Hello, babies. I heard from a little birdie that "Hell Houses" are all the rage right now. I cannot for the life of me fathom why, but who am I to judge? And apparently, my producers think that I would make a great host for such an event. I mean, I'll take the payday.
So, what is a "Hell House," you ask? Well, the rules are simple: build skills to survive. Of course, it won't be easy.
No, you'll spend your days here, in the remnants of what was once Straud Manor. The manor has long been gone, of course, and the "house" built in its place many years ago was abandoned shortly after construction. Too many ghosts, they say. Spooky!
You'll be allowed to sleep and shower inside. Skill building challenges will also be held inside. There's no heating or air conditioning, though. This simply gets your heads out of the rain. Well, for the most part. I've been told the walls leak, and if you're not careful you may find yourself falling in the mysterious slime that coats the floors. Honestly, this place is disgusting. There are only two shower heads in the small bathroom. There are no toilets. You'll have to figure that out on your own, and good luck to you. I saw a couple of bushes around, maybe you could sneak in one of those? You'll also have to get used to the other contestants seeing you naked, if you've any hope of showering. After all, if you've got it, flaunt it, I always say.
Most of your days will be spent out here, on the grounds. It's spring now, so the days are getting warmer. But as you can see, snow is still falling around me. All the food you'll have access to lies in the two coolers behind me. Enjoy your tasty, cold oatmeal, I guess?
There are surprises, too. Scattered through the grounds, what will you find? Nothing good, I promise you that.
And remember... each morning at 6am, someone will die. Challenges will begin every day at noon. But don't worry! We'll be merciful, and give you a day to "settle in" to your surroundings.
Of course, I won't be slumming through the next few weeks. Could you imagine? What if I broke a nail down there? Ugh, just kill me right then! No, above your heads, I'll be in my apartment. I'll have access to everything I could desire... Aside from my hunnies, of course. They'll be safe at home with Evie. Instead, all to myself I'll have a comfortable bed, TV, video games, and a large jacuzzi tub. I also have a full kitchen. And did I mention it's climate controlled? Well, it is.
Feeling jealous, sweeties? Don't worry too much. Whoever comes in first place each challenge will be allowed just two hours in my apartment, left to their own devices. How will you spend your time, should you earn this honor?
So, what do you say, lovelies? We'll be bringing just seven human sims into their own personal hell. You can wear all the custom content you'd like, be it alpha or maxis match. Only thing is, you can only come in wearing one outfit. Make sure all your "outfit categories" are the same outfit. Everyone will start at zero, which means no skills when you walk in the doors of Hell House. If you have any questions, please forward them to my producer. I'm going to be busy amping myself up for the smell I've heard happens during these challenges...
Applicants have until January 12th.
I look forward to meeting you all.
