Seddie's downfall in iLove You was being way too dependent on Carly.
In iDate Sam & Freddie, we see Carly finally being fed up with being Seddie’s counselor and given the way that episode ended, I’d guess that Sam and Freddie had a talk about their relationship.
And then in iCan’t Take It, Sam mentions that they’ve been fighting less. And yes we see Carly helping Sam make up with Freddie, but that’s the only time she’s involved and even that it’s like…of course she’d want her friends to make up. Plus Sam isn’t always that good with words, so Carly was just saying everything that Sam was thinking.
It’s just in iLove You that it’s weird. It seems like Seddie are doing their own thing, and I don’t fault Carly for saying 'dating is learning to like things he likes' and all that, but the fact that Sam and Freddie were listening to Carly’s advice to Spencer it what gets me. Instead of talking about what happened with them, they’re relating with happened with Spencer and his girlfriend to their relationship.
I wish they had both had a real conversation about their relationship and talked about what happened, rather than just going to Carly yet again. Not that there’s anything wrong with going to Carly for advice, but they shouldn’t be doing that almost all the time.
hello friends! for the sake of archival (and for funsies), I'm currently in the process of posting all of my iCarly meta posts to ao3!
the first one is up already, and the rest are soon to come. ^_^ and I found this cool bit of HTML that lets me share the asks people sent, without having to use screenshots!
however, a couple of notes:
I am posting these fics under the Anonymous collection, because I refuse to make a new ao3 account for this, but I also don't want this linked to my actual fandom stuff
because I'm posting them anonymously, they will say "posted with permission!" or w/e in the descriptions (so that I don't run into any problems), but to be clear: it is me posting them. I am the one posting them. if you comment and get a response, that response will be from me.
I am locking these fics to be visible only to registered users, juuust in case
iCarly Meta, Part 5: Socko, Nominative Determinism, and How I Spend My Free Time
so, you may remember that I've made four separate iCarly posts before, because I am just way too into this dorky, ridiculous children's show.
well, over a year ago, I wrote this fifth one. and after some introspection, some really deep self-evaluation about what I want and where I'm going in life, I've decided that it's time to share it with the world at large
so...let's talk about Socko's family!
to catch you up: Socko is Spencer's best friend, who designs all of the fun socks that Spencer wears! he's first mentioned in s01e07 (iScream on Halloween), though some of his socks are shown as early as s01e02 (iWant More Viewers).
(technical note: production-wise, s01e09 is listed before s01e07, and I think that was intended to be Socko's introduction, and it would make sense, considering how Spencer describes him in that ep. but I can't prove this, and so we move on.)
while Socko is mentioned consistently throughout the show, he's never fully shown on screen. but, he does technically appear in an episode, because you can see part of his arm in s04e11-s04e13 (iParty with Victorious) when he hands Spencer the keys to his van.
Spencer and Socko have known each other since at least 1999 (as mentioned in s02e12, iRocked the Vote) when Spencer would have been 17 or 18. and despite Socko almost never being shown, it's clear that he spends a lot of time with Spencer, and that they're close. if Spencer needs something, Socko is always willing to call in a favor from one of his family members.
and boy, does Socko have a lot of very interesting family members.
let's go over some of them real quick:
Bernie is a welder, Otto is a used car salesman, Tyler designs neckties, Taylor is a tailor, Rob is a thief, Arty is an artist, Isaac is an optometrist, and Ryder is a motorcycle enthusiast.
are we noticing a pattern here?
every single one of these is an aptronym – a personal name that is aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner. and since all of these people are in some way related, this is fascinating to me.
it seems like Socko's family is really into nominative determinism – the idea that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names. whether or not this is true of people in real life is unclear, but in the universe of iCarly, this is something that Socko's family is all about.
when did it start, I wonder? who was the first in the family to have a job or hobby that related directly to their name? and who continued that pattern? because someone named Bernard going by "Bernie" and taking up welding is one thing, but an entire family of people going into fields that have to do with their names is unsettling.
is this on purpose, now? do the parents in Socko's family choose names for their children based on what they want them to be? is there an expectation that each child will have to choose a profession based on what their parents name them?
