#do you ever think that john remembers this#remembers how sherlock pushed him away#remembers how hours later sherlock was dead on the pavement#how he tried to help but sherlock refused#and he wonders what went wrong#why sherlock didn't let him in#after a year and a half of trying and succeeding to get him to open up#to be his friend#to be /human/#why it suddenly was for naught#and maybe he blamed sherlock at first for being selfish and taking his own life#but then at the end of the night he blames himself#because he wasn't enough to save sherlock#even if sherlock didn't want to be saved#it still wasn't enough#sherlock[4]#tag rant
zab i am crying ow















