#iamthebadwolf85

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “Here’s the thing: when I started on my journey to lose weight, I wore...”

When I stared working out, I was a 14 & now I'm an 8. It's totally doable though it's been harder to drop the lbs once I turned 30. You're gonna make it. It'll take some time but it'll happen. ♥️

Okay, so seriously, first of all: congratulations! That is awesome!!

It’s not that I can’t lose weight (I lost 90 pounds when I was 46, so I know I can do it 4 years later, plus I lost 35 from August to, roughly, mid December and had almost no loss in September - listen to me, justifying everything...), it’s the motivation. I have no motivation right now. I tried walking a few weeks ago and when i got home: ugh. I know why I gained the 5 lbs recently (and I knew I gained it based on how my jeans were fitting): it’s that I went off the plan (frankly: had trouble eating and then ate the “wrong” foods but didn’t eat any of the foods on my ‘do not eat’ list, more of a ‘ate too much of foods that i’m limiting but still allowed’ list).

There are lots of things in my head right now: 1. Do I become FTE at the place where I’m working? if not, do I have them extend my contract another 6 months, or do I cut it off at the end of my contract? My job right now is relatively easy (almost too easy and that is part of the problem), but I don’t know if I want to stay there. They are doing everything they can to move to a ‘work from home and only come into the office when it’s really necessary’ model, and that has so much appeal! I’d have so much more time to myself (theoretically) under that kind of a model, but I don’t know that I want to stay there (and if you knew the company, you’d understand why: it could be a big black mark on my resume and if I stay there, probably staying there for the rest of my career). 2. And then there’s my writing: trying to develop some sort of discipline around that, too. 3. And then the weight loss. It takes time and a certain level of commitment which is much easier if I have a stable job and am working from home!

Maybe I need to stop looking so long term and think of the short term? I don’t know. I just need to find the motivation to just get off my fat ass and just do it.

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “normally, i’m very good about pre-ordering the movies i want on amazon...”

From what I could tell, they didn't have it on Amazon fro preorder. I got mine though the Disney store.

HOW DARE THEY!

but seriously, at least now i know. thank you!!

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “did my workout (and wow, that club was busy), ran my errands, now I’m...”

EAT ALL THE FOODS!!!

lolol. that’ll be tomorrow (prime rib and crab and wine and who knows what other delectable treats - sans sugar). i need to remain reasonable.

i think my bigger ‘eat all the foods’ day will be new year’s (from eve through the day). yummmmmmmmm.........

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “omg i am sore. sore i tell you: sore! I can’t wait to see what I’m...”

GET IT, GIRL!

other days i’ve been like this, i’ve woken the next morning and have had no soreness. i’m curious what tomorrow will bring.

now, for sleep...

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “on the one hand, i want to workout tonight. on the other, i’m...”

Take the day off. Sometimes you need a break to reset.

yeah, i realized that a little bit after i posted this. there were deeper things going on and while i’ve had a number of “days off” in the past couple of weeks, they’ve all been for a reason, not because i ‘just didn’t feel like it’ but more because of either feeling bad (like sick bad) or emotionally drained (after the election) or working too late. every day i haven’t worked out I’ve actually wanted to, deep down, so i know i’m on the right path.

yesterday was tough and a day full of triggers and i realized what they were today and that was part of the reason i’ve been so tired and worn. but i know this and my reaction to the triggers has stopped (stopped once i realized what was going on) and that gives me hope.

life is hard. crap is tossed our way and understanding when it is crap and that the crap doesn’t have to rule your life, well, i know that i’m coming out on the other side of letting the crap rule my life and that’s a gift. 

so you know what? i’ll take the extra day because you’re right: i need to reset. my long-term health and sanity is more important than one workout.

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your photo “Mmmmm, dinner tonight!”

You didn't get fries?!?! DAMN GIRL. Your willpower is amazing.

that was a lamb burger which was just so so so good. 

the thing about fries, well, french fries are fried (yeah, duh) and i haven’t had fried food since sometime in march. last time i had fried food my stomach told me, in no uncertain terms, not to do that again, so I haven’t.

I happen to have strong willpower, and I know that what I’m doing right now will be, for the most part, temporary, although I don’t know if I’ll ever really include sugar back in my diet (there were about 20 of us at dinner tonight and a variety of desserts were passed around and the smell of sugar was nauseating so probably going to avoid it for as long as I can)

my burger last night (sans pretzel bun) came with a plate full of fries (had I known I would have asked for something else) and even having them right in front of me: no desire to have one.

so, in reality, i don’t know if i have incredible willpower or if i’ve been able to successfully eliminate the desire for the unwanted foods. i have a feeling it is less the former and more likely the latter and i think that’s a very different thing from willpower. 

then again, what do i know

dinner was too late tonight, though, and I couldn’t workout. i’m really hopeful that i can workout tomorrow night.

[fassyanon]

IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?!?! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope it's AMAZEBALLS!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you!

I’m choosing to really celebrate it on Sunday and I know I’ll have a great time.

Now, all I need to do is figure out what I’m going to get myself for my birthday this year. Decisions decisions!

[fassyanon]

iamthebadwolf85 replied to your post “i can’t get my butt up off this sofa.”

Me toooooooo!! ������

okay. off the sofa on the count of three.

One

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