#icobm

[fromdispair2where]

Pop goes the weasel!

[fromdispair2where]

js gonna post this, I <3 Mars and her music and also shoutout to one of my fave moot @happylandfill23

[jexika-mendez]

Mlog

This is what say , "ya esta" its going to be different and that imma change bla blah bla y.. Nada ..pues que ago , me ago loca and waste my time and the odacity of expecting other to show me that they value my time.. I tell you im not constant and i fail. But its a type of life that i dont understand or can comprehend , i think and i try but why seems to be the end result which i struggle with y es lo que yo quiero.. Ay la vida miserable de una alma herida es la vida de esta malquerida y ya esta..

[jexika-mendez]

Time is Time

Ugh time is of the essence so they say,, but ugh this time is not working for me any more. Normally i like to look up the word that is on my brain and bring it to light with what im feeling, going through or so forth to get it out my head and vent..

So.. google states.. Time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events that occur in apparently irreversible succesion from the past through the present to the future. So I wonder, how does it relate the aspect of growing out and growing into a new existence and event of the progress, so is growth an indefinite continium of the progress of time. Can it be, growth is determined by our experiences and the decision to grow is held in control by the individual passing through the experiences.

Well, to bring this topic up, for me,time never seems to be on my side when I search for the, "right time." I have touched on the subject before on a previous blog about when is the right, "time to shine." Where I can see now, looking back and recalling the experience, that I decided to growout of the negative aspects of the experience I was going through. Where it gets me to start thinking about how time relates to growth,experiences and an individual. I can say that the existance can be of that of a person or an individual, that growth is the progress and the events are experiences. So the growth is the progress of individuals experiences that go through time, right?!?! I can get very technical and break it down in scientific aspects but i rather keep it at this level, this level that Im at right now.

I have always asked when is the right time to go through experiences in my life and i have looked for right experiences to go through in time, not really paying any attention to when the experience and when the time is in progress. Only, to then, start to look at my past and learn by what i have written in the form of music, notes, post,blogs, or journal entries to find it as answers, of when I went through it. Having the dreadful proof that I have been growing into experiences of what my situation is at this moment, sitting down and trying to figuer out why "the time" is never right for me. Which brings me to this moment that has been filled with growth experiences that i have recently gone through. Of having to ackowledge that I have been searching for the right time for almost everything that I hope to achieve in life and that I have let my experiences determine the events in my life that placed my thoughts of growing into a set time and continued to repeat it selft in my past, my present and my future, well that is until now.Coming to the realization that all this time, literately, the main focus has been "the time" during my experiences and the decision of the direction of my growth but time has never been thought of as simple part of every experience my thoughts go through and determine the progress of indifinite growth of my experiences in time. So could it be that the thought of time should not be what determines, if ,it is the right time to experience growth that the thought of the right growth should be what determines the right experience at that time, which by definition eventfully therefore it becomes the past, the present and the furture.

Kinda funny now to place time in a different aspect which to make my point i would like to realate to that saying everyone always says, "time is money," well then money is of value, there it is understood that time is a value given by money.Since it has been stated that time is value and based on the google definite of time I can say that the value set on experiences, on growth, and on thoughts, right. I dont think it really was to be considered that money is time and time is money. No one can ever say that money is an event they go through or money is the progress of an experience nor that time wasted is lost or that the time not earned meant time had no value or has decreased in value. Furthermore that money lost the experiences and that time earned minutes. So, no.. "time is not money" well at least, not in this matter. heheheh :)

So, with that said, I finalize my time dilemma, I would like to leave on a final note and say that time is of value. Though I would like to think it is of value to the experiences and to the growth that it should be an abundant aspect to provide a growing progress to the events that sets our existance, expereinced by our thoughts passing through time that has set our past, continue to set our present and will indifinately set our future.

Oh... so, now i can see, "time is time."

Love Jexika

[jexika-mendez]

Who is Blkjckx?

