from Brybry ] -❝ oh god ! time out, time out ! ❞ ❝ too exotic ? ❞ ❝ i got blood right in my open eye ! ❞ ❝ i want to become a contract killer. ❞ ❝ i can’t wait to never speak of this. ❞ ❝ you always make it hard. ❞ (( this is bryan while drunk ❝ like beyoncé says, please, please stop cheating on me. ❞)) , ❝ he’s going in through the back ! oh god, he’s inside ! ❞
❝ oh god ! time out, time out ! ❞
“Bry, you’re the one who asked. Don’t poke the bear if you don’t want to actually hear about my sex life.”
❝ too exotic ? ❞
“Just a little. I- I don’t know how to look after an Iguana.”
❝ i got blood right in my open eye ! ❞
“You have to stop slashing towards yourself! Or you know, seeing as you’re the one disposing of limbs actually close your eyes. Or- or I could get you some goggles?”
❝ i want to become a contract killer. ❞
“That is- that is the worst idea you’ve ever had. Don’t do that. Can’t you just, I don’t know, work in a cafe or something?”
❝ i can’t wait to never speak of this. ❞
“Agreed. But I’m going to say it aloud just to make sure that we both saw the same thing and we’re not crazy. Well, crazier. We saw a skunk fucking a raccoon.”
❝ you always make it hard. ❞
“I’m sorry, okay? I did my best. Baking is not my strong suit and I don’t understand what I did. How did I make cookies snap-able?”
❝ like beyoncé says, please, please stop cheating on me. ❞
“Bryan. We’re not dating. I literally can’t cheat on you. And I didn’t cheat at Clue the one time okay I’m just really good at that game.”
❝ he’s going in through the back ! oh god, he’s inside ! ❞
“You really haven’t seen Scream before have you? Well I’m not telling you anything. Just watch the movie. Here, have a pillow to hide behind. You’ll need it.”