I think there is. and I think it's fucked up.
imagine growing up knowing that your name would control your future career options. that no matter how you felt about your name, choosing a career or hobby that matched it is what would make your parents happy. that at least some portion of your parents' love is tied to the idea that you will be what they named you.
and depending on the name, the kids aren't always left with a lot of options! someone named Bernie could be a welder, a woodburning artist, a firefighter, etc...but for Taylor, there's really only one path to take.
what if a kid is trans? I just have to wonder, would they be judged more for not identifying with their assigned sex at birth, or for changing their name?
and one of Socko's cousins is named Mary. think about that with me for a second – Mary.
imagine that the only dream your parents have for you is that you get married. and not just fall in love! no, you were given this name because their express purpose, their biggest hope for you is that you get legally married.
what if Mary had been gay? what if she grew up with fear in her heart, knowing that the only thing her parents had ever wanted from her wasn't possible, was actually illegal, because of who she was?
or what if she had been aro, or ace, or just otherwise not interested in relationships? or what if she was interested in relationships, but not the serious, legal commitment of marriage?
my hope here (my one fragile hope) is that Rob, Mary, and Josh are siblings, and that their parents were trying to escape this part of the family legacy. maybe they named their kids Robert, Marian, and Joshua, and tried to steer clear of any obvious career choices – but then their sons started going by "Josh" and "Rob" and causing trouble, and "Mary" started talking about her upcoming wedding, and they knew that they would never be free of the family curse.
'cause it's gotta be a curse, right? I feel like at this point, it has to be.
but hey, worry not! because I think there are some loopholes.
Penny, for example, had a lot of choices – she could have minted coins, or built fences, or designed ball-point pens, or been a cashier (etc, etc). but she didn't do any of those things! she started a t-shirt company, and made shirts with fun phrases on them like "church pants" and "parole baby" and "chest words" (all shirts I would wear for real).
her job didn't have anything to do with her name – but she still followed the family pattern. she named her t-shirt company "Penny-Tees", and sewed a single penny into each of her shirts. instead of finding a name-based occupation, she made her own.
I really think it's brilliant – she got to do what she wanted, and her parents couldn't complain, because it still suited her name! and if this pattern is curse-based, she found a way around it by following it to the letter (but not exactly the spirit), and because of this, she got to make her own choices.
and speaking of jobs that may or may not suit one's name: let's talk about Socko.
early in the show when we're introduced to him, we know three things about him:
he knows where to find huge pumpkins
he sells Spencer all of his wacky socks
his name is Socko
but, thinking about that third point…is it?
like, is his name actually Socko?
let's look at Socko's family tree for a moment:
(ID in alt text)
(yes, I made this. it took over two days. I skimmed through many episodes, looked through a large amount of the old iCarly website on the Wayback Machine, and as far as I know, this is canon accurate.)
(shhh, this was absolutely a valuable use of my time. don't worry about it.)
look at his family. look at the names.
almost all of them are, well…normal names. names that could belong to any acquaintance, friend, or relative in your own everyday life.
the only real exceptions here are Freight Dog, Boomer, and Dr. Paxil – but if we're being real? "Freight Dog" is almost definitely a nickname, "Paxil" isn't that strange-sounding of a surname, and I have actually seen people named "Boomer".
so that just leaves…Socko.
"Socko" is not a people name. it sounds mean, but I don't know how else to word that – it's just not a name for a human person.
it would be a great name for a cat or a dog (especially if they had paws that were a different color from their body – man, that'd be so cute!), but it is not a name that many parents would willingly give to a human child. especially when all of the other siblings in the family have relatively normal names.
my theory, my hottest take: I don't think "Socko" is his legal name.
think about it: Socko and every single one of his siblings went into the fashion industry. even accounting for the fact that they probably wanted Penny to have a different career, would Socko's parents really want all three of their other children going into the same industry, especially one as tumultuous and challenging as fashion design?
I think not. I think they gave Socko a different name, one that they believed would lead him down a completely distinct career path. and then, like Penny, Socko found his own true calling – but instead of changing his occupation to match his name? he changed his name to match his occupation.
it is my belief that Socko's birth name…the name his parents gave him…
(drumroll please)
…was "Socrates".
now hold on, just stay with me here. because I swear that this does make sense, really!
so, back at the beginning of this post I mentioned nominative determinism, but that term wasn't actually used until 1994. before then, it was called "onomastic determinism" or "die verpflichtung des namens" ("the obligation of the name"), but it wasn't really…a thing? it wasn't something that people really studied, and when they did, nobody could seem to come to a solid conclusion about whether or not your name does actually influence your career choice.
I think that in some way, Socko's parents wanted an answer. they wanted an explanation as to why their family tree reads like a joke book. and by naming their kid "Socrates", they were sending that question out into the world, hoping for a response.
because there were really two options here – either Socko would grow up to be a philosopher, someone who could search for meaning in the pattern of family job-finding, or he wouldn't. and if he didn't, if he threw off the shackles of his name and did something else entirely, then that in itself would be an answer.
and sure, maybe his parents should have thought about how "Socrates" might be abbreviated. maybe they should have considered that he could grow up to design socks. but hindsight is 20/20, and I don't know if that's something any parent would expect of their child, so I won't hold that against them.
