Jared’s Secret
TW: This is a self-insert one-shot, in which you are the short-time datefriend of Jared (AND ALSO A HUGE FUCKIGN JOKE WITH JOKE TAGS)
“CRONCH. CRONCH” you heard from the bathroom. It is a Friday night, the first time you have slept over at Jared’s house, having only been dating 3 weeks and his parents are finally out of town for the weekend. It was an unusual and mysterious sound emitting from behind the bathroom door, not unlike the noise of a beloved pet chowing on some kibble. You were curious. Very curious. Jared has been in the bathroom for 20 minutes now….what could he be doing?
You decide to get up and walk over to the bathroom, knocking on the door. There is no response, only cronching. You knock again. Cronch. The cronches are getting faster, more desperate, more nervous with every second passing. You try to open the door, it’s locked. The cronches get louder and louder, faster and faster. You pull on the door knob, knocking and talking “Jared?” No response. More cronching. “Jared?!” You knock the door down with your big buff self. Jared is into strong people because he’s a total bottom.
What unfolds in front of you is traumatizing. Jared, on the floor and eating….”BATHBOMBS?” you exclaim “What the everloving fuck?” Jared looks nervous, his face red and sweaty “Y/N…” he sighs “I can explain….” His clothes were covered in the dust of various bathbombs, he’s been binging or he’s been doing it a while….no one knows.
“Spit it out then!” you exclaim
“I…I eat bathbombs…..” he stutters
“WHY”
“Because…..They taste good...” his face was growing redder with every second
“Goddamn Jared. I can’t deal. I need a minute” You walk off, sitting on the couch while Jared changes.
He walks back in a few minutes later, wearing new clothes. He wraps his arms around you and kisses your forehead “I’m sorry” he says softly. “We…we can work through this. I have a problem, I know. I’ve been trying to quit.”
You look up at him, smiling slowly and ruffling his hair “Yeah…Yeah we can”
~FIN~
