#i'm normal!

[berdyayeva]

having fun with charcoal brushes. here's some vicky^_^

[marieyakumo]

btw just so you know it's perfectly normal to have headcanons and thoughts about what lady yukari smells like at different times of the year. just so you know. it's normal and sane.

[sealofphobos]

LETS FLESH THIS PLACE UP !!!! I think is what I would say as a dj right b4 dropping the beat

[yvtro]

the reason for which jason struggles with forgiving bruce specifically is because bruce is the only person he ever had so much hope in. the only person he came to truly rely on.

he has a huge heart. he forgave his parents for not being perfect and neglecting him, he forgave two-face for killing his father (and said he pitied him, even), his last act was a self-sacrificial attempt to save a woman who set him up for torture and death. he can justify nearly every offence toward himself, because he feels for people so deeply.

but perhaps part of the reason for which it came so easily to him was also that he never expected these people to do any better. he was a parentified child, and he grew up watching his neighbours slipping into the life of crime due to the flawed system. he understood survival, self-preservation, and despair. he was not always alone, he might have been loved, yet he could not rely on "charity." everyone had their own burdens. so jay, 12, already had a deep conviction that he could not be a priority for anyone, and in his books, that was okay. he still believed in the world as a whole. he just wasn't sure if anyone in this world could genuinely care for him.

and then bruce came into his life, challenging this idea. bruce chose him. bruce spent years gaining his trust, dedicated so much of his time to training him. bruce, who patiently worked through his insecurities with him in the field, who looked out for him. bruce, with whom jay spent most of his time, his world being so narrow, everything concentrating on the joy of being robin. bruce, who made him feel so protected when out fighting criminals, that jay's reaction to getting snatched and tied up the scarecrow was merely saying: batman will put you away!

and by the age of 15, jay is open to being loved and cared for. in fact, jason can't imagine not having someone to lean on anymore, to the point where a single doubt that bruce expresses leaves him petrified. maybe he never realised that he could be so greedy before, that he could crave safety so much. but that fear of losing the thing he never even suspected he could have until a couple of years before – this is what now leads him to that warehouse in ethiopia.

and even after all of that, this implicit trust is not gone. fresh out of soil, jay's first thought is that of his dad. but to discover that the world he came back into feels so unsafe, that he is so alone, makes him feel betrayed. because there was a time when bruce made him believe that he was his priority. that he was loved. that he was special. bruce was one single person in his life that he grew to have expectations of. and where is bruce now? of course he doesn't know jason is alive, but where is bruce now? why does it seem like that love never really mattered? where is bruce now?

there is, of course, a part of him that is so quick to forgive, or rather a part that doesn't even think there's any blame. but he also had expectations, expectations of no one else, expectations that his father worked so hard for. and bruce taught him how to ask for things.

so he will ask. just this once.

[sendmylovetou]

never feel more parasocial than when i'm listening to music. jacob anderson do u listen to open mike eagle? jacob anderson have u heard the new open mike eagle album? yeah the one that came out 30 minutes ago have u heard it yet do u wanna talk to me about music

[fishparasite]

so. 100 hours in 4 weeks huh.

[callmearcturus]

wrist hurting too much to write = gonna talk about The Process of writing for an hour and a half lmao