(nyt)
No. I'm fine, really. I'm just ugly crying about Carroll crater. A bright spot on the far side of the moon. I'm fine. I'll stop crying eventually.
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(nyt)
No. I'm fine, really. I'm just ugly crying about Carroll crater. A bright spot on the far side of the moon. I'm fine. I'll stop crying eventually.
neeed
Got you
Thunderbolts* (2025): "I'm fine."
I'm sure that I'm far from the the first person to notice that this line in Wintersmith (2006) was published just a year before Pratchett's 2007 announcement of his posterior cortical atrophy diagnosis.
Out of nowhere, Roland, a boy who in this book also happened to acquire specific additional traits like glasses and a love of books, suddenly has a deep, angry hatred of anything which takes memories.
The above line hit me like a damn train, and then I skipped back and reread the sequence as Roland and the Feegles arrived and realised that the Underworld Roland is in is filled with confused old people being parasitised by 'bogles' which steal their memories and identities. It's not remotely subtle but also heartbreaking in how understated it is. The strangeness of the woman dragging a cardboard box is nightmarish. This is actual horror.
Terry. Oh my god. Sir. This is one of your children's books and you brought this here. You brought this here because you trusted and respected your young readers with something so hard and personal. This is Terry writing down his deepest fear, in a children's story, the safest place to put the most frightening things you can think of.
And this sequence doesn't have a lot to do with the climax of Wintersmith where it's found. The monsters in the Underworld could have been anything at all. I was expecting stuff from the Dungeon Dimensions, not the most personal expression of vulnerability I have read in any Discworld book yet. It didn't need to be here, but Terry needed to write it. Good god. I'm going to have a little cry about this.
man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.
I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"
it's just... lonely and sucks bad.
Spite