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Camiseta Mothewell 1990/91

[ancelottery]

Telling Tales & Steady Eddy

The Ancelottery always looked forward to muck-up day. The smell of rotten eggs, the waft of flour in the air, the mindless vandalising of school property and the "urinating over neighbour's houses". But perhaps best of all was the opportunity to snitch on the bully boys, without any fear of, or time for, malicious retaliation.

After the weekend's A-league action, it seems that we aren't the only ones with a penchant for telling tales. 

On the back of witnessing 22-men conduct the kind of morale sapping hoofball that would turn anyone to violence, Morwell Heart coach, John Aloisi, took it upon himself to chat to the fourth official about what he perceived to be, Jacob Burns FC's hatchet-like "bullying" job on the candy stripes. 

"Once our player releases the ball they go through them a bit," Aloisi squealed to the bored official. The orange one's somewhat hypocritical disclosure instantly sent Jacob Burns into a "disrespectful" anti-cashmere funk and sparked the kind of half-time coach versus player handbags that can only be diffused by calling the AAMI Park Anti-Social Behaviour Hotline.  

"There wasn't much in it at all," Perth coach Iain Ferguson retorted after, managing to sum up both the incident and the AAMI Park attendance in seven words or less. 

Elsewhere in the A-league, Cranky Franky placed an order for a new Volgren CR228 as Bling FC begin to implement their new crowd-pleasing 8-1-1 formation - assuming of course that the crowd is full of Italian bandwagon-jumpers. 

Conversely, Melbourne Victory's brand of cavalier, we'll-score-one-more-than-you football reached a new level of giddy abandon with a defensive display even more side-splittingly funny than anything ever presented by eBay Luzardo or Matty Kemp. Ange may well sign a ball boy or mascot to bolster his defence next week. 

According to Stan Lazaridis, one man he should sign is Persepolis target, David Carney. "I would like to see him join an A-League club, get himself playing again and get himself back in the shop window," Lazaridis joked. 

"David is a decent player down the left. He will do a shift for you in the team and do his bit. He won’t take on four or five players and score in the top corner but... he’s good on the ball. But he's not one of those players who makes the headlines. He’s more of a steady-Eddy type."

Wikipedia notes that Steady Eddy is "an Australian comedian and actor with Cerebral Palsy. Eddy often uses his disability as the basis for his comedy." Whether Stan Lazaridis knows this remains unclear.

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Iain Ferguson, Dundee United v Hearts, SPL, 20 December 1986