can i be honest and say that i find the fact that ao3 has a widely used tag called ‘soukoku’s unconventional mating rituals’ the funniest fucking thing in the universe. all bsd authors got together and were just like ‘shit man we don’t fuckin’ know what these guys are doing either, we just know they’re gonna fuck at some point and in some way, this apparently gets ‘em there.’ and left it at that.
wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon
*hitting my brain with a rolled up newspaper* I am allowed to be annoying! I am allowed to be wrong! I am allowed to take up space! Not! Everyone! Has! To! Like! Me!
life is so absolutely peak rn i ordered from my favourite onigiri shop and they gave me an extra one free. im sat here watching witch hat atelier new episode and just got the notif that I won 2 mercari auctions for the dazai lottery plush
I couldn't decide what to do for this so I span the wheel of skk and landed on my cat hybrid dazai au!
it wound up longer than drabble length (are we surprised......) but I really liked the idea I thought of and it ran away with me,,,
anyway yeah here - catzai x "constant!"
"constant”
“You know you're not actually a housecat, right?” Chuuya tells Dazai dryly. “You're a human-housecat hybrid. You're nearly six feet tall and you have opposable thumbs.”
“Mrrah?” Dazi retorts. And?
“You're perfectly fuckin' capable of getting your own damn food. You don't need to yowl at me from the other room.”
Dazai blinks at him. Once, twice.
Wordlessly, he turns, opens the kitchen cupboard, and takes out a can of tuna.
He holds it out in front of him, as though he wants to hand it to Chuuya. Chuuya does not take it.
“Now I know I've shown you how to use a can opener,” Chuuya grumbles.
The cat gestures again with the can. Take it, take it.
“What,” Chuuya deadpans. “Use your words.”
Dazai just stares back. His vocal cords have been healing well, these days, and he knows enough sign language to communicate. He has to be staying silent just to be difficult on purpose - which, actually, is pretty on brand for him.
Chuuya looks at him, into the depths of his yellow feline eyes. He used to find those eyes unsettling, but he's wholly used to Dazai, now, and all of his weirdness.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's capable of psychically communicating with the guy, though.
Chuuya takes the can of tuna. “What is it?” he asks again, although he doesn't really expect an answer. Why would Dazai meow at him from the kitchen as though he's totally incapable of feeding himself? What about his housecat traits makes him want to— what? Insist on Chuuya's presence? His servitude? Chuuya really has spoiled this ridiculous creature.
His eyes slide to the kitchen clock. 7 p.m. - more or less dinnertime.
“You wanna eat together?” Chuuya guesses.
“Mrrahh!” Of course I do! Chuuya's so stupid.
“Alright, crazy cat,” Chuuya grouches, “I'll make us both a tuna salad, and we can sit together and eat, how about that?”
“Mrrow.”
“Yeah, yeah. Put those useful human hands of yours to work and get out the chopping board, would ya?”
Dazai twitches his ears sulkily, but complies.
“When you wanna eat together,” Chuuya says, plonking the can of tuna down on the countertop so that his hands are free, “Just fuckin' tell me.”
Forefingers extended, he brings both hands to meet in front of him. Together. One hand palm up, he raises the other to his mouth, index and middle fingers out, like chopsticks. Eat.
“Good,” Chuuya says. He knows Dazai knows the signs already, but he also knows his cat appreciates praise for a job well done. Knows it's hard for Dazai to be honest, to be vulnerable, about wanting something that might not be guaranteed. “Next time come to me and do that, instead of the constant meowing. Hurts my fuckin’ ears, y'know?”
Dazai smacks him with his tail. He's half turned away, facing the countertop, but Chuuya sees him tap his pinky finger to his chin all the same.
personal announcement: I'm changing my first person prounoun (or im gonna try to!!!!)
its about time i got around to it 😭 but i gotta break 16 years of habit so if you catch me using 私 instead of 僕 for myself please gently smack me with a stick thank u
I couldn't decide what to do for this so I span the wheel of skk and landed on my cat hybrid dazai au!
it wound up longer than drabble length (are we surprised......) but I really liked the idea I thought of and it ran away with me,,,
anyway yeah here - catzai x "constant!"
