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[boopmcrantypants]

Man, having hyper-vigilance as a magic-user must be super awkward. Not only is every sense on hyper-alert looking for potential threats and trying to interpret every scrap of input, but you have the magical extensions of your perceptions as well.

I should probably put that in my writing somewhere.

I should probably find some writing where people have already done that...

Anybody have fic recommendations where people have already written stories with those kinds of situations--potentially without my having to pay for it?

I mean I'd like to pay for it but I have like zero money right now ~(-___-~)

?

[blackandredcarousel-blog]

Hyper-Vigilance and Me

Sometimes I feel like everyone else is dreaming and I am the only person seeing things clearly. Hyper-vigilance gives me an advantage in this life sometimes. I often find my peers unable to logically think out the consequences of even their simplest actions. If you don't clean your stove, it gets disgusting and attracts flies. If you want a towering flower, you have to plant seeds. If you hand a two year old a stick, it will hit someone or something with it, and on and on. I know every color in the room without thinking of it, I know who is coordinated and who is not. I can tell (partly because of 6 years of communication classes) how someone is feeling before they know. I'm the first one with an ashtray when your ash gets too long and the first to know who's turn it is. I can tell you when someone is lying, flirting, nervous, scared, or cold. I can remember every person in the room's name and I can tell you how they feel towards the person they come with. I forget that other people don't comprehend or notice these things and then I get irate when others don't treat me with amount of attentiveness I am capable of at all times. That isn't fair.