And because I read a nice line from a manga...
..I've decided to write randomly again. Yay.
The words echoed inside my head repeatedly.
The sour taste of lemon and lime lingered on my tongue as I pressed my lips together. I just can't say it, I thought to myself. There's a voice inside me screaming and yet I couldn't seem to find the right words to articulate what I wanted to say.
"So, can I leave now? I have to go catch the last train..." He said nervously, short fingers twirling around each other as he looked at me with chocolate eyes.
"Y...yeah. Thanks for today as usual." I mumbled, trying not to let the disappointment escape from my voice.
Standing there as he walked away, I mentally cursed myself for being such a coward.
Watching as his back got smaller while he ran, I could only think of how fragile he seemed to be. How breakable he was. Midnight hair and sleepy eyes which resembled that of a child's made him seem even more like an expensive glass figurine in fragility.
"I wish I could say things more directly..." I felt as if someone had dislocated my internal organs with the way my chest seemed to pound and nauseousness I was experiencing.
I'm sorry I can't tell you.
I started walking away as he evening wind seemed to get even colder. After a while, icy drops of rain fell.
A familiar voice yelling my name made me turn around. The raindrops had gotten heavier, such that it was hard to see who it was but I knew. Holding an umbrella, he ran towards my direction.
There he was, panting. It seemed like he ran back because he perhaps forgot to say something.
"I'll take you where you live instead. I can't have you walk around in the rain." He said as he stepped closer and tried to hold the umbrella up. I bent down to make things easier for him.
"No need to, I can manage really." I told him as a smile escaped my lips. This was what I loved about him the most...he always cared.
"No, really you might get sick or something..." Looking at me with worried eyes, he insisted.
With the heavy feeling earlier suddenly gone, I smiled again lightheartedly. Not being able to hold myself back, I reached for his shoulder and pulled him into an embrace. I couldn't say anything again.
More unsaid words echoed in my mind.
As I held him tighter into my arms, I felt how small he seemed to be. However, as fragile as he was I felt like he could easily break me whenever he wanted to; not like he would actually do so.
I finally let go and looked at him, smiling again like an idiot.
His worried face hadn't changed.
"Really, I'll be fine. Idiots don't get sick." I chuckled a bit. I really did feel like one though, for not being able to say the words that I wanted to say for so long.
Here I was, given the perfect opportunity to say them and yet...
"You should really go catch that train now, you know..." I added. I looked at him and his shirt was a bit wet. Suddenly remembering that I was soaked, I tried to apologize which made him laugh a bit before we said our second exchange of goodbyes and parted ways.
I made a selfish wish as I ran home. Eventually the rain came to a halt and the once cloudy sky was filled with night stars.
I guess trying to say what I felt was the same as trying to keep all the stars in a bottle.