So today I have been thrown for a pretty big loop.
I have been trying to get back into therapy largely for my BPII, and because it’s a new organisation they had me sit in a new referral talk and answer loads of questions. Whatever, that’s not new.
So, that was 5/6 weeks ago, I had a phone session today and they want to start fronm scratch because one of the new therapist, who hasn’t even met me, is saying that he feels that my BPII was a misdiagnosis and that he feels I should be diagnosed as post trauma anxiety.
I have been Bipolar since I was around 13/14 and over 11 years I have had to teach myself to not hate myself and learn that my disorder was a thing to love, and now I’m being told no. They were wrong.
I know people say don’t base your identity on your disabilities/sexuality/ect. but my bipolar dianosis is what has made me who I am. One of my closest friends and I met through our bipolar disorder. ANd while it isn’t everything about me, it is a large portion of my adult identity and the fact that a complete stranger has basically made it impossible for me to get my BPII support until someone else re-diagnoses me, like I honestly feel lost. I remember when I was orginally diagnosed and I felt like I was on the top of the world, because I finally had a reason for how I felt and now 11 years later and I am feeling stranded again and, i am scared.