I will however, judge them for naming two of their kids "Taylor" and "Tyler" – like, my god. can you imagine how often people got them mixed up? it's inhumane.
even worse if they were twins! though actually, that would make some kind of twisted sense – to give twins names that not only match, but that would lead them to careers in the same industry. maybe they wanted them to go into business together? hoo boy.
anyway, sorry, I've gone off-topic. back to Socko – or should I say, Socrates.
"Socrates" is a pretty fun name. two parts of it are σῶς (sôs, “safe and sound”) and κράτος (krátos, “power”), which is an interesting name meaning for a dude who was executed for corrupting the youth.
(I'm talking about the philosopher here – as far as I know, Socko from iCarly was not executed for corrupting the youth. at least, not yet.)
and if we keep thinking about Socrates (the philosopher), I think there's another reason that this name fits: we know fuck-all about Socrates.
sure, he's well-known – lots of people know about his ideas, and the Socratic method – but…he never actually wrote anything. everything we think we know about him, we learned from somebody else.
all of Socrates' interests, his skills, his beliefs? they were all things we learned from Plato, Xenophon, or (I guess) Aristophanes. we have no idea what the dude was actually like, outside of that.
just like we have no idea what Socko is like, outside of what Spencer says.
Socrates is a vital figure in the history of western philosophy, but all of the things we know about him are altered by the opinions of other people, filtered through the lenses of their perception.
and Socko is a vital character in the show iCarly, but all of the things we know about him – his hobbies, his opinions, his wants – are things we've heard second-hand from Spencer.
(you're laughing. Spencer Shay is a stand-in for Plato, and you're laughing.)
so in a very fun way, Socko (Socrates) did live up to his name…by being unknown to us, the audience.
us, watching this TV show the way chained prisoners watch shadows dance on the wall of a cave.
continuing down this rabbit hole…does this mean that one of the iCarly crew is Aristotle?
no…perhaps that's taking it too far.
(it'd be Gibby)
final notes:
I haven't seen all of the iCarly reboot yet (I'm on episode 3! I have mixed feelings, but I think one of the writers ships the thing that I ship, so that's fun), so if it mentions something about Socko lore, I unfortunately do not know about it.
fun fact: the ancient Greeks did often have names that were meant to have sway on their lives! for example: Hedistē ("most delightful"), Demotimos ("honored among the people"), Hippodamas ("horse-tamer"), Nikomachē ("victorious in battle").
additional fun fact: I asked one of the mods of the iCarly wiki, and they said I could put the family tree I made on the page for Socko's Family! :D
look! it's my thing! the thing that I made! how cool is that?!
(I'll be real; I am way too proud of this)
yes, two of Socko's family members have inaptronyms instead of aptronyms: Harry (bald) and Jean (allergic to denim). but in my mind, they still count – the names are still weirdly suited to their specific lives.
since I'm pretty sure "Freight Dog" is a nickname, I also took a crack at what I think his legal name might be. my theory? "Aaron".
(get it? Aaron? because he's in the air? okay, I'll see myself out.)
anyway, my new hobby is coming up with more family members for Socko to have. descend with me into the deepest reaches of The Headcanon Zone, and behold:
Lisa: She's a landlord (she leases apartments). Socko hates her.
Barry: A big ol' bear of a man. Or he could work for Gund or Build-a-Bear or something. That could be fun!
Mike: Audio technician
Amy: Sharpshooter
Summer: Camp counselor
Tony: Orthopedist. (toe-knee)
Marty: Owns and operates a supermarket
and because it's fun, my friend @wonderbound joined in and came up with these super great ones:
Drew: Illustrator
Cody: Programmer or hacker
Pete: Bryologist (he studies moss!)
Norm: He's just a guy
Flo: Plumber – or maybe, an expert in fluid dynamics
Hattie: Milliner (she makes hats)
Howl: Werewolf (or perhaps, the owner of a moving castle 👀)
Will: Estate planning attorney (he writes wills)
anyway, I think that's about it. thanks for coming with me on this adventure! I hope it was as much of a rollercoaster to read as it was to write, because yeah, it was a weird one over here.
I mean, it started out normal? but then the next thing I knew, I had gotten invested, made nine edits to the iCarly wiki, and designed that whole family tree. so I think maybe I went a little overboard with this one. xD
tune in next time, for…I dunno. I think my brain needs a break after that. but, eventually I would love to write more meta! just…maybe not all for iCarly? I have some things to say about Gravity Falls that I think are gonna blow your minds.
I finally wrote part five of my iCarly meta series!
but, here’s another thing:
I am actually kinda scared to post this one to tumblr. mostly because I have a feeling that one day it will come back to haunt me, because of reasons.
it’s up on my patreon right now (for all patrons), and as it stands, this will be a patreon exclusive. right now, I have absolutely no plans to post it to tumblr, and unless something drastic happens, it’s going to stay that way.
