HIIIIII :3
I'm Xav! it/its but they/them is fine.
Currently into and interacting with: Death Note, Hannibal, Arcane
Other interests that may come up: Creepypasta, Mouthwashing
What I do: Reblog, Draw, Write, Yap and general shitposting
RAAAAHHH october is finally here!!! which means i can feel so very timely and seasonal bringing my preview for @bsdhalloweenzine !!
(it is not skk for a change... hehe)
the zine will release ON HALLOWEEN to download for FREE so pls check it out!!!!!
I am honestly in disbelief to be part of the same project as so many amazing talented people in this fandom whom i admire.... wah 🥺🥺🥺 so very thankful for the opportunity and excited for the release day!!! 🎃🧙♀️🪄
a show of boldness, swagger. bravado is evinced when one is self-confident with a feeling of boastfulness.
false bravado
noun
a pretense of courage and self-confidence, a simulation.
Read on AO3
Sequel to hollow. Can be read as a stand-alone.
[CW: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Character Death]
That Bakugou is a weird one.
On the first day of school, most of the class think they have the guy pegged.
Loud. Angry. Spoilt. Rude. Arrogant. Dangerous.
He’s always yelling. Always glaring. Always showing off his flashy, fiery quirk. Always fighting, if the attitude and the bruising are any indication.
They miss the way his bruises don’t reach his knuckles, though they wrap his wrists. They miss the way he winces at the threat of expulsion. They miss the dark, dark bags beneath his eyes. They miss the way he spends most of his time stuck in his own head.
(Why would they look? He’s just a violent, angry delinquent.)
(Why would they care? They don’t know him. He hasn’t given them any reason to want to.)
/-/
Bakugou is a lot less scary to the class by the end of the first week. As it turns out, he’s oddly stiff, almost respectful, around teachers. His bark is worse than his bite.
He still sticks to himself, though.
Even when All Might tries to talk to him.
How strange, that he’d shrug off an opportunity for a one-on-one with the number one hero? How strange, that he is so restrained and controlled around him?
(How strange, that they speak to each other almost as if they’ve met before.)
Ha, his classmates think, is he secretly a fanboy after all?
Bit by bit, the class learns more about one another. Some more than others, of course; it’s natural for some teenagers to be more open than others.
In the end, they’d all like to be friends.
/-/
Bakugou sticks to himself. He stands out, but not that much. Sits by himself, doesn’t disturb classes with his yelling.
That changes with the Sports Festival.
Having placed first in the entrance exams, Bakugou gets to make the first year’s opening speech.
He swaggers up to the stage. The class thinks, first, he’s going to say something inflammatory. They think, next, at least he isn’t covered in bruises at the moment. That would be bad rep for the class.
Bakugou holds himself strangely. He looks proud, looks confident, yet there’s a fissure in the pose, a fault line running through him as he stands before the world.
“I vow to be number one,” he declares, hands deep in his pockets.
There’s an uproar of outrage and disbelief from the crowd.
Bakugou waits for it to die down before he speaks again, ignoring Midnight’s frustrated attempts to usher him off the stage.
“If you wanna prove me wrong, you’d better not half ass this.” A pause. “Plus Ultra,” he says, fist in the air. His voice has a strained quality, like a chord strung too tight.
It is, strangely, inspiring.
/-/
Bakugou goes fucking nuclear against Todoroki, just barely winning in the end. Todoroki’s mythic flame quirk makes a brief appearance, but not for long. It was all over quite quickly after that.
Bakugou is muzzled and strapped down to the first place podium when he receives his award. He’s screaming.
He’s quite like a rabid animal.
It’s embarrassing for class 1A. That’s their representative, the best they have. Pitiful, right?
But once everyone is on the podium and All Might stands before them, something in him changes.
All Might says something to Bakugou, like he did with the other winners.
Bakugou goes still, screams silenced.
Some notice that he does not meet All Might’s eyes as the medal is looped over his limply lowered head.
Some of those who notice put some pieces together, and wonder if Bakugou doesn’t like the number one hero.
/-/
Bakugou doesn’t get as many internship offers as Todoroki, but it’s a close call.
Isn’t it amazing, what heroes will look past when they see talent and a flashy quirk?
Both boys come to class after the weekend bearing brand new bruises.
How typical of Bakugou. He must’ve picked another fight with Todoroki to settle the score.
/-/
“Young Bakugou, may I have a moment of your time?” All Might asks, sticking his head into the 1A classroom at the beginning of lunch.