"constant”
“You know you're not actually a housecat, right?” Chuuya tells Dazai dryly. “You're a human-housecat hybrid. You're nearly six feet tall and you have opposable thumbs.”
“Mrrah?” Dazi retorts. And?
“You're perfectly fuckin' capable of getting your own damn food. You don't need to yowl at me from the other room.”
Dazai blinks at him. Once, twice.
Wordlessly, he turns, opens the kitchen cupboard, and takes out a can of tuna.
He holds it out in front of him, as though he wants to hand it to Chuuya. Chuuya does not take it.
“Now I know I've shown you how to use a can opener,” Chuuya grumbles.
The cat gestures again with the can. Take it, take it.
“What,” Chuuya deadpans. “Use your words.”
Dazai just stares back. His vocal cords have been healing well, these days, and he knows enough sign language to communicate. He has to be staying silent just to be difficult on purpose - which, actually, is pretty on brand for him.
Chuuya looks at him, into the depths of his yellow feline eyes. He used to find those eyes unsettling, but he's wholly used to Dazai, now, and all of his weirdness.
That doesn't necessarily mean he's capable of psychically communicating with the guy, though.
Chuuya takes the can of tuna. “What is it?” he asks again, although he doesn't really expect an answer. Why would Dazai meow at him from the kitchen as though he's totally incapable of feeding himself? What about his housecat traits makes him want to— what? Insist on Chuuya's presence? His servitude? Chuuya really has spoiled this ridiculous creature.
His eyes slide to the kitchen clock. 7 p.m. - more or less dinnertime.
“You wanna eat together?” Chuuya guesses.
“Mrrahh!” Of course I do! Chuuya's so stupid.
“Alright, crazy cat,” Chuuya grouches, “I'll make us both a tuna salad, and we can sit together and eat, how about that?”
“Mrrow.”
“Yeah, yeah. Put those useful human hands of yours to work and get out the chopping board, would ya?”
Dazai twitches his ears sulkily, but complies.
“When you wanna eat together,” Chuuya says, plonking the can of tuna down on the countertop so that his hands are free, “Just fuckin' tell me.”
Forefingers extended, he brings both hands to meet in front of him. Together. One hand palm up, he raises the other to his mouth, index and middle fingers out, like chopsticks. Eat.
“Good,” Chuuya says. He knows Dazai knows the signs already, but he also knows his cat appreciates praise for a job well done. Knows it's hard for Dazai to be honest, to be vulnerable, about wanting something that might not be guaranteed. “Next time come to me and do that, instead of the constant meowing. Hurts my fuckin’ ears, y'know?”
Dazai smacks him with his tail. He's half turned away, facing the countertop, but Chuuya sees him tap his pinky finger to his chin all the same.
ask and ye shall receive:
When I write in Japanese I usually also throw it in google translate to double check that I'm not using the wrong kanji by mistake, and two years ago it gave me very dry and literal translations.
I was doing it today and noticed it had a pretty strong voice added to the output
For reference, to give a dry translation I would put:
Lately I'm into in Hanafuda. Nobody seems to know anything about it here, so they probably wouldn't understand my brilliant jokes. I guess you guys will never be able to understand "Mister November and the Scary Cave".
I have a fluent friend who is able to check my work for me and give me tips on hitting the correct tone (I was going for a comically casual feeling), so I'm confident that I'm expressing the feeling I'm intending. While Google is also hitting the same emotion, I really don't like knowing that it's assigning tone in the first place.
To check if it was editorializing based on informal grammatical choices, I formal'd up the writing to be more polite and remove any non-standard vocabulary.
I'm just like... what is anyone who is translating what I'm thinking into their own language going to think when a translation app decides that it knows my intended tone? When online communication is already so complicated and nuanced? I'm a non-native so I'm spending ages agonizing over 117 characters, but when I'm chatting in English I'm not being so deliberate. How likely is it that tools that 'naturalize' are going to make choices that don't reflect reality and lead to insulting misunderstandings?
I spoke with an English learner just yesterday who thought they were being bullied (they were not, the commenter in question was just excitedly infodumping about sociology) because something was lost in translation, and I wonder if it's because of tools making choices like this.
I'm just a luddite I don't trust stuff like this. stinks of ai asking me if it can rerwrite my email in a more quirky style.
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