I know this is kind of a weird situation, but I just felt like it was for the best. for reasons that you’ll soon see, if you read the post.
a preview of what you’re in for should you choose to read it:
so, if that’s your jam, cool! and if not, that’s cool too!
honestly, I’m just happy to be here
update: this post is now on tumblr! go find it under my “icarly meta” tag!
you mentioned sam’s home life earlier- can we hear your thoughts on that?
(previous iCarly posts: 1 - 2 - 3)
hell yeah, let’s dig into what we know about Sam Puckett.
firstly, unlike many of the other characters in this show, Sam’s absent parent is actually mentioned! (shocking, right?)
Sam talks about her father a few different times, but every time she does, it’s...not good. and, it’s always a part of a joking and/or snarky comment about something else.
one example is in s04e10 (iParty With Victorious). in this ep, Carly says (about a guy she’s worried might be cheating on her), "He told me I'm one of a kind!" and Sam responds with, "Yes, and my dad once told my mom he was coming back!"
another mention is in the finale (iGoodbye) when Carly asks Sam’s opinion about her going to live with her dad, and Sam says, “Dude...if my dad asked me to spend some time with him in Italy, I’d say - well, first I’d say ‘Oh, so you’re my dad...’ - and then I’d go.”
between these snippets, we can see a clear (but upsetting) picture - Sam doesn’t know who her father is, and it’s because he abandoned her.
cool, so, off to a dark start! but don’t worry - it only goes downhill from here.
a major part of Sam’s character is her love of food - and that’s great! it’s cool to see a female character have that personality trait, because that’s pretty uncommon. but although her relationship with food is often played for laughs, I think there’s a serious concern here that nobody in the show really talks about.
Sam raids the Shays’ fridge almost every time she comes over. Sam hoards food in her pockets, and reacts violently when people try to take food away from her. Sam eats very quickly, to the point where it’s almost dangerous.
these signs all point to one thing: Sam has experienced food insecurity from a very young age.
I mean hell, Sam and Carly’s very first interaction with each other happened when Sam tried to steal Carly’s tuna sandwich, because she didn’t have a packed lunch of her own (shown in a flashback in s01e17).
and when Sam got a decent amount of money for the first time in s01e18 (iPromote Tech-Foots), she hired her own personal chef. why, you may ask? because (and this is an actual quote from the episode), “Well, my mom doesn’t feed me...”
unrelated rant: speaking of s01e18, it’s absolutely wild to me that this show had an episode where the moral can be boiled down to “1. don’t take money to promote products that you haven’t personally used, and 2. smart technology is often dangerous or, at the very least, unnecessary.”
back then (in 2008), it seemed like kind of a weird thing to teach to children, but considering how influencers and sponsorships and easily-exploitable smart tech have flourished in the years since, I feel like more people probably should have taken that episode’s message to heart...
anyway, back to the topic at hand. here’s something you might have forgotten: Samantha Puckett is not an only child! she has a twin sister named Melanie who shows up in exactly one episode (but is mentioned in a few others).
Melanie is everything that Sam isn’t - she goes to a fancy boarding school, she gets good grades, and she’s the only mentioned member of the Puckett family that doesn’t have a criminal record. and here’s something else we know: Melanie is their mother’s favorite child.
this actually comes up in s04e02 (iSam’s Mom) when Sam’s mother (played by Jane Lynch, by the way!) yells at Sam, “Why can’t you be more like Melanie?!”
we can see from all of this why Sam hates Melanie so much - she’s spent her whole life being compared to her, while at the same time being raised very differently. Sam was abused and neglected by their mom, and had to fight to survive - but it seems that Melanie didn’t have those same struggles.
I’m not saying that Melanie had it easy (I mean, they were both born on a bus, and did probably have some shared trauma from when they were young), but at the very least, being at boarding school meant that she escaped a lot of their mother’s anger and neglect.
personally, I’m of the belief that Sam’s mistreatment stems from her mom’s own self-hatred. on some level, Pam Puckett hates herself, and so she takes that out on the child that most resembles her - Sam - while rewarding and praising the child that she most wishes she could be like.
it’s fucked up. Sam’s entire life is fucked up...which is why she needs Carly as much as she does.
when Sam and Carly met, they were 8 years old, and both of them had already been through so much. Sam’s mom was neglectful and abusive, and Carly’s mom had died. in the show they’re painted as polar opposites, but it’s not really surprising that with their shared trauma, they’d find in each other a deep and lasting friendship.
I think Spencer saw that too. he saw this scrawny, angry little 8-year-old trying to fight her way through life, and he knew that he had to help her. that’s why the Shay fridge is always well-stocked for when Sam comes over, and it’s why he doesn’t really mind when he finds her in their apartment when Carly’s not home.
