Sorry for my poor English. I tried using translator to express my idea, and my wording might be a little bit messy, I felt sorry if it makes you feel confused 人(_ _*).
I redraw some sketch from my high-school(around 2014-2015). Looking at my old sketch, I thought they look really weird. But nowadays, I can't dream up ship interactions like I used to in high school, which makes me feel sad.⩌ ᯅ ⩌
Here are my redraws, I try to keep my high-school style and pose to redraw my ship ,but I changed both for the third one because I feel the original sketch was too weird(´ཀ`)...So I change it (And I found my new sketches are still weird!...I hope you will like it(；´Д｀)).
And here is my old sketch……[crawling on the ceiling]
⚠️ [TW: Fandom Toxicity / Personal Vent / Disappointed with Falcom and the main character]
The text below contains personal venting and negative feelings regarding my past experiences in the local fandom, as well as my extreme disappointment with Falcom and the hero. If you dislike negative rants or are a loyal fan of the official post-game content, PLEASE DO NOT CLICK AND SKIP THIS POST.
This is an emotional venting post from a long-time traumatized fan. I've been holding this pain in for a long time, and I really just need to let it out in a safe space. It might sound a bit messy, but thank you for listening to my story.
The toxicity in my local fandom completely ruined the whole series for me. Back then, it wasn't just the pure misogyny. Many male players treated Alisa like "property". I remember when I finished CS2, I wanted to find anyone who could get my ship, so I searched it, only to find people making disgusting jokes about her "betraying" the player just because she interacted with Gaius. Others dragged her down just to praise their own favorites, or even claimed Crow should have been the heroine. They turned Alisa into a joke or a villain just to serve their own ships. When CS3 came out, they mocked her for being "replaced".
(Of course, the reason why my girl always got those malicious comments is all because of Falcom! I extremely hate that they forced her into the "canon love interest" role, but didn't even care about her deep insecurities rooted in her childhood loneliness (with her family being absent) and the betrayals she faced later on. I think because of all this, she longs for a truly complete and stable home. I feel like no one would choose a guy who is always overly gentle to every other girl, especially someone with her background. I don't want to see her constantly worrying if her boyfriend might "accidentally" get too close to another girl, while she still has to run her business. She needs a guy who can bring her safety and loyalty—I mean, Gaius is truly her best match, period. And the worst thing is they gave Gaius an NPC mate just to keep the hero's harem "pure." That just makes Falcom and those harem fans who treat female characters like property look like a total joke in my opinion)
（About Gaius？ Oh, I'm so sorry that fewer people talk about him in my local fandom. He is just like a windy man who leaves zero impression in those players' eyes. But he definitely gave me a strong impression. I have a lot of character interpretations and headcanons I want to share, but we can discuss them in the future ( ᷇ᢦ ᷆ )）
As an introverted artist, I didn't know how to fight back. It completely ruined the game and the main character for me. Back then, I just wanted to find someone who secretly loved Gaius x Alisa, but I was only met with waves of malice. I even bought the Japanese version of CS3 right when it was released because I didn't want to wait for the translation for so long, but when I finally started playing it, I found that whenever I looked at the game title or the characters, my hands would start shaking, my heart would race, and my throat would get so tight that I could hardly breathe (and honestly, I still struggle with these symptoms today). I couldn't even finish the game and had to drop it halfway through. Yet, in a weirdly self-destructive way, I still forced myself to follow the stories of the later games by constantly refreshing live-text commentaries across different sites just to see what happened to them. After all that, I ended up staying away from the fandom for nearly 8 years just to protect myself from the sadness.
But now, I've finally gathered the courage to share my art and my ideas for them(just a tiny bit of courage, honestly). Even though no one has responded yet, I came here hoping to see if anyone in the international fandom still shares the love for my ship.
