Mar 1, 2024
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Wanna talk about Chris Thorndyke? Let’s mother fff*cking y’all about Chris Thorndyke
You opened this can of worms now dRINK IT
You see this boy? This itty bitty boy who’s face looks like a comfortable place for my fist?
Chris is a character from the “Anime” SonicX and I hAte his fukcing guts. Now you might be reading this and going, bubble what the fuck? You hate this itty bitty foot scrub? But he looks like a rat, I love rats!? Why do you draw yourself with his hairstyle if you hate him so much??? (First of all stfu!! I can’t believe I hurt my own feelings, damn)
LiSten
Not only does that boy have not one, not tHREE but five adult figures in his life that love and care for him! Now if that isn’t the biggest bULLSHIT YOU EVER SEEN
HIS PARENTS AINT EVEN DIVORCED, LOOK AT HIM AND HIS PARENTS
And on top of the parents he has a butler who teaches him martial arts, a cool tech wiz grandfather, a famous uncle and a maid!
My guy has he audacity to feel lonely when he always has company around who loves him, meanwhile I got left alone in a room for hours with only a couch and PBSKids for entertainment but oh sure, you don’t have enough friends, you’re lonely.
That’s mad disrespectful to your friends Frances, Danny and Helen :/
My second reason is that Chris really has no personal problems, no outstanding character arks and nothing interesting going on. He’s got the emotional depth of flour.
Chris is rich so they could’ve had something revolving him being a pretentious snob or him being entitled but they don’t. I’m a sucker for the “asshole turned into nicer asshole” trope but they didn’t even do that.
The most development he gets is how he overcame his creepy possessiveness over Sonic in the Episode 50 ark.
In this episode, the Earth fucked around and merged two dimensions which was terrible for its sense of time. Now all Mobians have to return to their dimension or they gonna fuck around and stop time forever.
Instead of letting Sonic leave and saving their worlds, Chris takes Sonics hand and books it, he said “fuck y’all and the linear flow time”
Chris has a habit of being selfish and only caring for his own wants and needs; which would be a good ark for him but not in the middle of a global crisis.
Chris is so bland he diDNT EVEN PASS THE SEXY LAMP TEST!
It’s funny to me that they stole a bunch of deep, emotional and impactful moments from good characters and gave them to Chris. They really just sprinkled him into scenes he had no business being in.
My favorite example of this is the scene with Amy and Shadow on the ARK
In the game Amy talks to Shadow, asking for his help and telling him that there is still good in this world even if people are bad sometimes. Her words help him remember the forgotten promise he made to his best friend, you know the story and it’s sweet.
In the show Shadow just beats the shit out of Chris for 3 minutes cause he can’t keep his hands to himself for five seconds (did I mention how creepy Chris can be?)
The only reason Shadow begins to reflect on his past actions is because he took one look at Chris, bruises and beaten and it triggered his traumatic memories to come back. I’m not even joking look at this shit.
As someone who suffers from PTSD, I hate this, I hate Chris. Look at this!!
You broke him even further is what you did. Look at him now he has anxiety, good job!
It wasn’t even necessary to touch Shadow to get your point across. You can even hear the panic in Shadows voice when Chris lays his hands on him (which is a symptom of PTSD)
So not only was he an unnecessary insert Chris into this plot line but he was wORST AT IT. THE BLUEPRINTS WERE THERE HOW DID YOU MESS IT UP?!
My third point is very neatly summed up in comment by redditor /sunstart2y
Chris is a fucking useless addition, an annoying fly on the wall at best and a probably a self insert from one of the writers shitty middle school Fanfiction.
Helen should’ve been the main protagonists, you can’t change my mind
Why have I walked into a hangout about tiny clones throwing boiling milk?
when i saw hidden figures with my mom, the trailer for gifted came on right before it and i gasped and i tapped her arm as if she wasn’t looking at the exact same big ass screen and said “it’s chriiiisss” and my mom turned to me and said “do you wanna go see that?” and i tried to tone it down and be like “i guess” AS IF i didn’t just fuckin nut right next to her
my character ranking made ppl on tiktok think i was new to the series even though im literally not 💞
probably the best moment in my career...
thank god all my teachers don’t feel like i do well enough to be nominated in any awards bc my advisor doesn’t do shit... the same three people always get nominated because their advisors care