I know I talk a lot about Spencer Shay, but I really think that he’s the glue that holds this entire show together. he may be a big goofy man-child, but he’s also the main role model for three kids, only one of whom he’s related to. sure, he’s done some weird and messed-up stuff, but I truly cannot shut up about the good that he’s done, and the impact he’s had on these kids’ lives.
and speaking of...
I see this ask, and I appreciate it. I’m still convinced that Spencer’s closeted for a reason (as I mentioned in my other post), but I do think that Spencer would see Sam and know that she wasn’t straight. the queer energy just bleeds off of her, mixed in with all of the anger and desperation that’s kept her alive.
the real question is, does Sam have the self-awareness to realize this about herself?
maybe. I like to think she does, especially near the end of the show. the signs have been there from the start: Sam got jealous almost every time Carly had a boyfriend, or even another close friend. she once got a job at the Pear Store just because Carly said that Freddie looked cute in his uniform. if Sam spent a moment in introspection, I think she’d figure it out.
but I also think it might be hard for her for another reason: she’s never really seen what a healthy relationship looks like. all of her friends’ parents are either divorced, widowed, or otherwise separated, and Sam’s mom is...I mean, she’s a mess. Pam Puckett’s been engaged eighteen times, and she’s fucked so many Italian guys that Sam learned how to speak fluent Italian, and yes, that is a canon fact (s04e01).
even when Sam dated Freddie, it was awkward and forced. they were basically two kinsey-5s trying to turn their mutual hatred for each other (and maybe even their mutual crushes on both Shay siblings) into a relationship, and when things got tough, they crashed and burned.
my point here is that when you haven’t seen healthy relationships, it’s harder to figure out if that’s something you might want. and if you do want it, it can be hard to reconcile what you’re feeling with what you think society expects from you, based on the relationships that you have seen.
and it’s not just about dating - Sam hasn’t seen many examples of healthy behavior in general. most of the adults in Sam’s life either ignore her, treat her like a criminal, or are themselves criminals! when it comes down to it, the only good adult role model that Sam has is...Spencer Shay.
Spencer knows that Sam is a troublemaker, but he never once tries to stop Carly from being friends with her. Spencer encourages her interests, offers her advice, and helps her out when things are rough - like the time she was having recurring nightmares about soup being stolen from her (which again, ties back into the food insecurity thing).
and in the series finale, Spencer gave her what is maybe the most important gift she’s ever received - he gave her a way out. he gave her that motorcycle, and told her she had a good heart, and that set Sam free.
Spencer saw the kindness (and the queerness) in her, even under the layers she’d built up to protect herself, and he gave her a way to carve her own future.
because of this, Sam got one of the happiest endings in the show. although her future was uncertain, she got to escape her abusive mom and create a new life for herself, under nobody’s terms but her own.
please write part three of your icarly meta i’m gonna cry about spencer as a quirky queer man he was always my favorite and i just want him to be happy
I will get back to Spencer, because I have some more things to say about him - but for now, let’s take a little detour.
let’s talk about Freddie.
at the beginning of the show, Freddie is definitely a weird kid. he’s got a crush on Carly, but it’s nearly obsessive, and he has a hard time acting normal around her.
over the years, he mellows out, and grows into himself more - just like Spencer, he’s very passionate about what he does, but it takes him some time to figure out how he fits into their friend group, and how to express his creativity without overthinking it.
and also just like Spencer, Freddie is not heterosexual.
okay, so sure - he’s not rollerblading everywhere or joining a book club. but there’s more than one way to be queer! even in a show like this, you don’t have to be flamboyant to be very obviously attracted to dudes (which Freddie is, by the way. more on that in a bit).
let’s go to season 1 again.
s01e09 (iWill Date Freddie) is a cute episode in which tiny, baby Freddie Benson goes on his first date! and when his mom finds out about his plans, there is this exchange:
Mrs. Benson: “I’m so proud of you; I can’t believe this is finally happening! Your first date...”
Freddie: “Mom...”
Mrs. Benson: “...And with a girl!”
Freddie: “Mom!”
Sam: (sarcastically) “We’re all in shock...”
now, this may seem like period-typical homophobia on the part of the writers (that’s because it is!), but in-universe, it also lends us a little insight as to how Freddie’s mom views him - she’s been wondering if he might be gay. but, don’t worry! he’s going on a date with a girl, therefore he must be straight, and so Mrs. Benson is delighted.
(this poor child.)
but the above interaction is not the gayest part of this episode. oh, no. that happens when Freddie asks Spencer for first date advice, and Spencer says that if he runs out of things to say, he should stare deeply into the girl’s eyes, because it’ll make him seem cool and mysterious.