Blkjcks, born, Akeem Jackson is a Music Producer, Photographer, and Music Engineer from the Northside of Houston, TX. Blkjckx, a young innovated artist has been influenced by music since an early age and has built the skills that have landed him a place in the Houston iStandard Producer Showcase winners’ circle. Check out his interview by DJ MST BKR http://istandardproducers.com/blkjckx-interview/. Not only did he earn his place in the iStandard winners’ circle but Blkjcks is now setting the foundation for his music career and getting noticed by reputable music producers, like !LLMIND, who he considers a great mentor. You can hear his beat catalog on social media (links provided below) and get to know Blkjckx’s sound. Where you can notice that he is driven by the sounds of such great influences such as, J Dilla, !LLMIND, WonderGurl, Kaytranada, and Kayne West to name a few. His vision to set a name for himself not only as a music producer in the US but to set a name for himself all over the world, has no limits to how far his dreams and passion can go! Networking with different artist and teaming up with ICOBM Music an up and coming independent music company can only be a mere glimpse of a great music producer. Get to know Blkjckx… Soundcloud: https://www.soundcloud.com/blkjckx Bandcamp: https://blackjackx.bandcamp.com/ Beatstars: https://www.beatstars.com/blkjckx Twitter: @blkjckx IG: @blkjckx Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blkjckx

[4012]

I Can Only Be Me Part 3

What do I mean by being accepted? I don’t mean being the most popular kid at school. Being accepted is wanting to be apart of something. Anything even. I know for a fact I did things that weren’t like me at all just because I didn’t want to be alone. I wanted to be apart of something. But is being apart of something really that important? This want that we have confused as a need to be accepted can drive us to do some things that we probably wouldn’t do. I know I have done some things and when I look back on the times I did stuff I know I had no business doing, I felt ashamed of myself. I felt like a complete idiot. But I wasn’t in my right mind; I had driven myself to madness and immorality because I didn’t want to be alone. But if you think about it, many of us fear being alone. In both senses, being alone literally like you are sitting all by yourself in your house while your “friends” are out partying and participating in illegal and unhealthy activities or actually being alone, like having no one to talk to or go to. But even in both of these situations, for those who are saved, we always have someone we can go to. God many not be a human being, but HE is listening, and in seeking HIM, you will find peace and not feel alone. But even so, the Lord has sent people to us, friends. But then and again, how are we able to tell if the people around us are friends? This is not as easy as it seems, even for the most observant person. Being alone isn’t always as bad as it seems, in being alone, you may be able to find other people to hang out with, or you can find something healthier to do than going out and getting fall-down drunk on the weekends. But at the same time, is it better to be accepted and do things that aren’t good for you or don’t care for or like or be alone but still be able to enjoy yourself? Now clearly this isn’t always the easiest thing to think about and most of the time, we tend to choose to be accepted and go do whatever large groups of people are doing. But once we figure out that being alone is still better than destroying ourselves for the sake of not being alone we tend to feel unsure of ourselves and we also tend to feel ashamed of ourselves.

[4012]

I Can Only Be Me Part 2

Being wanted is something we all yearn. Few and far between you will find a person who does not care if they are not wanted. But being accepted is something we all strive to do. It is a natural thing to conform. What is uncommon then becomes common and the cycle continues. But is being accepted everything? Clearly it isn’t because many of us have found no happiness in conformity. Being an “individual” means many different things, but there is one defining thing that determines a true individual. Confidence. Confidence is different in every human and is expressed in a different way. But confidence says that stereotypes cannot describe you, societal standards cannot define you; you are your own person regardless of shared values or activities with other people. People know you as you, not one of “those” girls or one of “those” boys or a “typical” type of person. But we all struggle with being a true individual. We can have specific types of friends and still be an individual. But it can be hard to do that sometimes when we don’t know who we are, or if we have lost our identity. And losing your identity can happen easily when we get caught up in wanting to be accepted.

[4012]

I Can Only Be Me Part 1

Everyone has his or her wants. I’ve had my wants, but the difference between wants and needs are that wants can drive you to complete madness. I for one, have experienced it, and am constantly avoiding being driven to complete madness. Most of the world population wishes to be accepted, loved, and wanted. But at a young age, it’s hard for us to understand what it means to be loved, so we mistake being wanted for being loved, or we mistake being accepted as being loved. But the question we have to answer first is, what is love?