Oct 14, 2025
Every now and then I think about leaving a positive pregnancy test on the kitchen counter. Just to see what would happen.
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Every now and then I think about leaving a positive pregnancy test on the kitchen counter. Just to see what would happen.
Do you guys think Lily would get offended if I asked if my ex-wife could join us sometimes?
...She's pregnant with burglets.
@mauerfrau
"I think Lily would tell you that she's into that."
"Oh shit, for real?"
@ironbloodedprussian
He just…raises an eyebrow and slowly sips his whiskey. Then, he says, "Are you certain you could handle being rejected by two women at once?"
Critical damage. Man down.
"...Bro."
@mauerfrau
[Text] Absolutely they do, but most are too polite to say it out loud.
[text] A blue jay would.
Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, buddy?
It's called a study Bible. Praise the Lord. Amen.
Sir, did you eat my McDonald's Happy Meal? I think you owe me a McDonald's Happy Meal.
I don't even work here. I beat the shit out of the manager and stole his uniform to sneak into the kitchen and eat fries by the handful fresh out of the fryer. But yeah do you want chicken nuggets?