Freddie starts to say “Yeah, I don’t really think that works...” but when he looks up, Spencer is staring deeply into his eyes, cheerful and earnest. and just like that, Freddie loses his train of thought and stares back, falling silent.
I really don’t know what the writers were trying for there, but like...holy shit, right? that’s gay as hell.
there’s actually a decent amount of evidence that Freddie has a crush on Spencer - and no, it’s not just about the time Spencer taught him how to fence (though it is very much about that).
it’s also about s03e08 (iQuit iCarly). in this episode, we learn that Spencer has a birthmark on his butt. I’m not kidding - this is a canon fact about Spencer Shay.
“but how do we know this?” you might ask. oh, friends. we know this because Freddie notices it when he checks out Spencer’s ass.
that’s not even a joke. that actually happened. Spencer had set up a bunch of mirrors so he could watch TV while taking a shower. and, apparently unable to resist, Freddie checks him out in one of the mirrors and asks about his birthmark.
what a show, you guys. what a show.
even besides all of that, I think the friendship between Freddie and Spencer is really interesting. here’s Freddie, this little nerdy kid with an incredibly overbearing mom - a mom who gives him tick baths every other week, a mom who installed a chip in his head so that she could track him everywhere he goes - and then right next door, there’s Spencer Shay.
Spencer, who let him crash in their living room when he didn’t want to go home to his mother. Spencer, who asked, “Think it’d be okay with your mom?” when Freddie wanted to try fencing, but when Freddie said, “No...” only grinned and exclaimed, “Let’s do it!”
for Freddie, Spencer is a bad influence in the best possible way. it’s Spencer who gives him dating advice, who nerds out with him about video games and movies, and who is, for the most part, his only male role model.
(no wonder Freddie has a crush on him)
but while I’m talking about the men in Freddie’s life...where is his dad? like, genuinely, where the fuck is Freddie’s dad?
and, more importantly - who is Freddie’s dad? because you see, Freddie’s mom is Mrs. Benson. that’s the name she’s called throughout the show - not Ms. Benson, but Mrs. Benson - implying that it’s her married name.
but in s01e22 (iFence), we find out that Freddie’s great-grandfather ran a troupe of fencers called The Fencin’ Bensons. his great-grandfather on his mom’s side of the family.
now, I’m not saying that anything bad happened here - but I do think it’s interesting that the show hints that Freddie’s parents had the same last name.
if we dig, we can find out a bit more - there was an unaired scene from s03e03 (iSpeed Date), where Freddie mentions that his father’s name is/was Leonard Benson, and confirms that his parents had the same last name before they were married. unfortunately, this never made it into the show, and is therefore not canon. and still, it doesn’t answer the biggest question - where’s Freddie’s dad?
there is no concrete answer to this. just like Carly and Spencer’s mom, Mr. Benson was never mentioned on the show.
turns out this show has kind of a lot of absent parents. I’m not sure how to feel about that.
so, this post has gone on long enough, but I have a lot of feelings about Freddie, so once more I’m going to talk about the show’s finale.
Freddie Benson got maybe the worst ending out of all of the characters.
if you haven’t seen the finale (warning, spoilers, I guess?), you should know that it was weird. it’s a long episode and a lot of things happen, but here is basically how it ended:
* Carly’s dad showed up and asked her to move to Italy with him
* Carly packed up, said goodbye to everyone, and then left.
* Freddie got all of his tech stuff from their studio, took it back to his apartment, and leaned on the door a bit, thinking about the past.
* Sam got on her motorcycle (I’ll talk more about this in another post), and rode off into the distance, her destination unclear.
* Spencer sat on the couch, smiled to himself like he was trying not to cry, and accidentally set his squirrel sculpture on fire.
that’s it. that’s how the show ended.
Spencer’s ending is one of the hardest for me to think about - he raised this kid for at least twelve years, and now she’s gone, no looking back, and that’s sad.
but Spencer is an adult, and he’ll be okay. he knew parenting was a thankless job, and he can be happy now - Carly gets to be with their dad! she gets to go off and have adventures, and that’s why he’s smiling a little at the end. it hurts, but he’s happy for her. his job is done - time to figure out what the fuck to do with the rest of his life (weird gay stuff, probably).
and Sam? Sam will be fine. she’s always been able to take care of herself, and she knows what she’s doing - even if she’s reckless, she’ll turn out okay.
Freddie’s ending is what gets me the most. the day before, he was the technical producer for a hugely successful web show, with two best friends who’d been with him since middle school. and then, suddenly, all of that was gone.