Bakugou turns his glare in the hero’s direction. “No.”
(Weird. So weird.)
(Is he in trouble? Did he do something bad during his internship with Best Jeanist?)
All Might enters the room and approaches his desk. Bakugou swears.
“I do apologise for badgering you, my boy. I only wished to ask about- Midoriya, wasn’t it? Your friend from the sludge incident?”
Several things happen.
Many students finally realise that Bakugou was involved in The Sludge Incident.
Some students realise this means Bakugou has met (and been saved by) All Might before.
Fewer still put two and two together to get four. This ‘Midoriya’, the one who is supposedly Bakugou’s friend, was the other kid on the scene that day.
What Bakugou thinks is unknown. It’s almost as if his mind disappears from his body, a lax doll standing in his place.
It takes only moments of tense silence for him to reanimate. “Fuck off,” Bakugou says, in the quietest voice anyone’s ever heard from him.
Gasps sound throughout the room. No one’s ever heard something like that directed at All Might. Not even from the likes of Bakugou.
All Might himself is just as shocked. “I’m sorry?”
When no response comes from Bakugou and he tries to walk past, Aizawa speaks up.
“Bakugou, stay here. That’s no way to speak to your teacher.”
Bakugou makes for the door. “Leave me alone.”
“Bakugou!” Aizawa calls, as All Might places a large hand on Bakugou’s shoulder.
Bakugou turns back to All Might, quick as a whip, and lashes out with an explosion. “Let me go!”
Silence, and Bakugou makes for the door again, running now.
“Bakugou, do not leave this room,” Aizawa commands. “This is grounds for severe disciplinary action.”
(That’s code for suspension and/or expulsion. It’s the first time Aizawa has ever censored the word.)
No one knows how to process the scene before them.
Bakugou stops. He half turns to face the teachers. None of the students can make out his expression.
All Might speaks again before Aizawa can decide how the fuck he’s supposed to respond to all of this.
“I apologise Bakugou,” All Might bows. “I didn’t intend to upset you. I was only curious about-”
“My friend? Yeah. I know.” He almost seems to quiver and squirm under the class’s attention. “But he’s fucking dead, so. Can I be excused, now, Aizawa-sensei?”
(Stop.)
Everyone is shocked to stillness.
…
All life in the room is unceremoniously suffocated.
(Play.)
That is not what anyone expected from the vicious, violent boy causing a scene.
It is now the class recognises the shaking of Bakugou’s shoulders and voice.
(Vulnerability; teenagers hone in on it like sharks to blood.)
(Little do they know, Bakugou is rather familiar with this phenomenon.)
Aizawa composes a brief lapse in his controlled expression and speaks. “You’re excused, Bakugou. We’ll talk about this after class.”
/-/
Bakugou disappears during lunch. The class flocks to the only people he seems to talk to; Kirishima and Todoroki.
Kirishima can answer nothing; he’s not that close to the guy, he claims. He was as surprised as everyone else.
Todoroki knows nothing. He doesn’t tell them the many suspicions he holds.
Thus, there is nothing the class can offer Aizawa-sensei when he asks after Bakugou’s behaviour and wellbeing.
/-/
Bakugou isn’t at school the next day.
When he returns, his sour demeanour and harsh glares ward off the curiosity and concern his classmates turn on him, like nosey spectators to a private display.
It settles. Presumably, he’s punished for- what he did.
And some of them even move on.
/-/
Some things change, and some things do not.
Bakugou is still rude, still avoids everyone. Some of the class still think they have him pegged.
But some look. Some watch. Some notice.
He doesn’t look at All Might anymore.
He doesn’t let himself get caught in a room alone with a teacher.
He never mentions middle school. He doesn’t want to talk about it.
He has bruises that don’t come from fights he never gets in, and don’t come from training.
He has dark, dark bags beneath his eyes. Pale, pale skin.
(The bruises stand out beautifully against it.)
He’s quiet, in a way no one ever notices. He is noticeably unnoticeable, lapsing into silence under the cover of his boisterous class.
For most, these puzzle pieces do not fit together. Few children Bakugou’s age have the experience or knowledge to begin to understand the story his pieces tell.
Those who do… Well, they’re children. It isn’t their responsibility to handle it. They have no duty of care towards their peers.
All Might, for his part, knew a few important details. He has resources. He puts some of it together. But what to do with what he finds?
For now, nothing can change.
/-/
What can not be simply seen is the weight that Katsuki carries.
