#i write crack

[monstermince]

Title: Handle with care (John/Ianto, Jack/John/Ianto, Jack/Hand)

Summary: John has had enough of Jack/Hand.

Rating: Explicit 

Content warnings: Sexually explicit content

For the Torchwood Fan Fests’ Rarepair fest and Torchwood Rarepair Royale bracket <3

[x0000000dez]

Excited to work of my crack-sterpiece, my crack-num opus, if you will.

[x0000000dez]

The crack fic flows within me, the crack fic takes itself seriously. The crack fic is deadly serious.

[fbxsamuel-blog]

¶ + mirrors

SEND ME ‘¶ + A SUBJECT’ AND I’LL POST A HEADCANON FOR MY CHARACTER ABOUT THAT TOPIC | Status: Open

In schools throughout the globe, there is something known as “The Movie” that hits 5th and 6th graders towards the end of the year. Groups of children with uneven growth spurts crowd around a roll-in TV usually reserved for BIll Nye the Science Guy (Bill! Bill! Bill!). Only, there is no fun to be had. Only hell.

They spend the next 62 minutes of their lives learning that puberty is about to hit them like a train wreck. 

Seemingly over a single summer, that same group of children return to school with equally horrified faces. There’s always that one boy whose voice dropped to the ocean floor, but claimed it was a year long cold. There’s always that one girl in the locker room bathroom, squealing in squeamishness as two other girls explain how to use a tampon for the first time. There’s always the kid who forgets to shave one leg, one who tried cleaning a disposable razor with their fingernail, the one who doesn’t wear deodorant, the girl whose face turned orange from mom’s foundation, and that one boy who ran down the halls like he was Naruto or some shit. 

 Then there’s the feat of walking through a gang of boys who have Axe cologne pouring out of every damn pore and orifice. The list goes on and on.

During this time, Samuel is calm. 

Honestly, he expects to become a hairy chimera by the end of 12th grade. These kids were squealing and panicking over nothing. He would look in the mirror and feel great about himself and appearance. 

Forget the kids fighting off acne with Stridex pads and Clean&Clear!

He had fucking horns! And he was supposed to be afraid of puberty? It’s the only time in his life where he felt everyone examining themselves in the mirror with the self-consciousness that he felt daily. His middle school days made the mirror his best friend.

Of course, then high school came and fucked it all up.

But hey, for 3-4 years he’d wink at his reflection.

[illegaile]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Brocedes Romeo and Juliet AU. Written like script and basically it’s all crack. Based on the actual Play.

[ohmytheon]

i'm going to start seriously plotting my walking dead/modern au asoiaf crossover.

the main characters are probably going to be daryl (LOL DUH) and arya because why not. gendry won't like him but daryl can fit in with the BWB. but i kind of want daryl and theon to interact because THINK OF THEIR CONVERSATIONS. and like rick and stannis can be friends. you know they'd get along. but selsye and mel wouldn't like lori SOOO awkward. carl and shireen will play and carl will have sad feels about sophia.

shane is going to be alive because fuck it. he'll interact with jon so they can both be moody about how they can't be with the women they love and honor and shit and like davos will give him lessons on following rick better and shane will be all STFU old man. arya will adore the hell out of michonne and be in awe of her sword skill. and like michonne and brienne can team up. glenn is going to be stuck with jaime IDEK why he just is. jaime will save him or something and then they can be like wise cracking buddies together. lori and cersei can hang out. :3 andrea and asha are going to be frans. and jon will start having feels for andrea BECAUSE I SAID SO.

all of this is speculative so far. i haven't actually plotted anything. xP

[kakkollumination]

you-are-now-entering-mordor replied to your post: I find it kind of funny that most of my fic ideas...

That is hilarious (the valley girl). I think that is really unique. Most people don’t pay attention to tone in fiction.

Tone is pretty much one of my favorite things to pay attention to, since more often than not it can actually dictates whether or not a piece can be read as "serious" or "crack". I've written a shmooton of fics that can't be considered as anything other than "crack", and yet I've had some pieces that were interpreted as Srs Bsnss because of the way it read, rather than the content. Or fluff--a lot of my crack has been interpreted as fluff. Which baffles me, because...totally not fluffy. Or a few crack pieces that all crack was ignored because of the pwop. 

I just like experimenting, apparently (like that one time where I wrote about a person's brain breaking because of an inter-accessories lovechild)

in other news, PWOP is my personalized way of saying "porn without plot", because I grew up associating without with the abbreviation w/o. 

I give no shits that it bears a close similarity to QWOP