Freddie Benson had to graduate high school without his two best friends by his side. he had to figure out a new purpose for his life, something else that could help him escape from the life his mother wants him to live. because after the series finale? most of Freddie’s life is back to what it was in season 1.
sure, he’s got Gibby, and that’s great! but he was always closer to Sam, Carly, and Spencer. Spencer, who he probably won’t hang out with much, now that he doesn’t have the excuse of him being his best friend’s older brother.
like, shit, you guys - this is heartbreaking to me. he had everything, and then he had to enter the next part of his life completely alone.
I just...I can’t get over it. Freddie Benson deserved better.
oh I desperately want to know more of your thoughts about iCarly 👉👈
alright, ask and you shall receive! let’s get into it.
so, first, a correction to my last post. in it, I said that we don’t know when Spencer dated Audrey. but in fact, we do!
I checked my notes again, and in s04e05 (iDo), Carly and the gang try to convince a woman to marry her fiance instead of chasing after Spencer (god, what a weird show), and while listing Spencer’s negative qualities, Carly says, "Oh! And he hasn't had a steady girlfriend since high school!"
Spencer is 29 years old here. he’s been going on dates regularly throughout the show, and yet he hasn’t had a serious girlfriend since he dated Audrey in high school.
I’m not saying that this is a bad thing - you don’t need a relationship to be happy or to have a good life - but Spencer’s given up the majority (if not all) of his adult life to take care of Carly, and a relationship is obviously something that he wants.
but I’m not here to talk about Spencer being sad at the lack of a girlfriend - no, I’m here to talk about what Spencer says right after Carly makes the above comment. and what he says is, “Well, not a steady girlfriend per se...”
do you see what I’m getting at here?
Spencer isn’t straight. that’s what I’m getting at.
now, I’m not saying that Spencer is canonically queer - this was a nickelodeon show from 2007; there’s no way they would have made it canon. but this show has a hell of a lot of subtext, and I think it’s time we break down some of it.
let’s go back to season 1.
in s01e05 (iWanna Stay With Spencer), one of Spencer’s sculptures malfunctions and almost seriously injures Carly. their granddad shows up and yells at Spencer for his carelessness, and this is where we start to see that underneath his goofy chaos, Spencer really is a responsible adult, and Carly’s safety and happiness is always his biggest priority.
I mention this episode for a lot of reasons, but firstly, holy shit - we actually get confirmation here that Spencer has been taking care of Carly for at least six years already! it’s shown that he held onto her inhaler just in case, and Carly says the last time she had an asthma attack, she was 7. Spencer’s no newbie at this whole parenting gig - he’s been doing it at least since he was 20!
besides that, I think this episode shows an important but subtle change in Spencer’s character - now, he’s increasingly aware that if he steps out of line, if he makes too many mistakes, Carly will be taken away from him. and he cannot let that happen.
in my opinion, this is where Spencer decides that he’s not going to tell Carly about the fact that he’s queer.
this would explain some of his awkwardness in 01e24 (iWin a Date). in this episode, Spencer joins an online dating service (because 2007 was a different time, and Tinder wasn’t around yet).
he sits down to record a video for his profile - shirt buttoned all the way up, hair slicked down, looking nervous and vulnerable - and he looks into the camera, introduces himself, and then says, “I enjoy people...”
that is...maybe the best description anyone could ever give of Spencer’s sexuality. I think about this scene all the time.
but what Spencer didn’t know here is that Carly was listening to him. he thought he was alone, and the second that he realized that Carly was there, he froze up and stopped talking. because he didn’t want her to know that he’s not straight.
god, it kills me.
I could go on for actual hours about this - about how Spencer must have felt, being solely responsible for his younger sister, wanting her to grow up with love and acceptance, but knowing that there are some things that he just can’t talk about without risking the life he’s built for them - but I will not, because I will cry.
instead, let’s go back to Audrey.
in the finale, this is how Spencer explains who Audrey is: “The most important girlfriend I’ve ever had - the only girl I’ve ever really been in love with.”
you see that wording? look at it. “The only girl I’ve ever really been in love with.” just like in iDo, when he said, “Well, not a steady girlfriend...”
I think those phrases are very telling. so is the part in s02e16 (iDate a Bad Boy) when Carly asks how old Spencer was when he started kissing girls. she could have asked, “How old were you when you had your first kiss?” - that would have sounded normal, but no - she said, “How old were you when you started kissing girls?”
Spencer’s not straight, and Carly knows it, and they can never talk about it.
and it’s not that Spencer’s trying to be subtle about his personality - he’s a confident, quirky guy who’s passionate about art, loves to cook (and is great at it!), and wears weird socks. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him rollerblading in the hallway, or saving up tickets to win a stuffed dolphin at the arcade, or doing cosplay - but when Carly walks in on his book club meeting, he gets nervous.
and maybe he was planning on telling Carly - maybe he thought that when she was old enough and there was no threat of their granddad taking her away, he could have that conversation with her.
...and then their dad showed up, and took Carly to Italy.
alright, if you really want me to, I will - but you’ve been warned, I truly do have too many thoughts and opinions about this show. alright? alright.
so, during the pandemic I did a full rewatch of this show, and took notes during each episode. it started out small - for example, in s01e06 (iNevel), I wrote down that Spencer likes tea with lemon in it, because I thought that was nice.
but this quickly turned into a much more detailed analysis of the plot and background of this show, and friends? there’s a lot to unpack here.
let’s start in season 1 - in s01e01 (iPilot), it’s stated that Spencer is 26 years old, and Carly is in 8th grade. now, we know that she’s 18 when the show ends, so that means in season 1, she’s 13. that’d put Spencer’s birth year in 1981, and Carly’s in 1994.
a 13-year age gap between siblings is pretty uncommon! it’s not unheard of, but it does raise some interesting questions - firstly, how old are Carly’s parents?
we only meet Colonel Steven Shay in the finale episode (s06e13 - iGoodbye), but he looks...young. sure, he’d be old enough to have an 18-year-old child, but at that point Spencer is 31 years old! leading to my next conclusion - their parents were very young when they had Spencer.
(fun fact - the actor that played Colonel Shay is only 7 years older than Jerry Trainor! but, in this show, the character ages don’t match up with the actor ages, so I’m not trying to turn that into A Thing™. I just think it’s funny.)
anyway, in iGoodbye their dad looks like he’s maybe late 40s at most - meaning that when Spencer was born, their dad was no older than 18.
no shame at all to people who have kids that young, of course - but it is interesting, right? to think of Spencer, raised by two people who are nearly kids themselves - Spencer, whose baby sister was born when he was 13.
now, all of this leads to my next question: when did their mom die?
let’s be real here; their mom is dead. if their mom was still alive, there’s probably a very slim likelihood that the courts would be willing to grant Spencer custody of Carly while their dad is away - but Spencer is Carly’s legal guardian, and their mother is never mentioned over the course of this show. not once.
I wonder sometimes - does Carly remember their mom? depending on how old she was when it happened, I think it’s possible that Spencer really is the only mom Carly’s ever known. he’s definitely been taking care of her since well before the events of season 1.
just, think about this with me for a second. here’s Spencer Shay - this awkward, goofy kid, who’s got a mom and a dad and a little sister. and it’s weird being 13 and having a baby in the house, but they’re a family, and he’s loved, and he loves them all in return, and things are good.
and then their mom dies, and things just...fall apart.
how old was Spencer, when she died? was he in high school still, when he became his sister’s main caregiver? or was he in college?
(because yes, Spencer went to college. we know this because he successfully got into law school, and most law schools require at least a 4-year bachelor’s degree.)
no matter how old he was when it happened, we know that by the time he went to law school, he was already taking care of Carly - otherwise, their father would know that Spencer had dropped out after three days, and in the finale, it’s clear that he didn’t.
it just kills me - Spencer, trying to do what his dad wants, trying to get this law degree so he could get a good job and provide for himself and Carly - but he couldn’t handle it. he couldn’t handle the pressure of being forced into an adult life that he didn’t want - not when he’d given up so much to be everything for Carly, to make sure she was safe and happy and looked after.
but, his parents raised him okay when they were young, right? so he can do the same for Carly, and make sure that she never has to worry about anything. and if he has to put off some of his life goals - art school, maybe, or dating - then that’s just what you do for family. right?
in s02e11 (iMeet Fred), Spencer says that 7th grade was arguably the best year of his life. in some ways, that’s really sweet - that’s the year that Carly was born, after all, and it’s clear that Spencer has always adored her.
but, if I can be real here? middle school sucks. and here Spencer is, 27 years old, and he still thinks of 7th grade as the best year of his life. that is...so deeply sad.
in the finale we also learn something else about Spencer - he’s only ever been in love once, with a girl named Audrey. presumably, this relationship happened prior to the start of the show, because although Spencer’s had some girlfriends over the years, we never saw Audrey.
either way, Spencer makes it clear that Audrey is the only girl he’s ever really loved, and that going on a date with her while she’s briefly in town is very important to him.
but when Carly wants someone to take her to the father-daughter dance, and their dad can’t make it? he cancels the date without a second thought. even Sam tries to talk him out of it, but he waves her away - because Carly is the most important thing in his life, and he’d sacrifice anything to make her happy.
Spencer Shay is a weird person, but he’s a good person - and despite what his dad and granddad might say, he is a responsible adult, and he’s the best parent that Carly has.
(he’s also queer as hell, but that’s a topic for another post)
